Talk:Kin Hubbard

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  • A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
  • A loafer always has the correct time.
  • About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.
  • All the world loves a good loser.
  • An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
  • Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
  • Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
  • Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
  • Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
  • Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
    • Variant: Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
  • Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
  • If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
  • If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
  • If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
  • It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
  • It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
  • It isn't enough for you to love money — it's also necessary that money should love you.
  • It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
  • It's no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.
  • It's the good loser who finally loses out.
  • Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
  • Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep an' it keeps on laughin'.
  • Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
  • Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
  • No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
  • No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
  • Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
  • Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
  • Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
  • Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
  • Some fellows pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.
  • The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
  • The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
  • The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
  • The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.
  • The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
  • The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
  • The world gets better every day — then worse again in the evening.
  • There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
  • There is nothing more aggravating as a fresh boy who is to old to ignore and to young to kick
  • Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
  • We become actors without realizing it, and actors without wanting to.
  • Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speechmaker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?
  • You won't skid if you stay in a rut.