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Stanley (2001 TV series)

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Stanley is an American animated children's television series created by Cartoon Pizza. It originally aired on Playhouse Disney from September 15, 2001 to November 26, 2004. It is based off a series of books written by Andrew Griffin, or "Griff". A TV movie of the series, called Stanley's Dinosaur Round-Up was made in 2005.

Season 1

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Episode 1

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Kangaroo Clean-Up [1.1b]

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[Stanley is playing with his animal toys in his mom and dad's bedroom. He runs with a rhinoceros hand puppet.]
Stanley: CHARGE! Look out! Rhino coming through!
Dennis: [sees a rolling lion toy on the floor] Huh? Stanley! WATCH OUT!
Stanley: [slips on the toy] Whoa, WHOA! Uh!
[As Stanley falls on the floor, he sends a box of small plastic red monkeys up to the ceiling, just as his dad walks in. He screams as he is covered with the monkeys.]
Stanley: Mom! Dad!
Joyce: Stanley Griff, look at what a mess you made in this room!
Stanley: Sorry.
Mark: Aah! That's my good tie!
Stanley: No, daddy. That's my python. See? [hisses]
Joyce: That's very nice, Stanley, but--[gasps] My hat!
Stanley: That's the penguin's igloo!
Mark: Stanley, you know how much we love you, and we love how much you love animals.
Joyce: But that doesn't mean we like it when you turn our room into a total zoo.
Mark: Stanley, I want you to clean up this mess right now, or...
Joyce: Or...
Mark: [makes a confused goofy face] Or...
Both: No dessert tonight!
[Stanley's older brother, Lionel walks in.]
Lionel: Ooh! Guess who's gonna miss out on banana whammy!
Stanley: But that's my favorite!
[Lionel laughs mockingly at Stanley.]
Joyce: Lionel, that's enough.
Mark: Now, Stanley, you know what you have to do, right?
Stanley: Finish playing "jungle safari"?
[Lionel laughs again.]
Mark: Okay, you have 'til dinnertime to herd these animals back to your room.
Dennis: Boy, do you have a problem.
Stanley: You can say that again.
Elsie: [walks in] Boy, do you have a problem. [shuts the door behind her]
Stanley: Yeah, I know.
[Elsie yowls as Harry pushes the door open, and runs in.]
Harry: Hey, Stanley! Did ya hear? You have a problem!
Stanley: [irritated yelling] ALRIGHT, ALREADY!!!
[At bedtime.]
Stanley: Thanks for solving my problem, Dennis.
[Stanley feeds Dennis fish flakes.]
Dennis: Mmm. Oh, you're more than welcome, Stanley. But you know, you solved your problem yourself.
Stanley: I guess I did. I love kangaroos, don't you?
Dennis: Yes, I do. Especially when they're in Australia.
Stanley: They can jump so high...
Dennis: And they keep their joeys safe in their pouches.
Stanley: That's right. But you know who's my favorite animal friend in the whole wide world?
Dennis: Um... The rhinoceros?
Stanley: No.
Dennis: Uh... Aardvark?
Stanley: Nope.
Dennis: Uh... Thomson's gazelle?
Stanley:: Uh-uh. Nope. My favorite animal friend is better than any of those, because he's always there when I need him. My favorite animal friend... is you.
Dennis: [blushes] Oh...
Stanley: Goodnight, Dennis.
Dennis: Goodnight, kanga-room-a cleaner.

Episode 8

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A Whale of a Song [1.8a]

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[A humpback whale jumps out of the Great Big Book of Everything and onto the roof of Stanley's house, causing the house to shake.]
Mark: What is that?!
Joyce: Oh. That sounds like a big truck.
Lionel: [panics] Aah! The sky is falling!
[After Stanley got the whale back in the book...]
Lionel: I think... I saw... a whale on our house.
Stanley: A whale? No way, Lionel.
Lionel: I must be seeing things. Weird.

Sloth for a Day [1.8b]

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[Dennis was reading a book, when Stanley suddenly picks up his bowl.]
Dennis: Whoa! Where are we going?!
[Stanley slides down the stairs and runs through the house with Dennis.]
Stanley: Wahoo!
Dennis: Uh, I thought you were gonna think about your project.
Stanley: I think best of my pogo stick. I think it's in the garage.
[As Stanley keeps running, Dennis reacts in fright.]
Dennis: Watch out for those--!
[Stanley trips over a stack of newspapers, sending Dennis flying in the air.]
Stanley: Aaaah!
Dennis: Aaaaaaah!
Stanley: [gasps]
[Stanley catches Dennis' fishbowl, which catches the water, and Dennis.]
Dennis: Newspapers.
Stanley: This guy is cool. He doesn't look like he has any chores at all. What does he do all day?
Dennis: Well mostly, he eats leaves and hangs upside down.
Stanley: I'm gonna give it a try.
Dennis: [concerned] I don't know, Stanley. Hanging from a tree all day and all night might be okay for a sloth, but...
Stanley: You think it's a great idea, right?
Dennis: Well... Just don't eat the leaves.
[Stanley is hanging from the sloth's branch, covered in algae, and straining. Dennis' bowl is on top of the branch, also covered with algae.]
Dennis: Can we please stop this silly game, Stanley? Aren't your arms getting tired?
Stanley: [strains] Just a few more...
[Suddenly, Stanley, Dennis, and the sloth hear some growling above them. A jaguar is prowling across the canopy. He doesn't notice Stanley, Dennis, or the sloth, so he leaves. Stanley turns gets on top of the branch.]
Stanley: Wow. That jaguar was huge. He didn't see us.
Dennis: I think he was searching for a meal. Thanks for camouflaging my bowl.
[Suddenly, they hear the sound of a chainsaw.]
Stanley: What's that sound?
Dennis: Doesn't sound like any animal I've ever heard.
[A tree topples over.]
Stanley: Whoa! He's gonna...
Dennis: Cut us down!
Stanley: Whoa...
[Stanley screams as the tree topples over.]
Stanley: Aaaah!
[Dennis is briefly left hanging in the air, before plummeting down.]
Dennis: Aaaah!
Stanley and Dennis: Whoa--!
[Stanley and Dennis are fall down and into river water splash.]

Episode 20

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The Big Spill [1.20a]

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Mark: Stanley! Time for breakfast!
Stanley: Coming!
Mark: Good morning, Animal Boy.
Stanley: Morning, daddy. Is it okay if I get Dennis his breakfast first?
Mark: Sure thing! I think it's great the way you take care of that little fishy of yours.
Dennis: [irritated] "Little fishy"?! Did he say "little fishy"?!
Stanley: Now let's see. What would you like for breakfast today? Oatmeal, pancakes, poached eggs on toast?
Dennis: Very amusing, Stanley. Fish flakes will do quite nicely, as always.
Stanley: Of course, I can make my own breakfast. I made yours, didn't I?
Dennis: It was quite, quite delicious, and beautifully served, might I add.
Stanley: All I need is cereal... [takes a cereal box from out of the cabinet] Yes! Animal Smackos! And then, of course, I need milk.
[Stanley gets the milk, and takes it and the cereal to the table.]
Stanley: I pour the cereal into the bowl. [does so]
Dennis: Very nicely done!
Stanley: Then I pour the milk into the bowl. [does so]
Dennis: [worried] Watch out, don't spill.
Stanley: Didn't spill a drop!
Dennis: Bravo, Stanley!
Stanley: And the only thing left to do is eat.
[Stanley grabs the mat his bowl of cereal is resting on, but he pulls too hard, sending the cereal bowl and Dennis' fishbowl off the table.]
Stanley: Whoa, WHOA!
[Dennis screams as his fishbowl goes over the table, but Stanley manages to catch him in time. But the cereal has been spilled on the floor.]
Stanley: Oh, no!
Dennis: A bit of a mess-up, I'm afraid.
Stanley: [watching the anteater] That tongue is so cool. I can't wait to see it lick up all the milk and cereal I spilled. [runs up to the anteater] Come on, Mr. Anteater. I gotta get you back home right now.
Dennis: But Stanley, wait! Wait!
[Stanley grabs Dennis, and he jumps out of the book with him and the anteater.]
Stanley: What were you saying, Dennis?
Dennis: I was saying, "Wait, wait". Anteaters eat ants, you see.
Stanley: Yes, I know that.
Dennis: They do not eat milk and cereal.
[The anteater sniffs the spilled milk and cereal, and leaves.]
Stanley: Oh. Not even Animal Smackos?
Dennis: No, Stanley. You'd have to have spilled a bowl of ants to get this fella to help you clean up.

Episode 23

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In a While, Crocodile [1.23a]

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[The crocodiles start approaching Stanley and Dennis in the rowboat.]
Dennis: And now, for another important lesson. Sometimes, we have to... ROW VERY FAST!!!
Stanley: [after escaping the crocodiles] That was close.
Dennis: We almost lost more than our baby teeth, didn't we?

The Color of Stanley [1.23a]

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Elsie: Am I seeing things, or is Stanley changing colors?
Stanley: I'm changing colors? I'm not trying to.
Dennis: This is the part of changing colors I was talking about, Stanley. Chameleons often change color depending on how they feel, and they can't really control it.
Stanley: I guess we turn brown when we're not feeling well?
Dennis: I'm afraid so, Stanley.
Elsie: [pointing up] Look! He's changing again!
[Stanley, with a rather annoyed look on his face, changes his color from brown to blue-and-red stripes.]
Harry: That's pretty.
Dennis: [concerned] It's not meant to be pretty, Harry. These bright stripes usually mean a chameleon is getting angry.
Stanley: I am angry! [squeals angrily] I was thinking about Lionel and... "the dudes", and how I wouldn't be out here eating nasty bugs if I didn't wanna be like them. [he squeals again as he turns black]
Elsie: He's turning black!
Dennis: [nervous] Ooh. That means he's really mad.
Harry: Why are you so mad, Stanley?
Stanley: Because I was wrong about chameleons. [squeals] They can't just change colors to fit in whenever they want.
Dennis: That's right, Stanley. Chameleons can't hide their feelings any more than you can hide who you are around the big boys.
Stanley: [resigned] Great. [turns brown] I guess it won't do me any good to be a chameleon then.
Elsie: We're glad you can't be anybody but Stanley, Stanley.
Stanley: [turns green as his mood brightens] Really?
Elsie: Who else would take us on crazy adventures?
Harry: And tell us about other animals?
Dennis: And be our very best friend?
Stanley: Well, then, I guess I just have to be... me.

Episode 24

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Searching for Spring [1.24a]

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[On a late winter's day, Stanley takes Dennis outside.]
Dennis: It's awfully chilly out here, Stanley. What is it you wanted to show me?
[Stanley sees a giant pile of melted snow before him.]
Stanley: OH, NO!
[Marci and Mimi come running.]
Marci: What's the matter, Stanley
Stanley: Look at Dennis' surprise!
Marci and Mimi: Uh-oh.
Dennis: Well, I must say, I am surprised, Stanley. And I'm sure you know how much I appreciate, um... big... snow... lumps.
Stanley: But yesterday, it was a giant snow goldfish!
Mimi: It looked just like you, Dennis!
Marci: Only bigger, of course.
[Stanley kicks the melted snow pile in frustration.]
Stanley: I'm sorry, Dennis.
Dennis: No need to apologize. Snow tends to melt quite quickly in late winter.
Mimi: Yeah, and turn to mucky, ucky slush!
Marci: It's no fun playing outside anymore.
Stanley: You said it. It takes forever to put on a snowsuit.
Marci: And mittens.
Mimi: And boots.
Stanley: And this stupid cap. And then there's nothing to do except watch everything melt and get muddy.
Marci: I want it to be spring right now.
Stanley: Yeah!
Mimi: Me too.
Dennis: That would be lovely, of course. But I'm afraid it's not gonna happen overnight.

Save the Bluebird! [1.24b]

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Stanley: I'm gonna save all the endangered animals on Earth, Dennis!
Dennis: That's a rather large job, don't you think?
Stanley: Not for me. I've got it all figured out. A lot of animals are losing their homes because people keep cutting down forests.
Dennis: That's certainly true.
Stanley: So I'm gonna invite all the endangered animals to come live with us!
Dennis: Here? In your room?
Stanley: Well, sort of. It'll be great. I'll open the Stanley Griff Animal Hotel, see?
[Stanley imagines refurbishing his house into a hotel for all the animals of the world.]
Stanley: Don't worry, everybody! You'll be safe here! This way, alligators. How's it goin', sea lions? You're gonna love it here tigers.
Dennis: Excuse me! Stanley!
Stanley: Not now, Dennis. I'm welcoming my guests.
Dennis: Yes, but it's about those guests for yours. I think you're making a big mistake.
[Stanley's fantasy ends.]
Stanley: Mistake? How can helping endangered animals be a mistake?
Dennis: Well, you see, Stanley, there are lots and lots of endangered animals in the world.
Stanley: I know! And I'll save 'em all!
Dennis: And I really wish you could. But the truth is, they don't all get along with each other. If you open the Stanley Griff Animal Hotel, you would have big problems, I'm afraid.
[Stanley returns to his fantasy, all the animals inside his hotel are fighting. A scared rooster flies out the window, crowing.]
Stanley: Stop! Stop!
[All the animals flee from the hotel.]

Episode 26

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A Boy's Best Friend Is His Fish [1.26b]

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[While Stanley is at the pet shop with his mother, Dennis is anxiously pacing about his bowl.]
Dennis: Oh, my... Oh, dear... He's gone off to the pet shop again, hasn't he?
Elsie: Yes. I saw him drive away with his mother a few minutes ago.
Harry: And not just the pet shop, dude. I heard him say, "the pet fish shop".
Dennis: Then there's no doubt about it! Stanley is shopping for a new best friend fish!
Elsie: Now, Dennis, there's no need to jump to any conclusions about this.
Harry: Jump to what? I didn't see Dennis jump.
Elsie: Jump to conclusions means to make up your mind up about something before you know all the facts.
Dennis: [sadly looking in a mirror] I should have known this would happened someday. I guess I'm just not as gold as I used to be.
Elsie: Oh, Stanley would never replace you, Dennis. [jumps down onto the floor, and joins Harry on the bed] You're his favorite fish in the whole world.
Dennis: That's exactly what I always thought. But the evidence is clear.
Harry: Evidence? What's that?
Dennis: Evidence is something that helps you make a judgement about something. For instance, my fins, and gills, and the fact that I live in water are evidence I'm a fish.
Harry: But, Dennis, just because Stanley's been taking all his money to the pet shop, doesn't mean he's gonna buy a new fish.
Dennis: Hmm, perhaps. But whenever I ask him why he keeps going to the pet shop, all he says it's a "big surprise". And what could be a bigger surprise than being replaced by another fish?!
Harry: A bicycle?
Dennis: Now, really, Harry. What would a fish do with a bicycle? No, it's time I face it. Stanley wants a new best friend. Probably one of those little zebra fish or something. Fish with a little more pizazz than an average old run-of-the-mill goldfish like me. Huh. I can see it now.
[Dennis imagines Stanley talking to a more fancy-looking fish taking his place in his fishbowl.]
Stanley: And then after dinner, I'll read some comic books to you. After that, we can tell jokes and draw pictures.
Fancy fish: Why, thank you, Stanley! Oh, I know I'm just gonna love being your new best friend!
[Next to the fishbowl is Dennis in a glass of water, sad that he's been replaced.]
Dennis: "New best friend", indeed. I gave that boy the best years of my life.

Season 2

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Episode 1

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Ant Picnic [2.1a]

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[Stanley and his friends are getting ready for their picnic.]
Dennis: [holding a clipboard] Basket full of tasty treats?
Stanley: Check.
Dennis: Mm-hm. A bag full of fun games?
Marci: Check.
Dennis: A big old comfy blanket?
Mimi: Check.
Dennis: A group of friends eager for a day of fun and food?
Kids: Check!
Dennis: We have everything we need for our very own picnic.
Marci: This is so cool. I love eating outside.
Lester: Yeah! Outside tastes great!
Stanley: First thing we need to do is set up. Here. Everybody take a corner of the blanket so we can lay it down.
[The kids each move a corner of the blanket, when Mimi sees the flowerbed on her side.]
Mimi: No, Stanley! I wanna sit here!
[Mimi tugs on the blanket, pulling Stanley.]
Stanley: Whoa!
Mimi: Near the flowers!
Marci: No! I wanna sit by the swing!
[Marci pulls on her side of the blanket, tugging Stanley and Lester across the ground.]
Stanley: Whoa!
Lester: No! Let's sit over here!
Dennis: [worried] Oh, be careful with the blanket.
Mimi: [irritated; tugging on her side of the blanket] No, the grass is wet there! A wet blanket is no fun!
[Lester grunts as he tugs harder on his side of the blanket, until a corner of it tears. Lester is flung backwards]
Lester: Mimi! [looks at the torn corner of the blanket] A ripped blanket is no fun either.
[Stanley hears Harry howling and barking from inside the house. He runs out through the dog door, followed by Elsie. Harry yelps as he hits the bag of games, and crashes.]
Dennis: [winces] Ooh!
Harry: [panting] Hey, man! I hope you guys didn't start your picnic without us!
Stanley: Nope. We haven't started yet.
Elsie: Per-r-rfect. Wake us up when you're done, then.
[Harry and Elsie fall asleep.]
Stanley: Come on, guys. We can't pull the blanket in different directions. We gotta work together.
Lester: [sets a corner of the blanket down] Nah. This is good enough. [sits down] Let's just eat.
Dennis: [fits a handkerchief around his neck] Well. Now what shall we eat?
[The kids all talk at once.]
Stanley: Animal crisps!
Marci: I want tuna fish!
Lester: Peanut butter sandwiches!
Dennis: [annoyed] Come again?
Mimi: I think I heard "sandwich" in there somewhere.
Lester: That was me! Let's eat peanut butter sandwiches!
Marci: I don't like peanut butter. I like tuna fish.
Lester: You know, I invented peanut butter sandwiches. It's kinda like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but you leave out the jelly. You're gonna love it.
[Stanley takes out the animal crisps as he stares at Lester with confusion.]
Lester: Can I have the other slice now, Marci?
Marci: Okay.
[However, Marci hands Lester the slice of bread with tuna fish on it, rather than a matching half of peanut butter. Lester slaps both halves of the sandwich together.]
Lester: There. A perfect peanut butter sandwich. Take a bite, Stanley.
Stanley: Thanks, Lester. [takes a bite of the sandwich and reacts with shock and disgust] Yuck! There's tuna fish in here!
Lester: [confused] There is?
Marci: [also confused] Uh... Yeah. What do you think is in the tuna fish sandwich? Peanut butter?
Mimi: Here, Stanley. Wash it down with some tea.
[Stanley takes a sip from the teacup, only to find out it's empty.]
Stanley: Uh, Mimi, there's no tea in here.
Mimi: [pretends to take a sip from her teacup] Yeah. It's pretend tea, Stanley.
Stanley: Maybe we should decide what to eat together.
Mimi: [disgusted] I hope it's not peanut butter and tuna fish. [sniffs the sandwich] I don't think they go together. Yuck!
[She tosses the sandwich aside. It lands next to Lester, who looks down at it with confusion.]
Stanley: No, I mean... [sighs] Let's just eat the animal crisps, okay? They're nice and easy.
[However, when Stanley gets up to give his friends the animal crisps, he trips on a folded section of the blanket, knocking into his friends, dumping the food everywhere.]
Stanley: Whoa!
Lester: [panics] Look out!
[The animal crisps fall down around Dennis.]
Dennis: Oh, my. It's raining cows and sheep. [takes out an umbrella]
Marci: What happened?!
Stanley: The blanket attacked me!
Mimi: Look at this mess! The blanket's ripped and there's food everywhere!
Lester: [looks into his jar of peanut butter; gets upset] There's tuna fish in my peanut butter!
Marci: [looks into her tray of tuna fish; gets angry] There's peanut butter in my tuna fish!
[Stanley loses his temper and jumps up and down with rage.]
Stanley: OUR PICNIC IS RUINED!!!
[The kids stare at Stanley with shock, while Dennis sinks to his bowl, upset about the situation.]

Season 3

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Stanley's Great Big Book of Adventure (2008) [3.11]

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[Stanley, Marci, Mimi, and Lester are making monkey noises in the yard, interrupting Lionel from writing his song.]
Lionel: Stanley, what in the world are you doing?!
Stanley: Oh, hi, Lionel. We're playing "Follow the Monkey".
Lionel: "Follow the Monkey"?
Stanley: Yeah! That's when you act like a monkey, and everyone else has to follow you around. Wanna play?
Lionel: Sorry, Stanley. I'm way too busy. [grumbles]
[Lionel tries writing his song in the kitchen, but is interrupted by the kids acting like chickens.]
Lionel: Stanley, what are you doing now?!
Stanley: Playing "Follow the Chicken".
Lionel: "Follow the Chicken"?
Stanley: Yeah. That's when you act like a chicken, and everyone follows you around. Wanna play?
Lionel: If I didn't want to play "Follow the Monkey", what makes you think I'd wanna play "Follow the Chicken"?
Lester: 'Cuz in this game, you "bawk" like a chicken.
[Lionel leaves, grumbling.]
Lester: No, like this, Lionel! Bawk, bawk, bawk!
Mimi: I guess he doesn't like chickens.
Dennis: I know what I don't like. This jar.
Marci: It's not that bad, is it?
Dennis: It's terrible! I miss my home!
Stanley: Mom! Mom?
Joyce: Yes, Stanley?
Stanley: Dennis really doesn't like being in this mayonnaise jar.
Joyce: I know just what he needs.
Dennis: My bowl?
Joyce: A pickle jar.
Dennis: What do I look like, a gherkin?
[Lionel tries writing his song in his bedroom, but is interrupted by the kids acting like elephants.]
Lionel: Stanley, what are you doing now?
Stanley: Playing "Follow the Elephant".
Lionel: "Follow the Elephant"?
Stanley: Yeah! That's when--
Lionel: Don't tell me. It's when you pretend you're an elephant and everyone follows you around.
Stanley: Oh! You've played it before.
Lionel: No, I haven't played it before, and I don't wanna play now!
Stanley: It's because you don't like elephants, right?
Lionel: No. It's because I was busy writing a really cool song, but I keep getting interrupted by monkeys, and chickens, and elephants following each other!
Lester: Uh, actually, the chickens don't follow the monkeys.
Stanley: Sorry, Lionel, I didn't know.
Lionel: Well, now you do, so keep it down! [goes back to his bedroom, slamming the door shut]
[Stanley is knocking at the door of Lionel's bedroom, joined by Dennis and the kōkako bird.]
Stanley: Lionel, I have a surprise for you. [no answer] Lionel, I'm here to help you with your song. [the door opens and Stanley peeks in] Lionel?
Dennis: Oh, he doesn't seem to be in.
Stanley: Look! There's the song he was working on. Let's surprise Lionel by finishing it for him.
Dennis: I don't know if this is such a good idea, Stanley.
Stanley: It's not a good idea. It's a great idea! And when it's all done, I'll bet Lionel will want to play with me!
[Stanley walks over to Lionel's bed. He sets Dennis and the bird down as he picks up the paper and pencil.]
Stanley: Okay, little kōkako. You sing a song, and I'll write down the notes.
[The kōkako suddenly snatches Lionel's song from Stanley, and takes off.]
Stanley: Hey!
Dennis: Well, I guess he didn't like it.
Stanley: We have to catch him before he flies away!
Dennis: No worries, there, Stanley. The kōkako isn't a very good flyer.
[The kōkako hurries out the door on foot.]
Dennis: It is a very good runner, however.
Stanley: Come on!
[Stanley picks up Dennis and goes after the kōkako, but is stopped when Lionel shows up with a sandwich.]
Stanley: WAAH!
Lionel: [angry] What are you doing in my room, Stanley?
Stanley: [nervously] Um, I... Uh... I... Nice sandwich.
Lionel: Thanks. It's good brain food to help me finish my... song!
[Lionel has noticed his song wasn't on his bed.]
Lionel: [angry] Stanley, where's my song?
Stanley: The kōkako has it?
Lionel: The what-ako?
Stanley: The kōkako. It's a musical bird that I brought over to help you write your song.
Lionel: [smug] Right...
Stanley: Yeah, to help you write.
Lionel: [annoyed] No. Not "write" as in, "put words on paper". "Right...", as in a sarcastic response meaning, "Hey, I don't really believe you!"
Stanley: But it's the truth!
Lionel: [threateningly] Stanley. Get. My song.
Stanley: Right. I mean, okay.
[Stanley is trying to pull Lionel's song away from the kōkako.]
Stanley: Give it back! It's my brother's song! He needs it!
[Stanley keeps tugging on the paper, until it rips in half, leaving Stanley with only one half of the song, while the kōkako leaves with the other half.]
Dennis: Oh, no!
Stanley: Well, half a song is better with no song, isn't it?
[Lionel is looking for Stanley in his room. He opens his closet and looks in it.]
Lionel: There's no use in hiding, Stanley. Give me back my song.
[Stanley jumps out of the book with the torn half of Lionel's song. He approaches Lionel.]
Stanley: Hi, Lionel.
[Lionel gets startled, and jumps in the closet.]
Lionel: AAAH!
Stanley: [chuckles]
Lionel: Where did you come from?
Stanley: I was just getting your song back.
Lionel: Well, where is it?
[Stanley nervously presents the torn half of the song to Lionel.]
Stanley: Well... Here.
[Lionel grabs the half from Stanley. He is horrified.]
Lionel: My song! Where's the other half?!
Stanley: I just wanted to help you.
Lionel: Why do you have to always mess everything up?!
Stanley: It wasn't me! It was the bird-- The book-- The kōkako!
Lionel: [fed up] That's it.
[Lionel grabs Stanley's book.]
Stanley: What are you doing?!
[Lionel heads to Stanley's door.]
Lionel: I've had enough of you, and your silly animals, and your silly book.
[Lionel leaves Stanley's room, and makes his way back to his room.]
Stanley: Hey, come back with my book!
[Stanley chases after Lionel.]
Stanley: Lionel! Give it back!
Lionel: No way! I've got a lot of work to do, and I don't need you acting like an aardvark, or a guinea pig, or some goofy bird to mess it up! [slams the door shut]
Stanley: Lionel, give me my book! [yelling furiously] I WANT MY BOOK!!! MOM!!! DAD!!!
Lionel: Aw, man. I'm never gonna write the rest of this song. I really wish I could go. I can't write a song here. I can't do anything here. If I lived someplace nice and quiet, I could write a song. I could write a million songs. But, no. I have to live here with my pain-in-the-neck brother.
[As soon as Lionel sits down in his chair, the book opens. Lionel sees a picture of the Arctic circle in the book.]
Lionel: [astonished] Whoa! Look at that! Now that looks like a perfect place to write a song. No noise, no bothers, and no brothers. I wish I lived someplace like that.
[Right on cue, a swirling vortex opens in the book, and Lionel falls in.]
Lionel: WHOOOOAAAAA!
[Lionel pops out of a snowy hill, dressed in a parka. He has been teleported to the Arctic.]
Lionel: Where am I? STANLEY!!!
[Stanley approaches his parents, who are in the kitchen, sitting at the table.]
Mark: Something wrong, Stanley?
Stanley: Lionel took my book!
Mark: Well, just go and ask for it back.
Stanley: He won't give it back! He says he's busy, and I keep annoying him with animals!
Joyce: Why don't you go talking to him about it?
Stanley: He won't listen me! He doesn't even like me!
Joyce: Stanley, you know your bother loves you.
Stanley: No, he doesn't. He doesn't even like being around me. He says I bother him all the time and I always mess things up. Even when I'm trying to help him.
Mark: Stanley...
Stanley: It's true, Dad! He doesn't like animals and he doesn't like me!
Joyce: Listen, Stanley. Brothers argue sometimes, but it doesn't mean they don't like each other, does it?
Stanley: Yes! Maybe. I don't know.
Joyce: Doesn't Lionel do things that annoy you sometimes?
Stanley: Yeah! Like when he takes my book.
Joyce: But that doesn't mean you don't like him anymore, does it?
Stanley: Yeah! ...Well, no.
Joyce: And just because Lionel's annoyed at you, doesn't mean he doesn't like you.
Stanley: I guess.
Mark: Why don't you head back upstairs and try talking to Lionel? I'm sure you two will be able to work it out.
[Stanley knocks at Lionel's door and peeks into his room. Lionel's chair has been turned over, and Stanley's open book lying on the floor, next to it.]
Stanley: Lionel? Lionel? Lionel! Are you here? [goes into Lionel's room and spots his book] Hey, my book! I'm taking my book back, Lionel! [no answer] That's weird.
[Stanley props Lionel's chair back up and looks into his book.]
Stanley: What's that? [he sees a picture of Lionel's headphones in the snow] Those are Lionel's headphones. What are Lionel's headphones doing in--[horrified] Oh, no! Lionel fell into the Great Big Book of Everything!
Stanley: What happened out there, guys?!
Harry: It wasn't my fault, dude!
Elsie: Well, it wasn't my fault!
Harry: Yes, it was!
Elsie: No, it wasn't!
Harry: It was you!
Elsie: It wasn't me, it was you!
Stanley: Guys, we don't have much time! Just tell me, what happened?
Elsie: Stanley...
Harry and Elsie: We broke the Great Big Book of Everything.
[Harry and Elsie start crying.]
Stanley: [shocked] What?
Harry: All the pages in the book fell out and got all mixed up!
Dennis: [last lines] It's been said before, but I'll say it again: there's no place like home.
[edit]
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