That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana
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That's So Raven --- Checking Out
- Raven: (upon entering the Tipton) Ooh swaaanky!
- Moseby: Thank you. We take pride in our "swank." Welcome to the Tipton. Do you have your reservation?
- Raven: Actually, yes I do.
- Raven: (Upon finding out that her Secretech messed up the shoot) I ruined everything. EVERYTHING!!!
- Tyler: (on the phone) This is Tyler, yes, I read it. It was garbage. Of course I'll do it.
- Raven: Hey guys! Put your hands here.
- Cody: Why?
- Raven: Just do it!!
[Tyler falls, the twins caught her, averting Raven's vision]
- Tyler: You saved me! (Gives Zack and Cody hugs.) Thank you.
- Cody: (dreamily) No! Thank you!
- Zack: [Zack smells her hair]
- Tyler: Eww!
- Zack: [to Raven] Hey, how'd you know that she was gonna fall?
- Raven: [hesitantly, to cover up her psychic secret] Don't y'all watch the news lately? There's been an epidemic...of falling stars lately. It's creepy.
- Cody: Oh, good to know. I'm Cody and this is Zack.
- Raven: Hi, I'm Raven.
- Cody: And if there's anything we can do for you, we've got your back.
- Raven: Really? Hey, do you know how to work a Secretech?[the boys laugh]
- Zack: Nobody does.
- Raven: [To Zack and Cody] You're Juan, and you're Kveld.
- Cody: Actually he's Juan and I'm Keveld.
- Raven: Oh snap.
- Pistache: [seeing Donna and Raven dressed like her] What is this? And this? Are you here to mock me?
- Donna: No. We don't mock. I am Donna Cabonna and this is my assistant Raven.
- Raven: Yes, Raven Baxter. We are dressed like this to, uh [pause, thinking] ...honor your great genius.
- Donna nods in agreement
- Pistache: This I can understand. If I were not me, I would want to be me too.
- Donna: Touche.
- Pistache: [spotting Zack and Cody] This [pause] is not Juan and Keveld.
- Donna: Raven, you're fired.
- Raven: Yeah, I kind of figured that.
- Pistache: They are even better.
- Donna: Raven you're re-hired.
- Raven: Sweet!
- (a dismayed Raven finds out her Secretech did not wake her up in time for her flight and she has to stay at least one more night)
- Moseby: Wake-up call this time.
- Raven: (being driven off in a luggage cart) Yes, please.
- (Pistache directs Zack and Cody in such a way as their backs are to the camera)
- Zack: But you can't even see our faces.
- Pistache: Exactement, that is the genius of [pause, turning around] Pistache.
- Chelsea: [using the paddleball] I'm trying to do like Mr. B but the ball keeps getting in the way.
- Cory: Well, she's a natural.
- Chelsea: You guys, stop teasing me. It's not easy as it looks.
- Eddie: No, Chelsea, you're doing it right. You're supposed to hit the ball.
- Chelsea: Well, on that case, Mr. B, you stinks.
- Victor: After I warmed it up for you. Show-off.
- Chelsea:[after tricking Stanley into stopping giving her the world record for paddleball use] I just destroyed a young man's faith in humanity.
- Eddie: And restored it in two others [dancing]
- Chelsea: You guys, I can't do this. There's only one way to wipe the conscience clean. [take the cheque from Cory and give it to Stanley]: Stanley! I want you to have all the money. [Stanley smiles]
- Cory and Eddie: [chorus] NO!!!
- Chelsea: Yes! Stanley was the only one who was honest and he should be rewarded for that.
- Stanley: Thank you, Red. I guess there's still good left in the world. [turn to Cory and Eddie] Gentlemen, [waves cheque in front of Cory and Eddie's faces] It's been real. [leaves].
- Cory: NO!!! [hit the door]
- Eddie: Did you see what he just did?
- Cory: He just scammed you!
- Chelsea: I don't feel scammed. I feel good. I mean, I got the title. And Stanley got the money and we all got we wanted.
- Cory: We didn't get what we wanted!
- Chelsea: [with a knowing smile] No, but you got what you deserved.
- Cory: Nothing?
- Chelsea: Exactly. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to set the record behind my back [playing paddleball behind her back].
The Suite Life --- That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana
- Irene: I'm sorry but your flight has been canceled.
- Raven: No!
- Irene: Yes.
- Raven: No.
- Irene: Yes.
- Raven: NO!
- Irene: Yes.
- Raven: NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! [leaving]
- [after Raven has a vision]
Zack: Hey Raven, you OK? You had this weird look on your face.
Raven: No, I didn't.
Cody: Yes, you did. You were doing this [makes Raven's vision face]
Raven: I've never made that face before in my life.
- Raven: [after she has the vision of one of the twins] Okay, I don't know how to tell you this but I had this feeling that one of you is going to be in trouble.
Zack: Trouble for us isn't exactly "breaking news". [quotes "breaking news" with his fingers, while Cody nod])
- Raven: [to Cody] Well, uh. If you hear a bell or a sneeze [pause] you should run.
Cody: Why are you looking at me?
Raven: (to Zack) Um, do you wear sweater vests?
Zack: (laughs) No.
Raven: Well, nice knowing you, Cody. [Cody feels afraid and brinks]
- Raven: You cool with London Tipton?
Maddie: Are you kidding? [giggles] We're like sisters. Except that she's rich, famous and she thinks algebra is a Greek island.
- Zack: Hey, Mom, what are you cooking? Is that oatmeal? Cause I hear that it helps people over a certain age stay regular.
Carey: I'll have you know I am nowhere near 'a certain age'. In fact, some people consider me to be quite young.
Cody: Yeah, people who are quite old. [Zack and Cody begin walking away]
Carey: Mom says, "Have kids, they're a joy!" Yeah, right.
- Arwin: [talking through the pipe to Moseby] It's Carey's birthday present. Don't tell her what it is.
Moseby: [talking through the pipe to Arwin] I wouldn't be able to if I tried.
- Carey: Life is full of risks but you can't spend your whole life hiding.
Cody: Easy for you to say. Most of your life is over.
- Zack and Cody: (singing) Your body may be sagging, but we can still be bragging.
Cody: Don't need to make no drama-
Zack: [continues] You're still the coolest mama.
Cody: So eat some cake and ROCK OUT!
Zack: We wanna hear you all shout!
[Moseby shakes his head]
Zack and Cody:Have a very very happy birthday Mom!
Zack: [to Moseby after singing] So do you think Mom will like our birthday present?
Moseby: You guys are broke, aren't you?
- [After putting on Cody's vest]
Zack: Oh no!!
Zack: I look like a dork.
- Zack: [when Carey is crying at the party] Oh, Mom, Mom, don't cry. We were just kidding about you being old.
Cody: Yeah! We were torturing you to make you think that we didn't care, so you would be that much happier when we surprised you! Huh? Huh? [pushing at her arms]
(Carey sobs louder)
Cody: It was Zack's idea. (pushes Zack in front of him)
- After Zack falls on the cake
Cody: Dude, you were right! I had nothing to worry about!
[Zack raises his head, looks at Cody and shakes his head slowly in icing-covered disgust].
- London: [finding out that Maddie switched labels with another's to trick her into wearing Raven's dress] Wait a minute, I'm wearing something made by somebody who's ... not famous? I've never done that before! Even my diapers were designed!
- Zack: At least Mom liked our dance.
Cody: Well, with flood, fire, and runaway robot. Let's just say she was just glad to get out of there alive.
- Arwin: [after seeing Hannah Montanna] You're Hannah Montana! Oh, I almost passed out. (freezes and falls to the ground sideways)
- Cody: You're Hannah Montana!
Hannah: And you're wearing cake. [takes a bit from Zack's shirt] Mmm, vanilla, my favorite.
- Raven: She has that state name... New Jersey, Nebraska, Arizona...
Raven and Maddie: Hannah Montana! Ahhhhh! [they run, screaming, towards her]
London: Hey, Hannah! I haven't seen you since my sang at my birthday party last year.
Hannah:Yeah, I had a blast. By the way, y'all still haven't paid me for that.
Maddie: Well, that's how the rich stay rich.
Raven: You know that's right.
Hannah: I love your dress.
London: This thing? [pointing at Raven's dress]
Hannah: Where'd you get it?
Raven: That's me, Raven Baxter. [pointing at herself]
Hannah: I'm hosting an awards show next week. Can you make me another one?
London: Sorry, this is a one-of-a-kind. It was made for me and only me.
Maddie: I thought you didn't like it.
London: A girl can really change her mind, can't she?
Hannah: Well, I want a Raven original. Let me have a look at it.
Hannah: Oh, hold on a second. My ring's stuck to it.
London: Hey, what are you doing? Hannah, let go!
Hannah: Oh, like I have a choice. Seriously, stop!
Raven: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! I can't believe it! London Tipton and Hannah Montana are having a catfight over my dress! [squealing] This is the best day of my life!
Dress rips off-camera.
London: Hey, you ripped it!
Hannah: No, you ripped it!
Raven: (looking grim) Oh, no she didn't.
She and Maddie walk in the direction of the other two.
- Maddie: (trying to ask the mirror) so, these are the nicest things I own. what do you think of this one?
Maddie: This one?
Mirror: Ha, I don't think so
Maddie: Yeah well, that frame makes you look fat. uh-huh.
Mirror: Well, I kinda like your shoes.
Mirror: No, Psych! *laughs*
Maddie: Y'know the mirror in Hat World is alot nicer than you
Mirror: Hey honey! the 80's called, they want their clothes back! *laughs*
Hannah Montana --- On the Road Again
- Roxy: Excuse me Miss Montana, there's this girl who wants to see you. Claims she's Maddie from the candy counter. Want me to tell her you're not here?
Maddie and Hannah appear bewildered.
Maddie: But she's standing right there! I can see her!
Roxy: Not if her bodyguard says you can't!!!
- Maddie: Sorry, Hannah, can't see you!(whispering)By the way, love the top.
Hannah/Miley: It's okay, Roxy. She's a friend of mine, you can let her in.
Roxy: You're in luck, she's here. Hey, I got my eyes on you!!!
- Hannah: Hey Maddie, just the tush I'd been looking for. Can you close my suitcase?
Maddie: What 'til I tell my friends that I sat on Hannah Montana's suitcase! Ahh!
- Maddie: (listening to Robby sing) You know that sounds just like the singer my Mom used to listen to. What did they call him? The Honkytonk Heartthrob.
Hannah: Oh, you mean Robby Ray.
Maddie: Yeah that's the guy. He had a couple of Top 10 songs.
Robby: Actually three Number 1's, two Top 5's, Music Video of the Year, but who's counting?
- Maddie: Oh, my gosh! You're Robby Ray! My Mom thought you were dead. She's going to be so excited you're alive!
Robby: I'm kinda happy about that myself.
- Jackson: You guys, you gotta check this out! (Holds up videotape) It's labeled "Robbiepalooza."
Miley: Oh! Dad had his own Palooza.
- Lily: Before your Dad was a Dad he was cool. Before my Dad was a Dad he was an accountant.
- Lily: (to Miley) You have a great voice. Your Dad is awesome. (to Jackson) What's your talent?
Jackson: Well I don't like to brag but...(puts hand underneath armpit and begins making squishing and popping noises that sound like flatulence).
Miley and Lily: Ooh (in disgust)
Jackson: And when I'm clammy I can do it behind my knees. (demonstrates to the disgust of the girls)
Robby: (entering the room) Slow down, son. You don't want to get another rash.
- Lily: Mr. Stewart you were awesome. What happened?
Robby winces as Lily realizes how it sounded
Lily: I mean why aren't you still performing?
Robby: I have all my time with Miley and Sir Toots-a-lot.
- Robbie: Sweetheart, that was ten years ago. I bet my old manager doesn't even remember my name.
Doorbell rings,as if on cue.
Marty: Robbie Ray, open this door!
Miley: Oh, is that your old manager, Marty Klein?
Jackson: I believe it is.
Lily: What a weird co-in-ky-dink.
Robby: You guys are smooth.
- Marty: And look, there's handsome, young Jackson. And pretty, little Miley, who I have not spoken to or had contact with in any way whatsoever... especially on the phone.
Miley: It's okay, Marty. He knows I called you.
Marty: Good, 'cause I'm a terrible liar.
- Robby: (politely declining the services of Jackson's Swedish nannies) I'm sorry ladies. I appreciate this but this is not going to work out? Takker De all for å komme. [Thank you all for coming.] (to Miley) Robbie Ray was huge in Sweden.
Inga: Robby Ray!!
Helga: Honkytonk Heartthrob!
Uma: Ya! Ya!
- Miley: (on Jackson's nannies) One thing, you only had one thing to get.
Jackson: And I got three. Can I help it if I'm an overachiever?
- Miley: But nothing, "but" is a word you use when you're afraid to try. That's something I learned that from my Daddy.
Robby: Now you start listening to me.
- Robby: (to Jackson's would-be young Swedish nannies) Tack så mycket för kommande. (to Miley) Robby Ray was huge in Sweden.
- Roxy: Don't worry hot stuff. Roxy is going to take care of everything. You just go get your mullet back.
- Miley: Roxy was like this all night. (snores) Hi yah! (snores) Hi yah!
Oliver: Couldn't you tell her to lighten up?!
Miley: Oh sure I tell her to lighten up she gets upset and leaves Dad has to come home early and once again I ruined his dream.
Oliver: Why are we whispering?
Miley: Cause Roxy's everywhere! Cause she has HER EYE'S ON MEEE!
Oliver: Ok now your just paranoid. I don't see her anywhere.
Miley: Oh no? Hit me with this magazine.
Miley: Come on just do it. I'll be perfectly fine.
Oliver: Okay (almost hits her with the magazine)
Roxy: HAAYYAH!! (Throws Oliver back)
Roxy: Roxy's everywhere!!
- Miley: Roxy, I didn't think that the Marines did yoga!
Roxy: Oh, I didn't learn this in the Corps. Mm-mmm. I learned it when I was touring India with world famous cellist, Yo-Yo Ma. He calls me his Yo-Yo Mama.
- Jackson: 5 days? I can't take 5 more minutes. (sings) I want my Daddy back!
- Roxy: You kids sure must love your Dad if you're willing to do six more weeks of ROXY time.
- Miley: I'm sorry.
Robby: For what? For crying? Hey, if you don't want me to go, just say so.
Miley: Daddy, you gave up your whole life so I could have my dream. How can I stop you from having yours?
Robbie: You kids are my dream. I didn't give up my career because I had to. I gave it up because I wanted to.
- Maddie: Mom, quick! Get the curlers out of your hair! Robbie Ray is still here! Aah!!
Roxy: Too close, candy girl! Aaah!! (chases Maddie off).