Talk:Redd Foxx

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  • When you see the hand writing on the wall, you're in the toilet.
  • What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
  • I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.
    • Variant: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

As Fred G. Sanford[edit]

  • You big dummy!
  • Lamont, when I die, it's not gonna be "Sanford and Son" no more; it's gonna be Nobody and Son.
  • This is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!
  • My Elizabeth was as pure as the driven snow; and I am the only driver she ever had!
  • The name's Sanford. That's S-A-N-F-O-R-D, period.
  • I'm callin' you ugly, I could stick yo face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies.
  • How about I give you five across yo' lips?
  • Esther, you wouldn't want a drink, because you are a drink — a ZOMBIE!
  • I'm going to get my bud-nipper and start nipping some bud!
  • I tell you what I could use, new color TV.
  • I'm gonna put five of these where you sneeze.
  • Esther, warn me before you come in so I have a chance to cover all of the mirrors!