Talk:Kin Hubbard

Unsourced

• A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

• A loafer always has the correct time.

• About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.

• All the world loves a good loser.

• An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

• Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

• Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.

• Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

• Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

• Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
  • Variant: Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.

• Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.

• If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.

• If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.

• If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

• It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

• It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

• It isn't enough for you to love money — it's also necessary that money should love you.

• It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.

• It's no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

• It's the good loser who finally loses out.

• Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

• Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep an' it keeps on laughin'.

• Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

• Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

• No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

• No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

• Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

• Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

• Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

• Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

• Some fellows pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.

• The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

• The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

• The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

• The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.

• The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

• The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

• The world gets better every day — then worse again in the evening.

• There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

• There is nothing more aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

• Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

• We become actors without realizing it, and actors without wanting to.

• Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speechmaker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

• You won't skid if you stay in a rut.