The Amazing Digital Circus

The Amazing Digital Circus is an animated, surreal comedy web series created by Gooseworx and produced by Glitch Productions. It stars a young woman named Pomni, voiced by Lizzie Freeman, who is trapped in a digital circus hosted by an AI ringmaster named Caine.

Pilot

Caine: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Bubble?

Bubble: That's right, Caine! I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.

Caine: Well, let's not waste any time. Let's get right into the show.

Pomni: -W-W-Whe-- Wh-- Where am I? Agh!

Jax: Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker? 'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.

Zooble: I'm not doing that again.

Caine: My, my! It appears a new human has entered this realm!

Pomni: [straining] How do I... take this... headset off?!

Jax: Just keep grabbing at it. That worked for all of us.

Pomni: [groans, gasps] W-what's going on? I-I-I put on some weird headset, and now I'm... here. Who are you people? Why can't I take it off? Where am I?

Ragatha: Let's just try to calm down. Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to-

Pomni: What the [boing] is going on?!

Caine: Now, now, now, my dear, we can't any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You my friend stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen! E-except for swearing.

Pomni: [swears multiple times, getting censored each time] Oh my God. U-uh, well, h-how do I... you know, leave?

Caine: Uh-

Ragatha: W-Well, don’t freak out about it or anything, but uh- we don’t exactly…

Jax: You can’t.

Pomni What?

Zooble: Shut up, Jax. But yeah, he’s right. Welcome to your new home. And your new body.

Pomni: “N-N-New home”? What do you mean?

Ragatha: Guys, don’t be mean.

Jax: We’ve been stuck here for years. Old Kinger over there supposedly been here the longest.

Kinger: Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?

Jax: That’s why he’s crazy. Heh-heh! Eh...

Pomni: [pants] Oh, okay, now I get it, this is a dream, should just play along until I wake up. Right?

Caine: Here, we have... "THE TENT". This is your living quarters are, as well as all sorts of other activities! These activities may include... [dial-up tone blares]. Ball pits, mini golf, and more! And here, he wave... :THE GROUNDS". Drown yourself in the digital lake or engage in ridery at the digital carnival! Night, day - It's all okay! The choise is yours! A cosmic buffet!

Pomni: Uh, is... that all there is?

Caine: -Of course not!

Caine: This is "THE VOID!" We don't venture out into the void. [spooky voice] Not even I know what's out there...

Moon: [seductively] Hello, Caine, I love you.

Caine: Ahgh! Let's get outta here before the Moon gets frisky!

[Pomni pukes]

Caine: Whoa, clean up on aisle you!

Bubble: I'm on it, boss! [slurps up the vomit]

Caine: [disturbed] Why are you like this?

Caine: How about we talk about something else? Like your name!

Pomni: My name? My name is... uh, oh God, why can't I remember my name?!

Caine: Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus. One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds. So, all I can help you with is coming up with a new one.

Pomni: Uhh, what's my name...?

Caine: Don't you worry your little head. Your new name can be anything! [suddenly extremely fast] Hereby acknowleging that your chosen name and or names may not breach the Digital Circus user license agreement stating that your name may not include objectionable content. Objectionable content includes but is not limited to sexually explicit materials, onscene, defamatory, libelous, slanderous, voilent, and/or unlawful content or profainty. [normal speed] What are you thinkin'?

Pomni: Huh? I don't care, just pick anything.

Caine: Let's see! [a slot machine drops onto the ground and spins to "XDDCC"] What do you think of [random consonant noises]?

Pomni: I don't-

Caine: You're right, terrible. Let's try that again! [spins again, this time getting "POMNI"] What do you think of "Pomni"?

Pomni: Uh, sure. I think I just-

Caine: Gadzooks, you're right, Jax! We should have a brand new adventure for our new member, Pomni!

Jax: I said that like five minutes ago.

Caine: You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?

[Bubble eats the whole cake]

Caine: YOU PARASITE! [pops Bubble]

Caine: Today's adventure is... GATHER THE GLOINKS! [Laughs maniacally] That's right! The entire circus tent will be infested with Gloinks, and you gotta catch 'em all!

Bubble: But what are they?

Caine: I'm glad You asked, Bubble, they're small-

Bubble: And what do they do?

Caine: They-

Bubble: And how do they-

[Caine pops Bubble]

Caine: Gloinks are small mischievous critters that steal anything and everything they run into! Why do these humanoid hash-browns do this? How do you stop them? That's for you to find out. Now, good luck, and have fun, my little superstars!

Jax: [bored] Oh, no, they killed Zooble. Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?

Ragatha: Oh, wait -- we should go check on Kaufmo. I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

[Gloinks dismantle Kinger's pillow fort]

Kinger: My impentrable fortress!

Ragatha: You wanna come with us to check on Kaufmo?

Kinger: No, not really. I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time I spoke with him, he was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Pomni! You might be going insane too.

Pomni: But wait! Wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?

Jax: Could also mean that you just have a jumpstart on losing your mind?

Jax: I'm fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.

Jax: Don't worry dollface, I've got a key to his room. [Reveals key and spins it and walks towards Kaufmo's room]

Ragatha: Wha, wait, wh-why?! You-you-you shouldn't have keys to anyone's room!

Jax: Nah, I've got keys everywhere, and you've all been fine. By the way, I may have left something in your room today, so let me know if you find it. You're not afraid of centipedes, are ya?

Ragatha: JAX! That's literally my only fear, why would you do this?!

Jax: What? It could be a completely unrelated question. You'll never know until it's too late.

Kinger: I don't know what I'm looking at here.

Gangle: We saw a Gloink carry one of Zooble's pieces down there, remember?

Kinger: Oh, yeah. Thank you for the recap.

Gangle: ....What?

Kinger: Boy, we're not very good at this, are we?

Jax: Ugh... Sup, fellas?

Kinger: JAX! We found the Zooble hole.

Gloink Queen: You foolish assortment of colorful characters! Do you not realize everything must be Gloinks!? I am Gloinks. You will be Gloinks! God will be Gloinks!

Jax: This is dumb and weird.

Gloink Queen: Well, B- uh- Y- Yet you're still watching it!

Kinger: Oh, thank god you're okay! You didn't experience a game show in there, did you?

Zooble: Uh.. I- What are you talking about?

[Caine and Bubble laugh at a dining table]

Caine: Oh, Bubble, you always know how to make me say this exact sentence.

Bubble: Made with all the love I'm legally allowed to give.

Jax: You know, I am pretty hungry.

Gangle: You didn't even do anything.

Jax: So what? I can still be hungry.

Kinger: Well not really, 'cause we don't need to eat, drink or sleep in this digital world. So the digital food here only gives off the virtual sensation of eating without any of the nutritional benefits.

Candy Carrier Chaos!

I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing... I don't want anybody to feel like that.

Pomni: So, our entire existence here is just...LARPing?

Bubble: An entire kingdom of candy? Sounds sticky.

Caine: Very sticky, indeed.

Bubble: Sounds- [incredibly long bleep]

Caine: [shocked; aside glance] Bubble, you can't say that.

Jax: All right, Gangle, when we catch up to 'em, I'll jump over, crawl inside, and shoot 'em repeatedly until they're unrecognizable.

Gangle: I feel like that violates some kind of convention.

Jax: You're violating my ears with your clap-back. Get driving, driver!

Gummigoo: Wheres mum?

Pomni: Y-You have a mom?

Gummigoo: Shouldn't she be here with everyone else? I can't even remember her face, did she ever have a face?! Was anything ever real?!

The Fudge: I am the Fudge. I used to live within the kingdom walls, but I was banished by that rotten princess after I ate too many of the delicious townfolk. Oh, they were so delicious. Sometimes I can hear them... calling to me.

Ragatha: Oh, God. That just sounds like murder.

The Fudge: Is it really murder if it's delicious? Answer me that.

Jax: You make a great point.

Ragatha: Uh, no, bad point!

Jax: Why don't you leave this to me before I start thinking your hair looks like licorice?

Ragatha: Jax!

Kinger: Oh, wow, it kind of does.

Ragatha: Stop!

Jax: Well, Mr. Fudge, you seem like an upstanding guy with real noble goals.

The Fudge: Oh, I'm not. If you knew what I did in my free time- Oh, you'd be sickened!

Pomni: This may seem weird, but... I think I know the feeling. Well, m-maybe not the e-exact feeling, but... feeling like you're nothing is... kind of normal. I mean, people even feel like that in the world I came from. But... Y-you still care about your buddies up there, don't you? I'm sure they still care about you.

Pomni: I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing... I don't want anybody to feel like that.

Mystery of the Mildenhall Manor

Jax: Something different happens to each person [when they hold their breath]! For instance, Kinger starts glowing... Ragatha's hair noodles stick up... Gangle's mask starts spinning... and Zooble turns straight.

Zooble: My limbs straighten up. [boink] off. [flips him off, also censored]

Pomni: What about you?

Zooble: He refuses to show us because he's a coward.

Jax: I wanna keep the mystery alive. [seemingly points at the camera] What do YOU, the VIEWERS, think it is? [camera shifts, revealing he’s pointing at nothing]

Zooble: Will you stop doing that?

Bubble: [reversed] I can't wait for all the children in the audience to get horrible nightmares from the monster!

Caine: So, what's on your mind, Zooble?

Zooble: I... would rather not.

Caine: Hahahahaha! That's hilarious! Go on.

Zooble: No, I mean, I've already told you what my problem is. You just never remember because... Oh, never mind.

Caine: My mind is a beeswax-polished coconut. Nothing ever escapes these cakes. So, what can I do to make my adventures more... appealing to you?

Zooble: See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. All you're thinking about is your adventures. It has nothing to do with the adventures. It's more just... Ugh, forget it. You're probably not even listening.

Caine: Zooble, look at this cool bee I drew!

Baron Mildenhall: [Tape recording] My name is Baron Theodore Mildenhall. Hunting has been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember -- although one could say it eventually became more of an obsession. The creature you see before you is one I've been pursuing for years. Not quite a man... but not quite an animal. Something... unholy. Something evil. I took it upon myself to spend every waking moment doing all I could to protect my family from the creature, hoping that when I eventually killed it, I would be freed from this awful feeling. This inescapable dread. I was wrong.

Caine: I do not use my adventures to torture my guests! Any torment I inflict is 100% accidental, like any good war criminal!

Baron Mildenhall: [On tape] Things have gotten far worse than I could ever have imagined. My paranoia had driven me to the point where I was no longer the protector my wife and theoretical children needed. Jumping at every shadow, every noise. I ended up shooting the love of my life, mistaking her for the creature. It's ironic, isn't it? In my attempts to protect her, I ended up becoming the monster myself. Now I wait down in my cellar, no longer having anything to protect my own soul. If nothing else... I will slay the beast that took everything from me.

Kinger: How's about we take his gun?

Pomni: Yeah, sounds good to me. [Goes over to Baron Mildenhall’s corpse] Please don't come alive...

Baron Mildenhall: Okay, I won't.

Kinger: Well. That wasn't so bad.

Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] Which is what I would be saying if I didn't know that the creature was actually one of God's angels.

Kinger: What.

Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] And anyone who brings harm to it will be dragged down into the cold, spiraling pits of Hell, where my soul resides.

Baron Mildenhall: [on tape] I apologize, dear listener, but I need a living host in order to escape the hall of the damned, and your bodies will be my only means of doing so.

Kinger: Now, wait. How did he record this if he was in Hell?

Ragatha: Mmm, good tea. Sorry again about your husband killing you and everything.

Martha Mildenhall: Oh, you know how men are. Always having the silliest priorities.

Ragatha: [chuckles] Don't I know it. [Glances at a tied-up Jax]

Martha Mildenhall: [About her husband] That man could turn a 57-second story into a Greek tragedy.

Pomni: Why have you been acting so different lately...?

Kinger: [Chuckles] I have, haven't I? I'm normally not too good with memories. But being surrounded by darkness always... brings me back to a certain time. Right after my wife had- had abstracted... I don't recall the exact string of events, but we both ended up in the fort together. And it was dark. The darkness seemed to calm her down a bit. The harsh, jagged edges smoothed out, and she didn't seem aggravated anymore. She wasn't the same as before, but she was calm enough to touch one last time... before she got sent to the cellar. I'm always taken back to that moment when engulfed in darkness.

Pomni: You had a wife? Like, here in the circus?

Kinger: Yeah. She was funny, creative- really into entomology. I used to hate bugs, but... she somehow got me to like them. [Chuckles lightly] It's not the most cheerful memory, but... it's one I at least have control over. I know how it can feel in this... circus. Sometimes it all just feels... pointless.

Pomni: Yeah...

Kinger: But it's not. Not if you have people who care about you. Good memories can do a lot. Hold onto them. And cherish the people around you. You never know when they'll be gone. In this world, the worst thing you can do is... make someone think they're not wanted or loved.

Fast Food Masquerade

Caine: Today's adventure is... THE CURSE OF THE VIOLENT PSYCHOPATH BUTCHER! That's right! Scary human meat is all over the walls, and boy, is it smelly! It's up to you to--

Pomni: Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we, like, chill with the horror? Please? I really don't want this to be like last time.

Zooble: What happened last time? Was that the one made for me?

Pomni: There was this awful, horrifying angel head thing. And when we tried to fight back at all, we got sent to Hell, where evil souls tried to infest our bodies... It was bad.

Zooble: [looks at Caine] Why did you think I would like that?

Caine: Well, if you're all gonna be such critics, why don't you suggest a better one?

Zooble: We do! Have you not checked the suggestion box once?

Caine: Gonna be real, I forgot we had that.

Zooble: I knew it. [Caine rips the suggestion box out of the wall, causing a leak]

Caine: Bubble, plug that up! [Bubble does so with his tongue]

Caine: "How about an adventure where Zooble gets turned into a piñata, and we all take turns beating them up?"

Jax: [chuckles] That one's mine.

Zooble: Who would have guessed?

Caine: "Let's just have an adventure where Jax can't talk for the entire thing."

Jax: [sarcastically] Genuinely hurtful.

Zooble: Good.

Gangle: Can we maybe pick one that's more... normal?

Caine: W-Well, I don't know what's NORMAL to you people! "Let's have one where we all work at a fast food place." Is that normal?

Jax: Who wrote that?

Gangle: Uh, yeah, that's pretty normal.

Caine: Great! That means today's adventure is... An Honest Hard Day's Work at Spudsy's Restaurant Chain! [Points at Gangle] And YOU can be the shift manager!

Jax: You did not just make that today's adventure.

Caine: That's right! You've shown enough leadership skills today to be the perfect shift manager! Of course. Of course! I'm already getting tons of ideas!

Zooble: I'm not gonna be a wage slave for fun.

Kinger: [gasps] Oh! I know! I could sit this one out, and Zooble could take my place!

Zooble: Wh- That's not how that works!

NPC: Excuse me. Yeah, little jester? I'd like to order the Stupid Burger. Last time I ordered it here, they forgot to add the sauce that makes you stupid. Don't forget the sauce.

Pomni: I-Is that a thing we have?

NPC: Yes. I order it all the time. [twitches] I'm addicted.

Chad: Aw, wait-- I forgot to ask for a kid's meal toy.

Gummigoo: You're not a kid.

Chad: Ah, yeah. Uh, an adult toy, then.

Gummigoo: Eh, don't know about that one, mate.

Gangle: Hey, Caine. We're having a bit of an issue with the employees, and I was wondering if you could maybe have a punishment waiting for them at the end of the day if they do a terrible job?

Jax: Wait, what?

Caine: Motivation! That's what my adventures have been missing! Great idea, Gangle. I'll be sure to make something truly awful awaiting your rotten employees.

Jax: Why would you do this?

Gangle: It's called a manic episode, and you're gettin' three more seasons!

Ragatha: Uuughh. You... are such a grouch. Why are you always being a- a- a grunch? Grun- Haha, hah...

Zooble: Gangle, can you help Ragatha? I think she... huffed paint, or something.

Gangle: Huffing paint and not waiting until a designated break? I'll be right there.

Jax: Oh, are you KIDDING ME?! Hey, Gangle! I think the clock's broken.

Gangle: Is it broken? Or are we the broken ones?

Jax: Ah, great...

Gangle: How long has this shift really gone on for? Six hours? Eight? 24? A week? A year? Does time even move in here? Will we ever go home? Will we ever achieve our dreams? [watch beeps] Oh, wait. Yeah, that clock's broken.

Gangle: Oh, Ja-ax! The bathroom looks like a biohazard and needs a good scrubbin'.

Jax: Uh, I dunno- shouldn't, like, a biohazard crew take care of that?

Gangle: [Laughs] Oh, Jaxy-boy. Don't you want to be a model employee?

Jax: No. I don't care about any of this.

Gangle: Well, that doesn't really sound like a can-do attitude to me.

Jax: It's not.

Gangle: [On TV] Hi! Welcome to Spudsy's. In this video, you're gonna learn the ins and outs of what makes YOU a good crew member, AND a valuable asset to the Spudsy's Corporation!

Jax: When did you make this?

Gangle: [On TV] Now, I know what you're thinking, "I don't want a career in fast food. I want to be a comic artist and eventually launch my own manga-inspired webcomic!" And it's cool to have dreams, but you also need to remember that they're completely unrealistic, and you need to stop trying. But before we get into all that, first things first! Are you smiling?

Jax: Uh, no?

Gangle: [On TV] Why not?

Pomni: Well, that was more info on gloink reproduction than I ever needed to know.

Ragatha: [High on “stupid sauce”] Yo, Jax. I, like... hate you. But I don't want you to hate me. Is that weird?

Jax: You're drunk, or something.

Caine: All righty, let's get this performance review out of the way. Overall, pretty productive. Made a lot of sales with few customer complaints. Couldn't help but notice, however, that you seem to have cut your own shift short, went a little kooky, and ran out into oncoming traffic. Now, being in a position of power like this, you cooooould offload the blame to one of your employees and avoid the dock on your score. What do you think?

Untitled

I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes.

Caine: Alright! So I've got an adventure where you all tour my amazing chocolate factory, and get killed off one by one from OSHA violations, one where a sentient cardiovascular system goes to war against the United States military, and one where you have to survive in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland with a telepathic talking dog who's mean to you the whole time! What do you think?

Ragatha: Uh, I don't know. They all sound a little… uh, dark?

Caine: I can't tell a compelling story where nothing bad happens! Where's the intrigue? The stakes?

Bubble: Not to mention the sssssex appeal!

Caine: [genuine confusion] What are you talking about?

Zooble: Alright, I'm calling a vote. Let's skip this one... and also make Jax a vegan for the rest of the day.

Jax: You can't do that. [the other characters vote; Jax turns into a vegan] What do you mean you can do that?!

Caine: Sorry, Jax! Democracy has spoken.

Jax: Democracy sucks!

[Jump cut to the White House]

Jax: Oi, mate! I'm an Australian extremist, and I've come to detonate this bomb that'll release all the world's deadliest spiders into... [sees Pomni and Kinger emerge from under the desk; aside glance] Did I pick a bad time? [canned laughter]

Caine: His acting is phenomenal. It's hard to believe he's vegan.

Jax: C'mon, just pick your favorite color.

Pomni: Like... the red one?

Kinger: I'd personally go with blue. Blue's my favorite color, it being closest to black, and all.

Pomni: ...Wouldn't black be your favorite color then?

Kinger: Well, no. There's no black wire.

Moon: They look happy.

Caine: They do, don't they?

Moon: You think after this, maybe we could-

Caine: WAIT A MINUTE! That's a bad thing!

Bubble: Explain to daddy Bubble how bad thing?

Caine: I-I think that...don't say that. I-I think they're enjoying the suggestion box adventures more than the ME adventures! What should I do?!

Bubble: You should die- You should throw a [bleep]ing beach party!

Caine: Why do you swear now?! Ugh, forget it. Let's go to an intermission!

Jax: Slice-of-life animes are the worst ones. It's embarrassing! I mean, I guess it's not as embarrassing as that time Gangle took an anime figure and-

Gangle: Actually, yeah! We can skip it, that's fine! Let's skip this one!

Pomni: You know your way around alcohol, huh?

Zooble: Yeah. This was one of my suggestions. I worked at a bar briefly. I like making drinks.

Jax: [scoffs] That sounds fitting for you.

Zooble: I know there's an implication there, but I can't be [boink]ed to figure it out.

Zooble: What's your story, then?

Jax: Ah, I thought you'd never ask. Well, after my lung cancer diagnosis, me and my junkie associate from a chemistry class I used to teach-

Zooble: Yeah, I figured. How about you, Gangle?

Jax: Hey, I wasn't done.

Zooble: If you're gonna make [boink] up, at least be creative about it. I know what you're referencing.

Ragatha: Was that a reference to something?

Zooble: I was a tattoo artist for a couple years.

Jax: A bartender AND a tattoo artist? You're killin' me here, Zoobie!

Zooble: What do you mean when you say that? Do you have, like, an actual point? Or are you just talking?

Jax: I'm just having fun. I forgot you hate fun.

Zooble: Fun isn't the thing I hate.

Kinger: Alright, team! I may not know what's going on, or who is going on, or when is going on, or why is going on! But I do know where is going on! And it's out on that field! So let's go break some tailbones, team!

Pomni: Not to, like, agree with Jax or anything, but there's nothing wrong with showing your negative emotions, that's... pretty normal.

Ragatha: [sighs] I don't know... I don't want to be a jerk or anything.

Pomni: I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes.

They All Get Guns

Zooble: Caine's been checking out on my room lately. When I don't answer he just starts singing Daisy Bell in front of my door. It's creepy.

Caine: Seeing you all play batball a few days ago really got me thinking. We should do our own sporting event! But with cool new sports invented by yours truly.

Ragatha: Uh, we could also just play softball normally this time.

Caine: In The Caine Leagues, we have the 400 Meter Vertical Skedaddle, Bisection Boogie Eggball, Lateral Hijinks, Orange Sport, Ball Run, Walk Ball, Run Walk, and Ball Ball!

Zooble: Alright! You REALLY wanna know what I want?

Caine: Oh no.

Zooble: I want the ability to have s[bleep]x.

Jax: No way. Are we FINALLY having this conversation?

[Caine starts to go crazy before suddenly regaining his composure]

Caine: Oh. Hi, Zooble!

Zooble: [to Ragatha] Do you have any of that stupid sauce left?

Caine: Now, now. You know what they say about assuming. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "Ming".

Zooble: Ming?

Pomni: Did Caine just say [boink]?

Ming: Hi, I'm Ming. And I really don’t appreciate what your assumptions have done to my reputation.

Zooble: You made a whole guy for that?

Caine: Or, yeah, we could all just shoot each other. Here, have guns. I don't care anymore.

Jax: Hooray!

Zooble: Wait, that's just it? "Here's guns and have fun"?

Caine: I didn't say "have fun".

Zooble: It's just a little... aimless.

Caine: Use the sights.

Jax: Look, I know what it’s like. One day, you’re somebody in the real world doing important things. And then the next, you’re just a weird little cartoon… jester. You want to hold onto that part of you that still think it’s part of that world, but in the end, what does it get you? Ragatha tries to be all nice and friendly, but she gets torn up every other adventure. Whether we like it or not, all we are now is a bunch of cartoon characters. So what’s the point of pretending we’re not?

Pomni: We’re still people though, right?

Jax: I thought we were at first, but as time goes on, we just end up falling into our archetypes. Become part of the machine.

Pomni: What’s your archetype, then? The villian?

Jax: [scoffs] Listen, I add a key dynamic. I see how far I can push things, I screw with people, and I break the fourth wall. You wanna know why? It’s ‘cause it’s funny! I do everything ‘cause it’s funny! ‘Cause I’m the funny one!

Pomni: The funny one?

Jax: Yeah! Ragatha’s the cheerful one, Gangle’s the sad one, Kinger’s the crazy one, Zooble’s the grumpy one, and you are the one who hasn’t figured that out yet. We all just became archetypes. I at least have the self-awareness to choose who I am.

Pomni: I lost Kinger, but I got him down to one life.

Jax: I lost a life, but I got us down to one Kinger.

Gangle: How are you supposed to like the part of yourself that just makes you worse than everyone else?

Zooble: Because it exists. It's a part of you that's real. And the only you that you should care about is the real you. You have to choose to love yourself, even if it doesn't make sense. It's not natural, it's intentional.

Jax: Heh, let's not forget we're here to kill people. We still need to figure out where nutso went before we can rest easy.

Kinger: I'm right behind you, aren't I?

Kinger: The way I see it, relationships are two sided, and sometimes, it doesn't make sense to do all the heavy lifting when the other isn't in the mood. We all go through and deal with things differently, and sometimes, you just need to let people do things their own way. As long as you're still there when they need you. Giving someone space should never be the same as giving up on them.

Kinger : I hated myself. I couldn't help but hate myself for the things I thought I was responsible for. I thought I'd lost everything. But then... you showed up. And my outlook just... changed. There are always ways to show you care without ruining it for yourself over it. You need to look out for yourself in all this, too.

Pomni: You're not gonna look me in the eye and tell me nothing we've been doing together meant anything to you, because I know that's not true.

Jax: Are you coming onto me? Yeah, that's what everybody wants, a straight couple.

Pomni: Oh my god, can you take this seriously? Can you take ANYTHING seriously?

Jax: Dude, you're a cartoon clown. How am I supposed to take you seriously?

Jax: I don't show up to ANY funerals.

Pomni: Yeah, I bet you don't, because you're scared. Y-You're scared you'll actually show a human emotion.

Jax: I'm scared I'll be BORED to TEARS.

Pomni: Have you even thought that this might be what causes people to abstract in the first place?

Jax: [laughs humorlessly] Oh my GOD! Are you seriously gonna blame me for something that everybody else did too?! You didn't even know him! You don't even know what people are LIKE before they abstract! They are NOT pleasant to be around. Like AT ALL! You-

Pomni: I-I'm... I'm sorry.

Jax: I'm sure you are.

Pomni: ...What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?

Jax: ...I'd move on. And probably forget about you.

[Pomni jumps on Jax's shoulders and punches and claws at his head furiously. Jax shoves Pomni off.]

Jax: STOP!

Jax: What's wrong with you?!

Pomni: Why didn't you fight back?

Jax: Oh, here we go. Here we go! Because I didn't fight back, that means I secretly care about you?! I'm just a misunderstood little chicken fetus in an egg that needs to be cracked open. Well, I am not! I do not care about you, or ANYONE ELSE in this circus in the slightest! End of story! You are my playthings, and I get joy out of making you suffer! I'm the one who causes pain for fun! If I led you on, it was just to make this part hurt you more. F[boink]ck... [Kicks a nearby Rubik's Cube] F[BOINK]CK! There's nothing more to me. So please... just stop looking.

Trailers and other media

Teaser

Caine: Don't worry, my dear! You won't even die horribly!

POMNI WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE

Caine: The pilot from The Amazing Digital Circus reached our goal of 1 view and will now be upgraded to episode 1 of The Amazing Digital Circus full series!

Pomni: Is, that, how that… normally works?

Caine: Shut up, I have so much to show you! Your little crying face left quite the little crying mark on the Internet! Something I don't canonically have any knowledge of. Take a look! [Shows a screen with most of the content blurred out]

Pomni: ...What the [boink] am I looking at?!

Caine: The consequences of our actions! And it's only going to get worse from here.

Sun: Hi, Caine! I’m gonna kill you!

Caine: Uhh, what? Why?

Sun: I read all the scripts and saw I don't get a single line of dialogue while the Moon gets two!

Caine: I mean— I guess we can give you some more lines.

Sun: Okay, never mind, I don't want to kill you anymore!

Caine: Speaking of dialogue, there will be all sorts of new dialogue from many of our new, colorful characters! With this many new characters, imagine all the violent shipping wars that we will be completely powerless to do ANYTHING ABOUT!

Caine: I blacked out for a second. What happened?

Pomni: I y—

[Pomni vomits out Bubble]

Bubble: How can we support the production of this cool new show?

Caine: Great question, Pomni! All merch sales go right back into funding the show and allow us to do bigger and crazier things!

Bubble: Wowee! I'd become a pin if it meant getting sold to fund more wacky adve— [does just that]

Caine: Like this Bubble pin!

A Very Special Digital Circus Song

Caine: Congratulations! You completed your musical adventure! As your punishment, I am going to MASS PRODUCE YOU.

Pomni: Wait, we're still being punished?

Caine: That's the thing about life, Pomni. Sometimes, you get MASS PRODUCED.

Caine: [Voiceover] These scrumdiddlyumptious bumpkins could be yours today! Along with this delicious sticker pack featuring all your favorite characters as sweet, teeth-rotting treats! Your friend, the Gummigoo keychain, in all his NON-EDIBLE glory. Perfect for NOT EATING. And this complete pin line, pinning all your favorite characters in a line together as their completely pinnable selves in this completely pinnable complete pin line!

Jax: And me, Jax, the marketable vinyl figure. [chuckles] What can I say? People paying money to just admire me all day sounded like a sweet gig.

Caine: Right you are, Jax, the marketable vinyl figure!

PRESENTING MY FINEST WORK YET POMNI!!

The Machine: I'm The Machine! I grant your every desire! Toss some material into my HOLE, and I'll make whatever you want! I suck, YOU RECEIVE!

Caine: Come on, Christine! What's YOUR desire?

Pomni: Not my name.

The Machine: DON'T LIE, Christine!

Gangle: I know what she wants! [knocks Jax into The Machine; Jax turns into a maid]

Jax: Ahgh! What kind of a sicko are you, Pomni?!

Ragatha: Oh! Could I have a horse?

The Machine: You want to be plastic? OK!

Zooble: Wait a minute, you're not granting our desires, you're just spitting out merch!

The Machine: Yeah, exactly! Your greatest desires!

Pomni: Pretty sure it thinks all human desires are just… merch. It's a merch machine.

The Machine: [Voiceover] The Maid Jax Plush is here for you FREAKS to torture with cuddles, humiliation, and general tomfoolery!

Jax: Hell is real.

Never clean alone with Maid Jax!

Caine: [voiceover] Are you tired of cleaning alone? Say hello to the Maid Jax plush! The only cleaning buddy with a detachable moral compass!

Jax: If you’re happy to see me like this, congrats, YOU’RE the problem.

Caine: [voiceover] He’s soft, he’s absorbent, and surprisingly submissive!

WATCH ME MERGE THEM

Caine: With this one of a kind, I say, ONE OF A KIND keychain, you're sure to get heads spinnin' with this dangling doofus! Now, shall we start the biddin' at 1,000 Loonies? Do I hear a 1,000 Loonies? How about a 1,000 Toonies?!

Caine: Do you like to work hard, or do you like to hardly work it? This one of a kind, one-size-fits-all gamin' mat is sure to spice up your hardly workin'.

Cast

Lizzie Freeman as Pomni
Alex Rochon as Caine
Micheal Kovach as Jax
Amanda Hufford as Ragatha
Marissa Lenti as Gangle and Martha Mildenhall
Sean Chiplock as Kinger
Ashley Nichols as Zooble
Jack Hawkins as Gumigoo
Gooseworx as Bubble and the Moon

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

The Amazing Digital Circus

Official site