"Weird Al" Yankovic

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My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.

Alfred Matthew "Weird Al" Yankovic (born October 23, 1959) is an American musician, satirist, parodist, accordionist, and television producer.


If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.
I edit Wikipedia.
  • Alanis Morissette and I actually used to date. I especially liked it when we went to the movies.
    • AL TV, MTV, 1996; referring to the line "Is she perverted like me/would she go down on you in a theater" from Morissette's breakout hit You Oughta Know.
  • I wrote "Eat It" because I wanted to buy a banana boat for Christmas. It worked.
    • I Love the 80's 3D, VH1, 1985.
  • I have very mixed feelings about [Napster]. On one hand, I'm concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!
  • What kind of bananas do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
  • Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don't make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

Song lyrics

  • My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child.
  • I'll never forget the first thing she said to me, she said: "Hey - you've got weasels on your face." Right then I knew it was true love.
  • Look
    If you had
    one shot
    to sit on your lazy butt
    and watch all the TV you ever wanted
    until your brain turned to mush
    Would you go for it?
    or just let it slip?
  • I sued Taco Bell
    'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas
    And I got fat!
    I sued Panasonic
    They never said I shouldn't use their microwave
    To dry off my cat!
  • Never had a date
    That you couldn't inflate
  • We only torture the folks we don't like
    You're probably gonna be okay.

See also

Wikipedia has an article about:
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