Twin Town (1997) is a 1997 British crime film filmed and set in Swansea, Wales. It was directed by Kevin Allen and had a working title of Hot Dog; a hot dog van features in a number of scenes in the film. It stars real-life brothers Rhys Ifans (in his first major movie role) and Llŷr Ifans along with Dougray Scott. The director appears on screen, briefly seen as a show host on a TV set in the static caravan home of the twins while co-writer Paul Durden briefly appears as a rude taxi driver.
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- Adie, driving cars that don't belong to them, at 90 miles an hour, on the wrong side of the road, is just starting to take the fucking piss!
- Here's 20 nicker, now go buy yourselves a nice big tin of sticky-sticky and fuck off back to Noddyland!
- I built this club up from nothing, and I fucking loves it!
- This glue is for sticking my submarines, not for sticking up your fucking noses! Don't think I don't notice, cos I do. Buy your own fucking glue!
- You're an iffy copper that does a little bit a this, a little bit a that, but knows where to draw the thin blue line right fuckin' wrong, don't ya, Greyo?
- Greyo: Dylan Thomas called Swansea "an ugly, lovely town".
- Terry: I'd call it... a pretty shitty city.
- Greyo: Dylan Thomas didn't do as much fucking cocaine as you, did he?
- Ivor: What can I have for twenty again?
- Brothel Woman: Top exposed hand relief; Tits and hand shandies is it love?
- Ivor: Gwelio
- Brothel Woman: Righto then Ivor, Bon voyage. How's that love, hittin' the spot?
- Ivor: Oh yea
- Bryn: I'll have a chicken jalfrezi balti, half chips half rice, three onion bhajees, two naans and a grandfach!
- Indian Waiter: Benju gandju [In Punjabi] You asshole sister fucker!
- Lucy: She's a hooker Greyo
- Greyo: Yeah and I'm a scrum-half
- Adie: I'd better be off
- Jeremy: Off to the brothel?
- Jean: It's not a brothel, it's an executive health spa!
- Jeremy and Julian: Health Spa AHHHHH!
- Fatty: Cup of tea boys?
- Adie: It's not a cup of tea they want, it's a good fucking hiding ask 'em who was kind enough to lend them the two tone BMW they been driving through the fucking night; Go on, ask 'em!
- Jeremy: Fuck off you nosey bitch!
- Jean: Charming!
- Jeremy: Do you know what happens if they catches you doing drugs in Morocco?
- Julian: No?
- Jeremy: They hands you over to the fucking RUG squad. Aaaah I fuckin' had ew!
- Jeremy: How is it that a 2 litre bottle of coke costs 27 pence, but a 1 litre bottle costs 37 pence?
- Julian: Supa-dupa deal
- Jeremy: How much for a shag Adie?
- Adie: Awww dont worry lads, you can have family discount; but first we'll ave' to find your little willies first though!
- Jeremy: What's your handicap, Bryn? [Smashes golf club into Bryn's knee]
- Bryn: [In agony, with tape over his mouth] MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
- Jeremy: Not bad.
- Terry: What the fuck does that mean Greyo?
- Greyo: What does what mean?
- Terry: That, "ambition is fucking critical."
- Greyo: It says "ambition is critical." There's no "fucking" in it.
- Rugby. Tom Jones. Male Voice Choirs. Shirley Bassey. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogch. Snowdonia. Prince of Wales. Anthony Hopkins. Daffodils. Sheep. Sheep Lovers. Coal. Slate Quarries. The Blaenau Ffestiniog Dinkey-Doo Miniature Railway. Now If That's Your Idea Of Thousands Of Years Of Welsh Culture, You Can't Blame Us For Trying To Liven The Place Up A Little Can You?
- An extreme comedy.
- Welcome to ugly lovely town
- Llŷr Ifans (cred. Llyr Evans) - Julian Lewis
- Rhys Ifans - Jeremy Lewis
- Huw Ceredig - Fatty Lewis
- Rachel Scorgie - Adie Lewis
- Di Botche - Jean Lewis
- Dougray Scott - Terry Walsh
- Dorien Thomas - Greyo
- William Thomas - Bryn Cartwright
- Jenny Evans - Bonny Cartwright
- Sue Roderick - Lucy Cartwright
- Brian Hibbard - Dai Rhys
- Morgan Hopkins - Chip Roberts
- Buddug Williams - Mrs. Mort
- Ronnie Williams - Mr. Mort