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- Ah, that must be George Best's cremation.
- When shown a picture of the Buncefield Oil Depot Fire whilst appearing as a guest on Have I Got News for You in December 2005, provoking laughter and outrage in equal measure
- Calm down dear, it's a commercial.
- the catchphrase of his Esure adverts.
- God, the truth hurts!
- When asked by a Daily Telegraph reporter how he would respond to Gordon Ramsay's comment that "Winner knows nothing about food."
- When I tell people I've slept with more than 130 women, they are appalled but, you know, I've been doing it for 55 years so I don't think that's bad going!
About Michael Winner
- He's the only person I've ever met who talks to me as I wish to be talked to.
- Winner knows nothing about food.