Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II
Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II is a 2008 episode of the television comedy series Robot Chicken, and the sequel to the Annie Award winning Robot Chicken: Star Wars, which aired as a one-off special during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block on November 16, 2008.
- Mon Mothma: [to Restaurant waiter] I'll have the calimari.
- Admiral Ackbar: Well. I guess I'll have the insensitive bitch. With a side of fuck you!
- Darth Vader: Welcome, my master! The Death Star construction is proceeding...
- Emperor Palpatine: [interrupting Vader] Yeah! Great! Fine! Whatever. That flight was a fucking nightmare man. My stupid tray table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee in my crotch; it was like dunking my wang in hot lava. Something you have some experience with I guess, huh? Right?
- Darth Vader: [shamefully] Yes...
- Darth Vader: [pointing to a black suitcase with a white stripe that is passing by Vader and Palpatine on a luggage conveyor belt] Is that yours?
- Emperor Palpatine: No! For the hundredth time, that's that same stupid black bag. Mine doesn't have a stripe. It's like that stripey bag is mocking me... Fuck you, stripey bag.
- Emperor Palpatine: Well, my suitcase is gone! Sacrificed to the airport gods... Now I'm here for two fucking weeks with one fucking robe. Alright, now it's sticking to me like a wet Kleenex. [A surfboard passes them on the conveyor] Wow, for real?
- Emperor Palpatine: [Emerging from a gift shop wearing "Death Star 2" merchandise] Yeah, guess I'll just be killing myself then.
- [Cut to Palpatine sitting in the throne room]
- Emperor Palpatine: Good chair, good chair. Nice lumbar support. Great view of [spins around to face the window] utter blackness.
- [The air conditioning grows loud. Palpatine spins back around in disbelief]
- Emperor Palpatine: Oh, for- I'm right under the air conditioning vent! And the chair's bolted to the floor? Who's the brainia- Hey Crayola, help me shut this vent!
- [An Imperial guard walks over and attempts to shut the vent with his pike]
- Emperor Palpatine: Yeah. Reach up there with your staff of Ra, and... [the guard knocks down the cover of the vent]
- [The air conditioning becomes gust-like. Palpatine's hat is blown away.]
- Emperor Palpatine: Hey, wanna see me tempt fate? [the guard nods] Could this day get any worse? I did it ironically, so I think I'm safe.
- [One hour later...]
- Emperor Palpatine: [Being carried by Darth Vader] What are you doing? Put me down! [screaming as he is thrown down the reactor shaft by Vader]
- Seth Green as Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Nerd, Ponda Baba, Bob Goldstein, various voices
- Seth MacFarlane as The Emperor, Dr. Ball, Cantina Band Member
- Breckin Meyer as Boba Fett, Admiral Ackbar
- Abraham Benrubi as Darth Vader
- Bob Bergen as Luke Skywalker
- Ahmed Best as Jar Jar Binks
- Hugh Davidson as Stormtrooper, Rebel Trooper
- Keith Ferguson as Han Solo, General Veers
- Conan O'Brien as Zuckuss, Star Wars nerd
- Adrianne Palicki as Padmé Amidala, Jessica
- Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia, Female Krayt Dragon
- Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian, Ackbar's Manager
- Donald Faison as Gary the Stormtrooper, Imperial Pilot, Darth Maul
- Andy Richter as Male Krayt Dragon, 4LOM
- Zeb Wells as Dengar