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- Flying into Bora Bora makes you feel like you're in The Wizard of Oz and suddenly it's Technicolor.
- There was ABC, CBS, and NBC when I was a kid. That was it. How difficult it must've been to be successful. Now I look up and notice I'm watching channel 504. Everyone is a star of some show.
- What make a successful marriage? Well, I've been married about 40 years now. My wife and I went back to Hawaii in 2001 to renew our vows. It was a hippie thing. We found a woman-Reverend Jackie. Picked a spot out by the ocean where a guy was playing guitar. I think he was the best man or something.
- My father died when I was young. He was out delivering Christmas packages like he did every year. My mom said that after he delivered the packages, people looked down at him from the buildings and he always turned around and waved, but he didn't that day. He got in his car, had a heart attack or something, and died. He was buried on Christmas Eve. I had no brothers and sisters, so I was all by myself. It really changes you. For the rest of your life you're always expecting something bad to happen.
- I had a ham-and-cheese sandwich last night. It was the best sandwich I ever had. Just wonderful. White bread, American cheese, ham, tomato, mustard. Mary made it. Mary says I'll tell you virtually every meal I eat is the best I've every had. She's right.
- I've heard a lot of comedians were young when their parents divorced, or when a parent died or was killed. It forces you to have a sense of humor.
- One of the great things about kids is, they haven't heard a lot of the old jokes. You can get away with the corny ones.