Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable and precise source for any quote on this list please move it to Tré Cool.
- Tre: "It's a good year when you name a drink and have a number one album. And you have to make up a sexual position too. To complete the act. That would be the bullwinkle."
Mike Dirnt: "The bullwinkle--"
Billie Joe Armstrong: "What's the Bullwinkle, Tre?" [pause] "Nevermind."
Mike Dirnt:"You can't tell what the bullwinkle is. We know what it is."
Tre: "I could demonstrate, but this, uh, isn't the right network."
Billie: "He'd need a volunteer."
- At a Fuse TV interview
- "I have a homosexual crush on most adolescents."
- "Billie's fingers smell like poo."
- (Talking about Mike taking a shit off the hotel balcony): "She was so pissed, so she was gonna make us leave the hotel . . . but she didn't. Big mistake!"
- It's, like, an okay tour bus and all, but people see "Bookmobile" on the side and come up and ask us if we have any books to sell. I mean how stupid is that . . . books? We don't even read.
- "They should legalize pot. Do it! DO IT!
- "We kick ass now. We've seen a million faces and we rocked them all."
- "I want to survive an avalanche. I want to be one of those people a dog finds buried under a ton of snow, almost dying of starvation."
- "I always said that the world is a better place because of Joey Ramone."
- "Music has never been at a better time then it is right now, we're really lucky to be a part of this wonderful thing called music."
- "You'd think we were really good at writing songs or something."
- "I object. I object to any killing at all. You know, it's terrible what happened and I think retaliation definitely makes sense and it's definitely one option. But, personally, I prefer peace. You know, maybe I'm just being ignorant and shortsighted, you know, it's true I'm not running the government, I'm not running the United States. I just don't think that killing people is a good way to remedy people dying. Martin Luther King Jr. said that you can murder a murderer but you can never murder murder itself."
- on the US's action after the WTC bombings
- "It used to be Mike, but lately I've been catching up."
- On which member of the band is most accident prone
- "I don't see anything on it, all I see is shows. There is never anything on it. Just MTV talking about how cool MTV is."
- About MTV on MTV
- "Mmm, you can almost smell the burning pork . . . Hey, you ever thrown rocks at cops?"
- "You know, I knew the day that George Bush was elected president that we were in deep, deep shit. I knew it. I was like, 'Well, the shit's gonna hit the fan now, 'cause, you know, the Bush family's been in the politics business for way too long to not have crazy enemies."
- Talking about how he doesn't believe they sold out
- "I want to wash your grandmother."
- "Lets count the waves . . . one, one thousand, two one thousand"
- "I don't understand what Billie just said so, I'll talk about chickens..."
- "It's good to have some offspring . . . Oops . . . Shouldn't say that word, can you edit it out?"
- "It was the pile of shit I ever saw."
- on the VMA's in '95
- "You can't fuck with us now. We did it. We pulled it off."
- talking about the record that was stolen and how they created a better album anyway
- "I can suck my own."
- "I told my dad 'Yeah, I’m going to be a drummer', and he said 'Well, if you can rub your stomach at the same time as you pat your head at the same time you’re standing on one leg and kicking the other one out in a circle and say the pledge of allegiance'. And I did all that just like bam, you know?"
- "I'd be a burglar. I'd burgle people."
- If he wasn't in a band
- "Life is like breakfast: you just mix all ingredients 'cause in your stomach it will all come together."
- "No man can eat 50 eggs!"
- Quoting the film Cool Hand Luke
- "Why are there no clouds in the sky? ... 'Cause God wants to watch his favorite band again!"
- "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I mean, not all liberals smoke lettuce. *coughs and falls to the floor*"
- "I can count to four in repeat; I'm a drummer."
- "Orange Mocha Frappucino!"
- "It's the place of worship! The place of rock!" (pause) "THIS IS A HOLY PLACE!"
- "I like Fisher Price music, nursery rhymes, and the alphabet song."
Mike: "I second that motion."
- "Shut your vagina!"
- "Never jack off a cactus." (pause) "Because you'll only hurt your hand . . . and the cactus' feelings."
- "People think that we're just good-looking guys with big dicks that play hot rock and roll."
- "The radio sounds good when we're on it, I know that."
- "You should always, you know, put thumbtacks and stuff on your wall, and write phone numbers on your butt."
- "I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump."
- "The year that punk broke? C'mon, punks have always been broke."
- "We were never concerned about success. We were just looking for places to play."
- Tré: "I never jizz in my socks"
Billie: "Yeah, that's why I've got scratches all over my feet"
- "Our motto is more booze and less guilt."
- "Chocolate milk, bitch."
- "Hemophiliac and necrophiliac. I can't stop bleeding and I can't stop having sex with corpses."
- (on fatherhood) "You just can't pull out the gun and blow the TV away anymore 'cause the baby might be sleeping."
- "It's a miracle for a marriage to last 15 years and that's only two people, this is three!"
- (on NWA's album Straight Outta Compton) "It stole rap from the east coast, and took it to the west coast. The best coast, where it belongs."
- "I'm encouraged to be loud and obnoxious."
- "Ow thats gotta hurt."
- "This is a message for all you kids out there: I never finished high school and I'm very rich and successful!"
- "A lot of crime happens underwater!
- Practice makes you perfect but nobody's perfect so why practice