The Andy Milonakis Show

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The Andy Milonakis Show is an American sketch comedy show starring Andy Milonakis, which aired on MTV2 during 2005–2007.

The Theme Song Lyrics session 3[edit]

L.A. that's how I roll son I gotta new shirt and a brand new stroll son It is crazy hot 5 million degrees I'm praying on my knees just to get a little breeze
Forget about Bs I got Qs on my head
And all the other letters take a cruise on my head
Bruce Lee's chilling reading news on my head
And a moosey is punchin' a bruise in my head
Damn Skippy I moved to California!
Brand new show but yo I got to warn ya
If you carrot me then you know I'm gonna corn ya
Your footsie is stuck well I'll shoe-horn ya
I'm Andy Milonakis and this is me show!
After me flow you know me got to go
Got this L.A. sun from my New York snow
And the schmell schmay schmun for my shmoo shmork shmo

The Theme Song Lyrics[edit]

I rock peas on my head but don't call me a pea head!
Bees on my head but don't call me a bee head!
Bruce Lees on my head but don't call me a Lee head!
Now please excuse me; I gotsta get my tree fed.
You wear name brands and I make my own clothing.
I hang out with an apple who loves self-loathing. ("I hate myself!")
Pancake on my face makes me extra happy.
I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy!
'Cause its my show you can't tell me what to do;
When life hands me lemons, I make beef stew!
So, yo, I gotta go, its time for me to rock it!
I put balogna in my left pocket;
Smear some cream cheese in my gold locket
'Cause its my show; I'm Andy Milonakis
It’s my show; I’m Shmandy Shmila-Shmakis.
It’s my show; I’m Andy Milonakis!

Message quotes[edit]

  • Andy: I have no soul.
    Man: I don't have one either.
  • Larry: Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead.
    Dinosaur: Shut the **** up!!!!!
    Larry: Aah! (runs away)
  • (bearded man quacks to Andy and cashier)
    Duck: Shut the **** up!!!
    Bearded Man: I just wanted to fit in!
  • Snoop Dogg: I'm the real ************* Snoop Do Double G! Who is this fat, red jumpsuited --
    Larry: Why don't you just shut up, Andy? No one wants to hear what you want to say.
    Snoop Dogg: What'd you call me? (smacks Larry in the face)
    Henry: Dammit, im bored.
    Andy: (laughing) You smacked him!
    Snoop Dogg: Yeah, I did smack him. You get one too! (smacks Andy in the face)
  • Andy: ****!(crying)

  • Man: What the hell you looking at?

Andy: Are you at the end of every rainbow?

Man: Yes.

Andy: Wow. Rainbows suck.

Man: No shit!

Andy: Well... where's the pot of gold?

Man: I have some hard candy and Bengay.

Andy: Yay! Bengay! I love Bengay!

[rubs bengay on his shirt]

Andy: Oh! It hurts so good!

Man: You stupid *****!

  • aaliyahs end song

Yo the show is OVER so I gotta go SON. (Son!)

Go eat a PORK SANDWICH on a STICKY BUN. (Sticky Bun)

Thanks for STOPPIN' BY its been lots of FUN.

Gonna slap a GOOSE NECK now I'm on the run. (Run!)

Don't be sad cause I promise to come back.

I promise to rhyme tight and never ever wack.

I use old rap slang and call myself the mack.

I rock peas on my head but a brain is what I lack.

So if you like what you saw then come back next week.

If you don't you're a dumb loser internet Geek. (Geek!)

I'm three parts crazy and two parts Greek.

Time to eat fetta cheese with my GRAPE LEAF BEAK!!! (Waaaaa!)

Season 3[edit]

  • Ralphie: The green thing and the hot lady is right, we're being rude!
    Andy: Peanutbutta slap!
  • Andy (typing into a typewriter): And zoom, the panda ate the sheriff's brain with a pair of chopsticks. And he was crowned the most beautiful animal in the whole room. The end.
  • The caption of Andy's submarine sangwhich: Arg! I am the submarine caption! [to the first mate] Fire the torpedo, and take down the being!
    First mate: Eye caption, eye caption!
    (A torpedo hits Andy in the eye.)