Team America: World Police

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Team America: World Police a 2004 film by "South Park" and "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" (the latter being the pair's fist major-non Live-Action film offering, and forth overall) Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. They made the film using a variation of the Supermarionation technique - which Stone jokingly calls supercrappymation - chiefly known from the 60s tv-show Thunderbirds.

Paris, France, 3635 Miles East of America[edit]

[Paris is reduced to a smoldering pile of rubble.]
Joe: Bonjour, everyone! Don't worry. Everything is bon! We stopped the terrorists.

Recruiting Gary Johnston[edit]

Spottswoode: Gary, this is Lisa. She specializes in how the terrorists think.
Lisa: Usually a case of malignant narcissism brought on during childhood.

Spottswoode: We will disguise you as a terrorist and take you deep into the Middle East. If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us all the information we need to stop this whole thing from happening. Of course, if you're not interested, there's the door.
Gary: All right, thanks. [walks out the door]
Spottswoode: Huh.

Hans Blix in Kim Jong-il's Palace[edit]

Kim Jong-il: (in English) Hans Blix? Oh, no!
Hans Blix: Let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind.
Kim Jong-il: (in English) Hans, you're breaking my balls here, Hans. You're breaking my balls!
Hans Blix: I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace, or else...
Kim Jong-il: (in English) Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong-il: (in English) Ok, I show you around. First, move to your left a little.
[Blix moves]
Kim Jong-il: (in English) A little more.
[moves again]
Kim Jong-il: Good!
[opens trap door then walks to shark tank]
Kim Jong-il: (in English) There you go, Hans Blix! How do you like that, you fucking cock-sucker?
[watching a shark tear Blix apart]
Kim Jong-il: (in English) Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am, Hans Blix? Well, fuck you! You want inspection? Well, inspect that, you butt-fucking piece of shit! What, do you think I'm just a petty arms dealer? I'm planning the attack! Congratulations, Team America. You have stopped nothing!

The Empire Strikes Back[edit]

Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I screwed up with Cairo... I let racism cloud my judgment... I was so sure the world's ultimate terrorist must be Middle Eastern that... I never suspected he was a God-damn gook. I'll never be racist again.

Dicks, Pussies, Assholes Speech[edit]

Gary: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong-ll is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes — assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate — and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Dialogue between Gary Johnson and terrorist[edit]

Gary Johnston: Bak. Derk-derk-Allah. Durka durka Mohammed jihad. Haka sherpa sherpa bak Allah.
Terrorist: Ahhh! Durka durka durka!

Film Actor's Guild[edit]

Matt Damon: Matt Damon.


I'm So Ronery[edit]

Kim Jong-il:
And so, I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
There's nobody I can rerate to
Feewr rike a bird in a cage
It's kinda sirry
But, not rearry
Because, it's fiwring my body with rage.

You Are Worthless[edit]

Note: This song is played near the end of the credits on the DVD. This has been confirmed on the UK PAL and the US NTSC DVD. It was also present in the theatrical release.

Kim Jong-il:
You are worthress Arec Barrwin,
You are worthress Arec Barrwin,
You faired in evwy way and now my stock in you has farren,
Your career is starrin' and,
You're worthress Arec Barrwin,
That's why I brew your head off and your chirdren are arr bawrin.'

I got Balls[edit]

Gary: I Touched my balls hard. Twice.

About Team America: World Police[edit]

  • Team America is incredible in how deftly it recontextualizes blockbuster action flicks likeThe Rock or Bad Boys. Inside each scene, you may have goofy characters or silly voices, but the structure of the film is, pace-for-pace, a blockbuster film. The scene structure, the staging, the set pieces - it's all a take on Michael Bay and his ilk. Because that is done so cleverly, you hardly even notice it, which gives Team America a time-tested foundation to build upon. Every scene has been rigorously tested with audience after audience, summer after summer.
  • The whole movie has this sideways humor to it, almost begging you to think critically about it. It's as if Matt and Trey don't care at all, when every scene apathetically introduces more casual racism or ignorance ("Derka derka, Muhammad jihad", "Everyone has AIDS!", "So Ronery"), but the more you look at it, the more you realize just how much care it takes to SEEM that culturally insensitive. It's a lead; A trap. They want you to call the movie racist for X, so they can show you your own hypocrisy for not seeing, or being concerned with, Y. Which is exactly the point of the movie! Stop worrying so much about whatever YOUR hot-button issue is, and try to see how fucked up the whole of the issues are.
  • 10796 as quoted in "Why Team America Suceeds As Satire Where The Interview Fails" by Lauren Davis, IO9, 12/26/14* On top of unfavourable reviews, the White House declared Team America unpatriotic and Sean Penn was so offended by his puppet's depiction as the head of the fictitious Film Actors Guild (FAG) that he sent the filmmakers an irate letter.
  • On top of unfavourable reviews, the White House declared Team America unpatriotic and Sean Penn was so offended by his puppet's depiction as the head of the fictitious Film Actors Guild (FAG) that he sent the filmmakers an irate letter.
  • It was the worst time of my entire life - I never want to see a puppet again. It ruined all the serious relationships in my life. You just become a different person, get completely stressed out and don't pay attention to anything else.
    You work 20 hours a day, take sleeping pills to go to bed and drink coffee to stay up. You feel like a piece of s**t, none of your friends like you, your parents don't like you, but you have a movie at the end.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about:
Trey Parker and Matt Stone
  Films     1990s     Cannibal! The Musical  (1993) · Orgazmo  (1997) · BASEketball  (1998) · South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut  (1999)  
  2000s     Team America: World Police  (2004)  
  Television     Time Warped  (1995) · South Park  (1997–present) · 50th Primetime Creative Arts Emmy Awards  (1998) · That's My Bush!  (2001) · Kenny vs. Spenny  (2003–2010) · How's Your News?  
  Music     DVDA · Chef Aid: The South Park Album  (1998) · Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics  (1999) · "Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld" (2000)  
  Theatre     The Book of Mormon  (opened 2011)  
  Video games     South Park: The Stick of Truth  (2014)  
  See also     The Spirit of Christmas  (1992, 1995) · Your Studio and You  (1995) · Princess  (1993)