The Adventures of Pete & Pete
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- "Did I ever tell you guys your the best family I know? I mean I'm making great time, I'm traveling with a great family....hey what do u say we do something special and make a pit stop! Bug juice on the house, and well even break out the paper plates!- Don Wrigley adressing his family in "King of the Road"
- "You always see the truth in the shine." - Cecil Tucker (Pete and Pete)
- "9 o'clock, and all is pipe!" Artie
- "Hey a hot lather machine huh? Woo woo woo ingenius!"- little pete talking shit during "field of dreams"
- "This is so much better than underpants… I used to look at all the flaws in the world and I'd think 'If I could make one thing perfect…', and then I did - underpants" ~ Inspector 34
- "Passengers will refrain from KILLING MY SOUL!" ~ Bus Driver Stu Benedict
- "Artie! The strongest man... in the world!" ~ Artie, The Strongest Man in the World
- "I am the Doctor of Death, and I have come to cure you of your life." ~ Endless Mike Hellstrom
- Older Pete Wrigley: I'll give you anything you want. You can destroy anything in the house, tear up the yard, anything.
- Endless Mike Hellstrom: Anything?
- Older Pete Wrigley: [thoughtfully] Anything.
- Endless Mike Hellstrom: You got any... Neopolitan ice cream? [Older Pete nods] Good, Wrigley. Good
- "Carrot-top Judas... THOU HAST FORSAKEN ME!" ~ Bus Driver Stu Benedict
- "Pipe!" ~ Artie, The Strongest Man in the World
- "Oohh sweet dark, sweet dark...the stars, don't you remember the stars? Oh the twinkly stinkly smelly belly stars"- Artie, in "the rangeboy"
- "C'mon Pete, we gotta kill Bob while he's still alive!" ~ Don Wrigley
- Park Ranger Thorsen: You got a license for that tattoo, son? [Young Pete shows him a license]
- Young Pete Wrigley: Read it and weep, fungus-lick!
- "Hey, Blowhole, wherever you are, in forty-five minutes I'm going to be famous. And you know what you're going to be? A blowhole!" ~ Little Pete Wrigley
- "If you're gonna change something, I said change something that matters." - Little Pete Wrigley
- "I just wanted to change the world but after a whole year of trying the only thing i changed was my underpants." - Little Pete Wrigley
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