Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck is a 2010 American vampire spoof film based on the Twilight film series and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It stars Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Christopher N. Riggi, Ken Jeong, and Anneliese van der Pol.

From the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie! taglines

Dialogue

Becca Crane: [from trailer] Jacob, run!

[Jacob jumps above Becca and lands in his chihuahua form]

Becca Crane: [disbelievingly] A chihuahua?

Becca Crane: [from trailer] Edward!

Team Edward: Edward? Where?

[sees Edward glittering in the sun]

Team Edward: Edward, we love you. You're the best.

Team Jacob: No, Jacob's the best!

[smacks Team Edward's face with a shovel]

Becca Crane: So are we going to be uh, at the same school?

Jacob: I go to school at the reservation.

Becca Crane: Oh, it must be fun to gamble and drink all day.

[Becca accidentally maces Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I was trying to help you, bitch!

Edward Sullen: Hearing you breathe is the greatest gift I've ever received.

[Becca farts in Edward's face]

Alice: Where did you go, silly rabbit?

Edward Sullen: [aiming gun] I'm a killer.

[Shoots Alice]

Chinese Food Delivery Guy: Someone order Chinese food?

Edward Sullen: [Throws him at his family as they proceed to eat him; to Becca] Let's go! They'll be hungry again in a half-an-hour!

(After knocking Jack's head off which smashes into the back of Frank's back window.)

Frank: Kardashians.

(Seeing that the sun is not out anymore)

Becca: Edward it's not sunny anymore it's twilight. (Moon shifts into a New Moon)

Darren: Hey, New Moon. (Shifts to Eclipse)

Daro: Augh! Eclipse.

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Vampires Suck