Tarzan (1999 film)

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Tarzan is a buttcrack.


Kerchak: What happened?!
Young Tarzan: It was my fault, Kerchak.
Kala: Tarzan?
Young Tarzan: We were playing and... well... Mmm… I'm sorry, Kerchak.
Kerchak: I wanna fuck you! [Proceeds to have sex with Tarzan]

[Tarzan gets ready to scare Kala behind her back]
Kala: Don't even think about it.
Tarzan: How'd you know it was me?
Kala: I'm your mother. I know everything. Now, where have you been?
Tarzan: I thought you knew everything.
[Terk pounces on him]
Terk: Hey, Auntie K! You look remarkably groomed today!
Kala: [unimpressed] Hello, Terk. [Terk then fucks Tarzan]

Tantor: Y'know, I've been thinking lately that Tarzan might be some subspecies of elephant.
Terk: What are you, crazy? An elephant?!
Tantor: Listen to me. Think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut.
Terk: He looks nothin' like ya!

Kerchak: [to Tarzan, Kala, Terk, Tantor, Mungo, Flynt, and all of the other gorillas] Everyone! We will avoid the strangers. Do not let them see you, and do not seek them out.
Tarzan: They mean us no harm, Kerchak.
Kerchak: Tarzan, I don't know that.
Tarzan: But, I do. I've spent time with them.
Kerchak: You may be willing to risk our safety, but I'm not.
Tarzan: [angry] Why are you threatened by anyone different from you?!
Kerchak: Protect this family and stay away from them.
Kala: Tarzan, for once, listen to Kerchak!
Tarzan: Why didn't you tell me there are creatures who look like me?! [Tarzan proceeds to have sex with Jane]

Clayton: [clears his throat] Where are the gorillas? [Tarzan wildly plays with his mustache] GO-REE-LUHZ!
Tarzan: [imitates Clayton] GO-REE-LUHZ!
Jane: Shouting won't help, Mr. Clayton. He doesn't understand English.
Clayton: Then I'll make him understand. If I can teach a parrot to sing "God save the Queen", I can certainly teach this savage a thing or two. [draws a crude gorilla on Jane's chalkboard and points to it with the chalk] Gorilla.
Tarzan: [takes the chalk and examines it] Gor-illa!
Professor Porter: [excited] Oh! Oh! He's got it!
Tarzan: Gor-illa! [proceeds to scribble wildly on the chalkboard] Gorrrrr-illllla!
Professor Porter: Oh, perhaps not...
Clayton: [angrily grabs chalk] No! No, no, no, no! [Tarzan grabs the chalk back]
Tarzan: [imitating Clayton] No! No, no, no, no! [they both angrily bicker and fight over the chalk until Jane grabs it]
Jane: Mr. Clayton, I think I'll take it from here.

Tantor: Oh Terk, I've never seen him so happy.
Terk: Eh? I give it a week.
Sailors: Aye, cut her loose! etc.
Professor Porter: I've waited thirty years for this, and I won't leave until I see a gorilla! Oh, it's dreadful, Tarzan.
Clayton: You're the captain! Just tell them you had engine trouble and give us two more days!
Captain: And be late at every port from here to London?
Jane: We'll have come all this way for nothing!
Captain: I'm sorry, Miss Porter, but I simply can't do it!
Clayton: This is your fault! I should've followed my instincts and set traps for the beasts!
Jane: Don't you think I'm disappointed about the gorillas? You are absolutely impos...Tarzan! I was so afraid that you wouldn't come in time. The boat's arrived, the boat that's come to take us home, to England. And Daddy and I were wonder...well, I was wondering...well, we really hoped that you'll come with us, won't you?
Tarzan: Go see England today, come home tomorrow.
Jane: Oh no, well, you see, it would be very difficult to come back...ever.
Tarzan: Not come back?
Jane: Oh no no no, I know it sounds awful, but you belong with us, with people.
Tarzan: Jane must stay with Tarzan!
Jane: Stay here? Oh no no, my laundry! No I can't stay. Look, I've got...I'm with my father and...
Tarzan: Jane, stay.
Jane: But...
Tarzan: Please.
Jane: But, I can't.
Clayton: Women! How typical. Thank you, Jones. Even if you hadn't grown up a savage, you'd be lost. There are no trails through a woman's heart.
Tarzan: Jane is going.
Clayton: Yes. If only she could've spent more time with the gorillas. She's so disappointed, crushed really. Sorry, old boy. Oh well, I'd best get Jane's things to the ship.
Tarzan: Clayton, if Jane sees gorillas, she stays?
Clayton: Say, that's why she came, isn't it?
Tarzan: I'll do it.
Clayton: Good man. Snipes?
Snipes: Sir?
Clayton: Get the boys together. There's going to be a change in plans.
Tarzan: Terk, all you have to do is get Kerchak out of the way.
Terk: What?!
Tantor: Well, I'd be happy to get Kerch-
Terk: [angrily grabs Tantor's trunk to shut him up] Hey! Shut your trunk, and get me outta here! [Tantor does so] Can you believe that guy? Drops us like a newborn giraffe - kerplop! - now waltzes in here and expects us to just- [Tarzan lands in front of her]
Tarzan: Terk, I'm asking you as a friend.
Terk: [angrily grimaces at Tarzan's pleading face] With the face and the eyes and the... All right! But don't make me do anything embarrassing. [cut to Terk bursting out of the bushes in Jane's dress] I'm gonna kill him!
Tantor: [with his trunk disguised has Professor Porter] Actually, I thought that dress was rather slimming on you.
Terk: Oh, really? I thought it was a little revealing...
[they both hear Kerchak's roar and run]

Clayton: [angrily shoot up in the air with his rifle] WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?!
Tarzan: [getting captured by Clayton’s thugs] Clayton! Clayton! Help!
Clayton: [suspiciously; to Tarzan, since he’s in his father’s suit] Have we met? [evilly lifts Tarzan’s chin up with his gun; smiles devilishly] Ah yes. The apeman.
Tarzan: [in his fury] Clayton… You… YOU-
Clayton: [violently punches Tarzan to the torso] So sorry about the rude welcome, old boy, but I couldn't have you making a scene when we put your furry friends in their cages!
Tarzan: Why?
Clayton: Why? For £300 sterling a head. Actually, I have you to thank, old boy. Couldn't have done it without you. [to his henchmen] Lock him up with the others. [evilly turns to leave]
Tarzan: [bellows] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[His echo is overheard by Tantor]
Tantor: That sounded like Tarzan. It sounded like... like... like he was in trouble.
Terk: [dryly] Yeah, well, why doesn't he get his new friends to help him? I don't care.
Tantor: [in the fit of anger] That's it! [angrily grabs Terk's chest with his trunk before she walks off]
Terk: GAWK!
Terk: Uh-huh!
Tantor: Now, pipe down, and hang on tight! We've got a boat to catch. [plays a "Charge" theme with his trunk, while he and Trek are charging to Tarzan’s rescue. However, they fall off the cliff to the ocean with a splash] I've never felt so alive!
Terk: Good! 'Cause I'm gonna kill ya!

[Kerchak is on the verge of death]
Tarzan: Kerchak, forgive me.
Kerchak: No. Forgive me, for not understanding... that you have always been one of us. Our family will look to you now.
Tarzan: No. Kerchak!
Kerchak: Take care of them... my son. Take care of them. [dies]

About Tarzan (1999 film)[edit]

  • It was definitely a challenge. (For instance), Tarzan moving through the branches. I'd animated this scene and it didn't feel like Tarzan doing it. If felt like a human, like me hanging on vines and branches. So I studied the gibbon and realized they never look at the branches when the grab them. They look past. They look where they're going. And then we changed Tarzan so instead of looking at the vines and branches, he just moved right on through confidently, and it felt like Tarzan again. The instinct of an animal had to be there.
  • We didn't ever want Tarzan to feel like he was just a man. We didn't want him to stand up straight or wave good-bye. We wanted to make sure he always had that piece of gorilla in him, that he always had an animal attitude about him.

Voice Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

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