The Boss Baby

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The Boss Baby is a 2017 American 3D computer-animated comedy film about a baby who is a secret agent in the secret war between babies and puppies.

Directed by Tom McGrath. Written by Michael McCullers, loosely based on the 2010 picture book of the same name written and illustrated by Marla Frazee.

Boss Baby[edit]

  • Fart! Poop! Doody!
  • I'm on a mission from above.
  • Too-da-loo, toilet head!
  • Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.

Tim[edit]

  • No, Ted and Janice. You don't even know their names. You're just trying to steal them from me. You stole everything! You're the one who should be in jail!
  • I don't want your flithy money.
  • [voice-over while Boss Baby reads letter] Dear Boss Baby, I don't usually write very much, but now I know that memos are very important things. Even though I never went to business school, I did learn to share in kindergarten. And if there isn't enough love for the two of us, then I wanna give you all of mine. I would like to offer you a job. It will be hard work and there will be no pay. But the good news is that you can never be fired. And I promise you this. Every morning when you wake up, I will be there. Every night at dinner, I will be there. Every birthday party, every Christmas morning, I will be there. Year after year after year. We will grow old together. And you and I will always be brothers.

Francis Francis[edit]

  • And we are on schedule to release the most adorable puppy ever. We're gonna launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas! WATCH OUT, WORLD! IT'S GONNA CRUSH THE COMPETITION!
  • That's right. We're going to launch a brand new puppy in every continent. In every country! We're going to take over the world, one heart at a time! Imagine a puppy that never grows up, never gets old. A puppy that stays a puppy... forever. I give you the only thing you'll ever love: THE FOREVER PUPPY!

Wizzie[edit]

  • Wake up, little halflings! It's 7 a.m. (repeated line)
  • What great adventure lies in wait for you today?
  • Arise for a nutritious breakfast! It's 7 a.m.
  • Oh, what's wrong, Timothy? Has that little dwarf made you blue?
  • Then I shall cast upon him a great curse! HE SHALL NOT PASS!!!
  • Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened.... WITH A GREAT CURSE!!! THEY SHALL NOT PASS!!!
  • Expose his dark magic!
  • We could buy a bouncy house!
  • Godspeed, Tim! It's 8:45 a.m.
  • It's okay, little halfling. Perhaps I could be of some assistance. Blackbird singing in the dead of night! Pray, take these broken wings and learn to fly! FLY, YOU FOOLS!!!
  • If only I could reach my magical shank. I could break us out of this big house.
  • Because it's 7 a.m. I have one job to do, and you make it so difficult.
  • It's okay, little halfling. Sometimes, I get confused too. Especially during daylight savings time. Spring forward, fall back. We don't even have calendars in the wizard's realm! There is no spring, only darkness and winter!

Dialogue[edit]

Tim: [about the baby] Look at him! He wears a suit!
Janice Templeton: I know. Isn't it cute? He's like a little man!
Tim: He carries a briefcase! Does no one else think that's... oh, I don't know... a little freaky?
Ted Templeton: Well, you carried Lam-Lam around until you were like–
Tim: This is not about Lam-Lam.
Janice Templeton: All babies are different, Tim.

Boss Baby: There's only so much love to go around. It's like these beads. You had all your parent's love, all their time. You had all the beads, but then I came along. You see, babies take up a lot of time. They need a lot of attention. They get all the love.
Tim: We could share.
Boss Baby: You obviously didn't go to business school.

Eugene: [after Francis Francis turns back into a baby, and is asleep. Clearing his voice and speaking for the first time] This time, we'll raise him right.

Tim: [snaps his fingers; condescendingly] Meanwhile, two days go by like that. [holds up Boss Baby's briefcase] You better start packing!
Boss Baby: [enraged] WHAT?! [belligerently throws Senor Squeaky into Tim's groin]
Tim: [in agony] Ohh!
Boss Baby: [grabbing Tim by his shirt] YOU DON'T GET IT, TEMPLETON!!! If I'm fired, they'll take away my formula. I will turn into a normal baby and live here forever with you!
Tim: No!
Boss Baby: Yes! And I promise you this: Every morning you wake up, I'll be there. Shh. Every night at dinner, I'll be there. Every birthday party, I'll be there. Every Christmas, I'll BE THERE!!! Year after year after year. We will grow old together. You and I... will be brothers. Always.
Tim: No. No, this is terrible.

Tim: You can talk!
Boss Baby: Uhh... Goo-goo-ga-ga!
Tim: No! You can really talk! I heard you!
B.B.: Fine! I can talk. Now let's see if you can listen. Give me a double espresso and find a place around here with good sushi, I kill for a spicy tuna roll right about now. [gives Tim some money] Get yourself a little something!
Tim: Who are you?
B.B.: Let's just say... I'm the boss.
Tim: The boss? You're a baby. You wear a diaper.

B.B.: So that's how you want to play it, Huh. Let's see. Templeton, Timothy, middle name. [laughs] I'm sorry, Leslie! Mostly C's.
Tim: How do you know all that?
B.B.: Can't ride a bike without training wheels? Even bears can ride a bike without training wheels, Leslie.

B.B.: [sick of being a baby] God, this is so humiliating! [it repeats on the tape]
Tim: [determined] Wait til Mom and Dad hear this. [gasps, finds Boss Baby and his infants]
B.B.: Hey, Templeton. What you got there?
Tim: [hides the tape] Uh, nothing.
B.B.: Hand over the tape.
Tim: Never! [rushes outside and is surrounded by Boss Baby and his infants in vehicles] Mom! Dad!
Ted: Hi!
B.B.: [through a bullhorn] You can't get away from Johnny Law, simpleton. [the chase starts, Tim runs]
Jimbo: Run, run, run, run, run... [crashes through a fence]
[the triplets ride in a firetruck and snatch the tape, and Tim uses the hose to stop them]
Triplets: [flying through the air] WHOA!!!!!!!
[Jimbo catches them and the firetruck explodes]
Tim: Whoa!
B.B.: Yes! [grabs the tape and flies in the air then comes back to the ground] Oh, yeah! [finds Tim on the police car] Let go, you little...
[scene cuts to Ted and Janice looking outside a window]
Janice: Hey, look, the kids are finally getting along.
Ted: That's nice!
[Boss Baby swings Tim around, then falls onto the grass, the babies come in, Boss Baby makes a throat cutting gesture, and the babies charge]
Tim: Sayonara! [goes up into his treehouse, and grabs suction darts and a Nerf gun] You wanna play? Let's play! [swings down at shoots darts at Jimbo]
Jimbo: No! Save boss, save boss! [Tim grabs the tape]
B.B.: Get him!
Triplets: I got him, I got him, I got him! [Tim jumps a trampoline into his house, and they jump, and Stacie flies into the air]
Tim: You're toast, baby man!
B.B: Upsies! I need upsies! [Jimbo twirls him, and Boss Baby flies into a window]
Ted: Who wants... cheesesticks! [they look at the mess]
Woman: Oh, oh, oh!
Tim: Mom, Dad! I got proof! [Boss Baby runs in his walker and gets vampire teeth and bites Tim] Ah! [they tumble, and Tim goes down the stairs] Oh, someone can't come down the stairs? Ha!
B.B.: Nothing can stop me! [rolls down the stairs, laughing, then Tim opens the door, and he rolls outside, and Tim closes the door]
Tim: Mom, Dad! Where are you guys? Hello! Where did everybody go? Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!
B.B.: Oh, can he now? [turns to Tim in a chair]
Tim: Wait, how did you...?
B.B.: Hand over the tape, Timmy. Or Lam-Lam gets it, see? [grabs a stapler]
Tim: No!
B.B.: What's that, Lam-Lam? Oh, you want a nose ring. Well, it's really not my scene, but, who am I to judge? [staples Lam-Lam's nose]
[Tim whimpers]
B.B.: And an eyebrow ring. Seems like a bit too much, Lam-Lam! [staples Lam-Lam's eyebrow]
Tim: Ah!
B.B.: How is that going to like in a job interview?
Tim: Stop it!
B.B.: The tape, Timmy, or I'm gonna rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip...
Tim: No! [grabs Lam-Lam and they tug at her]
Tim: Let go!
B.B.: You let go!
Tim: No.
Tim: You let go!
B.B.: Give me the tape!
Tim: Give me Lam-Lam! [gasps, seeing Lam-Lam ripped, then glares at Boss Baby]
B.B.: Whoops! Too far! [Tim grunts, grabs him] Templeton, Templeton! Let’s be reasonable. Can we be reasonable, right? What are you doing?
Tim: [throws Boss Baby in a baby jumper and opens the curtains and window] You've been asking for this since you got here! [puts the jumper up on the window]
B.B: We can talk about this over a juice box!
Tim: [pulls it back to use as a slingshot] Time for juice boxes is over!
B.B: No, no, Templeton! You wouldn’t!
Tim: Say bye-bye, baby! You’re fired!
Ted: [enters the room with Janice] Tim, what are you doing?
Tim: [looks at his father] Nothing.
[Boss Baby looks at Ted, and cries. Tim lets go of the jumper, accidentally shooting the tape out the window, then it lands onto the road and gets run over by a passing car brokes the tapes]
Tim: [horrified] My proof! [Boss Baby grins triumphantly]
Janice: Tim! [takes Boss Baby] Explain yourself!
Ted: Yes! Explain yourself!
Tim: It wasn’t me, it was the baby’s fault!
Ted: The baby’s fault?
Tim: It’s true! He can talk! They all can talk! They’re having a meeting! There’s something about puppies! It’s one big baby con-spy-racy!
Janice: Timothy Leslie Templeton!
Ted: We are very disappointed in you!
Janice: No, we're mad at you!
Ted: Exactly, we're mad at you!
Tim: [heartbroken] Mad?
Ted: You need a time-out!
Janice: [correcting Ted] You're grounded!
Ted: Yes, grounded! For... [to Janice] 2?
Janice: Three!
Ted: Three! [to Janice] Days?
Janice: Weeks!
Ted: Weeks! Three weeks!
Janice: For three... NEVERS!!
Tim: Grounded?
Janice: You're going to stay in this house with your baby brother until you learn to get along!
B.B.: [disappointed] Oh, great.
Adult Tim [narrating]: It was my first time behind bars. The big house. Lockup. Grounded for life. The minutes turned into hours, the hours into days. Every man has his breaking point. This was mine.
Ted and Janice: [singing, together] Blackbird singing in the dead of night...
Tim: [sadly] Hey, that’s my song.

Francis: Thanks for dropping in, kids.
Tim: Francis Francis?
Francis: I see you've met my big brother, Eugene. A man of few words. [Eugene takes off his Puppy Co. Pete head and makes a growling gibberish noise] None, in fact.
Tim: Can you put your head back on, please?
B.B.: What is all this?
Francis: [takes out a Baby Corp pacifier] Surprise!
B.B.: A Baby Corp binky? Where did you get that?!!
Francis: Oh, you don't recognize me? Perhaps from my youth!
[Francis pulls a rope, separating two curtains behind him to reveal a portrait of Boss Baby's idol, Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby]:
B.B.: Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby?
Tim: Whoa. He is him? And him is you? Except older and wrinklier. [reacting to Francis sucking on the pacifier] That's not right.
B.B.: No. You were my hero! How did you end up... here?
Francis: [irate] You know what I do to little kids who ask lots of questions about me? Eugene!
[Eugene takes a pop-up book out of his sleeve; B.B. and Tim cower, but sigh in relief after it is revealed]
Francis: [happily] I read them my story. [as Eugene sets down cookies] And... I BAKED COOKIES! Eugene, my chair.
[Eugene lowers his body to form a chair and Francis sits on his lap]
Francis: [opens the book] Now, it all started at Baby Corp a long, long time ago. I was a hotshot executive headed straight to the top. Everyone loved me. They gave me a promotion, the corner office, my very own...
B.B.: Personal potty?
Francis: Shing! I had it all. [sadly] But then one day, I made a terrible discovery. I was getting... old. The formula wasn't working anymore. It turns out I was lactose intolerant.
B.B.: No!
Francis: Yes! I got called to see the board of directors.
Tim: Who are the boring directors?
Francis: The biggest baby bosses of them all. I thought they loved me. But they replaced me with someone new. Someone younger.
Tim: That's horrible.
Francis: All of a sudden, she got all the love, all the attention. You know how that feels, don't you, Tim? It hurts, doesn't it? [hands a cookie to Tim]
Tim: Yeah, it does. [eats cookie] And then what happened?
Francis: [weeping] Well... [angrily snaps] THEY FIRED ME!!! AND TOOK AWAY MY SPECIAL FORMULA! THEN THEY SENT ME DOWN TO LIVE WITH A... [stuttering] FAMILY!
B.B.: Oh, Francis, no!
Francis: BABY CORP BETRAYED ME!!! AND I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET REVENGE... WITH...
[Francis flips the page to reveal the new puppy]
Francis: [gleefully] the Forever Puppy.
Tim: Huh?
B.B.: That's it?
Francis: [as he is flipping pages] No, no. Imagine a puppy that never grows up. A puppy that stays a puppy forever. Once I launch my Forever Puppies to every corner of the world, they'll be so adorable...
Imaginary Voices: How cute!
Francis: ...and no one will ever want a baby ever again. The end... of Baby Corp!
[He does a maniacal laugh as he attempts to close the book, but it doesn't close, so he angrily tosses it into a nearby fireplace]
B.B.: Oh, please. A puppy that never grows up? That's impossible! [After brief silence] Isn't it?
Francis: Oh, it was, until you brought me the key ingredient.
[Eugene snatches the formula from Tim's backpack]
B.B.: My secret formula.
Francis: [snatches formula from Eugene] IT'S MINE! IT'S MINE! It's all mine.
B.B.: No!
Francis: [as he sends the formula up a capsule pipeline] You brought me the very thing I needed to destroy Baby Corp.
B.B.: No!
Francis: Yes! You walked right into my trap!
B.B.: YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS!
Tim: Yeah, not if we-
Francis: What? Tell? Who are you gonna tell, Tim? Your parents?
[Francis plays live surveillance footage of Ted of Janice looking for Tim and B.B.]
Janice: Where are the boys?
Ted: I told them to stay in the Puppy Zone.
Francis: I'm taking them both with me to Las Vegas. So stay out of my way. [crushes a cookie] I'd hate for them to get... terminated.
Tim: Ha! They'd never leave us alone!
Francis: Oh, really? [snaps fingers, prompting Eugene to change from his business attire to that of a Mary Poppins-like nanny] Wait until they meet Puppy Co.'s certified in-house childcare expert.
B.B. and Tim: Oh, no.

Tim: They're gone.
B.B.: I failed.
Tim: I would've gotten to my parents if I didn't have to go back for you!
B.B.: What? We would have been here in plenty of time if you knew how to ride a bike like a normal kid! We're never going to stop the launch on time.
Tim: Who cares? My parents are in danger.
B.B.: I care! Baby Corp is going to go out of business.
Tim: That's all you ever talk about. You don't know what it's like to be part of a family.
B.B.: And you don't know what it's like to have a job!
Tim: You don't know anything about hugs, or bedtime stories, or special songs! Y
You don’t know anything about hugs, or bedtime stories, or special songs!
B.B: Oh, please. Stop acting like a baby.
Tim: You’re a baby!
B.B: [Gasps] You take that back.
Tim: My life was perfect until you showed up!
B.B.: Oh, believe me, kid. The feeling is mutual. I wish I never met you!
Tim: I WISH YOU NEVER BEEN BORN! [B.B. is shocked by Tim's harsh words, straightens his tie and leaves] Where are you going? FINE! [singing] Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

[Francis Francis activates the rocket holding the Forever Puppies and throws away the key]
Automated Female Voice: Launch initiated.
Francis: [angrily] I'M LAUNCHING MY FOREVER PUPPIES, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!
Tim: No!
Francis: Baby Corp stole all the love from me, and now I'm going to take it back from them. [to Tim] You should understand what I'm talking about! You got replaced just like me!
Tim: No! I'm nothing like you!
Francis: Bratty kid!
B.B.: Let our parents go! His parents. The parents.
Tim: Yeah!
Francis: [snaps] YOU COULD HAVE HAD YOUR PARENTS' LOVE ALL TO YOURSELF AGAIN! BUT NO! YOU BLEW IT! YOU LET THAT BABY BOSS YOU AROUND!
B.B.: He doesn't work for me.
Tim: We're partners. Ha!
[Tim attempts to tickle Francis Francis, but Francis is unaffected]
Francis: Ha! I'm not ticklish.
[Francis notices B.B. is gone]
Francis: Hey! Where's the baby?
B.B.: Everyone has a tickle spot!
Francis: [as B.B. tickles him in the ear] My ears! Stop it! [Tim and B.B. get past Francis; Francis angrily throws his cane at the boys] LITTLE BRATS! [The cane hits Tim and B.B. and they are dangling on a platform over a pool of formula] Nothing is going to get in the way of my vengeance. NOT YOU, NOT ANYBODY!!! BABY CORP IS THROUGH! I WIN! HA!
B.B.: WRONG! You're not supposed to end with "Ha!
[Boss Baby's pointer becomes a pirate sword in Tim's imagination, and the setting turns into a flying pirate ship at night; Tim, Boss Baby, and Francis Francis are all wearing pirate clothes and Tim and B.B. are dangling on a plank]
Tim: That's right!
Francis: What?
B.B.: You're supposed to end with...
B.B. and Tim: AAARRGGH!
[Tim and B.B. jump back onto the ship and engage in swashbuckling action with Francis Francis.]
Tim: You're fired!
Tim: And HERE'S your severance package!
[B.B. grabs Francis Francis by the tie and tosses him off of the ship/platform into a void. This is followed by a transition back to reality; Francis Francis actually fell into the pool of formula.]
Tim: Take that, you scurvy scallywag!
Automated Female Voice: 1 minute in counting.

[In the mid-credits scene]
Tim: [in his pirate imagination] Argh! [Janice walks in and tells Tim and Theodore it's time to go to bed]
Janice: [walks in] All right guys time for bed.
Tim: Aw come on Mom just a little longer.
Janice: Okay. [Theodore claps and laughs starting the rest of the credits]

[In the end-credits scene]
[Last lines]
Wizzie: [Alarm clock goes off] Wake up little halflings it's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives. BE GONE WITH YOU!

Taglines[edit]

  • Born leader
  • He means business. March 2017.
  • He's the Boss. March 2017.
  • Ruthless and Toothless!
  • Cookies are for Closers!
  • Who's the Boss?

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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