Twin Peaks

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Twin Peaks (1990–1991, 2017-) is an American dramatic television series, airing on ABC, created by David Lynch and Mark Frost. The series follows the investigation, headed by FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper, of the brutal murder of a popular teenager and homecoming queen, Laura Palmer.

There are things you can't get anywhere… but we dream they can be found in other people.
Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee.
All things considered, being shot is not as bad as I always thought it might be. As long as you can keep the fear from your mind. I guess you could say that about most anything in life. It's not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

Pete Martell: She's dead... Wrapped in plastic.

Log Lady: [voiceover] Welcome to Twin Peaks. My name is Margaret Lanterman. I live in Twin Peaks. I am known as the Log Lady. There is a story behind that. There are many stories in Twin Peaks — some of them are sad, some funny. Some of them are stories of madness, of violence. Some are ordinary. Yet they all have about them a sense of mystery — the mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of death. The mystery of the woods. The woods surrounding Twin Peaks. To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the All — it is beyond the "Fire", though few would know that meaning. It is a story of many, but begins with one — and I knew her. The one leading to the many is Laura Palmer. Laura is the one.

Dale Cooper: Diane, 7:30 am, February twenty-fourth. Entering town of Twin Peaks. Five miles south of the Canadian border, twelve miles west of the state line. Never seen so many trees in my life. As W.C. Fields would say, I'd rather be here than Philadelphia. It's fifty-four degrees on a slightly overcast day. Weatherman said rain. If you could get paid that kind of money for being wrong sixty percent of the time it'd beat working. Mileage is 79,345, gauge is on reserve, I'm riding on fumes here, I've got to tank up when I get into town. Remind me to tell you how much that is. Lunch was $6.31 at the Lamplighter Inn. That's on Highway Two near Lewis Fork. That was a tuna fish sandwich on whole wheat, a slice of cherry pie and a cup of coffee. Damn good food. Diane, if you ever get up this way, that cherry pie is worth a stop.

Bobby Briggs: Norma, I'll see you in my dreams.
Norma Jennings: Not if I see you first.

Dale Cooper: Diane! I'm holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies.

Dale Cooper: Who's the lady with the log?
Sheriff Truman: We call her the Log Lady.
Log Lady: Shhhhhhh!

Dale Cooper: Wanna know why I'm whittling?
Sheriff Truman: OK, I'll bite again. Why are you whittling?
Dale Cooper: Because that's what you do in a town where a yellow light still means slow down and not speed up.

Episode One [1.02][edit]

I'm beginning to feel a bit like Dr. Watson.
You know, this is — excuse me — a damn fine cup of coffee!
Log Lady: [voiceover] I carry a log — yes. Is it funny to you? It is not to me. Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being's varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time. Are they called detectives? Watch — and see what life teaches.

[Cooper is ordering breakfast during his first morning at the Great Northern.]
Dale Cooper: You know, this is — excuse me — a damn fine cup of coffee! … Now, I'd like two eggs, over hard. I know, don't tell me; it's hard on the arteries, but old habits die hard — just about as hard as I want those eggs. Bacon, super-crispy. Almost burned. Cremated. That's great. And, I'll have the grapefruit juice, just as long as those grapefruits… [He trails off as he sees high school vixen Audrey Horne saunter up to his table.] … are freshly squeezed.

[Pete Martell pours coffee for Dale Cooper and Sheriff Truman.]
Pete Martell: Mr. Cooper, how do you take it?
Dale Cooper: Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Pete Martell: Pretty black.

Sheriff Truman: You know, I think I'd better start studying medicine.
Dale Cooper: And why is that?
Sheriff Truman: Because I'm beginning to feel a bit like Dr. Watson.

Pete Martell: Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You'd never guess. There was a fish in the percolator! Sorry.

Log Lady: For your information, I heard you speaking about Laura Palmer?
Dale Cooper: Yes?
Log Lady: One day my log will have something to say about this. My log saw something that night.
Dale Cooper: Really? What did it see?
Log Lady: Ask it.

Episode Two [1.03][edit]

These ideas speak so strangely. All that we see in this world is based on someone's ideas
Log Lady: [voiceover] Sometime ideas, like men, jump up and say 'hello'. They introduce themselves, these ideas, with words. Are they words? These ideas speak so strangely. All that we see in this world is based on someone's ideas. Some ideas are destructive, some are constructive. Some ideas can arrive in the form of a dream. I can say it again: some ideas arrive in the form of a dream.

Sheriff Truman: I hear that you're real good at what you do.
Albert Rosenfield: That's correct.
Sheriff Truman: Well, that's good. Because normally if a stranger walked into my station talking this kind of crap, he'd be looking for his teeth two blocks up on Queer Street.

Dale Cooper: Following a dream I had three years ago, I have become deeply moved by the plight of the Tibetan people, and have been filled with a desire to help them. I also awoke from the same dream realizing that I had subconsciously gained knowledge of a deductive technique, involving mind-body coordination operating hand-in-hand with the deepest level of intuition.

The One Armed Man: Through the darkness of future's past, the magician longs to see. One chants out between two worlds... "Fire... walk with me." We lived among the people. I think you say, convenience store. We lived above it. I mean it like it is... like it sounds. I too have been touched by the devilish one. Tattoo on the left shoulder... Oh, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed. I took the entire arm off. My name is Mike. His name is Bob.
Killer BOB: Mike. Mike! Can you hear me? Catch you... with my death bag! You may think I've gone insane... but I promise. I will kill again.

[Cooper's dream, sitting in a chair in the red room. The Man from Another Place twitches uncontrollably with his back to Cooper. Cooper stares at a smiling Laura Palmer.]
The Man from Another Place: [Claps hands together, speaking in a strangely paced, distorted voice] Let's rock! I've got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style. [about Laura] She's my cousin. But doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?
Dale Cooper: But... it is Laura Palmer. Are you Laura Palmer?
Laura Palmer: [speaking in a similarly distorted voice] I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.
The Man from Another Place: She's filled with secrets. Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there's always music in the air.

Episode Three [1.04][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] There is a sadness in this world, for we are ignorant of many things. Yes, we are ignorant of many beautiful things — things like the truth. So sadness, in our ignorance, is very real. The tears are real. What is this thing called a tear? There are even tiny ducts — tear ducts — to produce these tears should the sadness occur. Then the day when the sadness comes — then we ask: "Will this sadness which makes me cry — will this sadness that makes me cry my heart out — will it ever end?" The answer, of course, is yes. One day the sadness will end.

Dale Cooper: Nothing beats the taste sensation when maple syrup [claps his hands] collides with ham.

[FBI pathologist Albert Rosenfield refuses to release Laura's body for the funeral.]
Dr. Hayward: You're the most cold-blooded man I've ever seen! I've never in my life met a man with so little regard for human frailty. Have you no compassion?!
Albert Rosenfield: Oh, I've got compassion running out of my nose, pal! I'm the Sultan of Sentiment! Dr. Hayward, I have travelled thousands of miles and apparently several centuries to this forgotten sinkhole in order to perform a series of tests. Now, I do not ask you to understand these tests. I'm not a cruel man. I just ask you to get the hell outta my way, so I that can finish my work! Is that clear?!

Albert Rosenfeld: Mr. Horne, I realize that your position in this fair community pretty well guarantees venality, insincerity, and a rather irritating method of expressing yourself. Stupidity, however, is not necessarily a inherent trait, therefore, please listen closely. You can have a funeral any old time. You dig a hole, you plant a coffin. I, however, cannot perform these tests next year, next month, next week or tomorrow - I must perform them now. I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so why don't you please return to your porch rockers and resume whittling.
Sheriff Truman: I've had just about enough of you and your insults!
Albert Rosenfield: Oh yeah, well I've had about enough of morons and half wits, dolts, dunces, dullards and dumbbells ... and you, you chowder-head yokel, you blithering hayseed — you've had enough of me?
Sheriff Truman: Yes I have. [Punches Albert in face]
...
Albert Rosenfield: The old rustic sucker-punch, huh? [calling after Truman] A hail of bullets would be nice!
Dale Cooper: That's enough! The sheriff didn't mean anything.
Albert Rosenfield: He hit me!
Dale Cooper: Well, I'm sure he meant to do that.

Sheriff Truman: There's a sort of evil out there. Something very, very strange in these old woods. Call it what you want. A darkness, a presence. It takes many forms but... its been out there for as long as anyone can remember and we've always been here to fight it.

Episode Four [1.05][edit]

One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the cycle of life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy.
Log Lady: [voiceover] Even the ones who laugh are sometimes caught without an answer: these creatures who introduce themselves but we swear we have met them somewhere before. Yes, look in the mirror. What do you see? Is it a dream, or a nightmare? Are we being introduced against our will? Are they mirrors? I can see the smoke. I can smell the fire. The battle is drawing nigh.

Leo Johnson: [Standing over Bernard's corpse] Jacques' back in Canada. We had a long talk, he's staying there. Jacques was the brains in the outfit. Bernie made bail this morning on possession.
Benjamin Horne: Do me know if uh, the late Bernard gave you up?
Leo Johnson: I told him if he ever did I'd kill him.
Benjamin Horne: Oh... did he?
Leo Johnson: Nah, he shouldn't have trusted me, but like I said, Bernie wasn't too bright.

Shelly Johnson: I've got one man too many in my life and I'm married to him. Sound familiar?
Norma Jennings: Maybe you should have a little talk with Leo.
Shelly Johnson: Leo doesn't talk, he hits. He was so great at first, you know. This flashy guy in his hot car. Then we get married and I find out all he was looking for was a maid he didn't have to pay. I feel so stupid.
Norma Jennings: Look at us. Two men apiece and we don't know what to do with any of the four of them.

Deputy Hawk: One woman can make you fly like an eagle, another can give you the strength of a lion, but only one in the cycle of life can fill your heart with wonder and the wisdom that you have known a singular joy. I wrote that for my girlfriend.

Dr. Jacoby: Laura had secrets and around those secrets she built the fortress that, well that in my six months with her, I was not able to penetrate and for which I consider myself an abject failure.

Episode Five [1.06][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] I play my part on my stage. I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. But that answer cannot come before all are ready to hear. So I tell what I can to form the perfect answer. Sometimes my anger at the fire is evident. Sometimes it is not anger, really. It may appear as such, but could it be a clue? The fire I speak of is not a kind fire.

Dale Cooper: Audrey, you'll have to excuse me this morning, I'm running late. I only have time for coffee.
Audrey Horne: Well maybe I could go with you.
Dale Cooper: Wednesdays were traditionally a school day when I was your age.
Audrey Horne : [moving in close] I can't believe you were ever my age.
Dale Cooper: I've got the pictures to prove it. How old are you?
Audrey Horne: Eighteen.
Dale Cooper: Well, see you later Audrey.

Log Lady: [Presenting her log to Cooper] You can ask it now.
Dale Cooper: [To log] What did you see that night? The night Laura Palmer was killed.
Log Lady: Shhh, I'll do the talking. Dark. Laughing. The owls were flying. Many things were blocked. Laughing. Two men, two girls. Flashlights pass by in the woods over the ridge. The owls were near. The dark was pressing in on her. Quiet then. Later, footsteps. One man passed by. Screams far away. Terrible, terrible. One voice.

Bobby Briggs: Laura wanted to die.
Dr. Jacoby: How do you know that?
Bobby Briggs: Because she told me.
Dr. Jacoby: What else did she tell you? Did she tell you that there was no goodness in the world?
Bobby Briggs: She said people try to be good but they're really sick and rotten, her most of all, and every time she tried to make the world a better place, something terrible came up inside her and pulled her back down into hell. Took her deeper and deeper into the blackest nightmare. Every time it got harder to go back up to the light.

James Hurley: Its true, my mother was out of town this week but she wasn't traveling. What she does is, she goes to another town, shacks up in some cheap hotel with a couple of bottles and picks up guys and...
Donna Hayward: It's alright.
James Hurley: I'm telling you this because I don't want to have any secrets from you. I don't want there to be any lies between us. It's the secrets people keep that destroy any chance they have of happiness, and I don't want us to be like that.

Episode Six [1.07][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yet there are those who open many eyes. Eyes are the mirror of the soul, someone has said. So we look closely at the eyes to see the nature of the soul. Sometimes when we see the eyes — those horrible times when we see the eyes, eyes that ... that have no soul — then we know a darkness, then we wonder: where is the beauty? There is none if the eyes are soulless.

Dale Cooper: Do you like to gamble Ed?
Big Ed Hurley: Well, I went to Reno once but I never felt too lucky.
Dale Cooper: You're gonna be lucky tonight. This is ten thousand dollars of the bureau’s money. Whenever I gamble with the company's stake I always like to bring back a ten to fifteen percent return. How much would you like to start with? How about three hundred? And Ed, the suit is perfect.

Dale Cooper: Harry, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair or two cups of good hot black coffee. Like this.
Sheriff Truman: A present? Like Christmas?
Dale Cooper: [Taking a sip] Ah, man that hits the spot. Nothing like a great cup of black coffee.

Laura Palmer: [On tape] What’s up doc? Just a few words before I go to sleep. I feel like I’m going to dream tonight. Big bad ones. You know, the kind you like. Its easier talking into the recorder. I guess I feel I can say anything. All my secrets. The naked ones. I know you like those doc. I know you like me too. That’ll be my little secret, okay? Just like your coconut. Why is it so easy to make men like me? And I don’t even have to try very hard. Maybe, if it was harder...

Dale Cooper: Now I’m going to go down and get us two malts and some fries downstairs. Then I want you to tell me all your troubles.
Audrey Horne: That could take all night.
Dale Cooper: The night is young. Now I’m going to get the food and you're going to get dressed.
Audrey Horne: I can’t tell you all my secrets.
Dale Cooper: Secrets are dangerous things Audrey.
Audrey Horne: Do you have any?
Dale Cooper: No.
Audrey Horne: Laura had a lot of secrets.
Dale Cooper: Finding those out is my job.

Episode Seven [1.08][edit]

Am I being too secretive? No. One can never answer questions at the wrong moment.
Log Lady: [voiceover] A drunken man walks in a way that is quite impossible for a sober man to imitate, and vice versa. An evil man has a way, no matter how clever — to the trained eye, his way will show itself. Am I being too secretive? No. One can never answer questions at the wrong moment. Life, like music, has a rhythm. This particular song will end with three sharp notes, like deathly drumbeats.

Laura Palmer: [On tape] Hey, what’s up, doc? Its Laura, in case you haven’t guessed. It’s Thursday the twenty-third and I’m so bored. Actually, I’m in kind of a weird mood. God, James is sweet, but he’s so dumb, and right now I can only take so much of sweet. Hey, remember that mystery man I told you about? Well, if I tell you his name then you’re gonna be in trouble. He wouldn’t be such a mystery man anymore but you might be history, man. I think a couple of times he’s tried to kill me. But guess what? As you know, I sure got off on it. Hmm, isn’t sex weird? This guy can really light my F-I-R-E as in red corvette. Uh-oh, here comes mom with milk and cookies.

Season 2[edit]

Episode Eight [2.01][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Hello again. Can you see through a wall? Can you see through human skin? X-rays see through solid, or so-called solid objects. There are things in life that exist, and yet our eyes cannot see them. Have you ever seen something startling that others cannot see? Why are some things kept from our vision? Is life a puzzle? I am filled with questions. Sometimes my questions are answered. In my heart, I can tell if the answer is correct. I am my own judge. In a dream, are all the characters really you? Different aspects of you? Do answers come in dreams? One more thing: I grew up in the woods. I understand many things because of the woods. Trees standing together, growing alongside one another, providing so much. I chew pitch gum. On the outside, let's say of the ponderosa pine, sometimes pitch oozes out. Runny pitch is no good to chew. Hard, brittle pitch is no good. But in between there exists a firm, slightly crusted pitch with such a flavor. This is the pitch I chew.

The Giant: The owls are not what they seem.

Dr. Jacoby: It was her you see. The necklace, a divided heart. Laura was, in fact... well she was living a double life. Two people. Yeah, but then, then when I saw her that last time she, I don’t know, she seemed to have reached a kind of peace with herself. Now I believe that what she had in fact arrived at was a decision to end her life.
Sheriff Truman: Are you saying Laura wanted to die?
Dale Cooper: Doctor, Laura Palmer did not commit suicide.
Dr. Jacoby: No, no, but maybe she allowed herself to be killed.

Dale Cooper: Diane, my recorder is on the table. I’m unable to reach it at this time. I can only hope that I inadvertently pressed the voice activation button. I’m lying on the floor of my room. I’ve been shot. There’s a great deal of pain and a fair amount of blood. Fortunately I was wearing my bulletproof vest last night per bureau regulations when working undercover. I remember folding the vest up trying to chase down a wood tick. If you can imagine the impact on your chest of three bowling balls dropped from the height of about nine feet, you might began to approximate the sensation. All things considered, being shot is not as bad as I always thought it might be. As long as you can keep the fear from your mind. But I guess you can say that about almost anything in life. Its not so bad as long as you can keep the fear from your mind.

Sheriff Truman: Lucy, you'd better bring Agent Cooper up to date.
Lucy Moran: Leo Johnson was shot, Jacques Renault was strangled, the mill burned, Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing, Nadine is in a coma from taking sleeping pills.
Dale Cooper: How long have I been out?
Sheriff Truman: Six hours.
...
Dale Cooper: Laura Palmer is dead. Jacques Renault is dead. Ronette Pulaski and Leo Johnson are in comas. Waldo the bird is dead. This leaves only the third man.

Dale Cooper: Harry, when Albert finishes up at the Great Northern we’ll meet back at the station. I’m ready to lay the whole thing out.
Sheriff Truman: Rocks and bottles?
Dale Cooper: Chalk and blackboard will be just fine.
Sheriff Truman: Jelly donuts?
Dale Cooper: Harry, that goes without saying.

Major Briggs [to his son Bobby]: A vision I had in my sleep last night — as distinguished from a dream which is mere sorting and cataloguing of the day's events by the subconscious. This was a vision, fresh and clear as a mountain stream — the mind revealing itself to itself. In my vision, I was on the veranda of a vast estate, a palazzo of some fantastic proportion. There seemed to emanate from it a light from within — this gleaming radiant marble. I had known this place. I had in fact been born and raised there. This was my first return, a reunion with the deepest wellsprings of my being. Wandering about, I was happy that the house had been immaculately maintained. There had been added a number of additional rooms, but in a way it blended so seamlessly with the original construction, one would never detect any difference. Returning to the house's grand foyer, there came a knock at the door. My son was standing there. He was happy and care-free, clearly living a life of deep harmony and joy. We embraced — a warm and loving embrace, nothing withheld. We were in this moment one. My vision ended. I awoke with a tremendous of optimism and confidence in you and your future. That was my vision; it was of you. I'm so glad to have had this opportunity to share it with you. I wish you nothing but the very best, always.

Episode Nine [2.02][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] As above, so below. The human being finds himself, or herself, in the middle. There is as much space outside the human, proportionately, as inside. Stars, moons, and planets remind us of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Is there a bigger being walking with all the stars within? Does our thinking affect what goes on outside us, and what goes on inside us? I think it does. Where does creamed corn figure into the workings of the universe? What really is creamed corn? Is it a symbol for something else?

Dale Cooper: Who shot me, Albert?
Albert Rosenfield: My men are interrogating the hotel guests, the usual bumper crop of rural know-nothings and drunken fly-fishermen. Nothing so far. Oh, the world’s most decrepit room service waiter remembers nothing out of the ordinary about the night in question, no surprise there. Señor Droolcup has, shall we say, a mind that wanders?

Dale Cooper: Ronette Pulaski has woken from her coma.
Albert Rosenfield: And?
Dale Cooper: I’m thinking she’s gonna have quite a story to tell when she regains the ability to speak.
Albert Rosenfield: So she’s not talking?
Dale Cooper: Waking but silent. Probably shock. I’m going to show her the sketches of Leo Johnson and Bob, the man Sarah Palmer saw in her vision. The man who came to me in my dream.
Albert Rosenfield: Has anyone seen Bob on Earth in the last few weeks?

Dale Cooper: Buddhist tradition first came to the land of snow in the fifth century AD. The first Tibetan king to be touched by the Dharma was King Hathatha Rignamputsan. He and succeeding kings were collectively known as the Happy Generations. Now some historians place them in the Water Snake Year, 213 AD. Others in the year of the water ox, 173 AD. Amazing isn’t it? The Happy Generations.
Albert Rosenfield: Agent Cooper, I am thrilled to pieces that the Dharma came to King Ho-Ho-Ho, I really am, but right now I’m trying hard to focus on the more immediate problems of our own century right here in Twin Peaks.
Dale Cooper: Albert, you’d be surprised at the connection between the two.
Albert Rosenfield: [deadpan] Color me amazed.

Albert Rosenfield: I, uh, performed the autopsy on Jacques Renault. Stomach contents revealed… let's see, beer cans, a Maryland license plate, half a bicycle tire, a goat… and a small wooden puppet. Goes by the name of Pinocchio.
Dale Cooper: You're making a joke!
Albert Rosenfield: I like to think of myself as one of the happy generations.

Episode Ten [2.03][edit]

Albert's path is a strange and difficult one.
Log Lady: [voiceover] Letters are symbols. They are building blocks of words which form our languages. Languages help us communicate. Even with complicated languages used by intelligent people, misunderstanding is a common occurrence. We write things down sometimes — letters, words — hoping they will serve us and those with whom we wish to communicate. Letters and words, calling out for understanding.

Sheriff Truman: So, what did this giant sound like, huh? I mean, did he have a big, booming voice or what?
Dale Cooper: No, no! He spoke softly, distinctly.
Albert Rosenfield: And you gave him the beans you were supposed to use to buy a cow.
Dale Cooper: No, Albert! I gave him my ring.
Albert Rosenfield: Okay. Uh, confining my conclusions to the planet Earth…

[Albert gives his forensic conclusions on an unknown perpetrator.]
Albert Rosenfield: … and he worked with Leo Johnson, currently appearing at Calhoun Memorial Hospital as Mr. Potato Head.

Sheriff Truman: Anything we should be working on?
Albert Rosenfield: Yeah. You might practice walking without dragging your knuckles on the floor. Heh heh heh.
Sheriff Truman: Albert! Let's talk about knuckles. The last time I knocked you down, I felt bad about it, the next time's gonna be a real pleasure.
Albert Rosenfield: You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchet-man in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely: revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman.
Dale Cooper: Albert's path is a strange and difficult one.

Episode Eleven [2.04][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Miscommunication sometimes leads to arguments, and arguments sometimes lead to fights. Anger is usually present in arguments and fights. Anger is an emotion, usually classified as a negative emotion. Negative emotions can cause severe problems in our environment and to the health of our body. Happiness, usually classified as a positive emotion, can bring good health to our body, and spread positive vibrations into our environment. Sometimes when we are ill, we are not on our best behavior. By ill, I mean any of the following: physically ill, emotionally ill, mentally ill, and/or spiritually ill.

Lucy Moran [about Richard Tremayne]: He had lots of coats and keeps himself and his car in great shape. Most his behavior was asinine but at least he was different.
Dale Cooper: Are you still seeing this … Dick?

Judge Sternwood: [to Leland Palmer] Leland...this is most difficult. My deepest condolences on your heartbreaking loss. [...] You've appeared before me many times. I know you to be a fine, decent man and a capable attorney. And to see you under these circumstances is... is dreadful for us all. Now, the law provides a structure to guide us through perilous and trying times. But it requires our submission to its procedures and higher purposes. Before we assume our respective roles in this enduring drama, just let me say that when these frail shadows we inhabit now have quit the stage, we'll met and raise a glass again together, in Valhalla.

Episode Twelve [2.05][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Sometimes nature plays tricks on us and we imagine we are something other than what we truly are. Is this a key to life in general? Or the case of the two-headed schizophrenic? Both heads thought the other was following itself. Finally, when one head wasn't looking, the other shot the other right between the eyes, and, of course, killed himself.

Harold Smith: Are you looking for secrets? Is that it? Maybe I can give you one. Do you want to know what the ultimate secret is? Laura did. The secret of knowing who killed you.

Donna Hayward: There's things you can't get in books.
Harold Smith: There are things you can't get anywhere… but we dream they can be found in other people.

Episode Thirteen [2.06][edit]

YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP. HEARING'S GONE. LONG STORY.
Log Lady: [voiceover] Sometimes we want to hide from ourselves — we do not want to be us — it is too difficult to be us. It is at these times that we turn to drugs or alcohol or behavior to help us forget that we are ourselves. This of course is only a temporary solution to a problem which is going to keep returning, and sometimes these temporary solutions are worse for us than the original problem. Yes, it is a dilemma. Is there an answer? Of course there is: as a wise person said with a smile: "The answer is within the question."

Gordon Cole: YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP. HEARING'S GONE. LONG STORY. GOT THESE THINGS CRANKED UP TO THE MAX.

Gordon Cole: COOPER, YOU REMIND ME TODAY OF A SMALL MEXICAN CHIHUAHUA.

Dale Cooper: What does Bob want?
The One-Armed Man: He is Bob, eager for fun. He wears a smile. Everybody run!

Episode Fourteen [2.07][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] A poem as lovely as a tree:
As the night wind blows, the boughs move to and fro.
The rustling, the magic rustling that brings on the dark dream.
The dream of suffering and pain.
Pain for the victim, pain for the inflicter of pain.
A circle of pain, a circle of suffering.
Woe to the ones who behold the pale horse.

Dale Cooper: [reading Harold Smith's suicide note.] "J'ai une âme solitaire." I am a lonely soul. Poor guy.

The Giant: It is happening again. It is happening again.

Gordon Cole: HEADIN' ON OVER TO BEND, OREGON. WHOLE LOTTA SHAKIN' GOING ON IN BEND!

Episode Fifteen [2.08][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Food is interesting. For instance, why do we need to eat? Why are we never satisfied with just the right amount of food to maintain good health and proper energy? We always seem to want more and more. When eating too much, the proper balance is disturbed and ill health follows. Of course, eating too little food throws the balance off in the opposite direction and there is the ill health coming at us again. Balance is the key. Balance is the key to many things. Do we understand balance? The word "balance" has seven letters. Seven is difficult to balance, but not impossible if we are able to divide. There are, of course, the pros and cons of division.

Dale Cooper: Diane... 10:00 a.m. at the Great Northern. I've just been in a hotel room with the One-armed Man... or what's left of him. In another time, another culture, he may have been a seer, a shaman priest. In our world he's a shoe salesman, and lives among the shadows.

Dale Cooper: The trail narrows, Diane. I'm close, but the last few steps are always the darkest and most difficult.

Jerry Horne: Sheriff… no offense, but, eh… clearly, this man's stairs do not reach the attic. Now, your 24 hours are up! You either charge my client or let him go!
Sheriff Truman: Ben Horne, I'm charging you with the murder of Laura Palmer.
Benjamin Horne: Yeah. Good move, Jer!

Episode Sixteen [2.09][edit]

That gum you like is going to come back in style.
Log Lady: [voiceover] So now the sadness comes — the revelation. There is a depression after an answer is given. It was almost fun not knowing. Yes, now we know. At least we know what we sought in the beginning. But there is still the question: why? And this question will go on and on until the final answer comes. Then the knowing is so full, there is no room for questions.

Leland Palmer: I know that gum. That's the kind I used to chew when I was a kid! That's my favorite gum in the world.
The Man from Another Place: That gum you like is going to come back in style.

Leland Palmer: Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see, one chants out between two worlds, fire walk with me!

Dale Cooper: The time has come for you to seek the Path. Your soul has set you face to face before the clear light ... and now you are about to experience it in its Reality, wherein all things are like the void and cloudless sky, and the naked, spotless intellect is like a transparent vacuum, without circumference or center... At this moment, know yourself and abide in that state.

Episode Seventeen [2.10][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Complications set in — yes, complications. How many times have we heard: 'it's simple'. Nothing is simple. We live in a world where nothing is simple. Each day, just when we think we have a handle on things, suddenly some new element is introduced and everything is complicated once again. What is the secret? What is the secret to simplicity, to the pure and simple life? Are our appetites, our desires undermining us? Is the cart in front of the horse?

Dale Cooper: There's nothing quite like urinating in the open air.

Sheriff Truman: If I understand law correctly, you need extradition papers in order to get a statement from me. And you need a subpoena from a judge. Now unless you gentlemen have that paperwork I suggest you take your cooperation, and stuff it.

Roger Hardy: Dale. We've got a problem. Effective immediately, without pay, I regret to inform you of your suspension from the FBI.

Episode Eighteen [2.11][edit]

MAY A SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA. WE'VE ALL HAD OUR SOCKS TOSSED AROUND. CATCH YOU LATER.
Log Lady: [voiceover] Is life like a game of chess? Are our present moves important for future success? I think so. We paint our future with every present brush stroke. Painting. Colors. Shapes. Textures. Composition. Repetition of shapes. Contrast. Let nature guide us. Nature is the great teacher. Who is the principal? Sometimes jokes are welcome. Like the one about the kid who said: "I enjoyed school. It was just the principal of the thing."

Hawk: Cooper you may be fearless in this world, but there are other worlds.

Gordon Cole: DON'T LET'EM RATTLE YOU, COOP. THESE GUYS MAKE A LIVING LOOKING THROUGH OTHER PEOPLE'S DRAWERS. MAY A SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA. WE'VE ALL HAD OUR SOCKS TOSSED AROUND. CATCH YOU LATER.

Denise Bryson: Understand we're both staying at the Great Northern. How's the food up there?
Dale Cooper: Denise, you're in for a real surprise.
Sheriff Truman: [to himself] So are they.

James Hurley: I guess I'm not so interested in how my bike looks as in where it can take me.
Evelyn Marsh: Where do you wanna go?
James Hurley: It's not really a place its a feeling. Sometimes riding at night, I punch off the headlights and roll the throttle in just rocket blind into the dark.

Episode Nineteen [2.12][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Is a dog man's best friend? I had a dog. The dog was large. It ate my garden, all the plants, and much earth. The dog ate so much earth it died. Its body went back to the earth. I have a memory of this dog. The memory is all that I have left of my dog. He was black — and white.

[Dale Cooper and a real-estate agent arrive at a decrepit-looking house that Cooper is interested in buying]
Real-estate agent: Well, it's still standing, almost by force of habit.
Dale Cooper: A little habit can provide a strong foundation.

[Agent Bryson asks admiringly after the departing Audrey Horne.]
Dale Cooper: Denise, I would assume you're no longer interested in girls.
Denise Bryson: Coop, I may be wearing a dress, but I still pull my panties on one leg at a time if you know what I mean.
Dale Cooper: Not really.

Colonel Riley: Garland Briggs is the best pilot I've ever known. He was born with hardware most of us only dream of having. He's been walking point on this operation for three years, carrying a full pack. I'll tell you this: his disappearance has implications that go so far beyond national security the cold war seems like a case of the sniffles.

Episode Twenty [2.13][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] My husband died in a fire. No one can know my sorrow. My love is gone. Yet, I feel him near me. Sometimes I can almost see him. At night when the wind blows, I think of what he might have been. Again I wonder: why? When I see a fire, I feel my anger rising. This was not a friendly fire. This was not a forest fire. It was a fire in the woods. This is all I am permitted to say.

Jean Renault: Before you came here, Twin Peaks was a simple place. My brothers sold drugs to truck-drivers and teenagers. One-Eyed Jack's welcomed curious tourists and businessmen. Quiet people lived quiet lives. Then a pretty girl dies. And you arrive. Everything changes. My brother Bernard is shot and left to die in the woods. A grieving father smothers my surviving brother with a pillow. Arson, kidnapping. More death and destruction. Suddenly the quiet people here are no longer quiet. Their simple dreams have become a nightmare. Maybe you brought the nightmare with you. And maybe, it will die with you.

Episode Twenty-One [2.14][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] The heart — it is a physical organ, we all know. But how much more an emotional organ — this we also know. Love, like blood, flows from the heart. Are blood and love related? Does a heart pump blood as it pumps love? Is love the blood of the universe?

Dale Cooper: Windom Earle's mind is like a diamond. It's cold, and hard, and brilliant.

[Twin Peaks Mayor Dwayne Milford is holding Dr. Jacoby, Lana Budding Milford, Dale Cooper and the sheriff at gunpoint. He holds Lana responsible for the death of his brother, Dougie Milford]
Dale Cooper: Fellas, I've got an idea. Why don't we let Lana and the mayor talk things over together. Alone.
Mayor: I don't wanna talk. I wanna shoot.
Dale Cooper: Now Dwayne you can always shoot later. Talk first.

Episode Twenty-Two [2.15][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] A death mask. Is there a reason for a death mask? It is barely a physical resemblance — in death, the muscles so relaxed, the face so without the animating spark. A death mask is almost an intrusion on a beautiful memory. And yet, who could throw away the casting of a loved one? Who would not want to study it longingly, as the distant freight train blows its mournful tone?

Pete: I owe it all to the immortal Master: José Raúl Capablanca. If there's chessboards in heaven, you'll find Jose sittin' across from the Lord.

[Albert observes suspended Agent Cooper's plaid shirt and khaki slacks.]
Albert Rosenfield: Oh, Coop, uh, about the uniform…
Dale Cooper: Yes, Albert?
Albert Rosenfield: Replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide, but, uh, call me crazy — on you it works.

Episode Twenty-Three [2.16][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] A hotel. A nightstand. A drawer pull on the drawer. A drawer pull of a nightstand in the room of a hotel. What could possibly be happening on or in this drawer pull? How many drawer pulls exist in this world? Thousands, maybe millions. What is a drawer pull? This drawer pull — why is it featured so prominently in a life or in a death of one woman who was caught in a web of power? Can a victim of power end in any way connected to a drawer pull? How can this be?

[Albert and Cooper are discussing whether to arrest Josie Packard.]
Albert Rosenfield: There's an epidemic of multiple gunshot wounds following this chick around. She is a menace.
Dale Cooper: I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll confess. Turn herself in.
Albert Rosenfield: [sarcastically] Maybe she'll grow wings and join the circus.

[Norma visits Hank in prison to ask him for a divorce. Hank tries to get Norma to lie to make up an alibi for him]
Hank Jennings: [aggressively] Okay. Then there's the deal. You give me my alibi, and I give you your divorce.
Norma Jennings: I didn't come here to negotiate with you. This is it. It's over!
Hank Jennings: Fine. Go ahead. You're his whore Norma.
Norma Jennings: I'd rather be his whore,... than your wife!

[Pete, Sheriff Truman and Dale Cooper are thinking about the next move in the chess game against Windom Earle]
Pete Martell: Okay. This is it. Guaranteed to cause some sleepless nights.
Dale Cooper: As long as he can't remove another piece from the board. [a piece removed would mean an additional killing]
Pete Martell: He can't do it. Not at least for five, six more moves.
Sheriff Truman: Now maybe he'll kill anyway. Maybe it'll just frustrate him.
Dale Cooper: I don't think so Harry. Earle has a perverse sense of honor about these things.
Sheriff Truman: I'd never heard of a man who murdered by the rules.

Episode Twenty-Four [2.17][edit]

Mr. Martel, Andy moved his knight without doing the little hook thing.
Log Lady: [voiceover] Sometimes — well, let's say all times — things are changing. We are judged as human beings on how we treat our fellow human beings. How do you treat your fellow human beings? At night, just before sleep, as you lay by yourself in the dark, how do you feel about yourself? Are you proud of your behavior? Are you ashamed of your behavior? You know in your heart if you have hurt someone — you know. If you have hurt someone, don't wait another day before making things right. The world could break apart with sadness in the meantime.

[Pete, helping Cooper figure out how to outplay evil genius Windom Earle at chess, is interrupted by his "students".]
Lucy Moran: Mr. Martell, Andy moved his knight without doing the little hook thing.
Deputy Andy Brennan: You don't have to do the little hook thing; that's optional.
Pete Martell: Andy, uh… the knight has to do the "little hook thing".
Deputy Andy Brennan: Every time?
Pete Martell: It's a privilege! No one else gets to make that move.

Episode Twenty-Five [2.18][edit]

I have no idea where this will lead us. But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.
Log Lady: [voiceover] The beautiful thing about treasure is that it exists. It exists to be found. How beautiful it is to find treasure. Where is the treasure, that when found, leaves one eternally happy? I think we all know it exists. Some say it is inside us — inside us one and all. That would be strange. It would be so near. Then why is it so hard to find, and so difficult to attain?

Benjamin Horne: Audrey, look, I know that I haven’t been a very good father. Oh hell, who am I kidding? When have I ever been anything but a sleazy rapacious heel?
Audrey Horne: Well Daddy, maybe when I was little, but...
Benjamin Horne: Exactly.

Dale Cooper: I have no idea where this will lead us. But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange.

Gordon Cole: WHAT A BEAUTY. REMINDS ME OF THAT STATUE, THE BABE WITHOUT THE ARMS.
Dale Cooper: The Venus de Milo.
Gordon Cole: THE NAME WAS MILO BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. THAT'S THE KIND OF GIRL THAT MAKES YOU WISH YOU SPOKE A LITTLE FRENCH.

Dale Cooper: Surefire cure for a hangover, Harry. You take a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice. You plop a couple of oysters in there and you drink it down. Breathe deeply. Next you take a mound and I mean a mound of sweetbreads sauteed with some Canadian bacon and chestnuts. Finally some biscuits, big biscuits, smothered in gravy. Now here's where it gets tricky, you're gonna need some anchovies. You take — 
Sheriff Truman: [groaning] Excuse me.
Dale Cooper: [smiling] That should do it.

Episode Twenty-Six [2.19][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] Pie. Whoever invented the pie? Here was a great person. In Twin Peaks, we specialize in cherry pie and huckleberry pie. We do have many other types of pie, and at the Double R Diner, Norma knows how to make them all better than anyone I have ever known. I hope Norma likes me. I know I like her and respect her. I have spit my pitch gum out of my mouth onto her walls and floors and sometimes onto her booths. Sometimes I get angry and do things I'm not proud of. I do love Norma's pies. I love pie with coffee.

Gordon Cole: COOP! THEY SAY THAT LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND, MAKES PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. ALTHOUGH THEY NEVER SAID A DOG GUN THING ABOUT A CURE FOR HEARING LOSS. [to Shelly] Shelly, you are a miracle worker and a goddess sent from heaven.
Shelly Johnson: I’m a waitress in a diner I’ve never been compared to a goddess before.
Gordon Cole: Well shelly you just don’t know your own value. [to Dale Cooper] COOP! SHE’S A RARE AND PRECIOUS INDIVIDUAL, DON’T YOU THINK?
Dale Cooper: I know what you mean Gordon.
Gordon Cole: [turns to Shelly] Shelly turn around and face me a moment before I lose my nerve. I’m about ready to leave Twin Peaks and I don’t know when I’m gonna return but I want you to know that meeting you has been more than a privilege, you touched my heart and I know that if I don’t kiss you now I’m gonna regret it the rest of my days.
Bobby Briggs: [seeing Gordon and Shelly kiss] Hey! What the hell's going on?
Gordon Cole: YOU ARE WITNESSING A FRONT THREE-QUARTER VIEW OF TWO ADULTS SHARING A TENDER MOMENT. [to Shelly] Acts like he's never seen a kiss before.
Dale Cooper: Uh, Gordon…
Gordon Cole: TAKE ANOTHER LOOK, SONNY. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!

Benjamin Horne: We'll of course take care of your medical expenses.
Dick Tremayne: How kind. One might also think worker's compensation of some variety will be involved...
Benjamin Horne: Easily done.
Dick Tremayne: Capital, Mr. Horne. I'll alert my attorney.

Windom Earle: Once upon a time, there was a place of great goodness called the White Lodge. Fawns gamboled there amidst happy laughing spirits. The sounds of innocence and laughter filled the air. When it rained it rained sweet nectar that paralyzed the heart with the desire to live one's life in truth and beauty... Generally speaking, a ghastly place reeking of virtue's sour smell, engorged with the whispered prayers of kneeling mothers, mewling newborns, and fools young and old compelled to do good without reason. But, I am pleased to note, our story does not end in this place of saccharine excess. For there is another place, its opposite, of almost unimaginable power, chock full of dark forces and vicious secrets. No prayers dare penetrate this frightful maw. Spirits there care not for good deeds and priestly invocations. They are as like to rip the flesh from your bones as greet you with a happy g'day. And, if harnessed, these spirits, this hidden land of unmuffled screams and broken hearts, will offer up a power so vast that its bearer might reorder the earth itself to his liking. This place I speak of, is known as the Black Lodge. And I intend to find it.

Episode Twenty-Seven [2.20][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] There are clues everywhere — all around us. But the puzzle maker is clever. The clues, although surrounding us, are somehow mistaken for something else. And the something else — the wrong interpretation of the clues — we call our world. Our world is a magical smoke screen. How should we interpret the happy song of the meadowlark, or the robust flavor of a wild strawberry?

[Windom Earle has Major Briggs tied up to a giant dartboard.]
Windom Earle: What is the capital of North Carolina?
Major Briggs: Raleigh.
Windom Earle: Fat load of good that'll do me.

Windom Earle: Garland, what do you fear most in the world?
Major Briggs: The possibility that love is not enough.
Windom Earle: [laughs] Oh Garland, please! I shall weep.

Pete Martell: Audrey, there are many cures for a broken heart. But nothing quite like a trout's leap in the moonlight.

Doctor Hayward: Dammit, Ben. It isn't that simple. I believe you. I applaud your desire to do the right thing. But goodness in you is like a timebomb. And there's nothing good about ruined lives.

Windom Earle: These evil sorcerers, dugpas, they call them, cultivate evil for the sake of evil and nothing else. They express themselves in darkness for darkness, without leavening motive. This ardent purity has allowed them to access a secret place of great power, where the cultivation of evil proceeds in exponential fashion. And with it, the furtherance of evil's resulting power. These are not fairy tales, or myths. This place of power is tangible, and as such, can be found, entered, and perhaps, utilized in some fashion. The dugpas have many names for it, but chief among them is the Black Lodge... But you don't believe me, do you? You think I'm mad. Overworked. Go away.

Episode Twenty-Eight [2.21][edit]

Log Lady: [voiceover] A log is a portion of a tree. (Turning end of log to camera.) At the end of a crosscut log — many of you know this — there are rings. Each ring represents one year in the life of the tree. How long it takes to a grow a tree! I don't mind telling you some things. Many things I, I musn't say. Just notice that my fireplace is boarded up. There will never be a fire there. On the mantelpiece, in that jar, are some of the ashes of my husband. My log hears things I cannot hear. But my log tells me about the sounds, about the new words. Even though it has stopped growing larger, my log is aware.

Dale Cooper: I believe the Black Lodge is the source of what you've traditionally referred to here as the evil in the woods.

Dale Cooper: Harry, we're in trouble. If the door to the Black Lodge does exist, it probably exists at a point in time. Now, an object, such as a door, normally exists at a point in time and space. By way of contrast, a shooting star normally exists at a point in time over a continuum of space. But taken from the star's point of view, it's a completely different experience.
Harry Truman: You just lost me.
Dale Cooper: If we're not at the right place at exactly the right time, we won't find our way in.

Episode Twenty-Nine [2.22][edit]

How's Annie? How's Annie? How's Annie?
Log Lady: [voiceover] And now, an ending. Where there was once one, there are now two. Or were there always two? What is a reflection? A chance to see two? When there are chances for reflections, there can always be two — or more. Only when we are everywhere will there be just one. It has been a pleasure speaking to you.

Annie Blackburn: What are we doing here?
Windom Earle: You and I have an appointment at the end of the world.
Annie Blackburn: He'll come for me.
Windom Earle: No, he won't.
Annie Blackburn: Why are you doing this to me?
Windom Earle: Same thing happened last time, when he fell in love with my wife. I took the boy right to the edge that time. Come in to the circle! I tell you they have not died! Their hands clasp, yours and mine! You'll not run from me now, not in the circle of trees. You'll come with me.

The Man from Another Place: When you see me again, it won't be me.

Laura Palmer: Hello, Agent Cooper. I'll see you again in 25 years.

BOB [possessing Dale Cooper] : How's Annie? How's Annie? How's Annie?

Season 3 (Twin Peaks: The Return)[edit]

Part 1[edit]

Log Lady: The stars turn, and the time presents itself

Roger: Mr. Todd?
Duncan Todd: Yes, Roger?
Roger: May I ask you a question?
Duncan Todd: Go ahead.
Roger: Why do you let him make you do these things?
Duncan Todd: Roger... you better hope that you never get involved with someone like him. Never have someone like him in your life.

Jerry Horne: Is that the new girl? Or should I say "woman"? A woman like that, you can't call a girl.
Ben Horne: Beverly, yes.
Jerry Horne: Are you banging her yet?
Ben Horne: Oh, Jerry! R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Respect. She's a beautiful soul. And she's married.
Jerry Horne: That never stopped you before.

Part 2[edit]

MIKE: Is it future? Or is it past?

Laura Palmer: Hello, Agent Cooper. You can go out now. Do you recognize me?
Dale Cooper: Are you Laura Palmer?
Laura Palmer: I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.
Dale Cooper: Who are you?
Laura Palmer: I am Laura Palmer.
Dale Cooper: But Laura Palmer is dead.
Laura Palmer: I am dead. Yet I live.

Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: You did good. You follow human nature perfectly.

Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: For a while, the day after tomorrow, I'll need to be on my own. That might be a good time for you to learn how to mind your own business.

Part 3[edit]

American Girl: When you get there, you will already be there.

Gordon Cole: ALBERT, WE'RE HEADED TO THE BLACK HILLS OF SOUTH DAKOTA.
Albert Rosenfield: The Black Hills? Seriously?
Gordon Cole: AS HAPPY AS THIS NEWS MAKES US, ALBERT, WE CAN'T PUT THIS ON THE RADIO.
Albert Rosenfield: Perfect. I've been dying to see Mount Rushmore.

Dougie Jones: I feel funny. What's happening to me?
MIKE: Someone manufactured you.
Dougie Jones: What?
MIKE: For a purpose, but I think now that's been fulfilled.
[Dougie's hand begins to shrink]
Dougie Jones: That's weird...

Part 4[edit]

Beulah: It's a world... of truck drivers.

Gordon Cole: IT'S COOPER. THEY FOUND HIM.
Denise Bryson: Where?
Gordon Cole: SOUTH DAKOTA, DENISE. HE'S IN A FEDERAL PRISON IN SOUTH DAKOTA. WE'RE GOING OUT TO SEE HIM TOMORROW.
Denise Bryson: I heard.
Gordon Cole: YES? HOW'S THAT?
Denise Bryson: You're taking Agent Preston with you?
Gordon Cole: YES.
Denise Bryson: Really, Gordon?
Gordon Cole: WHAT ARE YOU GETTIN' AT, DENISE?
Denise Bryson: Well, I know your profile, Gordon. Beautiful agent, barely 30...
Gordon Cole: I'M OLD SCHOOL, DENISE. YOU KNOW THAT. BEFORE YOU WERE DENISE, WHEN YOU WERE DENNIS AND I WAS YOUR BOSS, WHEN I HAD YOU WORKING UNDERCOVER AT THE DEA, YOU WERE A CONFUSED AND WILD THING SOMETIMES. I HAD ENOUGH DIRT ON YOU TO FILL THE GRAND CANYON - AND I NEVER USED A SPOONFUL BECAUSE YOU WERE AND ARE A GREAT AGENT. AND WHEN YOU BECAME DENISE, I TOLD ALL YOUR COLLEAGUES, THOSE CLOWN COMICS, TO FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE.
Denise Bryson: Yes, and as I've said many times before, Gordon, I can never repay you enough for that kindness.
Gordon Cole: AGENT TAMMY PRESTON HAS THE STUFF, DENISE.
Denise Bryson: I know, I know. I'm speaking more as a woman now than as the Chief of Staff of the entire Federal Bureau of Investigation. Don't you just love saying "Federal Bureau of Investigation" sometimes, all at once, unabbreviated? It just gives me such a thrill.
Gordon Cole: IT IS THRILLING, DENISE.
Denise Bryson: And Tammy... Tammy is such a beautiful woman.
Gordon Cole: THERE'S ROOM IN THIS FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FOR MORE THAN ONE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, DENISE.
Denise Bryson: [blushing] Oh, Gordon...

Deputy Chad Broxford: I thought that log woman was 10-96 and not even allowed in this building.
Lucy Brennan: That's on account of a kind of gum.
Deputy Chad Broxford: Well, I'll chew on that.
Sheriff Frank Truman: That's enough, Chad.
Deputy Andy Brennan: She gets messages from her log.
Deputy Chad Broxford: Pinocchio's friend.
Sheriff Frank Truman: Good night, Chad.
Deputy Chad Broxford: [scoffs] I'll go have a word with my pinecone.

Inspector Randy Hollister: This is what we found in his trunk: cocaine, machine gun, dog leg.
Albert Rosenfield: What, no cheese and crackers?
Gordon Cole: APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR ALBERT.

Part 5[edit]

Constance Talbot: Cause of death: Took me a while, but I think someone cut this man's head off.
Detective Dave Macklay: Here's the headline.
Constance Talbot: Actually, I just gave you the headline. [awkward silence] Yeah, I'm still doing stand-up on the weekends.

Shelley Johnson: What's up?
Becky Burnett: I can't stand this. I need some more money. I'm sorry. He's looking for work.
Shelly Johnson: That's a lot.
Becky Burnett: He will find a job.
Shelley Johnson: [sighs, hands Becky money] Honey, I can give you this.
Becky Burnett: Okay.
Shelley Johnson: But this is all I got.
Becky Burnett: Thanks. I love you.
Shelley Johnson: I love you, too, Becky.
[Becky leaves]
Norma Jennings: Shelley, this is the third time she's asked you for money in two weeks.
Shelley Johnson: I know.
Norma Jennings: If you don't help her now, it's gonna get a lot harder to help her later.
Shelley Johnson: We both know that tune, don't we?

Dr. Jacoby: So, what's on your mind tonight? You know I'm going to tell you what's on mine. We're sinking down into the mud. And the fucks are at it again! The same vast, global corporate conspiracy, different day! You can't see it without a cosmic flashlight. Guess what? I've got one. Oh yeah. And its beam, it penetrates the igneous rock of ignorance. And there they are, exposed. Wriggling, squirming, crawling on their bellies like foul maggots. Frantically racing back to the cover of darkness that they so crave! We're coming for you. Yeah, we're coming for you!

Charlotte: Hey, can I have a light?
Richard Horne: Come here. Sit down.
[he grabs her]
Charlotte: Hey!
Richard Horne: Hey what? Hey, what's your name?
Charlotte: Charlotte.
Richard Horne: Yeah? You want to fuck me, Charlotte? You want to fuck?
Charlotte: [scared] No. No, stop it!
Elizabeth: Hey, leave her alone!
Richard Horne: Little fucking smoking babies. Makes me laugh. I'm gonna laugh when I fuck you, bitch!

Part 6[edit]

MIKE: You have to wake up. Wake up. Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.

Albert Rosenfield: [caught in a rainstorm] Fuck Gene Kelly, motherfucker!

Janey-E Jones: Now let's get to it. Explain to me exactly what Dougie did to make him owe you money.
Jimmy: He borrowed it.
Janey-E Jones: What do you mean, "he borrowed it"?
Tommy: He took points on a football game. He got greedy, he doubled down. It didn't work out for him. Out 20 grand he was, plus interest. Now, that was three weeks ago.
Jimmy: Meter's still running. It's up to 52.
Janey-E Jones: So let me get this straight. People were playing games. He made a bet where he lost $20,000. But you want him to pay you back $52,000?
Tommy: Very good. That's correct.
Janie-E Jones: Okay, so you get this straight. My husband has a job, he has a wife, he has a child, he does not make enough money to pay back $52,000 for anything. We are not wealthy people. We drive cheap, terrible cars. We are the 99 percenters. And we are shit on enough, and we are certainly not gonna be shit on by the likes of you.
Jimmy: Nevertheless, lady...
Janey-E Jones: So here's what we're gonna do. Without my knowledge, my husband came to you for a loan of $20,000. You were nice enough to give it to him. But he should never have been gambling like that. I'm gonna pay you back. Now, at my bank, where we make less than one percent interest on what little money we have, people would be turning cartwheels just to get 25 percent interest on any loan, and that is what I'm generously gonna give to you right now, $25,000. That is my first, last, and only offer to you. What kind of world are we living in where people can behave like this? Treat other people this way without any compassion or feeling for their suffering? We are living in a dark, dark age, and you are part of the problem. Now, I suggest you take a good, long look at yourselves because I never want to see either of you again.
[she leaves]
Jimmy: Tough dame.
Tommy: Tough.

Part 7[edit]

Sheriff Frank Truman: How they bitin' back there, Doc?
Doctor Hayward: You know, just the other morning, I caught two brown trout in my pajamas. How they got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

Gordon Cole: HOW DID IT GO?
Albert Rosenfield: Not well. I said, "Hello Diane." She said, "This is about Cooper, isn't it?" I said, "Maybe." She said, and I quote, "No fucking way."
Gordon Cole: OH.
Albert Rosenfield: I was at home, dripping wet, on the verge of pneumonia, 15 minutes later. How was your evening, Chief?

Warden Knox: I've turned off the security cameras. We can speak freely and privately.
Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: The dog leg. That dog had four legs. One you found in my trunk. The other three went out with the information you're thinking about right now. Two people you don't want coming around here if anything bad happens to me.
Warden Knox: How do I know you know anything about this?
Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: Joe McCluskey.
Warden Knox: [nervous] What do you want?
Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: I want a car. Cheap rental, if you like. For myself and Ray Monroe. I want a friend in the glove compartment. Tonight. Smooth and safe. And if your mind should wander to a place where I might not make it out of here alive, remember the dog legs.

Ben Horne: [holding a room key] Room 315. Wait a minute. I think that was the room where Agent Cooper was shot.
Beverly Paige: Who's Agent Cooper?
Ben Horne: FBI. He was here, I don't know, maybe 25 years ago investigating the murder of Laura Palmer.
Beverly Paige: Who's Laura Palmer?
Ben Horne: Oh, that, my dear, is a long story.

Part 8[edit]

Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: Ray, I want that information.
Ray: Oh, yeah?
Dale Cooper's doppelgänger: [draws a gun] Looks like you're out half a million.
Ray: Oh, I don't think so.
[Ray draws a gun as well. Cooper's doppelgänger pulls the trigger, but nothing happens]
Ray: I tricked you, fucker!
[He shoots Cooper's doppelgänger in the chest]

Woodsman: [repeated line] Got a light?

Woodsman: This is the water, and this is the well. Drink full, and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes, and dark within.

Part 9[edit]

[Diane glares at Albert]
Albert Rosenfield: I know, I know. "Fuck you, Albert."

Detective Dave Macklay: I'm sorry ma'am, you can't smoke in here.
Diane Evans: It's a fucking morgue!

Jerry Horne's foot: I am not your foot.

Part 10[edit]

Dr. Jacoby: And the fucks are at it again! Fuck you who betray the people you were elected to help! We're sheep to these monsters, and they don't give a shit! We grow our wool, and just when we're getting warm, they come along with their electric clippers and shear our wool off, and we're just naked, screaming little fucks! No wool for us! Freezing and hungry! In the night. In the dark. And they don't give a shit! Then when we get sick, the pharmaceutical companies make billions! They own the fucking hospitals. Filled to the brim. They own the morgues! They own the embalming fluids! They own the mortuaries, the graveyards! These fucks! Is it the government's business who we marry? What the fuck do we care what the government thinks about who we marry? Are we gonna invite them to the wedding? Fuck no! Oh, they wouldn't come anyway. They're-they're too busy fucking! Fucking us at the grocery store! At the bank! At the gas pump! They're feeding our children chemical shit coated in sugar! Why don't these monsters bite into those tasty treats themselves? 'Cause they'll die in the streets! Just like us! And then they'll bloat like a big red fucking balloon. Stop! Stop distracting yourself with all this diverting bullshit, and pay attention. Save the children! Every parent wants to save their child. Buy yourself a shovel, dig yourself out of the shit, and get educated!
Nadine Hurley: [listening to the show] Oh, he's so beautiful.

Duncan Todd: Anthony, I asked you here because you're a creative individual, and you're gonna need every ounce of that creativity to do what I'm about to tell you.
Anthony Sinclair: What's that, Mr. Todd?
Duncan Todd: Do you recall my business rivals and bitter enemies the Mitchum brothers? [Anthony nods] You're gonna visit the brothers now. You're gonna pin the blame for the insurance claim that we conspired to deny for them, a loss of 30 million that hit 'em hard, on the back of Douglas Jones. You're gonna convince them that Mr. Jones has it out for the brothers, a personal vendetta, and then we're gonna sit back, and we're gonna watch as the Mitchum brothers take care of our Mr. Jones problem.
Anthony Sinclair: But what if...
Duncan Todd: Don't speak, Anthony. If you fail to deliver on this, then you'll have to kill Mr. Jones yourself.

Rodney Mitchum: What's he want?
Bradley Mitchum: Who?
Rodney Mitchum: That insurance fuck. It's after midnight.
Bradley Mitchum: The bastard. I could throw a car farther than I'd trust that rat fuck.

Log Lady: Hawk. Electricity is humming. You hear it in the mountains and rivers. You see it dance among the seas and stars and glowing around the moon, but in these days, the glow is dying. What will be in the darkness that remains? The Truman brothers are both true men. They are your brothers. And the others, the good ones who have been with you. Now the circle is almost complete. Watch and listen to the dream of time and space. It all comes out now, flowing like a river. That which is and is not. Hawk. Laura is the one.

Part 11[edit]

Log Lady: My log is afraid of fire. There's fire where you are are going. Hawk, there's fire where you are going.

Diane Evans: Can I smoke in here?
Gordon Cole: SMOKE? ASK MACKLEY WHEN HE GETS BACK.
Albert Rosenfield: Smoking's bad for you. [Diane gives him a withering look] I know. "Fuck you, Albert."
Diane Evans: That's right. Fuck you, Albert.

Lady Slot Addict: This is the man I told you about. I wanted to see you again. I've thought of you every day, what you did for me. You changed my life. This is my dear son, Denver. He's back in my life again. I have a little dog. I have a house. I have my life back again. How can I ever thank you? [to the Mitchums] I hope you realize what a special person you having dining with you. He saved my life.
Bradley Mitchum: Sure saved us a lot too.
Lady Slot Addict: Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Jackpots. I'm so thankful I got a chance to say thank you again.
Dale Cooper/Dougie Jones: Thank you again.

Rodney Mitchum: Mmm. This pie is so damn good.
Dale Cooper/Dougie Jones: Damn good.
Rodney Mitchum: A toast.
Bradley Mitchum: [handing Cooper/Dougie a glass] Dougie.
Rodney Mitchum: Here's to the pie that saved your life, Dougie.
Bradley Mitchum: And our money. [they clink glasses] Candie. Candie. Another piece of pie for our friend.
Dale Cooper/Dougie Jones: Friend.

Part 12[edit]

Albert Rosenfield: Diane, we know your work with Agent Cooper has given you more than a passing insight into the Blue Rose. Even though you're no longer a part of the bureau, we'd like to deputize you.
Gordon Cole: On a temporary basis, because we really need your help.
Diane Evans: What's in it for me?
Albert Rosenfield: Some cash. Not much. Maybe the satisfaction of learning what happened to your friend Cooper.
Diane Evans: Let's rock.

Ben Horne: My grandson Richard killed that little boy.
Beverly Paige: I'm sorry.
Ben Horne: Richard never had a father. [pause] I remember... I remember riding. My father got me this old Schwinn, second hand. He painted it green, got a new seat for it. Two-tone green, kind of a lime-green and deep forest green. Fat tires. Oh, it was so hard to ride, but I loved that bike. I loved that bike! I'd ride with my friends... Call the hospital. I want you to arrange to pay for all of Miriam, umm... I don't even remember her last name, but they'll know who she is. All of Miriam's medical expenses. Richard assaulted her. She needs an operation. Beverly, take care of this right away.
Beverly Paige: Of course. I'll do it right now. [leaves]
Ben Horne: [smiles sadly] I loved that bike. I loved that bike that my father got for me.

Dr. Jacoby: Friends, we all live in the mud. In the shit! Shovel your way out of the shit. This is your shiny gold shovel. Two coats, guaranteed. Shovel your way out of the shit and into the truth.
Nadine Hurley: [amorously] It's working for me, Dr. Amp.

Part 13[edit]

Renzo: What's the problem, Ray?
Ray: I killed that guy. He's the one I told you about.
Renzo: You didn't kill him too good, Ray.

Muddy: This man is our boss 'cause no one can beat him at arm wrestling. Imagine all the men who've tried. Many, many. In 14 years, no one's ever even come close. Any new guy gets one chance. One chance. And if you lose, Renzo's your boss. So you can leave now. If you stay and lose and you do not do what Renzo says, you die. So you decide. You stay and play the game. It's your choice. Looking at you, I'd say you better leave.
Dale Cooper's dopplegänger: What is this, kindergarten? Nursery school? What do I get if I win?
Muddy: You'll be our boss.
Dale Cooper's dopplegänger: I don't wanna be your boss. [points at Ray] But if I win, I want him.
Renzo: Step inside. Let's play the game.

Chantal: Utah. Mormons. They don't drink liquor. They don't drink coffee. They don't drink Coca-Cola. And they don't even have sex before marriage.
Hutch: Yeah, but when they do get married, I heard they they can marry, like, six or ten women.
Chantal: Funny there's not more of them.
Hutch: I guess it's the drinks.

Audrey Horne: What did she say?
Charlie: Audrey we've been over this.
Audrey Horne: Tell me!
Charlie: Audrey. Stop it.
Audrey Horne: [crying] I I feel like I'm somewhere else. Have you ever had that feeling, Charlie?
Charlie: No.
Audrey Horne: Like I'm somewhere else and and like I'm somebody else. Have you ever felt that?
Charlie: No. I always feel like myself. And it may not always be the best feeling.
Audrey Horne: Well, I'm not sure who I am, but I'm not me.
Charlie: This is Existentialism 101.
Audrey Horne: Oh, fuck you! I'm serious! Who am I supposed to trust but myself? And I don't even know who I am!

Part 14[edit]

Gordon Cole: WE ARE LIKE THE DREAMER WHO DREAMS AND THEN LIVES INSIDE THE DREAM.

Albert Rosenfield: Tammy. Case number one. This started the whole thing. 1975. Two young field agents investigate a murder in Olympia, Washington. They arrive at a motel to arrest a suspect named Lois Duffy. They hear a gunshot outside her room and kick the door in. They find two women inside, one on the floor dying from a bullet wound to the abdomen. The other holds a gun, which she drops as she backs away when they enter. They recognize the wounded woman as Lois Duffy. She speaks her last words to them: "I'm like the blue rose." She smiles, then dies, then disappears before their eyes. The other woman screaming in the corner, they now notice is also Lois Duffy.
Tammy Preston: Hmm.
Albert Rosenfield: By the way, Lois Duffy did not have a twin sister. Then while awaiting trial for a murder she swore she didn't commit, this Lois hangs herself. Those two arresting officers were Gordon Cole and Phillip Jeffries. Now, what's the one question you should ask me?
Tammy Preston: What's the significance of the blue rose?
Albert Rosenfield: And the answer?
Tammy Preston: Hmm. Blue rose does not occur in nature. It's not a natural thing. The dying woman was not natural. Conjured. What's the word? A tulpa.
Albert Rosenfield: Good.

Drunk: You drinking all alone tonight?
Sarah Palmer: Mind your own business, please.
Drunk: That's not very polite.
Sarah Palmer: It wasn't meant to be polite. Would you sit back where you were, please?
Drunk: I'll sit wherever I want. It's a free country. It's a free country. [menacing] It's a free cunt-ry. Maybe you're one of them bull dykes. Yeah. Come to think of it, you look kind of like a bull dyke lesbo. You like to eat cunt, huh?
Sarah Palmer: I'll eat you.
Drunk: What? Like hell you will, you miserable bitch! I'll fuckin' pull your little lesbo titties off!
[Sarah pulls her own face off to reveal a monstrous creature inside]
Sarah Palmer: DO YOU REALLY WANNA FUCK WITH THIS?

Part 15[edit]

Ed Hurley: Marry me.
Norma Jennings: Of course I will.

Hutch: The government does it all the time. People get paid for it, just like us.
Chantal: Damn right. Two-faced fucks.
Hutch: So-called "Christian nation". Might as well be "thou shalt kill". Show no mercy, forgive no one, fuck 'em in the ass. It's a nation of killers, killin' all along. Killed damn near all the Indians, didn't they?
Chantal: Yeah. But my fun's over once we actually kill someone. It's no fun torturing a corpse. I haven't gotten to torture anyone in a fuck of a long time, Hutch.
Hutch: I know. It just hasn't worked out lately.
Chantal: It's fucked.

Hawk: Margaret, what can I do for ya?
Log Lady: Hawk. I'm dying.
Hawk: I'm sorry, Margaret.
Log Lady: You know about death, that it's just a change, not an end. Hawk. It's time. There's some fear, some fear in letting go. Remember what I told you. I can't say more over the phone. But you know what I mean, from our talks, when we were able to speak face to face. Watch for that one, the one I told you about, the one under the moon on Blue Pine Mountain. Hawk. My log is turning gold. The wind is moaning. I'm dying. [pause] Good night, Hawk.
Hawk: Good night, Margaret.
[he hangs up]
Hawk: [sadly, to himself] Goodbye, Margaret.

Part 16[edit]

[after watching a shoot-out]
Bradley Mitchum: What the fuck kind of neighborhood is this?
Rodney Mitchum: People are under a lot of stress, Bradley.

MIKE: You are awake.
Dale Cooper: 100%.
MIKE: Finally.

Dale Cooper: You're a fine man, Bushnell Mullins. I will not soon forget your kindness and decency.
[Cooper shakes Bushnell's hand and turns to go]
Bushnell Mullins: What about the FBI?
Dale Cooper: I am the FBI.

Part 17[edit]

Albert Rosenfield: You okay, Gordon?
Gordon Cole: [holding his revolver] I COULDN'T DO IT, ALBERT. I COULDN'T DO IT.
Albert Rosefield: You've gone soft in your old age.
Gordon Cole: WHAT?
Albert Rosenfield: I said, you've gone soft in your old age.
Gordon Cole: NOT WHERE IT COUNTS, BUDDY.

Tammy Preston: He electrocuted himself by sticking a fork in a wall socket.
Albert Rosenfield: That's strange even for Cooper.

Bobby Briggs: What's going on around here?
Bradley Mitchum: Took the fucking words right out of my mouth.

Dale Cooper: I hope I see all of you again. Every one of you.

Part 18[edit]

Diane Evans: Is it you? Is it really you?
Dale Cooper: Yes. It's really me, Diane. Is it really you?
Diane Evans: [smiles] Yes.

Diane Evans: You sure you want to do this? [pause] You don't know what it's gonna be like once we...
Dale Cooper: I know that. We're at that point now. I can feel it.

Dale Cooper: Laura.
Carrie Page: You got the wrong house, mister.
Dale Cooper: You're saying you're not Laura Palmer?
Carrie Page: Laura who? No, Im not her. Now...
Dale Cooper: What's your name?
Carrie Page: Carrie Page.
Dale Cooper: Carrie Page.
Carrie Page: That's right. Now, I gotta go, so...
Dale Cooper: Wait, so the name Laura Palmer means nothing to you?
Carrie Page: Look, I don't know what you want, but I'm not her.
Dale Cooper: Your father's name was Leland.
Carrie Page: [taken aback] Okay.
Dale Cooper: Your mother's name is Sarah.
Carrie Page: [spooked] Sarah...
Dale Cooper: Yes, Sarah.
Carrie Page: What's going on?
Dale Cooper: It's difficult to explain. Strange as it sounds, I think you're a girl named Laura Palmer. I want to take you to your mother's home - your home, at one time. It's very important.
Carrie Page: Um... listen. Normally, somebody like you comes around, and I tell 'em to fuck off. This door'd be slammed in their face. Right now, I gotta get outta Dodge anyway. It's a long story. So ridin' with the FBI just might save my ass.

Alice Tremond: Yes?
Dale Cooper: FBI. I'm Special Agent Dale Cooper. Is Sarah Palmer here?
Alice Tremond: Who?
Dale Cooper: Sarah Palmer.
Alice Tremond: No, there's no one here by that name.
Dale Cooper: Do you know Sarah Palmer?
Alice Tremond: No.
Dale Cooper: Is this your house? Do you own this house, or do you rent this house?
Alice Tremond: Yes, we own this house.
Dale Cooper: Who did you buy it from?
Alice Tremond: Honey, what was the name of the woman who sold us the house?
'[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Alice Tremond: Chalfont, a Mrs. Chalfont.
Dale Cooper: Do you happen to know who she bought it from?
Alice Tremond: No, I don't, but Honey, do you know who owned it before Mrs. Chalfont?
[Man speaking indistinctly]
Alice Tremond: No.
Dale Cooper: What is your name?
Alice Tremond: Alice. Alice Tremond.
Dale Cooper: Okay. Sorry to bother you so late at night.
Alice Tremond: That's okay.
Dale Cooper: Good night.
Alice Tremond: Good night.
[she closes the door. Cooper and Carrie walk out into the street. Cooper is deep in thought]
Dale Cooper: What year is this?
[Leland Palmer's voice is heard from the house, shouting "Laura!" Carrie looks up at the house and screams. Fade to black]

Quotes about Twin Peaks[edit]

  • I’ll see you again in twenty-five years,” Laura Palmer said to Agent Cooper, in the mysterious Red Room, in what was then considered the final episode of the series. The year after next will mark the twenty-fifth anniversary of that episode, meaning, perhaps, that all of this has been fated. (Of course, when Palmer said that, she might have been referring to an earlier sequence in the Red Room, in which a visibly older Cooper meets her in a dream. Time in “Twin Peaks,” as in Hollywood, is nonlinear.) That final episode ended with a whopper of a cliffhanger; this time, the show’s writer Mark Frost has promised closure.

Cast[edit]

Regular cast[edit]

Guest stars[edit]

Twin Peaks: The Return guest stars[edit]

External links[edit]

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