My dad hated lawyers. You might think I became one just to piss him off, but you'd be wrong. Did piss him off so much though that when he heard he fell off a ladder and didn't know who to sue first.
Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.
I knew exactly what was going on here. Just like when Daddy was in the bedroom crying and Mommy was sitting in the kitchen, face all bloody, saying that Daddy was sorry.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? A hooker'll stop screwing you when you're dead.
How do you know when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
There's gotta be a hundred years of law experience sitting at this very table. My staff has flunked the bar exam six times.
Every lawyer, at least once in every case, feels himself crossing a line that he doesn't really mean to cross... it just happens... And if you cross it enough times it disappears forever. And then you're nothin but another lawyer joke. Just another shark in the dirty water.