The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists (film)
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (released in North America and Australia as The Pirates! Band of Misfits) is a 2012 British 3-D stop-motion animated adventure comedy film about Pirate Captain, who sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz for the Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London.
- Directed by Peter Lord. Written by Gideon Defoe, loosely based on his book The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists.
- Behind every captain, there's a crew. Sure, some of you are as ugly as a sea cucumber, some of you are closer to being a chair or coat rack than a pirate, and some of you are fish I've just dressed up in a hat...
- Fire those long things that go bang!
- You're the best crew a captain could wish for!
- And that's why, in a straight fight, a shark would probably beat Dracula.
- (writing in his journal) I discovered a new species of barnacle today. I will never get a girlfriend. I am so unhappy.
- That trophy has got MY name on it.
- I.. HATE...PIRATES!!!
- Pity you can't eat pirate, really. But you'd probably taste of barnacles. Whereas dear little Polly here is going to be absolutely... delicious!
- [trailer version]
- Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm the pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold!
- Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat. [his arm falls off] See?
- [final version]
- Pirate Captain: Avast! I’m the pirate captain, and I’m here for your gold!
- Sailor: Gold? This is a plague boat, old man. I’d give my right arm for gold. [his left arm falls off] Or my left.
- Pirate Captain: Right, then, Charles.When is this science show of yours?
- Charles Darwin: A week tomorrow.
- Pirate Captain: Ahhh, confound it. You see, we could've made that with a good wind behind us, but unfortunately, there's this dirty great sea monster in the way.
- Charles Darwin: Um, I..I..I think they just add those on the maps for decoration, Captain.
- Pirate Captain: Is that a fact? Well blow me down.
- [trailer version]
- Pirate who Loves Sunsets & Kittens: The Pirate of the Year Awards...
- Pirate Captain: Every time I've entered, I've failed to win. So, I must have a really good chance this time!
- Pirate Captain: What pirates? Nobody here but us girl scouts! (Girl Guides, UK Version)
- [the crew is disguised in scout uniforms]
- Albino Pirate: I got a badge for looting
- Black Bellamy: You want to be Pirate of the Year? Do they just give it to the guy with the fattest parrot?
- Pirate Captain: She's not fat, she's just big-boned!
- Black Bellamy: She's fat, dude.
- [Polly vomits on Bellamy]
- Black Bellamy: Oh, come on!
- Pirate Captain: [looks at Darwin's house] You don't get many girls, do you?
- Bobo: No. He. Doesn't.
- It's a plunderful life.
- Laugh your booty off.
- Join the crew and kick some booty.
- Prepare for a new breed of pirates.
- Let's go plundering.
- Places to pillage. People to skewer.
- Hugh Grant - Pirate Captain
- Martin Freeman - the Pirate with a Scarf/Number Two
- Imelda Staunton - Queen Victoria
- David Tennant - Charles Darwin
- Jeremy Piven - Black Bellamy
- Salma Hayek - Cutlass Liz
- Lenny Henry - Peg-Leg Hastings
- Brian Blessed - Pirate King
- Russell Tovey - Albino Pirate (UK version)
- Anton Yelchin - Albino Pirate (US version)
- Brendan Gleeson - Pirate with Gout
- Ashley Jensen - Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate
- Ben Whitehead - Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens (UK version)
- Al Roker - Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens (US version)
- Mike Cooper - Admiral Collingwood
- David Schneider - Scarlett Morgan
- Mitchell Mullen - Game show Host
- Jim Cummings - Scurvy Pirate