Team America: World Police
Team America: World Police is a 2004 film by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The movie is created using a variation of the Supermarionation technique - which Stone jokingly calls supercrappymation - chiefly known from the 60s tv-show Thunderbirds.
- 1 Paris, France, 3635 Miles East of America
- 2 Recruiting Gary Johnston
- 3 Hans Blix in Kim Jong-il's Palace
- 4 The Empire Strikes Back
- 5 Dicks, Pussies, Assholes Speech
- 6 Dialogue between Gary Johnson and terrorist
- 7 Film Actor's Guild
- 8 Songs
- 9 I got Balls
- 10 External links
Paris, France, 3635 Miles East of America
- [Paris is reduced to a smoldering pile of rubble.]
- Joe: Bonjour, everyone! Don't worry. Everything is bon! We stopped the terrorists.
Recruiting Gary Johnston
- Spottswoode: Gary, this is Lisa. She specializes in how the terrorists think.
- Lisa: Usually a case of malignant narcissism brought on during childhood.
- Spottswoode: We will disguise you as a terrorist and take you deep into the Middle East. If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us all the information we need to stop this whole thing from happening. Of course, if you're not interested, there's the door.
- Gary: All right, thanks. [walks out the door]
- Spottswoode: Huh.
Hans Blix in Kim Jong-il's Palace
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) Hans Blix? Oh, no!
- Hans Blix: Let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind.
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) Hans, you're breaking my balls here, Hans. You're breaking my balls!
- Hans Blix: I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace, or else...
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) Or else what?
- Hans Blix: Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) Ok, I show you around. First, move to your left a little.
- [Blix moves]
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) A little more.
- [moves again]
- Kim Jong-il: Good!
- [opens trap door then walks to shark tank]
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) There you go, Hans Blix! How do you like that, you fucking cock-sucker?
- [watching a shark tear Blix apart]
- Kim Jong-il: (in English) Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am, Hans Blix? Well, fuck you! You want inspection? Well, inspect that, you butt-fucking piece of shit! What, do you think I'm just a petty arms dealer? I'm planning the attack! Congratulations, Team America. You have stopped nothing!
The Empire Strikes Back
- Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I screwed up with Cairo... I let racism cloud my judgment... I was so sure the world's ultimate terrorist must be Middle Eastern that... I never suspected he was a God-damn gook. I'll never be racist again.
Dicks, Pussies, Assholes Speech
- Gary: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong-ll is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes — assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate — and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are only an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!
Dialogue between Gary Johnson and terrorist
The movie often made fun of people through stereotyping their languages and speech. Here is one notorious example; note the references to Islam.
Terrorist: Ahhh! Durka durka durka!
Film Actor's Guild
Matt Damon: Matt Damon.
I'm So Ronery
- Kim Jong-il:
And so, I'm ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me
There's nobody I can rerate to
Feewr rike a bird in a cage
It's kinda sirry
But, not rearry
Because, it's fiwring my body with rage.
You Are Worthless
Note: This song is played near the end of the credits on the DVD. This has been confirmed on the UK PAL and the US NTSC DVD. It was also present in the theatrical release.
- Kim Jong-il:
You are worthress Arec Barrwin,
You are worthress Arec Barrwin,
You faired in evwy way and now my stock in you has farren,
Your career is starrin' and,
You're worthress Arec Barrwin,
That's why I brew your head off and your chirdren are arr bawrin.'
I got Balls
Gary: I Touched my balls hard. Twice.