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Tiffany Wilson/Marcus Copeland
- Oh yeah? Well, your mother's ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, "Only in America"!
- I am so ... frickin' pissed.
- Squeeze me?
- I got the buckwheat.
- Teach him how to say, "Yo quiero Taco Bell". 'Kay?
- Yeah, hasta la vista Schwarzenegro. Okay, bye.
- Now I look like frickin' Shrek.
- Hold my poodle.
- What a beautiful chocolate man.
- White meat only.
- Once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair.
- Easy white chocolate, I wouldn't want you to melt.
- Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?
- Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.
- [Marcus/Tiffany sprays him with mace] She don't know it yet... oh, but that's wifey right there.
- [while eating oysters] Tongue's kinda big.
- Shawn Wayans as Kevin Copeland
- Marlon Wayans as Marcus Copeland
- Busy Philipps as Karen Googlestein
- Jessica Cauffiel as Tori
- Jennifer Carpenter as Lisa
- Jaime King as Heather Vandergeld
- Brittany Daniel as Megan Vandergeld
- Terry Crews as Latrell Spencer