You humans act so strange. Everything you create is used to destroy.
Listen lady, I only speak two languages: English and bad English.
Don't watch that stuff all day, sweetie. It'll rot your brain.
To his cross-eyed cat, as she watches television
[referring to Leeloo's escape from the police] We got lucky. If they don't chase you after a mile, they don't chase ya. [Back shot of Korban's taxi, with 4 advancing cops in a diamond configuration] Maybe it's two miles. Hang on.
Look lady, I'm all for a conversation but maybe you can just SHUT UP for a minute.
My dear Aknot, what about those two little planes you borrowed? [sees Aknot's human face] Aknot, is that you? What an ugly face. It doesn't suit you. Take it off. [Aknot's face transforms into a Mangalore's] Much better. Never be ashamed of who you are. You're warriors, be proud. So what if the Federal Government scattered your people into the wind? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your time for revenge is at hand. Voila! The ZF-1. [activates a ZF-1 and holds it] It's light; handle's adjustable for easy carrying; good for righties and lefties; breaks down into four parts; undetectable by X-ray; ideal for quick discreet interventions. A word on firepower. Titanium recharger; 3000-round clip with bursts of 3 to 300. And with the replay button, another Zorg invention, it's even easier. [lights reveal a mannequin in police gear] One shot... [shoots mannequin]...and replay sends every following shot to the same location. [turns around, shooting in the direction of the Mangalores; bullets curve their trajectory and hit the mannequin instead] And to finish the job, all the Zorg oldies-but-goldies. [fires every weapon at the mannequin as he mentions them] Rocket launcher... arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous gas heads, very practical... our famous net launcher... the always-efficient flamethrower, my favorite... [winks to the Mangalores] and for the grand finale, the all-new 'Ice-cube System'! [fires a cloud of liquid nitrogen which freezes the remains of the mannequin. Mangalores applaud politely by carnage]
I don't like warriors. Too narrow-minded, no subtlety. And worse, they fight for hopeless causes. Honor? Huh! Honor's killed millions of people, it hasn't saved a single one. Tell you what I do like though: a killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF-1, he would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun. [a Mangalore presses the button, detonating a large explosive] Bring me the priest.
Torture who you have to. The President, I don't care. Just bring me those stones. You have one hour.
BRAVO! Bravo! My compliments, little lady. Thank you for doing all the dirty work. I couldn't have done the job myself. Hand over the stones.
[listening to people screaming and panicking] I know this music... [plants a bomb] Let's change the beat.
If you want something done, do it yourself!
[laughs maniacally] ...They're not here... [begins to cry in distress]
I... am... VERY... DISAPPOINTED!
[Has just disarmed his own bomb, with 5 seconds to go, then sees a Mangalore bomb being activated by remote controller, the counter starts from 5 seconds] Oh no. [bomb explodes]
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Korben, sweetheart, what was that? IT WAS BAD! It had nothing! No fire, no energy, no nothin'! You know I have a show to run here, you know? Hmm? Hmm? And it must pop, Pop, POP! So tomorrow from five to seven, will you please act like you have more than a two word vo-cab-uh-lary? It must be green, OK? OK?
And now we enter what must be the most beautiful concert hall of all the universe! A perfect replica of the old opera house! ...But who cares?
What's wrong with you?! What you screaming for?! Every five minutes there's a bomb or somethin'! I'm leavin'! BZZZZT! [exits in the end]
Korben, I don't like GUNS, Korben. This ain't me, man.
To my left, Baby Ray, star of stage and screen; he's not gonna get much out of this concert 'cause he's STONE DEAF! And here we have Roy 'Bomb' Baker--king of laser ball. Over there, the emperor of Kodar Japhet and his lovely daughter...'I love to sing', she recently conveyed to me. By the way, I have a recording of her talented voice. (plays moaning sounds)
This boy is fueled like fire, so start melting ladies cuz the boy is hotter than hot he's hot, hot, HOT! The right size, right build, right hair, right on (RIGHT ON, RIGHT ON) Right on, right on! And he's got something to say to those fifty billion pairs of ear out there. Pop it D-man! [(Korben speaks) Umm, hi]. Unbelievable! Quiver ladies, quiver he's gonna set the world on fire. Right here from 5 to 7 you'll learn everything there is to know about the Deeeee-man. His dreams, his desires, his most intimate of intimates. And from what I'm lookin' at, intimate is this stud-muffin's middle name. So tell me my man, (drums) you nervous in the service? (drums) [(Korben) Mmmhmm, not really]. Freeze those knees my chickadees, cuz Ruby's in the place and he's on the case. Yesterday's frog will be tomorrow's prince, of Fhloston Paradise! The hotel of a thousand and one follies, lollies, and lick 'em lollies. A magic fountain flow of non stop wine, women and cootchie cootchie coo! (sings) All night long. All night long, all night!! ...And start licking your stamps little girls, this guy's gonna have you writing home to Momma! Right here from 5 to 7, I'll be your voice, your tongue and I'll be hot on the tail of the sexiest man of the year... D-man... Your man... My man.
Father Vito Cornelius: Where's the robot to pat you on the back? Or the engineer? Or the children, maybe? There, you see now, how all your so-called power counts for absolutely nothing now, how your entire empire can come crashing down because of one... little... cherry.
Father Vito Cornelius: Evil begets evil, Mr. President. Shooting will only make it stronger.
Professor Pacoli: Aziz! Light!
Professor Pacoli: Aziz! Light! [powerful lights from the Mondoshawan spaceship turn on] Much better. Thank you, Aziz.
Professor Pacoli: [to Mondoshawan guardians] Are you German?
Ms. Gemini Croquette: [in contest commercial] Perfect meal for a perfect world.
Staedert: My philosophy Mr President, shoot first and ask questions later. I don't like uninvited guests.
Mangalore: For the honor...
(at beginning) "Time is not important, only life is important."
Flight Attendant: Mr. Rhod, you are going to have to assume your individual position.
Ruby Rhod: I don't want one position, I want all positions!
Leeloo: You humans act so strange.
Korben Dallas: What do you mean?
Leeloo: Everything you create, you use to destroy.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, we call it human nature.
Police Officer: Sir, are you classified as human?
Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
Father Vito Cornelius: What are you doing?
Korben Dallas: Trying to save your ass so you can save the world.
Korben Dallas: What's your name?
Leeloo: Leeloo Minaï Lekatariba-Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat.
Korben Dallas: Good. That... that whole thing's your name, huh? Do you have, uh... a shorter name?
Ruby Rhod: We’ll find out everything there is to know about the D man: his dreams, his desires, his most intimates of intimates, and from what I’m looking at, intimate is this stud muffin’s middle name! So tell me my man, are you nervous in the service?
Korben Dallas: Mmm... not really.
Ruby Rhod: Korben, my man, what are ya doing?
Korben Dallas: Tryin' to keep ya in the DJ business.
Korben Dallas: Oh, you speak English now.
Leeloo: Yes. I learned.
Korben Dallas: Good. Listen, we're not on vacation. We're on a mission, a very important mission. I work with some very important people. If I hadn't come and get you, you would've been in very big trouble, you understand that? You understand, 'big trouble'?
Leeloo: Yes...You no trouble. Me... Fifth element... supreme being... me protect you.
Mr. Kim: You got a message.
Korben Dallas: Yeah.
Mr. Kim: Better check it. Might be important.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, like the last two I got were important. The first one was from my wife, telling me she was leaving. The second was from my lawyer, telling me he was leaving with my wife.
Mr. Kim: Agh, that is bad luck. But grandfather say, "It never rain everyday". This is good news, guaranteed. Hey, I bet your lunch!
Korben Dallas: Okay, you're on.
Mr. Kim: Come on. [opens message, in a excited voice] 'You are fired.' [face falls] Oh, I'm sorry.
Korben Dallas: At least I won lunch.
Mr. Kim: Good philosophy! See good in bad. I like.
Zorg's secretary: Mr. Zorg's office.
Aknot: It's Aknot.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: I'm so glad to hear you, Aknot.
Aknot: The mission is accomplished. You have what you asked for a few hours.
Jean-Baptiste: Good. I'll meet you at my factory.
Billy: When is this "Snake" act supposed to occur?
Professor Pacoli: Well, if this is the five and this is the one... [mumbling in Italian] ...every 5,000 years.
Billy: So I've got some time.
[Korben appears before Cornelius' door, holding Leeloo in his arms]
Father Vito Cornelius: Yes?
Korben Dallas: I'm, uh…looking for a priest.
Father Vito Cornelius: Weddings are one floor down, my son. Congratulations.
General Munro: [after telling Korben about the mission] Any questions?
Korben Dallas: Yeah. Just one. Why me? I retired six months ago. You remember?
General Munro: Three reasons. One: as a member of the elite special forces unit of the Federated Army, you are expert in the use of all major weapons & space craft needed for this mission. [unravels a list five feet long] Two: of all the members of your unit, you were the most highly decorated.
Korben Dallas: And the third one?
General Munro: Of all the members of your unit, you're the only one left alive.
[Cornelius bursts into Korben's room and holds him at gunpoint]
Father Vito Cornelius: I'm really sorry to have to resort to these methods, Mr. Willis…
Korben Dallas: Dallas.
Father Vito Cornelius: Er, Mr. Dallas. But we heard about your good luck on the radio, and we need your tickets for Fhloston.
Korben Dallas: Is this how priests normally take vacations?
Father Vito Cornelius: We're not on a vacation, we're on a mission!
Korben Dallas: What mission is that?
Father Vito Cornelius: We have to save the world, my son.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: This case is empty.
[Switches to conversation between Cornelius and Leeloo; Leeloo is laughing]
Father Vito Cornelius: What do you mean, empty?
[Back to conversation between Zorg and Aknot]
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Empty. The opposite of full. This case is supposed to be FULL! Anyone care to explain?
[Back to Leeloo, speaking in the Divine Language]
Father Vito Cornelius: The guardians... gave the stones.. to someone they could trust... who-who another route... she's supposed to contact this person... in a hotel... and she's looking for the address. Easy.
Leeloo: [points to the computer screen] Dot.
David: It's-it's planet Fhloston, in the Angel Constellation!
Father Vito Cornelius: [sighs in relief] We're saved.
[back to Zorg and Aknot]
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: I'm screwed!
Aknot: You asked for a case. We brought you a case.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: A CASE WITH FOUR STONES IN IT! NOT ONE OR TWO OR THREE, BUT FOUR! FOUR STONES! W-WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH AN EMPTY CASE?!
Aknot: We are warriors, not merchants.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: BUT YOU CAN STILL COUNT! Look, it's easy. Look at my fingers. Four stones, [Aknot looks away; Zorg slaps his face back into position] four crates [of guns]. Zero stones, ZERO CRATES![To his men] Pack everything up! We're outta here!
[Mangalores hoist their guns with a roar]
Aknot: We risked our lives! I believe a little compensation is in order.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Oh, so you are merchants after all. Leave them one crate for the cause.
Korben Dallas: We need to find the leader. Mangalores don't fight without their leaders.
Aknot: [stands up, holding a pistol to Father Vito Cornelius' head] One more shot, we start killing hostages!
Korben Dallas: That's the leader.
Aknot: Send someone to negotiate!
Fog: [shrugging and stammering] I…I never negotiated before.
Korben Dallas: You mind if I…try?
Fog: No, no, sure, sure…sure. [yells to the Mangalores] We're sending somebody in to negotiate!
[Korben strides through the door, levels his weapon and fires a single shot into Aknot's forehead. Aknot falls to the floor with a thump, leaving Father Vito in shock and the other Mangalores stunned]
Korben Dallas: [pointing the gun around] Anybody else want to negotiate?
Fog: [to Ruby Rhod] W-where did he learn to negotiate like that?
[cut to the war room, where President Lindberg is listening to Ruby Rhod's radio broadcast and glaring at a sheepish General Munro]
President Lindberg: I wonder.
Leeloo: Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass. Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: [to check-in attendent] Yeah, this is my wife, Leeloo.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, multipass, she knows it's a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Korben Dallas: We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen...
Korben Dallas: Yes, she knows it's a multipass! Anyways, we're in love.
Ruby Rhod: Aw, shit, 3 coming, Korben, 3...
Korben: (Ruby Rhod screaming) Listen, you guard this with your life or you're going to look like this guy here, you green?
Ruby Rhod: G-Green.
Korben Dallas: Supergreen?
Ruby Rhod: Supergreen?
President Lindberg: [happens] Is that's your idea to of a discreet operation?
General Munro: [continues] D-D-Don't worry, sir, I know my man, he'll calm things down.
President Lindberg: Major Dallas, I first would like to salute a warrior. You are a shining example of this army's might. In the name of the Federation and its territory—
Korben Dallas: Mister President, Mister President. Any idea when you're gonna be getting to the point?
President Lindberg: [sighs] Okay. There's a ball of fire 1,200 miles in diameter heading straight for Earth, and we have no idea how to stop it. That's the problem.
Korben Dallas: How much time do we have?
Scientist's aide: If its speed remains constant, an hour and fifty-seven minutes.
Korben Dallas: I'll call you back in two hours. [hangs up]
President Lindberg: Hello? Hello? Hello?
[checks on Leeloo and Korben's healing process. They are "occupied"]
Professor Mactillberg: Uh, they're... not ready. They need... five more minutes.
President Lindberg: You have twenty seconds.
Flight attendant: Miss?
Leeloo: [the only phrase she currently knows] Multipass!
Dispatch: All units respond in pursuit of yellow cab, Level 10.
Police officer getting lunch at McDonalds: [talking into radio] Unit 47, we're on the way [hangs up radio] as soon as we finish lunch.; I'm too old, too tired, too hungry to go chase some hot rod. And I'm definitely too thirsty.
Korben Dallas: [yells] Look out! [sideswipes police officer, causing his lunch to go all over him his crashes, and his drink to spatter in his face]
Police officer: [moment later] Whoa...
Ruby Rhod: My man? My man? My man, what's this thing with all these numbers?
Vito Cornelius: It's a- It's a- It's a- It's a-
Ruby Rhod: No no no no no no no no. 'Cause if it was a bomb, the alarms would go off because all these hotels have bomb detectors, right?
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: It's nice to see you again, Father.
Priest Vito Cornelius: Ah, I remember you now. The so-called art dealer.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: I'm glad you got your memory back. Because you're gonna need it.
[directs his men out of his office]
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Where are the stones?
Priest Vito Cornelius: I don't know. And even if I did know, I wouldn't tell somebody like you.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Why? What's wrong with me?
Priest Vito Cornelius: I try to serve life. But you only…seem to want to destroy it.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Oh, Father, you're so wrong. Let me explain. [closes office door, places an empty glass on desk] Life, which you so nobly serve, comes from destruction, disorder and chaos. Take this empty glass. Here it is, peaceful, serene and boring. But if it is [Pushes glass off table] destroyed… [robot cleaners move to clean broken glass] Look at all these little things. So busy now. Notice how each one is useful. What a lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color. Now, think about all those people that created them. Technicians, engineers, hundreds of people who'll be able to feed their children tonight so those children can grow up big and strong and have little teeny weeny children of their own, and so on and so forth. Thus, adding to the great chain…of life. [Desk prepares a glass of water and a bowl of fruit] You see, Father, by creating a little destruction, I'm actually encouraging life. In reality, you and I are in the same business. Cheers.
[He drinks the water with cherry, only to choke when the cherry sticks in his throat. Zorg frantically presses all the buttons on his desk in an attempt to get something to clear his throat]
Priest Vito Cornelius: Where's the robot to pat you in the back? Or the engineer? Or their children, maybe? [Desk brings out Zorg's pet Picasso; Zorg motions it to try and help him] There, you see how all your so-called power counts for absolutely nothing? How your entire empire of destruction comes crashing down. All because of one…little…cherry. [slaps Zorg in the back, causing him to spit the cherry at Picasso]
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: [opens doors, throws Cornelius to guards] You saved my life, and in return, I'll spare yours. For now.
Priest Vito Cornelius: You're a monster, Zorg.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: I know.
[directs guards to take Cornelius away]
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: [snaps fingers] Torture who you have to. The President, I don't care. Just bring me those stones. You have one hour.
Shadow: It's Shadow...
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Zorg here.
Shadow: Am I disturbing you?
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Oh no... no, no... I was... just... W-Where are you?
Shadow: Not far now.
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Good... good, good...
Shadow: How are the stones?
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: Fine... fine, just fine... I'll, I'll have the... ah... I'll have the four stones you asked for anytime now... but, but it wasn't easy. My costs... have tripled.
Shadow: Money is of... no importance. I... want... the... STONES...
Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg: The stones... will be here... I'll see to it personally...