The Animals of Farthing Wood (season 3)

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Seasons: 1 2 3 | Main

The following is a list of quotes from the third season of The Animals of Farthing Wood.

Coming's and Going's [3.01][edit]

Weasel: Oh, there you are Measley.
[Measley points to whats behind Weasel as Trey snorts]
Trey: If I hear you again, once, ever, I shall stomp on you. I don't. like. weasels.
Weasel: Pity for you I'm sure.
Trey: I don't like the noise they make. Weasels are nuisance makers. This is my park! So no noise, no nuisance. Better for you if I never see you again.
Measley: Actually um... my wife's in a delicate condition.
[Weasel laughs]
Trey: MORE WEASELS?! [snorts furiously as he prepares to stomp on them]
Weasel: Measley!!
[Measley dodges the stomp. Trey then begins chasing the weasels, who are screaming, waking Adder up]

Weasel: If you don't shut up, I'll... ooh!
Measley: Is it something I've said?
Weasel: Twerp!
Measley: Something I've done?
Weasel: Twerp, twerp, twerp!
Measley: Something I haven't done?

Fox: [as Plucky and Dash race] Once upon a time I was the fastest fox of them all. Now out of all the foxes in White Deer Park I'm the slowest.
Vixen: If it wasn't for you fox, there would be no red foxes left alive in White Deer Park to race Hares on a spring morning. Not to mention all the other animals. You've saved us all from one thing or another so many times.

Sinuous: I am Sinuous.
Adder: So am I.
Sinuous: No, no, no, no, no, it's my name, Sinuous.

Trey: If I hear you again, once ever, I shall stamp on you. I don't like weasels.
Weasel: Pity for you, I'm sure
Trey: I don't like the noise they make. Weasels are nuisance makers. This is my park. So no noise. No nuisance. Better for you if I never see you again!

Out and About [3.02][edit]

Measley: We'll be alright. I'll look after you all.
Weasel: That's what I'm worried about!

Leveret: I wasn't doing anything. Just eating grass on me usual hill. Then suddenly, there (Trey) was, saying "no grazing for hares" to me. "The grass is for the deer to eat and walk on", he says, "and for no-one else!".
Squirrel: He's nuts! Nuts!
Mossy: Mad as a March hare. Ooh, sorry there, Leveret.

Pig: [on being fat] I've got prizes for it.

Trey: It's not a good morning, in fact my whole day's ruined.
Friendly: Oh poor dear and why's that?
Trey: I've seen a weasel.
Friendly: You couldn't have, Weasel and Measley left White Deer Park months ago!
Trey: I mean you. Your a weasel.
Friendly: I'm a weasel?
Trey: I'm glad you admit it.
Friendly: Does a weasel have a bushy tail like this one?
Trey: As far as I'm concerned, anything that isn't a white deer is a weasel. That makes you a weasel.

Chief Bat: [to Owl] I know its not an owl as such but its a bird of some sort isn't it. It'll do you.

Plucky: What's the trouble?
Friendly: It's all my fault I'm a weasel!

Water, Water [3.03][edit]

Colonel Donk: What manner of obnoxious lifeform might this be?
Weasel: A delightful little family of weasels.
Colonel Donk: Weasels? Can't stand weasels, can I? But don't remember why. [Weasel Laughs] That's why! Clear off, go on, before I get nasty!

Hurkle: Oh, what a magnificent animal. I've never seen a more handsomous stag. Never ever.
Trey: Only deer can drink from this pond.
Hurkle: I am sorry, we, we didn't know. Sh, she'll only be a minute. Uh, don't worry, uh, we're your friends, uh, I'm your friend.
Trey: Stop drinking you ugly creature!
Hurkle: Shadow!
Plucky: Hiya Trey! Fancy another chase?
Trey: You again?

The Missing Fox's Friend [3.04][edit]

Rollo: I feel a howl coming on. May I?
Weasel: I'd rather you didn't.
Rollo: Can't help myself. I'm too happy! [howls]

Rollo: Come on now, sheeps. You shouldn't be at this end of the field.
Sheep #1: Why?
Sheep #2: Yes, why?
Rollo: Uh, because I say! I'm the sheepdog, you're the sheeps. What I say goes!
Sheep #1: Go and stick your head in a horse trough!

Toad: You said I was mad didn't you fox, because I'd said I'd seen rats.
Fox: I'm very sorry, Toad. Obviously your not mad.
Toad: I'm not mad! [laughs hysterically]

Tiffs and Tempers [3.05][edit]

Bully: Who am I? WHO AM I?!
Ranger: We don't care who you are. Get lost!

Hurkel: [to Trey] You're a big and handsome stag, oh yes. But you're the first animal I've ever met that I didn't like. Is that unkind, do you think?

Vixen: But he's a rat.
Spike: [to Toad] Long-Tailed personage.
Toad: He don't like to be called
Spike: Long-Tailed personage.
Toad: One of those.

Trey: You've a mole on your head. How disgusting.
Hurkel: Fox here and his friends have brought a great gift to this park. Their ideals are quite unique, you know. I'm sure if Fox and I explained it all to you in the kindness that lurks deep within your more obvious brutality...

Adventure For The Birds [3.06][edit]

Whistler: What can I do?
Vixen: Quite simple, Whistler. You can fly.
Whistler: Fly, yes. It's landing I have trouble with.

Moth-Eaten Rook: It's me.
Owl: I can see that.
Moth-Eaten Rook: Have a nightmare, did you?
Owl: I must have, yes.
Moth-Eaten Rook: Was I in it?
Owl: Yes!

Owl: Can it be? The Great Beech? That silly cat was right, this is Farthing Wood! I really am home, home at last.

Spike: I'm a long-tailed person, its official Fox says so.

Adder: Owl! Yes Owl. My old friend Owl, I do miss her. Look Sinuous I'm becoming emotional, can you tell?
Sinuous: No.

The Long Tailed Visitor [3.07][edit]

Fox: [about the rats] Remember, there's too many of them to make this an all-out fight. Just kill about... 6 each.
Ranger: 10!
Fox: 6! We'll come back again tomorrow night, and again the next, and again, and again, if necessary.
Ranger: I'm gonna kill ten!

Bully: Oh I am frightened. [laughs] Look here foxy face, I didn't come here to kill you this time. Just a nice friendly visit to tell you to clear off! You and your whole lot both clear off! You got it or else see!
Fox: We're not clearing off, we'll fight you.

Dash: Did you win?
Vixen: I think we won, didn't we fox?
Fox: No we didn't win.
Ranger: We did win, we did! The Badgers must have killed fifty rats each! And Adder, and Sinuous, they were magnificent!
Fox: It doesn't matter how many times we attack Bully and his rats, we will never be able to kill enough of them.
Whisper: Oh I'm sure we will.
Charmer: Yes, of course we will. [licks right paw as it's been bitten by rats]
Fox: [shakes head] There's too many of them, and more all the time. Every hole in the forest has a rat's nest in it. Litters of healthy new young, born every few minutes. They grow to fighting size between one full moon and the next. More, more all the time.

Ranger: [about Hurkel] Did you see him? Was he unkind to those rats or wasn't he!

Scared by Silly Snakes [3.08][edit]

I'llneverbesausages: I'm I'llneverbesausages!
Weasel: Glad to hear it.
I'llneverbesausages: Mother! [snorts in Weasel's face]
Weasel: Don't ever do that again.
I'llneverbesausages: I won't! [snorts in her face again]

Hurkel: Greetings, friend. Have you seen my mole?
Plucky: He's asleep, on your head.
Hurkel: Oh, what a relief! I've been looking for him all morning. I thought the rats had got him. I know it's unkind, but I detest rats. I shouldn't, should I?
Plucky: Well, I suppose...

I'llneverbesausages: My name is... I'llneverbesausages.
Cleo: What a funny name!
I'llneverbesausages: I just made it up!

Weasel: [crying about children] Where did we go wrong?
Measley: I think we should take them back to White Deer Park. If they have Fox to look up to they might grow up to be better weasels.

Fox: I know, what if us foxes were to stand guard around the pond? There's not enough of us to save all the frogs but it might make a difference.
Toad: Yes, yes, ah, ha. Thank you Fox.
Fox: [yet another frog is easily taken] They don't do much to help themselves do they.

A Bigger Oink [3.09][edit]

Weasel: I've never been so depressed!
Measley: Why don't you give the piglet another telling off? That'll cheer you up!
Weasel: You do it, you measley twerp! You're in charge now. I abdicate!

Dash: [in a rush] Fox has...ah! [notices who she's telling message to] You've called a meeting.
Fox: Thank you for telling me Dash.

Weasel: Its that dreadful piglet, he's always so cheerful.
Measley: Cheerfulness can be very depressing I know.

The Mole Game [3.10][edit]

Spike: Hurkel, you're kind.
Hurkel: I'm very kind. Yes, yes. Have you seen my mole?
Spike: You'll forgive me, won't ya?
Hurkel: Yes, I-I suppose... What have you done?
Spike: What have I done? Oh, Bully and his rats attacked Toad, and I didn't help him! I just stood there! I don't think he'll live! You will forgive me, won't ya, Hurkel?
Hurkel: No, I won't forgive you.
Spike: You won't? But that's unkind!
Hurkel: I know, but I still won't forgive you.

Charmer: Adder? Are you all right?
Adder: How many rats have you killed today?
Ranger: Well, none actually.
Adder: None? None!? I've killed a hundred! More! Many More! I've emptied their nests! They killed my Sinuous! And I'll kill all of them, every one!
Ranger: Look, there's the warden!
[Warden is at rat headquarters]
Bully: What's 'e doin'?
Brat: He's pouring poison down our 'ole.
Bully: I said 'e would didn't I? And he 'as, he must think we're stupid! [throws stone at Warden's head]
The Warden: OWW! That'll show you! [throws stone back at the rats]
Brat: Owh! [stone has hit him on the nose]
The Warden: Get out of my park, you filthy little monsters.
Bully: Wasn't that a good game, eh?
Brat: Game? Is it bleeding?
Bully: He was only playing, humans is always playing games. Oi, I'm forgetting, 'e left us poison!
[The screen changes]
Bully: Any creature what eats that poison, dies dead, foxes, toads, anything what walks, crawls or flies, dies!
Overlarge rat: The Warden's wasting 'is time, don't 'e know some of us have got immunity, Heheh.
Bully: You! What do you know! You was nothing before I found you, living in a sewer!
Overlarge rat: Uhhh...
Bully: I brought you here to this lovely park of mine! [realises the overlarge rat is dead] Funny, must 'ave 'ad a weak 'eart.

Toad: I can hear him!
Spike: So can I! Ah!
Charmer: Shall I ask them?
Ranger: Well if you don't I'll spend all day wondering what all this was all about.
Charmer: Toad? We don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?
Spike: It's a game, a very serious game.
Toad: That's right matey! Demanding great intelligence, we have to guess where Mossy Mole will come up!
Spike: He'll come up here!
Toad: Here, This is it! He'll come up here! Any moment!
Spike: [laughs] Here! He'll come up here!
Mossy: Ready or not, here I am! [next to Ranger]
Toad: Huh?
Ranger: Does this mean I win the game?
Mossy: You Win! Ranger's Champion, he wins!
Ranger: I want to hear Toad say it.
Toad: [sighs] You win.
Ranger: [chuckles] That's quite made my day! Ha ha, ha, ha.

The Worst Kind of Hurricane [3.11][edit]

Hurkel: Oh, what a beautiful morning. I've never seen a better one, not in all my days!
Shadow: Aye, Hurkel. It's mighty bonny.
Hurkel: It's-it's a Hurkelish morning. A morning to be Hurkelish on. I know, I'll do something extra-specially kind this morning!

Cleo: I don't want to leave!
Fido: Me neither, as well! It's a great home!
Cleo: Full of the best weaselly fun ever!
Fido: Yes!
Measley: You don't want that nasty wild boar to stick his great, big tusks in your father, do you?
Cleo and Fido: Yes! Yes!

Measley: Weasel, this time I'm not having any arguments. I won't have any tantrums, or name-calling. We're going back to White Deer Park. We're going home, where our friends are. Where we'll all be safe. Alright?
Weasel: Yes, Measley. You're right. Let's go home.

Homeward Bound [3.12][edit]

Vixen: Oh, Weasel, your little ones. They're so... weaselly!
Weasel: Oh. Thank you, Vixen. They take after me. They're not at all like Measley!

Rook: I have a new responsibilty, which prevents me from flying with you to bird paradise, this poor little orphan rook. I must be mother and father to it, there's no one else. Do you understand?
Owl: Yes of course.
Rook: Say that you love me all the more for sacrificing myself in this way. Go on.
Hollow: What!
Owl: Whenever I hear a rook call I shall think of you.

Fox: As senior fox and leader of the animals who came here from Farthing Wood, it gives me the greatest pleasure to formally acknowledge you, Laird as the leader of all the animals in the park. Well done.
Laird: Thank you foxes, and thank you for cheering me. We shall be friends you and I, just as you and my grandfather the Great White Stag were friends. We shall all live together peacefully and in friendship.

Bully: Tomorrow we will attack and kill all the other animals. We will rip 'em up, we will kill 'em. One rat by itself is a small thing but together we are one single animal. A huge animal, a monster that cannot be defeated!

Bully, Bully, Bully [3.13][edit]

Hurkel: I didn't say you were irritating.
Mossy: Yes, you did!
Hurkel: I just said I find it irritating when you eat worms while sitting on my back. That's not unreasonable, is it, Vixen?
Vixen: Well...
Mossy: You want me to starve, that's it! Has there ever been a more cruel badger?
Hurkel: But I'm kind!
Mossy: Are not!
Shadow: Are those two arguing again?
Vixen: I think so.
Mossy: He's cruel!
Hurkel: Oh... I'm very sorry.
Mossy: Say that you are an unkind, horrible, smelly badger!
Hurkel: Yes, alright, I am.
Mossy: I forgive you! [climbs on Hurkel's back]
Hurkel: Oh, moles...
Fox: [yawns] What about them?
Hurkel: [whispers] They're irritating.
Mossy: I heard that!

Weasel: [about Hollow] Oh, Owl, he's gorgeous! So Handsome! The best specimen of an Owl I've ever seen! Speaking as a weasel, you understand. He's much better then Measley, in every way!
Measley: No, he's not!
Weasel: Just look at him, you measley twerp!
Measley: But you can't compare! He's... he's an owl!
Weasel: [laughs, then kisses Measley] Ooh! Ooh, she loves me! She really loves me!

Plucky: Well Bully, have you had enough now?
Fox: You've had your chance, and we've beaten you. Make your choice: You can gather what's left of your rats together, and leave the park, or we'll keep on fighting until there's not a rat left alive.
Spike: Uhhh... except me.
Fox: Except you, Spike.

Measley: Can I be second-in-command?
Owl: No, that should be me!
Weasel: I should be. I'm the cleverest!
Hurkel: I think the kindest should be leader.

[last line of the series]
Plucky: I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood.

External links[edit]