[To his brother Pablo] You think you're better than I am? Where we came from, if one did not want to die of poverty, one became a priest or a bandit! You chose your way, I chose mine. Mine was harder. You talk of our mother and father. You remember when you left to become a priest? I stayed behind! I must have been ten, twelve. I don't remember which, but I stayed. I tried, but it was no good. Now I am going to tell you something. You became a priest because you were... too much of a coward to do what I do!
Hey Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty son of a b-[gets cut off by the ending music]
Stevens: You're... from Baker... Tell Baker that I told him all that I know already. Tell him I want to live in peace, understand? That it's no use to go on tormenting me! I know nothing at all about that case of coins. Now that gold has disappeared, but if he'd listened, we could have avoided this altogether. I went to the Army court; there were no witnesses. They couldn't uncover any more. I can't tell Baker what happened to the money; go back and tell him that!
Union Captain: Whoever has the most liquor to get the soldiers drunk and send them to be slaughtered, is the winner.
Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. [hands over a purse] Five hundred dollars.
Angel Eyes: Oh, I almost forgot. He paid me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. [they both laugh] But you know the pity is when I'm paid, I always follow my job through. You know that.
Baker: Noo! Angel Eyes!
Tuco: I'm an honest farmer! I’m innocent of everything!
Sheriff: [shows Tuco the wanted poster] Come here, you! So you’re just an honest farmer, eh? Who is this?
Sheriff: Yeah, you.
Tuco: Who says so? You can't even read! [the Sheriff rolls up the poster] Go ahead, roll it up, roll it up! I'll give you a good idea where you can put it!
Tuco: Wake up, you. There are troops coming.
Blondie: Are they blue or gray?
Tuco: Gray... They're gray like us. Let's say hello to them and then get going. [Shouting] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... [Turns to Blondie] What's his name?
Tuco: Lee! God's on our side 'cause He hates the Yanks, too!
[Riding up to Blondie and Tuco, an officer pats the grey dust from his blue uniform.]
Blondie: God's not on our side because He hates idiots also.
[Corporal Wallace is calling roll at a Union POW camp]
Cpl. Wallace: Bill Carson. [A Union sergeant turns around; it is Angel Eyes.] Bill Carson! I said Bill Carson!
Tuco: Hey, Blondie. Isn't that Angel Eyes?
Cpl. Wallace: Alright, what's he doing, sleeping?! Bill Carson!
Blondie: Yeah...and you better be Bill Carson.
Cpl. Wallace: BILL CARSON!
Tuco: Yeah! Yeah, that's me.
[Angel Eyes comes over and takes the roll paper from Wallace, who approaches Tuco.]
Cpl. Wallace: Please, Carson... answer "Present". What are you, deaf?! [Punches Tuco, who falls to his knees.] Now suppose you say "Present," Carson.
Tuco: I like big fat men like you. When they fall, they make more noise, and sometimes they never get up!
Captain Harper: For the last time, Sergeant, I'm telling you I want the prisoners treated as prisoners. No more brutality.
Angel Eyes: There's hundreds of prisoners out there and only a few men to guard 'em. Now what am I supposed to do? I have to have respect.
Cpt. Harper: I think that you'll manage to gain their respect by treating them better.
Angel Eyes: Are our men treated that well in Andersonville camp?
Cpt. Harper: I don't give a goddamn what they do in Andersonville! While I'm in charge here the prisoners are not to be tortured, or cheated... or murdered.
Angel Eyes: That an accusation?
Cpt. Harper: Sergeant, gangrene is eating my leg away. Not my eyes. I know the prisoners here are being robbed systematically. I know there's scum around who are bivouacked near the camp, waiting for someone to deliver this loot. But as long as I'm commandant I won't permit any such trickery. Am I clear?
Angel Eyes: Yes, sir. Just as long as you're the commandant.
Cpt. Harper: Yes, Sergeant... I know this leg means I won't last very long. But I pray I can manage to have enough time to amass evidence to bring to a court-martial all those who dishonor and discredit the uniform... of the Union.
Angel Eyes: I wish you luck.
Angel Eyes: [Throws Blondie some civilian clothes] The war's over for you. Put those clothes on.
Angel Eyes: We’ goin’ for a ride.
Angel Eyes: I know the name of the cemetery now, and you know the name on the grave.
Blondie: [Seeing Tuco’s blood on the floor] You're not going to give me the same treatment?
Angel Eyes: Would you talk?
Blondie: No... probably not.
Angel Eyes: That’s what I thought. Not that you're any tougher than Tuco. But you’re smart enough to know that talking won't save you.
Tuco: The name of the cemetery is ... (hesitating) .. Sad Hill. Now it's your turn.
Blondie: The name on the grave is ... Arch Stanton.
Tuco: Arch Stanton? You sure?
Blondie: Yeah. Sure I'm sure.
Tuco: You pig! You wanted to get me killed. When'd ya unload it?
Blondie: Last night. You see in this world there's two kinds of people my friend - those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
[Angel Eyes prepares to board a stagecoach during Tuco's execution]
Woman on stagecoach: Glad they got him. A man guilty of all those crimes!
Angel Eyes: People with ropes around their necks don't always hang.
Woman on stagecoach: What do you mean?
Angel Eyes: Even a filthy beggar like that has a protecting angel.
[Angel Eyes looks around and catches sight of Blondie]
Angel Eyes: A golden-haired angel watches over him.
Blondie: You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. We cut down my percentage - uh, cigar? - liable to interfere with my aim.
Tuco: But if you miss you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco. Nothing!
One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
[Tuco kills him with a hidden gun]
Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
Tuco: [to Blondie, motions toward a stool] Get on that. Now put the rope around your neck. That’s very good! The rope is too big for your neck, eh? We’ll fix that right away. I have a different system, my friend; I don't shoot the rope. I shoot the legs off the stool.
[Sound of distant rumbling]
Tuco: Even when Judas hanged himself there was a storm.
Blondie: That could be cannon fire.
Tuco: Cannon fire or storm, it's all the same to you. Adios.
Tuco: I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again. I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.
Blondie: Oh, listen, uh, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.
Blondie: Yeah, five of 'em.
Tuco: So, that's why you came to Tuco. It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.
Bounty Hunter #2: [three bounty hunters have cornered Tuco] No! No pistol, amigo! It won't do you any good! There are three of us.
Mexican Bounty Hunter: [holding a wanted poster] Hey, amigo! You know you have a face beautiful enough to be worth $2000?
Blondie: [from behind them] Yeah, but you don't look like the one who'll collect it.