The Room (film)

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Oh hai! The Room is a 2003 independent romantic drama film primarily centered on the melodramatic love triangle between an amiable banker, his fiancée, and his conflicted best friend. It is frequently cited as one of the worst films ever made. Originally shown only in a limited number of California theaters, the film quickly developed a cult following as fans found humor in the film's bizarre storytelling and various technical and narrative flaws.

Directed and written by Tommy Wiseau.
Can you ever really trust anyone?taglines


  • Oh hai!
  • You are lying! I never hit you! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, LISA!
  • Wow, you look so sexy Lisa!
  • Anything for my princess!
  • [on his job at the bank] They betray me, they didn't keep their promise, they trick me, and I don't care anymore.
  • Don't touch me, motherfucker, get out!
  • I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshit! I did not hit her! I did not! Oh hai, Mark.
  • Everybody betrayed me! I fed up with this world.
  • [to Mark] I'm so happy I have you as my best friend, and I love Lisa so much.
  • [to Mark] Ahaha! What a story, Mark.
  • Why, Lisa, why, why?
  • Peter, you always play psychologist with us!
  • [to Mike] Underpants! You must be kidding, right? I get the picture.
  • Get out, get out, get out of my life!
  • Why, Lisa, why? Please talk to me, Lisa! Pleeease! You are part of my life! You are everything to me! I could not go on without you, Lisa!
  • Peter, you're just a little chicken! Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!
  • You can love someone deep inside your heart and never tell them and that is good. If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place to live in.
  • Come on, let's go eat, huh?
  • You know what they say, love is blind?
  • In a few minutes, bitch.
  • Hai, babe.
  • Oh, hai, Denny!
  • Oh, hai, Mike!
  • Oh, hai, Claudette.
  • I'm tired, I'm wasted, I love you, darling! [laughing]
  • It's not true. Don't even ask!


  • You don't understand anything, man. Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!
  • Oh man, I just can't figure women out. Sometimes they're just too smart. Sometimes they're flat-out stupid. Other times they're just evil.
  • As far as I'm concerned, you can drop off the face of the Earth. That's a promise.
  • Do you think girls like to cheat like guys do?
  • The candles, the music, the sexy dress. I mean, what's going on here?
  • Yeah, I'm thinking of moving to a bigger place, man. I'm making some good money.
  • Shit… Alright?
  • Wake up, man, what planet are you on?


  • You look beautiful today. Can I kiss you?
  • Calm down. He's going to jail.
  • Stop ganging up on me!


  • Why are you so hysterical?
  • She's a stupid bitch. She wants to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?
  • I just wanted to hear your sexy voice. I keep thinking about your strong hands around my body. It excites me so much.
  • He's boring.


  • Steven: I feel like I'm sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off!
  • Steven: Do you understand what you're doing? You're going to destroy Johnny. He's very sensitive.
  • Mike: Did you know that chocolate is the symbol of love?
  • Claudette: Men are assholes. Men and women use and abuse each other all the time, there's nothing wrong with it. Marriage has nothing to do with love.
  • Peter: People are people. Sometimes they just can't see their own faults.
  • Peter: Lisa's a sociopath. She can never love anyone.
  • Chris R: Five minutes? You want five fucking minutes, Denny? You know what? [pulls out gun] I don't got FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!


Mark: Wow. So, uh, you gonna be ready?
Lisa: How do you mean that? I'm always ready... for you.

Lisa: Do you want me to order a pizza?
Johnny: Whatever, I don't care.
Lisa: I already ordered a pizza.
Johnny: You think about everything. [laughs]

Johnny: Denny, do you have something else to do?
Denny: I just like to watch you guys.
Lisa: Oh, Denny, Denny, Denny boy!
Johnny: Denny, two is great, but three's a crowd. Ha ha ha.
Denny: I get it. You guys wanna be alone.
Johnny: That's the idea.
Denny: Fine. I have homework anyway. Bye, love birds.
Johnny: Bye, Denny.
Lisa: Bye, Denny.

Lisa: You can come out now, Johnny. She's gone.
Johnny: In a few minutes, bitch.
Lisa: Who are you calling a bitch?!
Johnny: You and your stupid mother.

Mark: I used to know a girl, she had a dozen guys. One of them found out about it… beat her up so bad she ended up at a hospital on Guerrero Street.
Johnny: Hahaha. What a story, Mark.
Mark: Yeah, you can say that again.

Lisa: Did you get your promotion?
Johnny: Nah.
Lisa: You didn't get it, did you?
Johnny: That son-of-a-bitch told me I will get it within three months. I saved them bundles. They're crazy. I don't think I'll ever get it. They betrayed me, they didn't keep their promise, they tricked me, and I don't care anymore.

Johnny: The bank saves money and they are using me, and I am the fool.
Lisa: I still love you.
Johnny: You're the only one who does.

Steven: When is the baby due?
Lisa: There is no baby.
Steven and Michelle: What?!
Steven: [baffled] Wha—What are you talking about?!
Lisa: I told him that to make it interesting.

Mark: How was work today?
Johnny: Oh pretty good. We got a new client... at the bank. We make a lot of money.
Mark: What client?
Johnny: I cannot tell you, it's confidential.
Mark: Oh come on. Why not?
Johnny: No I can't. Anyway, how's your sex life?

Denny: So what sort of movie are we gonna see?
Johnny: We'll see... Denny, don't plan too much. It may not come out right.

Lisa: He didn't get his promotion. And he got drunk last night... and he hit me.
Claudette: Johnny doesn't drink! What are you talking about?

Claudette: Oh! That jerk, Harold! He wants me to give him a share of my house. That house belongs to me! He has no right! I’m not giving him a penny! Who does he think he is?
Lisa: He's your brother.
Claudette: He is always bugging me about my house. Fifteen years ago, we agreed that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he’s seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I’m dying.
Lisa: You're not dying, mom.
Claudette: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.
Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine.

Mark: If you keep your girl satisfied, she wouldn't have come to me!
Johnny: Get out of my house. [attacks Mark] I'll kill you! I'll break every bone in your body! [gets stopped by party attendants]
Lisa: STOP IT!
Johnny: I'll kill you, you bastard!
Mark: You couldn't kill me if you tried...
Johnny: You betrayed me! You're not good, you... you're just a chicken! Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep! [Mark attacks him again]


  • Can you really trust anyone?
  • ...Are you ready to see reflections of your life?


  • Tommy Wiseau - Johnny
  • Greg Sestero - Mark
  • Julliette Danielle - Lisa
  • Robyn Paris - Michelle
  • Carolyn Minotte - Claudette
  • Philip Haldiman - Denny

External links[edit]

Find more about The Room (film) at Wikipedia's sister projects
Article at Wikipedia
Media from Commons
Database entry #Q533383 on Wikidata