The Nutty Professor (1996 film)

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The Nutty Professor is about grossly overweight Prof. Sherman Klump, desperate to lose weight takes a special chemical that turns him into the slim but obnoxious Buddy Love.

Sherman Klump / Buddy Love[edit]

  • I heard of dreadlocks, but shitlocks?
  • Ok, fat jokes! You wanna do fat jokes? Alright! Your mother's so fat, the bitch needs Thomas Guide to find her asshole! Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your mother's so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I'm still on the bitch! Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck! Reggie's mother's so fat, that the bitch gets her toenails painted at Earl Scheib! Earl Scheib! At Earl Scheib! Reggie's mama is so fat, her blood type is rock n' roll! His mother is so fat, her belt size is Equator. Get it, equator.
  • If you give me a moment, I can explain. My research is, um... Well, when I started out, I wanted to help people. But then I became desperate and selfish. And what I did was wrong. Buddy's who I thought the whole world wanted me to be. He's who I thought I wanted to be. And sometimes when you want something so so bad, you'll do just about anything to get it. But I learned one thing from Buddy. Life isn't about being happy with how much you weigh, but just being happy with yourself. I'm terribly sorry about all of this, I hope I haven't ruined everybody's evening. Please excuse me.
  • The truth is, Carla, I'm a big man. Now I will lose weight, but I'm always gonna be big no matter what I do. So anyone I end up with is just going to have to accept me for who I am. More importantly, I'm going to have to accept myself for who I am.
  • I'm thin!
  • Why, thank you very much, I'm fatter! (correcting himself) I'm flattered!


  • Grandma Klump: I hope your ass turn into a frog
  • Mother Klump: Don't break gas and destroy our meal.
  • Papa Klump: You want your colon cleansed? Fine, I'm gonna clean mine! (breaks wind)
  • Reggie Warrington: Whoo-whoo! It's a full moon tonight! Boy, you so fat, that everytime I turn around, it's your birthday! You must be on that new program, "slimmin' slow!" I bet I cut his fat ass open, he'll bleed chocolate milk! Now we know what's been eating Gilbert Grape, don't we?!


Buddy Love: Tank ass!
Sherman Klump: Tinkerbell!
Buddy Love: Blubber butt!
Sherman Klump: Featherweight!
Sherman:[Sadly] Thank you for the dinner mama.
Mama Klump: [Concerned] Sherman what's wrong with you?
Sherman:[Looks to the side, feeling uneasy]
Mama Klump: Are you still worried about what your father said at dinner? [Understanding] Ohhh...Son, listen to me you are special. When the Good Lord made you...He made you beautiful inside and out. You can do anything Sherman...all you have to do is believe in yourself and you can do anything.
Buddy Love:[While standing at the top of the school tower] I'm thin! I'm THINNNNNNN
Buddy Love:[arriving to "The Scream" for his date.] You are too fine for giving me curbside service!
Carla Purdy: [angrily] I'm not, I'm leaving.
Buddy Love: What are you talking about leaving ? We just got here!
Carla Purdy: No, you just got here, I've been waiting for you for almost an hour!
Buddy Love: Hey, now they say anticipation helps make the appetite grow stronger, if you know what I mean.
Carla Purdy: Anticipate the night alone.
Buddy Love: Hey, hey, let's just have a meal together! Why you leaving? Hey-what, do you want me to beg you?! I get down on my knees! I'm begging in front of all these people! You think they don't care that all these people are watching? I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!!! I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT I WAS LATE, AND I'M SORRY!!! My car ran out of gas! I needed fresh drawers! My mother's sick! The car broke down on the street! I'm so sorry!
Carla Purdy: [embarrassed] Buddy, get up.
Buddy Love: No, listen, you gotta hear me out! Now, I am sorry! I don't know why this happened tonight! Of all nights, this has to happen to me tonight! WHYYYY?!
Carla Purdy: Okay.
Buddy Love: WHYYYYYY?!
Carla Purdy: Okay!
Carla Purdy: Okay, okay, okay!!!
Buddy Love: [instantly changes mood] Okay good, let's eat! I am SO hungry. Hey, don't let the tears fool you, I'm a tooth chipper!


  • Inside Sherman Klump, a party animal is about to break out.


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