The Cat in the Hat (film)
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- Directed by Bo Welch. Written by Alec Berg, David Mandel, and Jeff Schaffer, loosely based on the 1957 book of the same name by Dr. Seuss.
The ultimate game of cat and house.(taglines)
The Cat in the Hat
- [about The Fish] Come on, kids! Are you going to listen to him? He drinks where he pees!
- This cat should not be here, he should not be about! He should not be here when your mother is out!
- Sally: Who are you?!
- Cat: Who, me? Why, I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're... "meline"... "key lime"... "turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!
- Sally: Where did you come from?
- Cat: Hmm, How do I put this... When a mommy cat and a daddy cat love each other very much, they decide that...
- Conrad: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Where did you come from?
- Cat: My place, what do you think?
- Cat: [looking at a photo] Humina, humina, humina! Who is this?
- Conrad: That's my mom.
- Cat: Awkward.
- Fish: Stop this right now!
- Conrad: Who said that?
- Fish: Me! Remember, the fish? Came home in a baggy, loved me for two weeks, and then nothing.
- Sally: The fish is talking.
- Cat: Well, sure, he can talk. But is he saying anything? No, not really.
- Thing 2: Don't belittle me.
- Cat: Ah, yes of course. Thing 2 would like to clarify that just because he wears the number 2 does not imply in any way that he's inferior to Thing 1.
- Thing 2: And all of the above.
- Cat: He says you may feel free to call him Thing A if you like. He will also accept Super Thing, Thing King, Kid Dynamite, Chocolate Thun-da or Ben.
- Thing 2: [chuckles] "Ben".
- [Thing 1 jabbers incoherently]
- Cat: Thing 1 says he's Thing 1 for a reason and some people should just get used to it. It's a Thing thing, you wouldn't understand.
- Cat: [closes the crate after Conrad opened it] Listen, Condax, you probably don't wanna do that.
- Conrad: Why not? It's just a crate.
- Cat: This isn't just any old crate. It's the Transdimensional Transporterlator. It's kinda like a doorway which leads from this world to my world.
- Conrad: But it says there "Made in the Philippines".
- Cat: Yes, but not this Philippines.
- [Conrad and Sally notice the Cat's car]
- Conrad: Wow! That's very cool!
- Cat: That's just the dust cover. [removes cover, exposing an unusual car] Here she is! The Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.
- Sally: S-L-O-W?
- Cat: Yeah, SLOW. It's better than the last name we had, Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter.
- Conrad: Oh! You mean–
- Cat: Oh! Quick to the SLOW!
- Fish: Someone else should drive!
- Cat: All right. You win. Concrete, you drive. [gives Conrad the wheel]
- Conrad: Are you serious?
- Cat: I don't know. A little voice inside of me is saying, "This is a bad idea", but I can barely hear that little voice, because an even louder little voice is screaming, "Let the 12-year-old drive!" Now punch it.
- Conrad: This is awesome!
- Sally: I want to drive.
- Cat: I think that's a great idea. [gives Sally another wheel]
- Conrad: Wait, two people can't drive at the same time.
- Cat: You're right. We should all drive. [gets his own wheel]
- Sally: Like being in the Circus!
- Cat: Yeah, but without those tortured animals or drunken clowns that have hepatitis.
- The ultimate game of cat and house.
- Don't mess with the hat.
- The Cat is Back!
- Cats with hats only.
- Mike Myers - The Cat in the Hat
- Alec Baldwin - Lawrence "Larry" Quinn
- Kelly Preston - Joan Walden
- Dakota Fanning - Sally Walden
- Spencer Breslin - Conrad Walden
- Sean Hayes - Hank Humberfloob and The Fish
- Dan Castellaneta - Things One and Two (voice)
- Victor Brandt - Narrator