Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable, precise and verifiable source for any quote on this list please move it to John Waters. --Antiquary 11:39, 20 September 2009 (UTC)
- My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior -- BEFORE the Reformation.
- If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.
- Some call me director, producer, filmmaker. I prefer to call myself pube-king.
- Strive for art in reverse.
- I would love to make a movie for very neurotic children. But then perhaps, I've already done that. I've shown my films at children's birthday parties. They just love them, like Punch and Judy shows.
- Oh, Squeaky Fromme, where were you when we needed you?"
- 1977, when asked about Anita Bryant
- As far as socially redeeming value, I hope I don't have any.
- I love Judy Garland, but if a reporter were coming to my home, I wouldn't have her music playing. A gay man loving Judy would be like a black person watching a minstrel show.
- Who on earth would want to assassinate Danny Thomas? It wouldn't even make the front page!
- My favorite movie idea is to do a movie where everything's fake — the trees, the grass, even the sun.
- I would never do hard-core pornography, because it looks too much like open-heart surgery.
- As a child, I always wanted to sit in William Castle's lap, not Santa's!
- I'm 100% gay and about 20% in gay society. Sometimes I'm more comfortable in punk rock clubs than gay clubs. There are just as many rules I rebel from in the gay world as the straight one. I'm gaily incorrect, but I do vote gay.
- Sometimes I wish I was a woman, just so that I could get an abortion.
- A movie star is someone you want to either get drunk with or have sex with.
- No matter what your sexual preference or gender, no one likes a man who is fussy about his looks. You can spend as much time as you want looking good. But don't do it in public.
- I've always wanted to sell out. The problem's been, no one's ever wanted to buy me.
- I don't trust anyone who hasn't been arrested at least once.
- What year was that?  Oh, I was on LSD. I wasn't paying attention."
- I don't need THAT to not vote for George Bush!
- When asked if Bush's opposition to gay marriage would sway his vote.
- I don't of care if [the Democrats] nominate Anna Nicole Smith, I still won't vote for Bush! - on if Al Gore's lack of appeal will hurt the Democrats in the election, Politically Incorrect, Summer 2000
- Nobody ever really felched anybody.
- Everyone in the audience was on drugs, everyone in the movies themselves were on drugs, and I was on drugs when I thought them up.
- Pink Flamingos was made as a crime, almost. Nobody gave me a headshot for that movie. The guy with the singing asshole just came up and showed me.
- If you are unlucky enough to be heterosexual and persist in having affairs anyway, make sure they are with a blood relation, preferably your mother or father.