The Bad Guys (film)

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The Bad Guys is a 2022 American computer-animated crime comedy film, produced by DreamWorks Animation and distributed by Universal Pictures. It is based on the children's book series of the same name. The film's plot follows a group of criminal animals who, upon being caught, pretend to attempt to reform themselves as model citizens as a new villain has his own plans.

Directed by Pierre Perifel. Written by Etan Cohen.
Good is no fun at all. (taglines)

The Bad Guys[edit]

  • [repeated line by Wolf and Snake] Go bad, or go home.

Mr. Wolf[edit]

  • [repeated line] So long, suckers!
  • [repeated line] Don't mind us, we're just robbing this place.
  • Hey, you! (Yeah, you!) Get over here. A little bit closer. Oh, I know what it is. You're afraid, because I'm, uh… The big bad wolf! Well, I'm not surprised. I am the villain of every story. Isn't that right, Snake? [Snake: [chuckles] Yep.] Say hello to Mr. Snake! Serpentine safe-cracking machine. Imagine Houdini but with no arms. The kind of guy who'd tell you the glass is half-empty then steal it from ya. He's also my best bud, and today is his birthday! [Snake: Not relevant.] He's a sweetheart. [to Snake] You're a sweetheart.
  • And over here is Ms. Tarantula. Our inhouse hacker, pocket search engine, and travelling-tech wizard. We call her "Webs".
  • And this is Mr. Shark, master of disguise. Apex predator of a thousand faces. His greatest trick: stealing the Mona Lisa disguised as the Mona Lisa. Dig that!
  • And rounding out the crew… [Piranha: Surprise!] …is Mr. Piranha. He's a loose cannon with a short fuse, willing to scrap with anyone or anything. He's brave, he's fearless... Aw, who am I kidding? He's crazy.
  • The Bad Guys become the good guys, so we can stay the Bad Guys. You know what I'm saying?
  • We're supposed to save them, not eat them!
  • Yeah, they're a bit eccentric, but when you're born us, you don't exactly win many popularity contests. Do I wish people didn't see us as monsters? Sure I do. But these are the cards we've been dealt, so we might as well play them.
  • We may be bad, but we're so good at it!
  • Do you ever wonder what it'd be like if the world wasn't scared of us?
  • They're the only friends I've ever had.
  • [last lines] Hey, you! That's right. Come here. A little closer. I said closer! Now that we've had some time to get acquainted, we're not so scary now, aren't we? Webs, hit it.

Mr. Snake[edit]

  • Relax, these doors are complicated.
  • Well, I'd say they've gone to a better place.
  • [Wolf: Maybe I don't wanna be a...] What, a bad guy?!
  • [His tail starts to wag and he gets angry] No, no. No! We'll... always... be... BAD GUYS!!
  • It's fantastic! Wolf, you're a genius!
  • Totally worth it!
  • I've made a lot of enemies in my time... I mean, a lot... but out of all the people in the world... I hate you guys the least.
  • You wanna know why I hate birthdays, Wolf? Do you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I'm just a scary, good-for-nothing monster. Yeah, but nothing compares to having the one guy... the one guy I thought I could trust... stab me in the back.

Mr. Piranha[edit]

  • [repeated line] Surprise!
  • Hermano.
  • Crazy! You're finally speaking my language, chico!
  • What happened? Did we blow up? Is this heaven?
  • What's up, papa?

Mr. Shark[edit]

  • I'm having a baby! Is there a doctor, or perhaps several security guards that can leave their posts and help me?
  • That's it! I'll teach you to share!
  • Oh, stop, you're making me blush.

Ms. Tarantula (Webs)[edit]

  • Everyone copy.
  • It's crime time, baby. Shark, we need a distraction.
  • Well, there goes our street cred.

Diane Foxington (a.k.a. the Crimson Paw)[edit]

  • A wolf and a fox are not so different. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't. But it doesn't matter. Don't do it for them. Do it for you. This is a chance to write your own story. To find a better life for you and your friends. What have you got to lose?
  • Yeah, well, that ship has already sailed.
  • I gave you an opportunity, a chance to show the world that you're more that just a scary stereotype! But you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it!
  • I was the best thief in the world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal. [Wolf: The Golden Dolphin. So, you went after it.] I didn't just go after it. I had it. And a clear escape route. But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox that they always told me I was. It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them. [sighs] I'm still me. [chuckles] I'm just me on the right side.

Professor Rupert Marmalade the 4th[edit]

  • That is an animal testing lab with helpless guinea pigs.
  • You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
  • [from the trailer only] If you want to stay out of jail, you need to go good.
  • You villains have an image problem. You need a makeover.
  • You see, I never cared about what's "good". Only what's good for me.

Police Chief Misty Luggins[edit]

  • [repeated line] Get them!
  • [to Wolf after he "attacks" Marmalade] Now, you are done FOREVER, Wolf!!

Dialogue[edit]

[Wolf and Snake are hanging out at a diner]
Snake: [first lines] Stop!
Wolf: I'll stop if you just explain it to me, 'cause I don't...
Snake: Would you please just drop it?
Wolf: Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground.
Snake: Good.
Wolf: But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! [Snake groans] You got decorations, you got balloons, you got parties. And cake!
Snake: Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.
Wolf: Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake.
Snake: Guinea pig.
Wolf: Oh, again with the guinea pig. [chuckles] I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig.
Snake: Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.
Wolf: Air?
Snake: Yes! Air. [tastes the air around him] Mmm, nice.
Wolf: I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste.
Snake: That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not about the pig! It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level!
[Wolf stares at him]
Wolf: So you can taste air?
Snake: Ah.
Wolf: What else you got?
Snake: Forget about it.
Wolf: Well, can you also hear color? [chuckles]
Snake: [annoyed] Alright.
Wolf: Can you see the sound?
Snake: OK.
Wolf: 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on your skills.
Snake: OK, alright, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now!
Wolf: OK, OK.
Snake: [spits out an alarm clock] Look at that! 4:00 p.m.! Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.
Wolf: [chuckles] Let's bounce.
Snake: Yup. [swallows the clock as he and Wolf get ready to leave]
Wolf: Just like, uh... you're gonna stick me with the bill... again.
Snake: Well, it is my birthday.
Wolf: So, now you play the birthday card? That's interesting. [walks up to the counter] Can we get a check please? When you get a chance? Hello? Checkity-check-check? You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here, okay? [places the money in the tip jar]
Snake: You know the one good thing about this place?
Wolf: What?
Snake: We never have to wait for a table.
[camera pans to see a group of customers cowering in a corner]
Wolf: Isn't that every place?
Snake: [to the group] Hey, man. How you been? I haven't seen you in... SNAKE ATTACK! [the group screams and all hide behind a chair] Ooh, mints. [swallows the whole bowl of mints]
Wolf: Sorry, folks, I'm switching him to decaf.
Snake: Alright.
Both: Let's do this.
Piranha: A giant butt!
Marmalade: Huh? Uh... It's... It's not a butt. It's a lamp in the shape of the Love Crater Meteorite, my greatest...
Piranha: I wonder whose butt it is?
Wolf: Uh...
Marmalade: Once again, It's not a butt. Thank you. It's a heart. Now as I was saying...
Piranha: Then why does It have cheeks?
[Wolf, Snake and Shark shush him]
Shark: Shut it!
Piranha: What? I've never seen a Heart with cheeks.
Marmalade: It's not a...
Piranha: BOOTY!
Marmalade: IT'S NOT A BUTT! NOT A BUTT!
Piranha: Does he know what a butt is?
Wolf: Hey, look. It's a cat! Stuck in a tree! [cat hisses]
Marmalade: It doesn't get much simpler than that. Now, what in this scenario would give you that good tingle?
Snake: Eating it.[lifts up to reveal two bread slices] This is why I always carry two pieces of bread with me.
Marmalade: [with a strained smile] No. I want you to s...
[the gang tries to think]
Wolf: Smack it!
Snake: [still confused] Skin it?
Shark: Stab it!
Tarantula: [bluntly] Sauté it.
Piranha: [innocently] Sing to it?
Marmalade: [frustrated] Save it. I want you to save it was so obvious. I want you to save it!
Bad Guys: Oh! Right, right…
[the gang slowly looks up at the cat with grins, then…]
Bad Guys: [baring fangs and sporting feral looks] HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!!
[the terrified cat rushes up further to the top of the tree]
Snake: Whoa! That cat is obviously defective.
Piranha: What is wrong with you guys? You're gonna give it a heart attack. I'll handle this. [climbs up the tree and shouts in the cat's face] WHAT'S UP, PAPA?! [the cat yowls in fear and falls out of the tree onto Wolf's head, clawing his face.]
[Nighttime. Wolf stares at the moon. Then he hears the cat, still stuck in the tree, meow. Wolf tries to save the cat again.]
Wolf: I think we got off to a bad start. The name's Wolf.
[Wolf climbs up the tree. The cat fears Wolf is going to hurt him.]
Wolf: Yep. [sighs] I get that a lot. First impressions and all. [He continues climbing. The cat steps back and jumps on the leaves, which begin to shake] No, no, no, no! [The leaves break. Wolf catches the cat and puts him to the other leaves] Uh, it's okay. It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. I know you're scared. I would be, too, if I were you. Just give me a chance. [the cat meows] Truth is, we actually have a lot in common. Don't tell anyone, but I love a little scratch on the spot behind my ears. You know, right there. The best. [The cat steps back again. Wolf reaches his hand to him.] Come on, kitty. [The cat sniffs Wolf's hand. He purrs and he jumps to Wolf. As the cat continues to purr, Wolf smiles at him.] Yeah, Who's a good kitty? [the cat meows] Who's a good kitty?
Webs: Uh, Wolf? Um, You saved him?
Marmalade: Yes! [chuckling] Yes. It's working.
Wolf: You-you filmed that?
Marmalade: Yes, and they’re starting to like you.
Shark: [chuckling] Yeah!
Piranha: All right!
Marmalade: This might just be enough to win over the guests at the gala.
Piranha: Now we're talking!
Snake: Yes!
Shark: All right!
Webs: Yeah, we did it! All right!
Wolf: You... It was all you.
Webs: What are you talking about, Wolf? (What was all Marmalade?)
Wolf: The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall.
Snake: Whoa, whoa. What old lady, and-and why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway?
[Marmalade chuckles]
Shark: Uh, guys, he's creeping me out.
Piranha: Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around.
Marmalade: [to Wolf] Well, well. So you finally get it!
Webs: Wait...
All: [shocked] What?!
Shark: You stole the meteorite?
Marmalade: Oh, it's not just a meteorite.
Piranha: I told you guys it's a butt.
Marmalade: It's not a butt! It's the ultimate power source. You see, when it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen!
Webs: [to Snake] You should've eaten him when you had the chance.
Snake: Yep.
Wolf: But why us?
Marmalade: Because you're the perfect patsies. Come on, when people look up "bad" in the dictionary, do they see a sweet adorable guinea pig? No! They see you, and they always will.
Snake: Okay, fine. But you set us up!
Marmalade: Oh, pish-pish. Let's be honest. Evolution set you up, but Wolfie here really clinched it. [to Wolf] You fell for every one of my traps, starting with saving a helpless little old lady.
Snake: Wolf, what's he talking about?
Marmalade: Whoops. Did I say too much? Anywho, looks like, yet again, the Big Bad Wolf got outsmarted by a little piggy.
Wolf: [enraged] You little pouchy-cheeked RAT!
[Marmalade quickly kicks the door open, adopting a terrified expression for the public as they see the Professor being "threatened" as Wolf furiously pounces at him]
Wolf: I'LL KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME?!
Marmalade: Help, help, help!
Wolf: YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEA– [notices everyone frightened in shock]
Marmalade: The Big Bad Wolf is attacking me!
Luggins: Oh! Now you are done forever, Wolf! [furiously slams the van's door]
Wolf: This is what happened. Back in the museum, I just tried to steal an old lady's purse. [gets mugshot taken] Classic snatch and grab.
Webs: "Tried to?" Since when do you try to steal something and not just steal it?
Wolf: I was trying to steal the purse when the old lady fell and... [clears throat] I kind of helped her.
Snake: What?! [gets mugshot taken]
Wolf: I kind of helped her.
Piranha: But then you stole the purse. [gets mugshot taken]
Wolf: No, [chuckles] I didn't! I saved the old lady, and she hugged me, and my tail wagged, and I didn't know what it was, but it felt, uh, you know... good. [the others, except Snake, gasp]
Piranha: Ah, but then you stole the purse!
Others: [irritated] NO!
Snake: Y'know, I heard when the pig told you, about cutting us loose.
Shark: Wait. Like, "us" us?
Snake: But I'd never thought you'd actually do it, man.
Wolf: What?! No! I'd never… I was trying to get a better life for all of us!
Snake: Our life was perfect until you decided to ruin it!
Wolf: I didn't! You guys felt it at the gala — the clapping, the cheering — we were more than-than just scary villains! They loved us!
Snake: Oh, yeah?! If they "loved us" so much how come we're in prison for a crime we didn't commit? You know what? I'll give Marmalade this, at least he sees the world for what it is - a place where some people are scary and some people are scared.
Wolf: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm tired of being scary! I'm… I'm tired of being an outcast! Maybe I don't wanna be a—
Snake: What, a bad guy?! Don't wanna be a bad guy anymore, huh?! Say it, Wolf! [Mr. Wolf glares at him] Yeah, I thought so. And us… your lifelong friends… We're just holding you back?
Wolf: YEAH, MAYBE YOU ARE!
[Snake gasps softly while Shark, Webs and Piranha look at each other in shock. Then Snake leaps on him, furiously attacking him. They all gasp in horror.]
Snake: TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BACK! APOLOGIZE!
Prison Guard 1: [breaks up Snake and Wolf] Hey, hey, hey! Prison is no place for fighting!
[A guard falls on the prison floor behind them]
Prison Guard 2: [points up, weakened] Tell that to him.
Wolf: Huh?
[Snake and Wolf look up to see The Crimson Paw dropping through the roof to the rescue.]
[After a rescue from prison]
Diane: Marmalade needs to be stopped, but I can't do it alone. You know his compound better than anyone.
Wolf: You can count on us. [to his gang, who are now feeling hurt from him and Snake's fight] Right, guys?
Snake: There is no "us". We're through, Wolf. Done. Finito.
Wolf: Because of that little tiff back there? Come on, man, that's what we do. You serve, I volley. That’s our little dance.
Snake: Not this time, buddy. [slithers away]
Wolf: Piranha? [Mr. Piranha follows Snake, aghast] Webs?
Webs: [reluctantly follows Snake] Sorry, Wolfy.
Wolf: Shark. [Shark says nothing and follows Snake] Hey, guys? Guys?
Snake: [stops slithering and turns to Mr. Wolf] You wanna know why I hate birthdays, Wolf? Do you? When you grow up a snake, nobody shows up to your party. Birthdays are a constant reminder that out there, I’m just a scary, good-for-nothing monster. Yeah. But nothing compares to having the one guy… the one guy I thought I could trust... Stab me in the back. [to the rest of the gang] Come on, guys. Let's get outta here.
[Snake and his gang leave]
[At Diane's House. Diane turn off Her car and looks at Wolf Thinking about his friends]
Diane: Hey. You okay?
Wolf: No, I'm not okay. I’m very, very un-okay. [grumbles] Just left the only friends I have ever had, so what am I… [sighs] what am I doing?
Diane: [Sighs] I know this isn’t easy, leaving everything behind.
Wolf: Do you?
Diane: Yeah. I was the best thief in th world. Fast, fearless, inventive. I just had one thing left to steal.
Wolf: The Golden Dolphin. So you went after it?
Diane: I didn't Just go after it. [In Flashback, When Diane tries to steal The Golden Dolphin] I had it. And a clear escape route. [She looks in the mirror and she take off her mask and her hood.] But... all I saw in the end was the tricky fox. that they always told me I was. [Diane put the Golden Dolphin back, and she ran. When Flashback end.] It changed everything. So, now, instead of hurting people, I'm helping them [Sighs] I'll still me [chuckles] I’m just me on the right side. You’re doing the right thing. And someday your friends, if they’re real friends, I think they’ll understand.
[Wolf is happy with Diane]
Diane: Now, come on, let’s get inside. You look like you just busted out of a prison.
Wolf: [chuckles]
Snake: You came back.
Wolf: Snake. I should've been honest with you. I was afraid that if you knew I-I wanted to be good that you'd...
Snake: ...Act like a jerk, and never talk to you again?
Wolf: [laughing] Yeah. Point is I… I-I-I, you know…
Snake: Yeah. I love you, too, buddy.
[Wolf and Snake hug each other]
Shark: This-this is so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful this is, you guys?
Piranha: Now… Now you're gonna make me cry.
Webs: I know! So pathetic, right?
Wolf: Come on, guys. [Holds up a grappling hook] Who said it was the end?
Luggins: [chuckles] That is it.
Piranha: Hey!
Luggins: There is absolutely no way you’re getting away this time.
Diane: Wait, Chief.
Luggins: Governor Foxington?
Diane: Don't do this.
Wolf: Ow!
Diane: They didn't steal the meteorite, they were bringing it back.
Luggins: Ha! How do you know that unless... unless you were conspiring with a bunch of known criminals!
Diane: Well... [clears throat] ...As a matter of fact, it’s time I came clean about something.
[Wolf, Snake, Shark, Piranha, and Webs realize that Diane is going to tell her about her secret identity]
Diane: The truth is I’m really... [clears throat] ...R-really...
Wolf: [cuts in quickly] Really a big fan of redemption arcs! Yeah, we know.
[The understand Wolf's intention, protecting Diane's secret identity.]
Wolf: We're done running away.
Piranha: Yeah.
Shark: Mm-hmm.
Webs: Yeah.
Snake: Yep.
Wolf: Chief, do what you need to do.
Luggins: What, y-you're turning yourself in?
Wolf: We might not have stolen the meteorite, but we did steal a lot of other things. It's time we took some responsibility. Start a clean state. Take us in, Chief.
Luggins: Wow, really?
Wolf: You finally did it. This is your moment, Chief. Drink it in.
Luggins: [gasps] Wow. You know, I should… I should give a speech. I… Well, I-I should, shouldn't I?
Wolf: Uhhh... [unsure, but she's already started talking]
Luggins: [clears throat] When I was 6 years old, I decided that I wanted to play the piccolo, only to find that my fingers were just too powerful for that fragile little instrument. And that’s when I discovered law enforcement...
Wolf: [chuckles]
[Luggins continues her speech indistinctly]
Diane: I’m proud of you, Wolf.
Wolf: You know, a fox and a wolf are not that different. You got a good thing going here, Governor.
Luggins: Wait a second. This isn't the meteorite, it's a lamp.
Everyone: Huh?
Snake: Heheheh.
Everyone: What?!
[Flashback]
Webs: Snake, what did you just do?
Snake: What? My friend was sad, and I was just cheering him up.
Webs: I think Wolf was right. Maybe we could be more than just scary villains.
Snake: I'm bad. You're bad. Let's be bad together.
Marmalade: You've got yourself a deal.
Snake: Can I try it on?
Marmalade: Of course, partner.
Wolf: Don't mind us. Just robbing this place.
[In the present]
Marmalade: But if that's a lamp, where is the...?
Snake: Heheh. The old switcheroo.
Luggins: Hold on. (What's this?) This is the Zumpango diamond! But this was stolen by… [gasps] The Crimson Paw!
Marmalade: Me? Oh, oh, no, no, no.
Tiffany:O.M.G.
Marmalade: No, no, no! No, you've got it all wrong!
Tiffany: And a shocking twist.
Marmalade: You're making a huge mistake!
Tiffany: The notorious bandit, known as the Crimson Paw, has been revealed to be none other than Professor Marmalade.
Marmalade: No, no! I'm not the Crimson Paw!, she is! She's the Paw! (Honest!) I'm the flower of goodness! NO!

Taglines[edit]

  • Good is no fun at all.
  • Go bad, or go home.

Cast[edit]

External Links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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