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The Flintstones (film)

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The Flintstones is a 1994 film directed by Brian Levant, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Elizabeth Perkins, and Rosie O'Donnell.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!(taglines)

Fred Flintstone

[edit]
  • Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife. In my cave, I reign supreme. SUPREME! [Barney promises not to tell Wilma] Thanks, pal!
  • [Barney asks him what to call him now] Simply your highness will do.
  • [Miss Stone asks him how he'd like his coffee] Uhh, in a cup.
  • Mr. Slate, I don't think you hired me just to sit here and look pretty. [he picks up a model house] I hate to burst your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who is going to live in them?
  • Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth! [The dictabird repeats what he says] Okay, now you talk and see how much I can remember.
  • [Wilma tells him his secretary is very attractive] Really? I didn't notice. Did I mention she could chisel 18 words a minute?
  • [Dino takes a steak from the grill] Hey Barn, you like your steak rare, right? Well, that one's yours.
  • [Pearl asks him if he's lost weight] Have we met?
  • [confronting Cliff when he's trying to escape being caught for his schemes] Cliff, it's time for you and me to "interface". [Pounds his fist into his hand]
  • [repeated line] Yabba-dabba-doo!

Barney Rubble

[edit]
  • [The adoption agent shows them a monkey] Well, he's not really what we expected, but we'll love him like he was our own.
  • Someday, I'll pay him back! Someday, somehow.
  • Come on, say "Dadda"! (Bamm-Bamm keeps saying his own name)
  • [to Fred about getting a job as a vice president] That does it! The only reason you got that job is 'cause I switched tests with you.
  • Can I have everyone's attention, please? (Caveman: I hope it's not another poem)
  • (An angry mob about to hang Fred asks him if he knows him) Well, he used to be my best friend. In fact, it's probably because of me that you all are in this mess. (Mob leader: Hang them both.)
  • [Fred says he's only one man] Not from the back.
  • [After Fred needs a couple of Bucks] NOT THIS TIME!!!

Wilma Flintstone

[edit]
  • Fred! And promise me you won't say anything like you did when you saw my sister's baby.
  • [Miss Stone tells her she's heard so much about her] Well I wish that I could say the same.

Betty Rubble

[edit]
  • You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.
  • One day, we'll look back on this and laugh.

Cliff Vandercave

[edit]
  • I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
  • Son of a Brachiosaurus!
  • Oh, this is far from over.

Miss Sharon Stone

[edit]
  • [Cliff asks her why the quarry workers are down there and he's up here] Because you lied on your resume.
  • I'm glad we eye to eye.
  • [Comes in with aptitude test scores] Well, Cliff. The test results are in.
  • Believe it not, the one who scored the highest was Fred Flintstone. [Cliff goes on about how dumb he is] He's perfect!
  • Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know that I enjoy working long hours, late nights, even weekends, so feel free to use me however you see fit.
  • Now! Can I get you anything? Coffee?
  • [Fred says sure] (seductive whisper) How would you like it?
  • [Fred says in a cup] Bold choice Mr. Flintstone. You'll go far in this company.
  • Well I've been a bad girl. But you've got to admit, I was very, very good at it. (winks seductively)
  • [After finishing the fake requisitioning forms] There! Done!
  • [Cliff says Fred is about to embezzled money with them keeping it] We can have Mr. Flintstone sign these right away.
  • [After Fred wrecks the model] Oh! What happened here?
  • Mr. Flintstone? I sure hope I didn't get you into too much trouble with your wife the other day.
  • [to Wilma] I've heard so much about you.
  • [after knocking out Cliff] Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?
  • Good morning, Mr. Flint... [Fred storms on by angrily]
  • [Cliff asks her where she's been] With Fred. I mean, Mr. Flintstone.
  • [to Cliff about Fred] I'm worried, Cliff. He's smarter than we thought. [Cliff says he must be to dress himself] He's been asking a lot of questions. I think we should just call the whole thing off.
  • [Cliff is suing Fred for embezzlement] (to Fred) You'd better got out of here while you still have a chance.
  • [being arrested] Mr. Flintstone? I may not be in on Monday.
  • Oh, Cliff? How come there's only one ticket to Rockapulco?
  • Forgive me, Cliff.
  • Looks like you've thought of everything.
  • That's Flintstone's wife.
  • Well, Cliff. I guess you haven't thought of everything.

Dialogue

[edit]
Worker 1: Come on, you lazy Cro-Magnon!
Worker 2: Ohh!
Foreman: Hey! Back to work! You guys had a break two days ago! Come on, now!
Worker: Come on, Sheba! That's my big girl!
Cliff Vandercave: Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
Miss Sharon Stone: Because you lied on your resume?
Cliff Vandercave: No. Because I have vision. And right now I have a vision of you and me... Dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rocapulco... With Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
Miss Sharon Stone: I'm glad we see eye to eye.
Cliff Vandercave: And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
Fred Flintstone: Yabba-dabba-doo!
The BC-52's: [singing] Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba doo time
A dabba-doo time
Airplane Pilot: We'll have a gay old time the captain has just turned on the seat belt sign... Signaling our descent into the Bedrock area. On your left, you'll be able to see the Grand Canyon in about 15,000,000 years.
Chorus: K-A-V-E
Radio Bedrock
Announcer: Hey! The KAVE accu-forecast for tonight calls for light seismic activity. And a 20 percent chance of meteor showers. Quick traffic update, due to lava flows, Highway One will be closed... Forever!
Chorus: K-A-V-E
Molten Oldie
Fred and Barney: Sow belly, pot of beans
Tie a rope around your jeans
Tell your mom not to wait
You ain't coming home too late
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch
There's a town I know where the hipsters go called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
When you get that itch you can do the Twitch
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
Fred Flintstone: 'Cause the Twitch is finebr
Have yourself a time
In Bedrock
Barney Rubble: Drum solo!
Fred Flintstone: Hey! Watch it, will ya? Finally got my hair the way I like it.
Barney Rubble I'm so excited, Fred. I'm gonna be a father. It's like a dream come true. A son. Someone to carry on the proud name of Rubble. Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you're bound to find something you're good at.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, sure... Hey! Uncle!
Fred Flintstone: Heh, heh, heh.
Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, Betty and I really owe it all to you. We would've never qualified to adopt had it not been for the money you gave us.
Fred Flintstone: Remember, Barn, that's between you and me.
Barney Rubble: I'd like to tell the world what a great guy my best buddy is!
Fred Flintstone: No, no, no! True, it was a selfless, noble act, if I do say so myself. My only reward will be your happiness. I don't need to go blabbin' my good deeds all around.
Barney Rubble: You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?
Fred Flintstone: Afraid? Now, let's get this straight, Rubble. I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme! Su-preme!
Barney Rubble: I won't tell her, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, pal.
Barney Rubble: Hiya, Timmy!
Boy: Here you go! Shoot, shoot, shoot!
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Charlie!
Dino: Huh?
Fred Flintstone: Wilma! I'm home! No, Dino! No, no! No, Dino! Bad boy! Bad dog! Good doggie! Bad Dino breath.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! Do you have to get Dino so wound up when you come home?
Fred Flintstone: It's not my fault. Maybe he'd calm down if we had him fixed!
Dino: What?
Fred Flintstone: Here comes the big Daddysaurus!
Wilma Flintstone: How was your day, dear?
Fred Flintstone: I think my Brontocrane's pregnant again. I tell ya, you forget to lock her up one Saturday night...
Wilma Flintstone: Comfortable, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: On my way. All I need's a brew and a good scratch. Which one do you want to do first?
Wilma Flintstone: It does my heart good to see you relaxing after a hard day at the quarry.
Fred Flintstone: I'm telling you, I married the pick of the litter.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, our garbage disposal has been acting up a lot lately, so I decided that it was time to buy a new one. But when I went to take money out of our savings account... Guess what?
Fred Flintstone: New garbage disposal? New garbage disposal? Why throw good money down the drain? There's nothing wrong with this one. All right, you. Say "ahh."
Pigasaurus: Uh-uh.
Wilma Flintstone: Do you have any idea why there's no money in our savings account?
Fred Flintstone: There's your problem right there. All right, you! Spit it out!
Wilma Flintstone: Where's the money, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Something happened to it. There, I said it.
Wilma Flintstone: We have scrimped and saved for that money. And every time we get ahead, you have to go blow it on some hare-brained scheme!
Fred Flintstone: Now, see here, Wilma! In this cave, I am the king! And...
Wilma Flintstone: And what, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: And you have every right to know, my queen. I gave it to Barney.
Wilma Flintstone: You what?
Fred Flintstone: I know I should've consulted you, but Barney Rubble's my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, without that money, they wouldn't be allowed to adopt a baby. So go ahead, yell, scream, let the fur fly. Give the neighbors something to talk about!
Wilma Flintstone: What you have just done for the Rubbles... Is the sweetest, most generous thing I ever heard. And I adore you for it. Mmm.
Fred Flintstone: I also bought a new bowling ball.
Woman: Wait! Come on, honey!
Driver: Watch your step.
Woman: Sit down.
Driver: All right, all together, folks.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty, sit down and relax.
Betty Rubble: Oh, I can't, Wilma. It just hit me. From now on, I'll be spending 24 hours a day attending to the every need of a helpless little boy. Then again, maybe it won't be such a big adjustment after all.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! And promise you won't say anything like you did when you saw my sister's baby.
Fred Flintstone: The kid had a tail. Was I supposed to pretend I didn't notice?
Mrs. Pyrite: Hello, Mommy and Daddy! I have someone who wants to meet you!
Barney Rubble: Well, it's not exactly what we pictured, but... We'll love him like he was our own.
Mrs. Pyrite: No, no, no. This little fellow belongs to the Hendersons. So glad you'll be nursing.
Wilma Flintstone: Congratulations.
Mrs. Pyrite: Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.
Betty Rubble: Barney, isn't he precious?
Fred Flintstone: Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
Betty Rubble: Does he have a name?
Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm.
Barney Rubble: Is that short for somethin'?
Mrs. Pyrite: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. [about Bamm-Bamm] You're going to have to take it slowly with this one. He doesn't speak yet and is a little skittish around humans, but then again, I would be too if I'd been raised by wild mastodons. [laughs]
Barney and Betty: Mastodons?!
Mrs. Pyrite: Let's not nit-pick, a mammal's a mammal.
Barney Rubble: Well, sounds to me like all he needs is a little lovin'.
Betty Rubble: Ohh.
Barney Rubble: Come here, little guy. Aah! He growled.
Betty Rubble: It's cute.
Barney Rubble: It's okay, little guy. I'm your da-da.
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh! Barney!
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Betty!
Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm! No! Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm, wait!
Singer: Stalactite, stalagmite
Hold your baby very tight
Betty Rubble: Come back!
Barney Rubble: Come here, little guy!
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm! Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
Barney Rubble: Ohhh!
Singer: Rock with the caveman
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm-Bamm!
Singer: Roll with the caveman
Shake to the caveman
Break with the caveman
Bamm-Bamm: Oof!
Singer: Make with the caveman
Okay, give me a C-A-V-E
Barney Rubble: Whoa!
Singer: M-A-N, Caveman
Barney Rubble: Whoa! What an arm!
Betty Rubble: "And Cinderocka married the handsome prince, and... "And they lived happily ever after."
Man: Yeah!
Barney Rubble: Okay, Brother Flintstone, we need a strike to win. Can you do it?
Fred Flintstone: Is the Earth flat?
Barney Rubble: Come on, Freddie!
Man: Come on, hit it!
Barney Rubble: Come on, twinkle toes.
All: Fred!
Hoagie: Waka-waka-woo!
All: Waka-waka-woo!
Hoagie: Wooga-wooga-wee!
All: Wooga-wooga-wee! Piki-piki-piki! Poki-poki-poki!! Ahhhhhhhh-oooh!
Barney Rubble: Lava juice! Hey, can I have everybody's attention, please? I would like to propose a toast to not only a great bowler, but a great human being. And no offense to you guys. "Since I was just a lad often, I've had the very bestest friend. "He may be big, he may be loud, "so you'll never lose him in a crowd. "But for my friend the special part... "Is what's behind his ribs... His heart." "I owe my son to him, and now... "I stand before my peers and vow... "I'll pay him back, someday, somehow." The end.
Fred Flintstone: That was beautiful, Barn.
Barney Rubble: I meant every word of it, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Care to join me in a cold one?
Barney Rubble: Love to.
Hoagie: It doesn't get any better than this.
Fred Flintstone: Ohh! No.
Pearl Slaghoople: Look at him. Drunk as a skunkosaurus.
Fred Flintstone: Aaaah!
Wilma Flintstone: Mother, I can handle this.
Fred Flintstone: What's that old fossil doing here? Did the tar pits back up again?
Pearl Slaghoople: Well, somebody has to be here looking after my daughter and grandchild... While you're out carousing with a bunch of Neanderthals.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Well, for your information, the lodge no longer accepts Neanderthals.
Pearl Slaghoople: He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.
Fred Flintstone: I got half a mind...
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, don't flatter yourself.
Fred Flintstone: That's it! Where's my club, Wilma?
Pearl Slaghoople: You just try it, fatso!
Fred Flintstone: If you was a man, I'd knock you...
Wilma Flintstone: Enough! Mother! Fred! You two should be ashamed of yourselves!
Pearl Slaghoople: I've got my hands full just being ashamed of him.
Fred Flintstone: You got your hands full when you scratch your neck!
Wilma Flintstone: Stop it! Both of you! Mother, Fred is a loving husband and a good provider.
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, really? What has he ever provided you besides shade? Oh, Wilma. You could've married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel. Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse.
Fred Flintstone: Let me tell you something, Pearl. I'm not going to be a nobody all my life. One of these days, I'm gonna be a somebody, a real somebody! We'll live in luxury, and Wilma will have everything she deserves. When that day comes, you'll be so busy eatin' crow you'll be passing feathers for a month!
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, you poor, poor dear. And when I think of all the sacrifices your father made for you. Lambs, oxen, your brother Jerry.
Wilma Flintstone: Well...
Pearl Slaghoople: Oh, Wilma. Do your mother a favor. Just call Elliot Firestone. Even if things don't work out, he can give you a great deal on some tires.
Wilma Flintstone: Yes, Mother.
Pearl Slaghoople: Byesie-bye.
Fred Flintstone: I'll show her. I'll show everybody.
Wilma Flintstone: I know you will, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: Call me fatso.
Wilma Flintstone: Let's get some sleep.
Man: Hey, what's the special?
Bird: This job sucks.
Joe Rockhead: What you got today?
Hoagie: Lizard and onions. Want half?
Joe Rockhead: Sure.
Barney Rubble: You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.
Fred Flintstone: What a load of bunk. My father ate it every day of his life, he lived to the ripe old age of 38.
Cliff Vandercave: Your attention please. May I have your attention! I have a very important announcement to make.
Barney Rubble: You found out why the guys in pit six are losing their hair?
Cliff Vandercave: Yes! And we are currently in the process of refuting the results of that investigation. But today I am here to formally announce the creation of Slate and Company's executive placement program. Hold your questions, please. That's right, this Saturday an aptitude test will be given, granting one of you the opportunity to crawl out of the primordial ooze and be somebody. A vice president at Slate and Company, with an obscene salary and a shiny nameplate.
All: Ooh.
Cliff Vandercave: Good luck, and may the best biped win.
Fred Flintstone: An executive? This is my chance to be somebody. Be somebody.
Pebbles: Whee! Higher, Bamm-Bamm, higher! Higher! Higher! Whee!
Betty Rubble: Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm?
Betty Rubble: How did you get rid of the ring around the collar?
Wilma Flintstone: I just started washing Fred's neck.
Betty Rubble: Hmm. You know, Wilma, if Fred scores the highest on that test, you'll be able to hire someone to do your laundry for you.
Wilma Flintstone: If Fred scores the highest on that test, I'll have to hire someone to revive me.
Betty Rubble: Oh, it's true, Fred's no Albert Einstone. But you never know, he may surprise you.
Pebbles: Whee!
Wilma Flintstone: Well, maybe. He has been studying day and night.
Pebbles: Whee!
Betty Rubble: I know! I've never seen him so excited about something you couldn't spread mayonnaise on.
Fred Flintstone: You know, Barn, I've been thinking about this executive job. It's not me. Cooped up inside some swank office all day, kissing the big shot's feet. Not Fred Flintstone. Why, good afternoon, Mr. Vandercave. My, that's a handsome pelt you're wearing today.
Cliff Vandercave: Thank you. Your attention, please! Please take your seats. And welcome. You will have one hour to complete the exam. Please carve all answers with a well-sharpened No. 2 chisel. On behalf of Slate and Company, I want to wish you all the very best of luck. Let's begin.
Fred Flintstone: Eeee! Ohh.
Cliff Vandercave: Chisels down. Please slide your answer slab into the numbered envelope provided and stack them neatly on my desk.
Barney Rubble: Psst! Hey, Fred! How'd you do?
Fred Flintstone: How'd I do? How'd I do?
Barney Rubble: You want me to take that up for you?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah. Thanks, pal.
Barney Rubble: "And I stand before my peers and vow, "I'll pay him back, someday, somehow."
Miss Sharon Stone: Well, Cliff, the test results are in.
Cliff Vandercave: And our unsuspecting dupe is?
Miss Sharon Stone: Believe it or not, the one who scored the highest was Fred Flintstone.
Cliff Vandercave: That big ape?
Miss Sharon Stone: No, the big ape got a 65.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone? Oh, this can't be right! He must have cheated. He's dense, he's witless...
Miss Sharon Stone: He's perfect.
Cliff Vandercave: The results of the exam were very competitive, and just because an applicant was not selected... is no indication of lack of ability. I am pleased to announce...
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, I know a kiss-off when I hear one. Let's go, Barn.
Cliff Vandercave: That the newest member of our executive rank is Mr. Fred Flintstone!
All: Huh?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, quick. What's my name?
Barney Rubble: Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Don't toy with me, Barney.
Barney Rubble: You did it, Fred! You made it!
Fred Flintstone: Yabba-dabba-dabba-doo!
All: [cheering]
Wilma Flintstone: Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
Fred Flintstone: Good morning, Mrs. Vice President. Oh, Dino! Oh, Dino, no! Hey!
Dino: Mmm!
Fred Flintstone: Atta baby!
Wilma Flintstone: Oh...
Pebbles: Good boy, Dino.
Fred Flintstone: Well, how do I look?
Pebbles: Daddy pretty.
Wilma Flintstone: It's perfect!
Mastodon: Yeah. Snazzy.
Barney Rubble: So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
Fred Flintstone: No, a simple "Your Highness" will do. No, Barn. I'm not gonna be one of these guys that makes it then forgets where he came from. The first thing I'm gonna do is get everyone in the quarry some vacation time. And maybe a health plan with free foot care.
Barney Rubble: Gee, Fred, I'd settle for them little packets of ketchup for the lunch room.
Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, hey.
Barney Rubble: Well, I guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get 'em, big guy.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
Cliff Vandercave: Welcome aboard, Flintstone! We're glad you're here. Nice suit! You know, Fred, any gravel brain can shovel rock down in the quarry, but up here... Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone: Me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave: We interface, Flintstone. We strategize, analyze, conceptualize, prioritize...
Fred Flintstone: When do we eat?
Cliff Vandercave: Fred, until this moment I wasn't sure we'd picked the right man. Now I'm certain. Fred Flintstone, you've arrived.
Fred Flintstone: This is my office?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right.
Fred Flintstone: This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave: Mmm-hmm. Not to throw too much at you on your first day, but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone: My desk?
Cliff Vandercave: Watch out for your fingers in the drawers.
Miss Sharon Stone: [enters Fred's office] Ahem! Am I interrupting?
Cliff Vandercave: Not at all. Fred, I'd like you to meet Miss Sharon Stone. She's going to be your secretary.
Fred Flintstone: My secretary?
Miss Sharon Stone: Personal secretary, Mr. Flintstone, that is of course, if you want me.
[Fred's tie rolls up to his chin]
Cliff Vandercave: Well, then, I the two of you could get better acquainted. [closes the doors]
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like you to know that I enjoy working long hours, late nights, even weekends, so feel free to use me however you see fit. Now! Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Fred Flintstone: Sure.
Miss Sharon Stone: [seductive whisper] How would you like it?
Fred Flintstone: In a cup.
Miss Sharon Stone: Bold choice Mr. Flintstone. You'll go far in this company.
Fred Flintstone: Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh... Tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fli... Ah!
Dictabird: Are there six or seven "I"s in "Fli... Ah"?
Fred Flintstone: Who said that?
Dictabird: It was I, your dictabird.
Fred Flintstone: Dicta-what?
Dictabird: Dictabird. Read my beak. "Cliff, let's play golf. "We can prioritize, conceptualize and, uh, tenderize."
Fred Flintstone: Wow. Wow!
Dictabird: Mr. Flintstone, I'd like to warn you that management positions are fraught with peril. Whenever you find yourself in a befuddled state, I urge you to avail yourself of my experience and sage advice.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, really? Listen, birdie, let's get the pecking order straight here.
Dictabird: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: I don't need any help from you. I'm Vice President of... Of, uh...
Dictabird: Industrial procurement.
Fred Flintstone: How about that? Excuse me. Hey, guys! Guess what I am! Vice President of Industrial Procurement!
All: [cheering]
Dictabird: Oy! Whew.
Cliff Vandercave: Yeah.
Miss Sharon Stone: There. I'm all done with the requisition forms. What do you think?
Cliff Vandercave: It's perfect. Looks just like the real one. Mr. Flintstone, you are about to embezzle a great deal of money. Unfortunately, for you, we get to keep it.
Miss Sharon Stone: We can have Flintstone sign these right away.
Cliff Vandercave: Not just yet. Creatures like this Flintstone are primitive, prone to irrational bouts of integrity. We've got to make absolutely certain he'll do whatever we say.
Fred Flintstone: is the greatest bowler on Earth.
Dictabird: "Fred is the greatest bowler on Earth."
Fred Flintstone: Now you talk, and see how much I can remember.
Cliff Vandercave: Workin' hard? Okay, Fred, are you ready for your first executive action?
Fred Flintstone: Ready and willing. Whatever you need, consider it done!
Cliff Vandercave: Good! I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone: Done... What? Fire Barney? Why?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, for starters, he scored the lowest on the management aptitude test. He's an imbecile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll!
Fred Flintstone: But, Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage. I'm his best friend. I can't.
Cliff Vandercave: Fred... If you don't fire him, I will. And then I'll fire you.
Barney Rubble: Come on, Fred, usually you're yakkin' my ear off, but today you haven't said two words. Something exciting must have happened up there.
Fred Flintstone: You don't want to know, Barn, believe me.
Barney Rubble: Sure I do, Fred. You're the first one of us to make it out of that quarry. Look at me. I'll probably be working there the rest of my life.
Fred Flintstone: No, you won't, Barn. Take my word for it.
Barney Rubble: Come take a look... It's a dish in the shower, you keep the soap in it.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, there's something we gotta talk about.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, yeah. Later, Fred.
All: Surprise! Way to go, Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, you shouldn't have.
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm? I didn't. This was all Barney and Betty's idea. Aren't we lucky to have friends like them, Fred?
Pearl Slaghoople: Ohh! There he is! There's my big, handsome son-in-law! Have you lost weight?
Fred Flintstones: Have we met?
Barney Rubble: Can I have everybody's attention, please? I've got something I'd like to say.
Hoagie: I hope it's not another poem.
Barney Rubble: Fred... Betty, Bamm-Bamm and I could not be happier, even if it was me that got that job.
All: Aww!
Barney Rubble: So we got a little something to show how proud of you we are.Congratulations, big guy!
Fred Flintstone: Barney, I can't accept this.
Barney Rubble: Sure, you can.
Fred Flintstone: No, I can't. Take it back.
Betty Rubble: We can't. We had your initials branded on it.
Barney Rubble: It's yours, Fred.
Fred Flintstone: No, it's not!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, what's wrong with you? It's a lovely gift. He's thrilled to receive it. Aren't you, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: No!
Betty Rubble: Don't you like the color?
Fred Flintstone: It's not the briefcase, it's not the color. I just can't take anything from you.
Barney Rubble: But, Fred...
Pearl Slaghoople: Take a hike, shorty. My Freddie doesn't want that tacky thing.
Barney Rubble: How come, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Because you can't afford it, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Sure I can, pal.
Fred Flintstone: Not anymore. You're fired.
Bird: Fired?
Pearl Slaghoople: Well! Let's not let a little thing like this spoil the party! Conga line!
Hoagie: Conga! Conga!
Barney Rubble: Don't worry about me, Fred. I've been working in that quarry since it was eight feet deep.
Fred Flintstone: Atta boy!
Barney Rubble: There could be a whole new world opening up for me. Maybe I'll take in that franchise show this weekend.
Fred Flintstone: That's the spirit.
Barney Rubble: Hey, Fred, there's just one thing I gotta know. After all these years, how come they're canning me?
Fred Flintstone: Barn, you're a wonderful father, a loving husband, a hard worker, and one heck of a little bowler. But, Barn, none of that counts on an aptitude test. You got the lowest score, pal.
Barney Rubble: The lowest score?
Betty Rubble: Wilma, that is beautiful!
Wilma Flintstone: Well, I have always wanted...
Pebbles: You can't catch me!
Wilma Flintstone: A Halstone original.
Betty Rubble: Mmm.
Wilma Flintstone: Ohh!
Betty Rubble: Now, Wilma, don't be silly! Your husband's a big executive. You can afford it.
Betty and Wilma: Charge it!
Betty Rubble: Bamm-Bamm! Ohh! Bamm-Bamm! No!
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm! Bamm-Bamm!
Mr. Slate: Gentlemen, please. I cannot endorse this modernization... if it means laying off all those workers. Some have been here since the beginning of time.
Cliff Vandercave: What if I could quadruple your income?
Mr. Slate: I'll miss them. You were saying?
Fred Flintstone: Sorry I'm late. I had car trouble. Picked up a nail.
Mr. Slate: Thank you for sharing that, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?
Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Slate. Gentlemen. I have a vision. While our competitors are mired in the Stone Age, I give you... The future!
Mr. Slate: Ohh.
Cliff Vandercave: Slate and Company will revolutionize the building industry... By providing simple, low-cost, modular housing units. Impossible, you say? Let me demonstrate. Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage, where our steam-powered conveyor belt carries...
Executive 1: Steam? He's a madman!
Cliff Vandercave: Steam-powered conveyor belts... Carry the product to be shaped, cleaned, inspected and delivered to discerning consumers worldwide. And did I mention increasing our profit margin... Fourfold?
Mr. Slate: Very impressive, Mr. Vandercave. Very impressive. I think we should implement this system immediately. Yes?
Fred Flintstone: Excuse me, Mr. Slate. I know I'm the new man here, but I don't think you hired me to sit around and look pretty. I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in 'em?
Store Manager: Excuse me. Mrs. Rubble?
Betty Rubble: Yes.
Store Manager: There seems to be a slight problem with your credit carol.
Betty Rubble: Really? And what would that be?
Store Manager: It's no damn good!
Betty Rubble: I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life.
Wilma Flintstone: Go and play, children.
Betty Rubble: Wilma, I promise you I'll pay you back. I just don't know when.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, now, Betty. It can't be as bad as all that.
Betty Rubble: But it is. Barney's still out of work, we've nearly spent all of our savings. And, Wilma, what if the adoption agency finds out? I don't want to lose my baby.
Wilma Flintstone: I swear, Betty, Fred and I would never let that happen.
Betty Rubble: Oh, Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Betty.
Man: Pterodactyl alert!
Pebbles: Mommy, help!
Bird: Ow, yuck! Ew!
Fred Flintstone: And in conclusion, Mr. Slate, I feel a paid vacation for everyone in the quarry would raise morale and increase productivity, um, um... A whole bunch! Sincerely yours, Frederick J. Flintstone.
Dictabird: Shall I make that "Flagstone," so he'll know who it's from?
Miss Sharon Stone: My, don't we look handsome today?
Fred and Dictabird: Thank you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Here are today's batch of requisitions. All marked and ready for your signature.
Fred Flintstone: Okay. You know Miss Stone, I've been signing stacks of these things for weeks now, and I hate to pry, but, what are they?
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh, just tiny little forms so that we can pay the contractors working on the modernization.
Fred Flintstone: You know, we remodeled our kitchen a couple of years ago, and let me tell you, contractors can be real pirates. I'm going to read these over.
Miss Sharon Stone: [covers them, slides onto his desk] No! You're much too busy for that, Mr. Flintstone. Besides, reading is my job. You wouldn't want to put poor little old me out of work now, would you?
[Wilma and Pebbles walk in the room]
Fred Flintstone: No.
[Miss Stone turns over on her back and seductively rubs his cheek. They both giggle]
Dictabird: Um, eh, your wife. Your, your wife.
Fred Flintstone: My wife? Wilma? [notices Wilma] Wilma! What a surprise!
Wilma Flintstone: So it would seem.
Fred Flintstone: Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife Mrs. Flagstone... And our daughter, um... Um, um, um... Isn't she beautiful? My family.
Wilma Flintstone: I've heard so much about you. Well, I wish that I could say the same.
Fred Flintstone: That'll be all, Miss Stone. I'll sign those documents and place them on your desk.
Miss Sharon Stone: Whatever you want.
Wilma Flintstone: Your secretary is very attractive.
Fred Flintstone: Really? I hadn't noticed. Did I mention she chisels 18 words a minute?
Wilma Flintstone: Hmm.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Wilma, did ya ever see one of these? My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock.
Dictabird: "My wife is the most beautiful gal in Bedrock."
Wilma Flintstone: Nice try, Fred.
Dictabird: "Nice try, Fred."
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! I've come to talk about the Rubbles' troubles.
Fred Flintstone: Hasn't Barney found a job yet?
Wilma Flintstone: It's gotten so bad, they've had to rent out their house just to make ends meet.
Fred Flintstone: Really. Where are they gonna live?
Betty Rubble: So glad you're over your cold. Thank you.
Wilma Flintstone: Isn't this nice, Betty? The Flintstones and the Rubbles, all under one roof.
Betty Rubble: Yes, but this is such an imposition. Are you sure it's okay with Fred?
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, absolutely. As a matter of fact, he thinks it was his idea.
Barney Rubble: Hey, Freddie, a couple of cool ones.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, yeah. How about it, Barn? Flintstones and Rubbles under one roof.
Barney Rubble: But it's only temporary.
Fred Flintstone: It'd better be. It'd better be!
Barney Rubble: Yeah!
Fred Flintstone: Ah, Barn, I admire ya. You've lost your job, your dignity, but not your sense of humor.
Barney Rubble: Hey, cut it out, Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?
Barney Rubble: Yeah.
Fred Flintstone: That one's yours.
Barney Rubble: Hey, hey, stop! Come here, you purple rodent! Don't forget to wash that off before you eat it! Come here! Give me that! Help! Somebody!
Fred Flintstone: Flintstone gets the rock. He sets his shot. He shoots! Oh! Oh! Oh, boy. Miss Stone, what a pleasant surprise.
[After Fred wrecks the model]
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh. What happened here?
Fred Flintstone: That's what I'd like to know!
Miss Sharon Stone: I'll get someone to fix it.
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Miss Stone? Before you go, there's something bothering me... About this new system we're putting in here.
Miss Sharon Stone: Oh?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah. I don't pretend to understand it all, but wouldn't this put a lot of my guys out of work?
Miss Sharon Stone: How would I know? I'm just a little ol' secretary.
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin' me? You're smart! I could tell that right off. There's a lot more to you than you... [Fred stammers. Miss Stone smiles.] You... I mean...
Miss Sharon Stone: [genuinely] Thank you. Mr. Flintstones, I sure hope I didn't get you into too much trouble with your wife the other day.
Fred Flintstone: Nah. Wilma always forgives me. She knows I love her.
Miss Sharon Stone: And you do, don't you?
Fred Flintstone: Are you kiddin"? I'll never forget, the first time I met her she was working at a restaurant. I won this "All You Can Eat" contest and she was the one that cleaned me off. Every night I go home and look at her and I think, "What is a beautiful woman like that doing with a big galoot like me?"
Miss Sharon Stone: I think I know.
Cliff Vandercave: Where have you been?
Miss Sharon Stone: With Fred. I mean, Mr. Flintstone. I'm worried, Cliff. He's smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave: He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
Miss Sharon Stone: He's been asking a lot of questions. I think we should just call the whole thing off.
Cliff Vandercave: No. No, I've got a better idea. Why don't we turn ourselves in, then we can rot in jail until the poles freeze over.
Miss Sharon Stone: I was just thinking...
Cliff Vandercave: Stick to your strengths, Miss Stone. And I'll stick to mine. Besides, if Mr. Flintstone insists on being so conscientious, perhaps we can give Fred... Something to take his mind off work, hmm?
Fred Flintstone: A bonus?
Cliff Vandercave: That's right, Fred! You deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: For what?
Cliff Vandercave: Don't be modest, you go-getter, you! And Fred, let me let you in on a little secret. If you really want to become a top executive at this company, you've got to start living like one.
Fred Flintstone: [laughing]
The BC-52's: Yabba-dabba-doo!
Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're the modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Barney Rubble: Good afternoon, madam.
Woman at Chevrox: Full serve, please.
The BC-52's: Let's ride
With the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, dear!
The BC-52's: We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Good boy.
Aerobics Instructor: Good, Wilma! Use your arms. Perfect. That's four.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty! Towel.
Aerobics Instructor: Keep going. Go eight. Strong, tight. Go nine.
The BC-52's: A yabba-dabba-doo time<br.The Flintstones!
We'll have a gay old
Time
Barney Rubble: Oh!
The BC-52's: Yeah!
Fred Flintstones: Who said money doesn't buy happiness?
Wilma Flintstone: But, Fred, isn't this all too much too fast?
Fred Flintstone: Wilma, in the buffet of life there are no second helpings. You gotta fill up your plate, top off your cup, and stuff a few rolls in your pocket.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, stop! Mmm. Frisky!
Betty Rubble: You know, Barney, life's funny. One minute people are your best friends, the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.
Barney Rubble: You too, huh?
Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney, they've changed. I hardly know them since Fred's become such a big shot.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, and it should be us squanderin' all our money and treatin' our friends like dirt.
Betty Rubble: What do you mean?
Barney Rubble: Oh, nothin'. Just sour grapes, I guess.
Betty Rubble: Oh, don't worry, Barney. It's gonna get better. One day we're gonna look back on all this and we'll laugh.
Barney Rubble: Jeez, I hope so, Betty, 'cause tomorrow they got me testin' shark repellent.
Betty Rubble: Mmm. Oh, Barney. Ooh.
Cliff Vandercave: Leaving early?
Fred Flintstone: Actually, the wife and I were going to have dinner tonight at Cavern on the Green.
Cliff Vandercave: Ooh, pricey. Be sure to put that on your expense account. Fred, before you go... Would you mind chipping your "X" on a couple of these?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah, sure. What are they?
Cliff Vandercave: Well, you sign these and your buddies down in the quarry get some much-needed time off.
Fred Flintstone: No kiddin'! I guess Mr. Slate finally noticed all those memos I been sendin' in. I hope the guys will know who's to thank for this.
Cliff Vandercave: I'll make sure you get all the credit.
Dictabird: Mr. Flintstone, up to now our relationship has not been based on mutuality of admiration or respect.
Fred Flintstone: Huh?
Dictabird: Put simply, you hate my bird guts and I think you're dumber than mud.
Fred Flintstone: Ah. Well, good night.
Dictabird: Still, I wish to pass on an old dictum... From business school that may be apropos here. Only an idiot signs something before reading it.
Fred Flintstone: Excuse me. I'm the executive, you're the office equipment. If I want to ask the office equipment for advice, I'll ask the water cooler!
Dictabird: Ash!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the B.C.-52's!
The BC-52's: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hey
Twitch!
Well, I know a place where the hipsters go
Called Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
'Cause they're itching for it down in prehistoric
Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
It's a funky town so
I'll see you down
It's a funky town called Bedrock, yeah
Oh, the Stone Age crowd is twitching proud
In Bedrock
Twitch, twitch
They do the twitch
Twitch, twitch, come on
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Twitch, twitch
Do it, come on, baby
Do it, do it, do it
Do the twitch like you got an itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Itch, itch, itch, itch
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Twitch!
Announcer: Thank you, Bedrock! Thanks, everybody. And remember, don't drink and pedal. Good night!
Fred Flintstone: How 'bout a spin, Betty?
Betty Rubble: No, thank you, Fred. I'll wait till Barney gets here. He started some new job today. I'm not sure what time he gets done.
Fred Flintstone: While we're waiting, how about another carafe of the bubbly? Garcon! Whoops.
Waiter: Don't worry, Mr. Flintstone. I'll have that taken care of right away. Table seven, sonny.
Betty Rubble: Barney!
Fred Flintstone: Barney! Hey, nice skins! Sit down, take a load off!
Barney Rubble: I can't, Fred. I'm working here.
Fred Flintstone: You're a busboy?
Betty Rubble: It's honest work.
Barney Rubble: Yeah, I don't have to fight Dino for my supper. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll get you a fresh tablecloth, sir.
Fred Flintstone: See, Wilma, you were worried he'd never find a job and we'd be stuck with him forever. Ow!
[Barney notices a news broadcast on TV]
All: Flintstone! Flintstone! We want Flintstone!
Susan Rock: The demonstration continues to get uglier at Slate and Company following the unexpected layoff of virtually the entire labor force by V.P. Fred Flintstone. For the Cave News Network, this is Susan Rock.
Barney Rubble: Fred, did you hear what happened to everyone at the quarry today?
Fred Flintstone: Yup. A few hours ago, I sent them all off on a nice, long vacation.
Barney Rubble: You mean, a permanent vacation. [turns to Wilma and Betty, points to him] He fired them!
[Betty gasps]
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! How could you?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't do that.
Barney Rubble: You did too! It's all over the TV!
Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
Fred Flintstone: Who are you going to believe, me or some busboy?
Betty Rubble: That busboy is your best friend!
Fred Flintstone: Best friend? I lost my best friend the day I became an executive! He's just jealous of my hard-earned success.
Barney Rubble: Hard-earned? Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan, huh? How about supply and demand? Hey, Fred! What's two and two?
Fred Flintstone: I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. [holds up a dirty spoon] Now, get me a clean spoon.
Barney Rubble: [angrily slams down tablecloth] That does it! The only reason you got that job is 'cause I switched tests with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, Barney.
Fred Flintstone: Oh-ho-ho, that's rich! What good would it do me to switch tests with the guy that got the lowest score?
Barney Rubble: Think about it, Fred.
Betty Rubble: Oh, finally it all makes sense.
Wilma Flintstone: You don't believe this, do you?
Betty Rubble: Are you calling my husband a liar?
Wilma Flintstone: This has gone far enough. After everything that we've done for you. We took you into our home.
Betty Rubble: Oh, yeah? So you could show off every chance you got! You used to be such nice people, but now... You're just a couple of rich snobs! Hmm!
Fred Flintstone: Better than being a couple of petty ingrates.
Betty Rubble: Come on, Barney. We are moving out, tonight!
Barney Rubble: Hang on, Betty. I forgot to punch out.
[Barney punches Fred in the face, causing him to faint]
Barney Rubble: Eh, put it up top.
Wilma Flintstone: Betty, please. We can work it out. We're all civilized people here.
Betty Rubble: It's too late, Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Come on, we all said things that we didn't mean.
Fred Flintstone: Speak for yourself.
Barney Rubble: Come on, Betty. Time to hit the road.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred! Aren't you even the least bit sorry?
Fred Flintstone: Sure, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever met the little moocher.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh, Betty.
Betty Rubble: Good-bye, Wilma.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh. They're gone. I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out of our lives.
Fred Flintstone: At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
Wilma Flintstone: That's more important than 20 years of friendship?
Fred Flintstone: It is on a hot day. They were holding us back, Wilma. We'll make new friends. There's 4,000 other people in this world! Who needs the Rubbles?
Wilma Flintstone: I do. But I'll tell you what I don't need. I don't need this necklace. You know, I don't need this lamp. And I don't need this television set.
Fred Flintstone: Not the TV!
Wilma Flintstone: I don't need this. I don't need this. I don't think I'll be needing any of this bone china. Because I don't have any friends to invite to dinner. I don't think I'll be using any of these cups or saucers.
Fred Flintstone: You're gonna regret this, Wilma. It's gonna take you hours to clean up this mess. All right, Wilma. Enough of this charade. Come back now, and I'll forgive ya. Oh, you're bluff in', Wilma Slaghoople. You're not going to your mother's. Once around the block, you'll realize the folly of your ways and you'll come crawling back. Please.
Barney Rubble: It's finally happened, I've become my father.
Betty Rubble: Now, Barney, don't talk like that. This place is fine for now.
Barney Rubble: Come on, Betty. We're living downwind from a family of wild boars. Face it. We've hit rock bottom.
Betty Rubble: Hmm.
Barney Rubble: Come here, little guy. Can you say da-da? Say da-da.
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh. It doesn't really matter where we live, as long as we're together. Family hug!
Barney Rubble: Betty?
Betty Rubble: Hmm?
Barney Rubble: Exactly where did you get those eggs?
Betty Rubble: Sorry. I think it might be twins.
Hoagie: There he is! You're a traitor, Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Listen to me. I'm your friend.
Hoagie: You're no friend of ours! You're a rotten bowler too!
Miss Sharon Stone: Good morning, Mr. Flint...
Fred Flintstone: They made a fool of me.
Dictabird: Look what they had to work with.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, heard you were down in the file room. Find anything interesting?
Fred Flintstone: Yeah! I'm on to your little scam. Billing phony companies and keeping the money for yourself. I'm going to Mr. Slate.
Cliff Vandercave: Good idea. Turning yourself in might buy you a little leniency.
Fred Flintstone: Me? This entire scheme was your idea.
Cliff Vandercave: True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, since it's your name on the requisitions.
Fred Flintstone: I never touched any of that money!
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm. Fred, please. Remodeling your house, furs, jewelry, a fully-equipped Le Sabertooth. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have been more discreet.
Fred Flintstone: I'm innocent!
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, boo-hoo-hoo. Miss Stone, call security. Tell them we've uncovered an embezzler.
[Cliff is suing Fred for embezzlement]
Fred Flintstone: [grabs her hand] Miss Stone, you'll back me up, won't ya?
Miss Sharon Stone: You better run while you still have a chance.
Fred Flintstone: You'll never get away with this.
Cliff Vandercave: I already have.
Dictabird: [sighs]
Pearl Slaghoople: Here comes the pterodactyl.
Pebbles Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Wilma Flintstone: It's no use, Mother. She misses Fred. I hope it's not that pesky Avrok lady again. Oh! Betty!
Betty Rubble: Oh.
Pebbles: Bamm-Bamm!
Wilma Flintstone: I have missed you so much.
Betty Rubble: I don't care what Barney said. I couldn't let you go through this alone. Have you heard from Fred?
Wilma Flintstone: No.
Pearl Slaghoople: I spoke to a lawyer. If he's missing seven years, you can remarry.
Wilma Flintstone: Mother! Well, wherever Fred is, I hope he knows I still love him. Oh.
Police Radio: Calling all Bedrock units, all Bedrock units.
Bedrock's Most Wanted Host: Tonight, in a special edition of Bedrock's Most Wanted, we bring you the story that's rocked our city, "The Case of the Embezzling Executive."
Miss Stone Look-A-Like: Mr. Flintstone, what are you doing?
Fred Look-A-Like: I'm an executive. I'm embezzling.
Miss Stone Look-A-Like: I'm shocked!
Pearl Slaghoople: How could you ever marry that man?
Wilma Flintstone: Mother! That man is not my husband.
Betty Rubble: That's right. He plays Dr. Gravelman on The Young And The Thumbless.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred might be a lot of things but a thief is not one of them.
Pearl Slaghoople: Can he prove it?
Fred Look-A-Like: Who cares? Yabba-dabba-dabba!
Dictabird Look-A-Like: Yabba-dabba-dabba!
Bedrock's Most Wanted Host: This menace remains at large... We ask the public's help in apprehending...
Wilma Flintstone: Maybe I can.
Grizzled Man: Hey, brother. A little something to take that chill off. Take a swig of this. Put hair on your knuckles. Tell me something... You one of those guys that was laid off at the stone quarry?
Fred Flintstones: Yeah, I used to work there.
Grizzled Man: A lot of guys here would like to get their hands on the guy who's responsible for all this.
Fred Flintstone: So they could hear his side of the story?
Grizzled Man: What? His side of the story?
Pigasaurus: Huh? Flintstone! Flintstone!
Grizzled Man: It is! Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Squealer!
Grizzled Man: Get him!
Miss Sharon Stone: Just think. This time tomorrow, we'll be on a pterodactyl winging our... Oh, Cliff.
Cliff Vandercave: Hmm?
Miss Sharon Stone: How come there's only one ticket to Rocapulco?
Cliff Vandercave: For your protection, darling. I thought I would go on a "business trip," while you stay here to keep up appearances. Then, when we're sure it's safe, I'll send for you.
Miss Sharon Stone: Forgive me, Cliff. Looks like you've thought of everything.
Wilma Flintstone: Psst. Excuse me! Hello.
Dictabird: No, Mumsie, I don't want to go to school. The other boys make fun of me.
Wilma Flintstone: Wake up!
Dictabird: Oh, Mrs. Flintstone. To what do I owe the honor of this break-in?
Wilma Flintstone: I need your help, Mr. Bird. You hear everything that goes on in this office.
Dictabird: Hmm-hmm.
Wilma Flintstone: You are the only one who can help clear my husband.
Dictabird: My, my. What a delicious irony. Thank you for sharing it with me. Now, let me share something with you.
Betty Rubble: Oh, now, Wilma, calm down. Maybe I can reason with him.
Dictabird: Ow!
Cliff Vandercave: There. All set. You know, my only regret is I won't be around when that shoddy new equipment blows up in their big, dumb faces. Oh, well, I'll just have to console myself with all that money. Hey, who's that?
Miss Sharon Stone: That's Flintstone's wife.
Cliff Vandercave: What would she want with a stinky old dict... Son of a brachiosaurus!
Miss Sharon Stone: Well, Cliff. I guess you haven't thought of everything.
Cliff Vandercave: Oh, this is far from over.
Hoagie: String him up!
Fred Flintstone: You can't do this. I was framed!
Grizzled Man: In a minute you're going to be boxed.
All: [cheering]
Barney Rubble: Anybody want a snow cone?
Fred Flintstone: Barney!
Barney Rubble: Fred! What are you doing here?
Fred Flintstone: I'm getting lynched!
Barney Rubble: Oh. I got cherry, lime, rocky road.
Grizzled Man: Wait a minute. Do you know this guy?
Barney Rubble: Know him? He used to be my best friend. In a way, if it wasn't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.
Grizzled Man: Thanks for filling us in. We could've made a very big mistake here. Hang both of 'em.
Barney Rubble: What? Gee, take it easy. They make you pay for your own uniforms.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, I thought you came to save me.
Barney Rubble: Save you? I saw a crowd, I figured I'd sell a few snow cones.
Fred Flintstone: You mean you haven't forgiven me yet?
Barney Rubble: Nope. And frankly, I don't think this is going to help.
Roxanne: I took a cherry.
Barney Rubble: I can't break a 20.
Fred Flintstone: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a minute! Look, Barn, I know you're still a little mad at me. But I want you to know, if I had to have someone hanging next to me, I'm glad it's you.
Barney Rubble: I guess switchin' them tests didn't turn out much like I planned, huh, Fred?
Accuser: Hey, got any lemon?
Barney Rubble: Check in the back. Gee, why can't business be this good every day? The story of my life. I'm a loser.
Fred Flintstone: No, you're not.
Barney Rubble: This makes me a winner?
Fred Flintstone: No, but you're the best friend a guy ever had and that makes you a winner in my book, pal. Me... I'm just a big jerk.
Barney Rubble: Ah, everybody loves you, Fred. Except for this lynch mob.
Fred Flintstone: Ah, Barn.
Barney Rubble: Ah, Fred.
Hoagie: Come on, come on. You'll have plenty of time to bond in the afterlife.
All: [cheering]
Betty Rubble: Wilma, look!
Man: Watch out for that tree!
Wilma Flintstone: Now wait, everybody. Fred is innocent.
Betty Rubble: Barney, do you have to do everything Fred does?
Wilma Flintstone: Everybody, listen to him.
Dictabird: First things first. I demand an apology.
Barney Rubble: I'm sorry!
Dictabird: Not you, him.
Fred Flintstone: Me? Apologize to a bird? Not Fred Flintstone!
Dictabird: I had hoped we might be colleagues but instead, you've treated me as if I were an ordinary piece of office furniture. I may eat bugs, but I have feelings, Mr. Flintstone. And you've hurt them.
All: Aww.
Fred Flintstone: Uh, well, look, I know I could've been a little more sensitive. Especially when you were molting.
Wilma Flintstone: Oh.
Fred Flintstone: So, I'm... Sorry.
Dictabird: I don't think they heard you in the back.
Fred Flintstone: I'm sorry.
Dictabird: Pardon?
Fred Flintstone: I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Dictabird: Oh. Now, then, gather 'round, everyone. I'll tell you the tale of an unsophisticated man caught up in a treacherous web of power, deceit and lust.
Grizzled Man: Ooh, yeah.
Wilma Flintstone: Why is the door open?
Fred Flintstone: What?
Wilma Flintstone: Betty, the door is open!
Betty Rubble: Wilma, something's wrong!
Wilma Flintstone: Pebbles!
Betty Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Fred Flintstone: What kind of madman would do something like this? That's a poor poochie. That's a baby. That's a baby.
Wilma Flintstone: Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are gone!
Betty Rubble: They left this.
Barney Rubble: It's a note.
Fred Flintstone: If you want to see your kids again, bring the Dictabird to the quarry at dawn. No police.
Dictabird: [gasps]
Cliff Vandercave: Mr. Flintstone. Stealing office equipment, really. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Is this the kind of example you want to set for your daughter?
Barney Rubble: Where are the kids?
Cliff Vandercave: The bird, please.
Fred Flintstone: First, we want our children.
Cliff Vandercave: Of course.
Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm!
Cliff Vandercave: Take one more step, Mr. Rubble, and this quarry's safety record will be severely tarnished. Now, give me the bird.
Barney Rubble: Go on, Fred. Give him what he wants.
Dictabird: What?
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, I got a plan. We're gonna get the kids back and then we'll rescue you.
Dictabird: What a strategist. I should have signed with Disney. They never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen.
Cliff Vandercave: Ahh! Thank you, gentlemen.
Dictabird: Easy.
Cliff Vandercave: And in the words of my beloved mother, I'm taking the money and moving to a warmer climate.
Pebbles: Help, Daddy!
Dictabird: Let's discuss this, Cliff. May I call you Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Barney, too much pressure. One, two, three...
Fred and Barney: Nice goin'.
Barney Rubble: Now what do we do?
Fred Flintstone: You get the kids, I'll try and stop this.
Barney Rubble: Whoa!
Dictabird: Cliffy, have I ever told you you have a very distinguished chin?
Cliff Vandercave: Shut up! Ahh!
Fred Flintstone: Whoa!
Barney Rubble: Yo, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Dictabird: Oh, dear, Oh, dear. Too many years behind a desk. Mayday, mayday!
Bamm-Bamm': Hi, da-da.
Barney Rubble: You did it! You called me da-da!
Fred Flintstone: Oh, Barney, you lunkhead! What am I going to do? I gotta think of somethin'. Not now.
Pebbles Wake up, Uncle Barney!
Dictabird: Help, help! Save me! Save me from this mad M.B.A.!
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry. I'll take care of him.
Dictabird: My hero. Yipes.
Cliff Vandercave: Flintstone, kiss your bird good-bye.
Dictabird: Oh, mama.
[after knocking out Cliff]
Miss Sharon Stone: Will there be anything else, Mr. Flintstone?
Fred Flintstone: No, Miss Stone. Take the rest of the day off. [they share a grin] Yabba-dabba-doo! Cliff? It's time for you and me to interface.
Cliff Vandercave: Aah!
Fred Flintstone: Stee-rike!
Cliff Vandercave: [last lines] Nooooooooooooo!
Dictabird: And then, Cliff said, "True. But I've graciously decided to give you all the credit, "since it's your name on all the requisition forms."
Miss Sharon Stone: Mr. Flintstone, I may not be in on Monday.
Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, Miss Stone. I'll tell 'em what you did. They'll let you off easy.
Miss Sharon Stone: I've been a very bad girl. But you have to admit, I was very, very good at it.
Barney Rubble: Come on, do it for Mommy. Who am I?
Bamm-Bamm: Bamm-Bamm!
Betty Rubble: Oh.
Wilma Flintstone: Thank goodness, you're all right.
Fred Flintstone: Well, I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy getting a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry?
Betty Rubble: None of this was your fault. Mr. Slate will understand.
Mr. Slate: Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone: Sure, now he gets my name right.
Mr. Slate: How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone: Mr. Slate, it all started when the Rubbles here wanted to adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate: Not that! How did this happen to Cliff?
Fred Flintstone: Well, you see, Mr. Slate, the machinery went haywire and the rocks got all crushed up and that got mixed in with water and that came all down the hill. Mr. Slate, I'm sorry!
Mr. Slate: Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter Concretia. Flintstone, you're a genius!
Fred Flintstone: Me? Really? Why?
Mr. Slate: Don't you see? Thanks to concrete, man can now shape his own destiny. The Stone Age is over!
Wilma Flintstone: Ahh.
Mr. Slate: First thing, I want you to hire back all the men, Flintstone. We're going into production immediately.
Fred Flintstone: We?
Mr. Slate: That's right. You are hereby promoted to President of the entire concrete division.
Fred Flintstone: Yabba... That's a real nice offer, Mr. Slate, but unfortunately, I'm gonna have to turn you down.
Barney Rubble: Don't listen to him, Mr. Slate. Fred, it's a great job! This time, you deserve it.
Fred Flintstone: Barney, all my life I wanted to be a somebody. And when I finally did, I turned into somebody I didn't like.
Mr. Slate: Good grief, man, have you lost your mind? This could make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Fred Flintstone: I was always the richest man in the world. I just never knew it. So, if it's okay with you, Mr. Slate, all I want is my old job back and my old life.
Barney Rubble: Fred.
Fred Flintstone: And two weeks paid vacation for all the men in the quarry, an annual cost of livin' increase and those little packets of ketchup in the lunchroom.
Mr. Slate: Done!
Fred Flintstone: Thanks, boss. See you at the company picnic.
Mr. Slate: There goes the best executive I ever had.
Wilma Flintstone: Fred, I'm so proud of you.
Betty Rubble: And I'm proud of you, Barney.
Fred Flintstone: I'm starving!
Barney Rubble: Me too!
Fred Flintstone: What do you say we get some breakfast. Snake and eggs for everybody. My treat.
Barney Rubble: Great.
Fred Flintstone: Barney...
Barney Rubble: Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone: Spot me a couple bucks? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble: Not this time!
Fred Flintstone: What?
The BC-52's: [singing] Flintstones
Meet the Flintstones
They're a modern
Stone Age family
From the town of Bedrock
They're a page right out of history
Someday maybe
Fred will win the fight
Then that cat will stay out for the night
When you're with the Flintstones
Have a yabba-dabba-doo time
A dabba-doo time
We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!
The BC-52's: [singing] We'll have a gay old time
Fred Flintstone: Wilma!

Taglines

[edit]
  • Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
  • Yabba-dabba-doo it!

Cast

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
  Feature films     The Flintstones  (1994) · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas  (2000) · The Flintstones & WWE: Stone Age SmackDown!  (2015) · Space Jam: A New Legacy  (2021)
  Televisione series     The Flintstones  (1960–1966)
  Televisione specials     A Flintstones Christmas Carol  (1994)
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