The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie!

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! is a 2010 adult animated direct-to-DVD American mystery comedy film based on the Comedy Central animated television series Drawn Together written and produced by original writers and executive producers Dave Jeser and Matt Silverstein and directed by Greg Franklin.

Foxxy Love[edit]

  • I.S.R.A.E.L.? Why the fuck is it on our land when we already live here?
  • [in a confessional] Now, the only one we needed was Toot, so we set off on our journey to find her, a journey of excitement and adventure, mystery and mayhem, love and loss, a journey that carried us to far-away lands and taught us so much about what was right here inside us all along. A journey which would change us all forever. And then we found her fat ass.

Princess Clara[edit]

  • For fuck's sake, Xandir! l'm trying to impress the goddamn king! And l can't fucking sing if you keep flapping those dick-sucking lips of yours!
  • Guys, I think the Jew Producer was telling the truth. I think I'm a fake. I think we're all fakes!

Captain Hero[edit]

  • You saved us, Molly! And tonight, I'll even let you fuck me in the mouth!

Xandir[edit]

  • [while being imprisoned in a dungeon] I haven't seen this many shit-covered rodents since my last colonoscopy.

Wooldoor Sockbat[edit]

  • This is horrible! We're canceled and fake. Just like my child support checks.
  • Fuck you, guys! I need Drawn Together. Otherwise, I don't exist!

Spanky Ham[edit]

  • If I can't fart or vomit or fill up an ice tray with the afterbirth of Foxxy's miscarriage and hand them out as ice pops to terminally-ill children on my hospital tours without making some kind of point, then maybe it's just not worth it.

Network Head[edit]

  • No wonder everyone hates you, I.S.R.A.E.L., you're so goddamn aggravating!
  • It's not that I dislike the Drawn Together gang. It's that I hate those motherfuckers!

Dialogue[edit]

Wooldoor: Foxxy, the only thing you're good at is giving head, and you managed to do the opposite!
Foxxy: You too Wooldoor?
[Foxxy runs away crying and Wooldoor feels sad]

[The housemates are waking up in their house]
Clara: Good morning, people and Foxxy. It's a lovely day to be on a reality show.
Foxxy: And it's a great day to deny wettin' the bed. WHICH I DID NOT DO!

Rhino Guard: Do you not know that impersonating a princess is a serious offense, punishable by death?
Clara: [slapping the guard] Do you not know that sucking my dick is a serious offense, punishable by FUCK YOU! Now let us in at once or I'll have your children killed! [to the camera] Yeah, it's good to be home.

Suck My Taint Girl: Look, Make-A-Point Land!
Wooldoor: Where? I can't see it.
Foxxy: It's right over there, between Why-You-So-Bitter-About-Being-Canceled Land and You-Had-Three-Or-Four-Seasons-You-Should-Be-Happy-With-What-You-Got-Most-Shows-Don't-Even-Get-That Land.

Foxxy: Guys, I solved a mystery.
Clara: The only mystery you've ever solved is the mystery of the empty uterus. [Everybody except Foxxy laughs]
Foxxy: If that's true, then how did I found out that the Drawn Together had been cancelled?
(dramatic music)
Wooldoor: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cancelled?
Clara: That's ridiculous!
Captain Hero: Girl, you crazy.
Spanky: Poppycock!
Foxxy: Oh, really? Then why can I say, "You can all fuck my titties with your shit-covered cocks, you cum-guzzling faggots!" without being bleeped?
(dramatic music)
Spanky: Yeah! How the fuck is... Whoa! I just said "fuck!"
Captain Hero: Fuck! Oh, well, I'll be darned.
Toot: Dick-gobbling, blood-soaked, ass-eating turd taster! Whoo-hoo! This is fun!
Ling-Ling: If we not on TV anymore, then why have I been bleaching my anus?

Spanky: Oh god, I was so scared. I mean, I wanted to go, "Whee, wee, wee, wee!", all the way home.
Ling-Ling: Do you think Jew Producer was telling truth? That I'm not really Pikachu?
Clara: Never trust a Jew producer. I'm obviously a real Disney Princess. If I weren't, why would I be so much better than all you people and Foxxy?
Foxxy: Maybe the Jew Producer was tellin' the truth. I mean, Clara, you may look like a Disney princess, but how many Disney princesses have done the things you done done?
[cut to various shots of Clara doing un-princess-like things]
Foxxy: And how many times you seen Josie and the Pussycats do what I doed?
[cut to various shots of Foxxy doing things not befitting of Josie and the Pussycats]
Captain Hero: Now, Foxxy, let's not jump to any conclusions here.
Foxxy: C'mon, Captain Hero, how many real superheroes do you know that bang corpses?
Captain Hero: I don't know. Molly, how many superheroes HAVE you been with?
[cut to various shots of Molly in sexual encounters with various superheroes, the last one in which Batman can be seen fellating Robin on a toilet]
Foxxy: In fact, ain't no real cartoon characters would do any of the things we done doed!
Toot: Come to think of it, I don't behave anything like the real Betty Boop.
Xandir: [sighs] Please, Toot. We're trying to have a discussion here?
Spanky: Yeah, really, Toot. Don't make this all about you.
Ling-Ling: She always does this.
Wooldoor: This is horrible! We're cancelled and fake! Just like my child support checks.
Spanky: Oh, yeah, laugh it up, Wooldoor, but I.S.R.A.E.L.'s after us! No one can hide from I.S.R.A.E.L. What are we going to do?
Foxxy: You heard the Jew Producer, They want us dead because we's cancelled. So if we can get Drawn Together back on the air, we can save our asses!
Xandir: [scoffs] Yeah right, Foxxy. How you plan on doing that?
Foxxy: I don't know yet. But we can start with that girl who stole our timeslot. The Suck My Taint Girl. She sound like she could help.
[All talking at once]
Clara: Well, I'm not fake. So I'm going back to my kingdom. You're all welcome to join me. My father, the king will keep us safe from I.S.R.A.E.L.
Xandir: I do like being safe.
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling like safe too also.
Captain Hero: Molly and I always dreamed of going to Disneyworld.
Xandir: You said you'd take me to Disneyworld!
Spanky: Well, like a colostomy bag, I'm on Foxxy's side. I liked being a reality TV star.
Wooldoor: Yeah! We need to get our show back. Otherwise, I'll have to go back to my old gig: exposing myself to children, and that union has THE worst health plan!
Xandir: Fine! Then I guess we are splitting up. How do we decide who gets the mystery van?
Toot: Later, ass-bags!

Network Head: (narrating) My beautiful wife was taking our little girl Sasha to her first day of elementary school. They were singing something. Something pure, something innocent. Little Sasha was young and hadn't yet been burdened with the complexities and ugliness of life. But then she saw it.
Sasha: Mommy, Mommy! What is that chocolate-face girl doing to the princess?
Network Head's Wife: (gasp as she saw Drawn Together billboard) No, no, no, no. Don't look at it, honey. Close your eyes! For God sakes, close your eyes!
Sasha: Mommy! The chocolate girl is eating the princess! She's eating her face! Why is she eating her face?! MOMMY!!
[both screaming as car crashes as falls into a dead end]
Network Head: (narrating) My wife lost control of the car and drove off a cliff! They landed in a deadly pit of alligators! Swimming in a pit of sulfric acid! By the time arrived, there was nothing I could do...but get...revenge..!

Jew Producer: You don't talk much, do you, I.S.R.A.E.L.?
I.S.R.A.E.L.: I.S.R.A.E.L. talks when I.S.R.A.E.L. has something to say.
Jew Producer: OK, just trying to pass the time here. Listen, I know you're a robot and everything, but don't you have feeling? Isn't it hard for you to destroy things that have never wronged you?
I.S.R.A.E.L.: Everyone has wronged I.S.R.A.E.L.!

Foxxy: What the hell is wrong with you, Wooddork!
Wooldoor: There is no good explanation for what I've done.
Foxxy: You are clearly out your fuckin' mind!
Wooldoor: I'm sorry, I'm really...
Foxxy: (gasps) Did you hear that?
Wooldoor: What?
Foxxy: You out your fuckin' mind? I said fuck, and they didn't even beep it! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! [gasps] What about shit? What about cunt? What about shitcunt? [gasps again] No beeps! They ain't beeping the curse words! [to Wooldoor] Go on, try it! Say something!
Wooldoor: Okay. Uh, schwartza. Mud baby. Smoked Irishman. Ink face!
Foxxy: Nah, dummy, they never censor racism. I'm talking about words like "shitcunt".
Wooldoor: Ooh, I could never say that. Those are bad words.
Foxxy: Ooh, if they ain't beeping, maybe they ain't blurring nothing. Quick, fool, whip it out!
Wooldoor: What?
Foxxy: Show me your cock.
Wooldoor: I thought you'd never ask. (unzips his pants off) Whee!
Foxxy: Oh, Wooldoor, you've been holding out on me!
Wooldoor: Whoa! I've actually never seen my penis unblurred before. It's way blacker than I thought it would be.
Foxxy: You know what this means? I was right! There is a mystery to be solved. And I's gonna solve it. Thanks, Wooldoor.
Wooldoor: So, little fella. let's go get you a burger. Whee!

Captain Hero: Psst! That guard outfit makes you look fat.
Ryan the Rhino Guard: It does? [runs off crying]
Another Rhino Guard: Oh, great! Now I'll have to deal with that all night. Ryan, wait up!

I.S.R.A.E.L.: I.S.R.A.E.L. must kill you all
Xandir: Wait, can't we just work something out?
I.S.R.A.E.L.: I.S.R.A.E.L. must be aggressive to survive. It's a common sense policy

Jew Son: Hey, after that, Jew Dad, can we play a little catch?
Jew Producer: Of course, Jew Son. Gosh, I love you. I don't know what I'd do if anything would happen to you. Oh, how emotionally invested I am in you staying safe and remaining alive, as would anyone watching us right now. [his cell phone rings] Oh, no.
Jew Wife: Don't you dare answer that! It's Shabbat!
Jew Producer: But it's work! It must be important if the boss is calling today.
Jew Wife: I don't care if it's Moses himself. Do NOT answer that!

Clara: What the... [walks into the king, who is not her father at all] Who the fuck are you? [everyone gasps]
King: I am the king!
Clara: The king? You are not the king. My father is the king, which makes me the princess.
Real Princess: Father, I think this peasant has gone mad with the plague... [spinning around, during which time we get to see her vagina under her dress] for everyone knows I am the true princess of the land.

Xandir: [to a crying Clara] Oh, it's OK, Clara. So we're not who we think we are. So what, right?
Clara: So what? If I'm not a princess, then I'm just another beautiful virgin with real C-cups and a super-tight ass that continuously vibrates and tastes like wild berries.

Xandir: Come on, Clara!
Clara: No. I have nothing to live for anymore. I'm not a princess. Now go. I'll slow them down for you. It's the only way.
Xandir: Thanks, Clara. You'll always to be a princess to me. Here.
Clara: No, you keep them. They're of no use to me now.
Xandir: I'll treasure them always.
Clara: Wait, Xandir. do me one favor. Live your gay life to the fullest.
Xandir: Will do.
Clara: Everyday's a gift.
Xandir: Gotcha.
Clara: And find that one special person.
Xandir: Sure thing. Bye!
Clara: And hold him close and tell him with all your heart. That you can't marry him. The Bible forbids it.
Xandir: I really gotta go.
Clara: (her last words) Okay, bye! Don't adopt!
[Xandir runs off and Clara stays behind and jams torches into her arm stumps, then makes a kamikaze dash into the pursuing line of guards. The guards end up killing her]

External links[edit]