Look, Annie... I love you. But let's leave that out of this. I don't want to be someone that you're settling for. I don't want to be someone that anyone settles for. Marriage is hard enough without bringing such low expectations into it, isn't it?
Co-Worker: It's easier to be killed by a terrorist than it is to find a husband over the age of 40!
Annie: That statistic is not true!
Becky: That's right it's not true, but it feels true.
Barbara: I was in Atlantic City with my family. Cliff was a waiter. He wasn't even supposed to work that night, and suppose he hadn't? He asked me to take a midnight walk on the Steel Pier. I've probably told you this a million times, but I don't care. And then he held my hand. At one point I looked down and I couldn't tell which fingers were his and which were mine. And I knew.
Annie Reed: What?
Barbara: You know.
Annie Reed: What?
Barbara: Magic. It was magic.
Annie Reed: Magic.
Barbara: I knew we would be together forever, and that everything would be wonderful, just the way you feel about Walter. Walter. It's quite a formal name, isn't it?
Jonah Baldwin: [about Dr. Marcia Fieldstone] Talk to her, dad. She's a doctor.
Sam Baldwin: Of what? Her first name could be Doctor.
Dr. Marcia Fieldstone: People who truly loved once are far more likely to love again. Sam, do you think there's someone out there you could love as much as your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone, that's hard to imagine.
Dr. Marcia Fieldstone: What are you going to do?
Sam Baldwin: Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.
Dr. Marcia Fieldstone: Tell me what was so special about your wife?
Sam Baldwin: Well, how long is your program? Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic.
Annie Reed: [about An Affair to Remember] Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real. It was...
Becky: A movie! That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.
Sam Baldwin: I'd much rather just see somebody I like, and get a feeling about them, and ask them if they want to have a drink.
Jonah Baldwin: Or a slice of pizza --
Sam Baldwin: Not dinner. Not necessarily on the first date because halfway through dinner you could be really sorry you asked them to dinner. Whereas if it's just a drink, if you like them you can always ask them for dinner but if not, you can just say, "Well, that was great," and then you go home. If you see what I mean. [beat] I wonder if it still works this way.
Jonah Baldwin: It doesn't. They ask you.
Sam Baldwin: I'm starting to notice that.
Jonah Baldwin: If you get a new wife, I guess you'll get to have sex with her, huh?
Sam Baldwin: I certainly hope so.
Jonah Baldwin: Will she scratch up your back?
Sam Baldwin: [shocked] What?
Jonah Baldwin: In the movies, women are always scratching up the men's back and screaming and stuff when they're having sex.
Sam Baldwin: How do you know all this?
Jonah Baldwin: Jessica's got cable.
Sam Baldwin: Oh.
Sam Baldwin: [about Annie] She wants to meet me at the top of the Empire State Building. On Valentine's Day.
Suzy: It's like that movie.
Sam Baldwin: What movie?
Suzy: An Affair To Remember. Did you ever see it? Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. She's gonna meet him at the top of the Empire State Building... only she got hit by a taxi. And he waited and waited. And it was raining, I think. And then... she's too proud to tell him... that she's, uh... [starts to cry] crippled. And he's too proud to find out why she doesn't come. But he comes to see her anyway. I forget why, but, oh... Oh, it's so amazing when he comes to see her because... [crying more] he doesn't even notice that she doesn't get up to say hello. And he's very bitter. And you think that he's just gonna walk out the door... and never know why she's just lying there, you know, on the couch... with this blanket over her shriveled little legs. [sobbing]
Jonah Baldwin: Are you all right?
Greg: She's fine.
Suzy: Suddenly he goes, "I already sold the painting." And he like goes to the bedroom... and he looks and he comes out and he looks at her and he kind of just... They know and then they hug. And it's so... [trails off crying]
Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!
Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin[Begins to cry] were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...
Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...
Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...
Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.
Sam Baldwin: I'll tell you what I'm doing this weekend, I'm getting laid. It's the 1990's and nobody's getting laid. I'm the only man in America who's getting laid this weekend and I haven't been laid that much. Six girls in college, maybe seven. [sees Jonah standing in the doorway] How long have you been standing there?
Jonah Baldwin: Forever.
Sam Baldwin: What did you just hear me say?
Jonah Baldwin: Six girls in college, maybe seven.
Sam Baldwin: Seven... EIGHT! Mary Kelly.
Jonah Baldwin: [holds Annie's letter] This is the one I like!
Sam Baldwin: There is no way that we're going on a plane to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
Jonah Baldwin: You wouldn't let me!
Sam Baldwin: Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me! It scared the shit out of every man in America!