Xiaolin Showdown (2003-2006) is an animated television show about a group of four young Xiaolin monks: Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay whose task is to collect powerful items known as Shen Gong Wu while battling the evil Jack Spicer and the ancient Heylin witch Wuya, who are also after the artifacts.
- 1 Season 1 (2003-2004)
- 1.1 The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1]
- 1.2 Like a Rock! [1.2]
- 1.3 Tangled Web [1.3]
- 1.4 Katnappe! [1.4]
- 1.5 Shen Yi Bu [1.5]
- 1.6 Chameleon [1.6]
- 1.7 Ring of the Nine Dragons [1.7]
- 1.8 Night of the Sapphire Dragon [1.8]
- 1.9 My Homey Omi [1.9]
- 1.10 Big as Texas [1.10]
- 1.11 Royal Rumble [1.11]
- 1.12 Mala Mala Jong [1.12]
- 1.13 In the Flesh [1.13]
- 2 Season 2 (2004-2005)
- 2.1 Days Past [2.1]
- 2.2 Citadel of Doom [2.2]
- 2.3 The Shard of Lightning [2.3]
- 2.4 The Crystal Glasses [2.4]
- 2.5 Pandatown [2.5]
- 2.6 Sizing Up Omi [2.6]
- 2.7 Enter the Dragon [2.7]
- 2.8 The Sands of Time [2.8]
- 2.9 Hear Some Evil, See Some Evil [2.9]
- 2.10 Dreamscape [2.10]
- 2.11 Master Monk Guan [2.11]
- 2.12 The Evil Within [2.12]
- 2.13 The Deep Freeze [2.13]
- 2.14 The Emperor Scorpion Strikes Back [2.14]
- 2.15 The Black Vipers [2.15]
- 2.16 Screams of the Siren [2.16]
- 2.17 The Return of PandaBubba [2.17]
- 2.18 The Last Temptation of Raimundo [2.18]
- 2.19 The Year of the Green Monkey [2.19]
- 2.20 The Demon Seed [2.20]
- 2.21 The New Order [2.21]
- 2.22 The Apprentice [2.22]
- 2.23 Something Jermaine [2.23]
- 2.24 Dangerous Minds [2.24]
- 2.25 Judging Omi [2.25
- 2.26 Saving Omi [2.26]
- 3 Season 3 (2005-2006)
- 3.1 Finding Omi [3.1]
- 3.2 Bird of Paradise [3.2]
- 3.3 The Life and Times of Hannibal Roy Bean [3.3]
- 3.4 Omi Town [3.4]
- 3.5 Treasure of the Blind Swordsman [3.5]
- 3.6 Oil in the Family [3.6]
- 3.7 The Return Of Master Monk Guan [3.7]
- 3.8 The Dream Stalker [3.8]
- 3.9 Chucky Choo [3.9]
- 3.10 Wu Got The Power? [3.10]
- 3.11 Hannibal's Revenge [3.11]
- 3.12 Time After Time Part 1 [3.12]
- 3.13 Time After Time Part 2 [3.13]
- 4 Cast
- 5 External links
Season 1 (2003-2004)
The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1]
- Omi: What is that? Is it magic?
- Kimiko: It's a PDA. I'm sending a message to a friend in Tokyo.
- Omi: A secret message?
- Kimiko: Nah. I'm just telling her I met a very strange kid who apparently doesn't know about personal space issues.
- Omi: Really? Who? (Points at Clay) Is it that guy?
- Clay: Not me, partner.
- Raimundo: It's you, chrome dome.
- Master Fung: It is your most solemn duty as Xiaolin Warriors to find all the Shen Gong Wu before Wuya does.
- Raimundo: (raises hand) I have a question.
- Master Fung: Yes, Raimundo?
- Raimundo: I saw my room, and no bed. Just a mat. What the dealy? (Everyone stares at him) Um, we can talk later...
- Omi: And so our grand quest begins. Follow me, TO VICTORY! (From off-screen) I have no idea where I'm going.
- (Raimundo turns off the game Omi is playing and Omi starts crying)
- Omi: YAAH! MY LITTLE FRIEND HAS BEEN TAKEN BY THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL! (to the game) Po-chi are you in there?!Can you hear the sound of my voice?!
- (Raimundo laughs and Kimiko punches him)
- Kimiko: Don't mess with the monk!
- Raimundo: (Grimacing) Girl, you hit hard!
Like a Rock! [1.2]
- Omi: I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad.
- Raimundo: I stink, not I smell bad.
- Omi: I stink?
- Raimundo: Yeah, and you smell bad, too. *laughs*
- Jack Spicer: First order of business when I rule the world: vaporize all mimes.
Tangled Web [1.3]
- Omi: Yuck! This candy tastes most unpleasant!
- Raimundo: That 'cause it's lipstick.
- Omi: [reading the "Ancient Guide to Females"] Oh yes! Females are easily frightened!
- Kimiko: [obviously irked] You're lucky you're cute, Omi.
- Dojo: [after Omi's defeat] What happened? I blinked and missed it.
- Dojo: Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well.
Shen Yi Bu [1.5]
- Jack: Uh-huh, hmm. So Mr Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Jack Spicer, evil incorporated, hire you?
- Tubbimura: [Bowing] Hai. Well er, I have, as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.
- Jack: Yeah not really looking for H and D.
- Tubbimura: Er, I also have solid grasp of mayhem.
- Wuya: Mayhem is good.
- Jack: There's always a need for mayhem.
- Master Fung: You weren't defeated by your opponent Raimundo.
- Raimundo: Oh, no? Would you like to see the impression of his boot on my butt?
- Master Fung: [Hurriedly] Oh, that won't be necessary. You were defeated by your lack of knowledge. Remember, a drop of knowledge is more powerful than a sea of force.
- Raimundo: [Sighs] Can't anyone speak normally around here?
- Master Fung: Reflect on these things. As for me, I think I shall try my hand at Goo Zombies 2.
- Raimundo: Nifty! I should've caught it at nifty!
- Kimiko (Chameleon): Well, I hope you get hit by lightning every day 'cause you look super-keen!
Ring of the Nine Dragons [1.7]
- Omi: Now remember, we must find the.. er... thingie!
- All the other Omi's: (scratching heads) Ooh yes, we must find, we have to find the thingie!
- Jack: Any idea where we're going?
- Wuya: No, but I could always glide through the walls, and peek ahead.
- Jack: N-not a good idea.
- Wuya: Why? You're not afraid of the dark, are you?
Night of the Sapphire Dragon [1.8]
- Dojo: Maybe I can be the dragon of...........FIRE!
- Kimiko: Sorry, position's filled.
- Dojo: Then how 'bout soot?
- Raimundo: Soot? Not impressive.
- Dojo: And this is comin' from the wind guy? Ooh! How 'bout gas, huh? I eat a few cans o' beans and BAM! I'm in, baby!
- (after getting almost blasted by the sapphire dragon)
- Raimundo: You think he'd be grateful we rescued him from the volcano.
My Homey Omi [1.9]
- Omi: Oh, no! My friends are lost in New York City! How will they survive without ME?!
- Jack Spicer: Okay, got the Shen Gong Wu. Now, a little vaporizing of our enemies, and we'll call it a day.
Big as Texas [1.10]
- Clay: Hey, fellas. [sees his hat full of milk] Huh?!
- Omi: Only a 9 1/2 gallons. You get a free hat!
- Clay: RAIMUNDO!!!
- Raimundo: Think fast! [tosses the filled hat of milk at a furious Clay who chases him around the room]
- Raimundo: [cringing] What... did I just land in?
- Clay: That would be a cow pie.
- Raimundo: No! I know pies! Pies have cherry, or apple, or rhubarb! THIS IS NO PIE!
- Daddy Bailey: Clay, I reckon you've been a man longer than I realized
- Jack: [To Wuya] How come we don't have a relationship like that?
- Wuya: I'm not your mommy! Now pick up your toys Jackie, and let's go home.
Royal Rumble [1.11]
- Omi: My friends! Hearing the sound of your voices again will give me tremendous pleasure.
- Kimiko: Omi!
- Clay: Run!
- Raimundo: It's a trap!
- Omi: That did not give me as much pleasure as I had hoped.
- Jack: You know this trap would never have worked if I hadn't lost my Xiaolin Showdown in the first place. Wait, that didn't come out right.
Mala Mala Jong [1.12]
- Jack Spicer: Smell ya later, losers! (Tries to fly off but has his foot caught in a lasso)
- Clay: You'll smell us now, ya dirty snake!
- Kimiko: Smell us now?
- Raimundo: Clay's villain taunting needs some serious work.
- Omi: Oh yes. Squirrels are most fearsome opponents.
In the Flesh [1.13]
- Jack: Hey you know what they say, finders keepers, losers weepers.
- Omi: The only one who will be a weeping loser is you Jack Spicer! And you Wuya! You shall weep over your loss as well!
- Jack: Wow! That is the lamest taunt ever. Stick to the jumping and kicking Omi.
- Omi: As you wish!
- Omi: Raimundo, I am starting to think you are not enacting some sort of secret elaborate plan.
- Raimundo: Nothin' escapes you, Omi.
- Omi: Not even you!
- Raimundo: Wrong.
Season 2 (2004-2005)
Days Past [2.1]
- Dojo: Hah! The joke's on you Wuya! You broke the Reversing Mirror. Seven years bad luck! In, your, face!
- Wuya: Actually, since its the Reversing Mirror, its seven years good luck.
- Dojo: Ooh, hadn't thought of that. Crud.
- Omi: I am most confused. If you were just going to give me the pebble, why make me go through the whole Showdown?
- Dashi: Two reasons. One, it was funny.
- Dojo: True.
- Dashi: Two, to teach you something.
Citadel of Doom [2.2]
- Wuya: How like Dashi to give you the tool but not the knowledge of how to use it. He always was a fool. A smart dresser, but a fool.
- Jack Spicer: Me? Fighting for good? In a bathrobe? Forget it. Next time we meet, we're enemies again. [Is about to fly off when Omi grabs his trenchcoat and gives him sad eyes.] But maybe some time, if we're not fighting over Shen Gong Wu, we can all go for ice cream. My treat.
- Omi: Yes that would be most nice. We could get a Monday!
- Clay: Sundae.
- Omi: Even better!
The Shard of Lightning [2.3]
- Wuya: You didn't think I'd stay in that box forever, did you?
- Omi: Well, another 1500 years would have been nice!
- Omi: I would not count your ducks before they emerge from their shells!
- Raimundo:...that one wasn't even close.
- Katnappe: Stop copy me!
- Two Jack: Stop copy me!
- Katnappe: Quit it!
- Two Jack: Quit it!
[Katnappe look at the watch]
- Katnappe: That's it!
The Crystal Glasses [2.4]
- Wuya: (Talking to Omi) Soon you will be my greatest ally!
Jack: I'll even write your your own evil theme music! (dramatic music plays) Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!
Omi: This is NOT right!
- Jack Spicer: (To Pandabubba) All you want is Hong Kong?! Can't I at least get double-crossed by somebody with some vision?
- Wuya: Forget it, Jack. What happens in Pandatown stays in Pandatown.
Sizing Up Omi [2.6]
- Kimiko: (falls off and screams)
- Clay: NO KIMIKO!!!
- (Wuya and Jack dance to the can can as Kimiko collapses)
Enter the Dragon [2.7]
- Dojo: Why is everybody looking at me like I'm some sort of freak? I AM NOT A FREAK!
- Clay: Relax, Dojo. Nobody is saying anything (whispers out loud).
- Omi: Has Dojo ever gotten out of his box?
- Master Fung: It's only happened once. It was the last time anyone saw... Atlantis.
- Master Fung: It has already begun. A thousand years of darkness.
- Kimiko: Why a thousand?
- Master Fung: It is really 962 years, but, a thousand sounds more ominous.
- Omi: I did not abandon my post! I am still at my post, actually I am inside my post! But that Dojo pulled his sweater over my eyes!
- Raimundo: Alright, that's gotta be Omi.
The Sands of Time [2.8]
- Jack: [Holding the Sands of Time] Looking for this, Xiaolin losers? Too bad! You're out of luck and out of time! Haahaaha!
- Omi: It was up to me to find the Sands of Time and I failed all of you. My friends, Master Fung and the entire universe! I believe that about covers it.
- Jack: I guess this would be the part where I let out my new trademark evil laugh. Hahahahahahhahahahah! Muahahahahahaha! [This continues for several seconds]
- Omi: Not so fast Spicer! He who is last to be laughing laughs most loudly!
- Raimundo: What Omi did to that sentence is what we're going to do to you!
Hear Some Evil, See Some Evil [2.9]
- Clay: (Jack is reading Clay's mind) That Jack is slower than a three-legged cow in quicksand!
- Jack: What!? I'm faster than any three-legged cow! (is hit by Omi)
- [Megan appears in front of the monks rolling in the Jack's shield]
- Megan: Hi, I'm Megan.
- Raimundo: Oh, there's something you don't see every day. A little girl in a hamster ball.
- Megan: Are you looking for Jack Spicer and the ugly old hag? [everyone nods and she gets out of the shield] My stupid cousin Jack thinks he locked me inside that thing but I found the door.
- Jack: When hunting the elusive wu, you have to move as quiet as a cat. (stubs toe) OOOOWWWWWWWWW, OOOOHHH THAT HURT!!!! (Screams loudly, then covers up mouth)
- Jack: [Flying away] Don't worry Xiaolin Losers! I'll thank you in my acceptance speech! Hahahahaha!
Master Monk Guan [2.11]
- Chase Young: It will be up to you Dojo. Your stay here can be a pleasant or an unpleasant experience.
- Dojo: (Quickly) I choose pleasant, how about pleasant, pleasant would be nice.
- Chase Young: I thought you might.
- Omi: Dojo, are you alright?
- Dojo: (Annoyed) I'm sitting in a pot of soup, what do you think?!
The Evil Within [2.12]
- Raimundo: Hey Omi, everything cool?
- Omi: Yes I believe everything is the correct temperature.
- Raimundo: I can't believe something that small could put up such a big fight!
- Omi: [grabbing Raimundo's shirt] What! I am not that small!
- Kimiko: I think he was talking about Sibini.
- Omi: Oh yes! He is very small.
The Deep Freeze [2.13]
- Jack: Look at me! I'm the ruler of the moon. Watch! Look at its dance.
- Wuya: Stop playing with the moon, Jack. It isn't a toy.
- Dude-bot: Just because we are mortal enemies, does that mean we can't be friends?
The Emperor Scorpion Strikes Back [2.14]
- (After falling on ground while trying to stop the Star Hanabi)
- Raimundo: Dojo, dude, how come you didn't just fly?
- Dojo: Good idea. Just a little late.
- Wuya: It is time to trigger the Doomsday scenario.
- Jack: And which Doomsday scenario would that be?
- Wuya: The one where we unleash the evil forces of the Fearsome Four and DESTROY THE WORLD!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHA!
- Jack Hello xiaolin losers, ready to admit defeat?
- Omi Never, I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four!
- Jack (Mimicking Omi with an enlarged head) 'I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four!' Dude, get over yourself!
- (Omi seething)
The Black Vipers [2.15]
- Clay: [After setting Raimundo on fire] I'm sorry Rai, I couldn't help it. I smell my favourite meal and I-
- Kimiko: Every meal is your favourite meal Clay!
- Raimundo: I can't believe your first loyalty is to a pork chop!
- [The group are tied to the ceiling upside down]
- Jessie: Well it looks like our uninvited guests have decided on an extended stay in the hospitality suite.
- Omi: Why thank you! That sounds most inviting! Where do we go?
- Raimundo: Omi, we're already in the hospitality suite.
- Omi: Oh. I see. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the meaning of hospitality.
- Kimiko: Or the meaning of sarcasm.
- Omi: Oh darn this sarcasm! It always seems to grab my goat!
Screams of the Siren [2.16]
- [Jack is beating Omi in an ice-skating Xiaolin Showdown]
- Dojo: That Spicer kid sure has nice form.
- Clay: Whoo! Look there, a triple Salchow! [The others stare at him] What? Cowboys can't like figure-skating?
- Raimundo: Come on Omi. Just because you're built like a hockey puck doesn't mean you have to skate like one!
- Jack Spicer: I'm an artiste, I communicate with my feet.
- Wuya: If I had feet I'd communicate all over you.
- Omi: Oh, now I understand! Dayris wanted to know what Shen Gong Wu can create powerful, underground geysers to melt the ice and flood the world.
- Clowfang: Are you sure you're on the side of the good?
- Kimiko: Did you get the Black Beetle?
- Omi: Does it look like I got the Black Beetle?!
- Raimundo: No, it looks like you lost the Gills of Hamachi.
The Return of PandaBubba [2.17]
- Kimiko: Look! Over there. It's the Tohomiko Electronics skyscraper!
- Omi: Tohomiko? That sounds most familiar to my ears.
- Kimiko: Hello? That's my last name.
- Omi: Oh? I never thought of you with a last name.
- Kimiko: And that's my Papa's building.
- Clay: [In amazement] Your daddy is Toshiro Tohomiko the video game tycoon?!
- Kimiko: Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you all to him, he's super cool!
- Raimundo: And super rich! [His eyes turn into dollar symbols] (To Kimiko) Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite monk?
- Omi: (gigantic sad face) I thought I was your favorite...
- Omi: These workers appear most focused on their work. And their eyes- they have the same 'nobody is home' look as Raimundo does when he does his chores.
- Raimundo: [offended] Yeah, well... you're short and you have a big head.
The Last Temptation of Raimundo [2.18]
- [Jack is asleep]
- Wuya: Jack fire the laser. Jack!
- Jack: [He wakes up screaming] Wuya! With you it's hard to tell if I'm coming out of a nightmare or going into one!
- Wuya: Just shut up and fire the laser.
- Wuya: (During a Xiaolin Showdown) Shroud of Shadows!
- Kimiko: Hey! That's cheating! That wasn't one of the Shen Gong Wu wagered!
- Wuya: You're fighting evil. What do you expect?
The Year of the Green Monkey [2.19]
- Monkey: Mind turning down the volume? Some of us are trying to get a little shuteye.
- Omi: [Using the Tongue of Saiping] In the middle of the day? You are a very lazy animal!
- Rabbit: Huh, what a mouth on someone so small.
- Omi: I am not small, I am compact!
- Bird: Yeah, anymore 'compact' and we'd need a microscope to find you!
- Omi: Now I understand! Jack is only a mere puppy!
- Raimundo: ...Puppet, I'm guessing.
The Demon Seed [2.20]
- Vlad: I hear Wuya dump you, again.
- Jack Spicer: [Imitating Vlad] Nobody dump me! I dump Wuya.
- Vlad: That is not what they say on Internet!
- Jack Spicer: [Excitedly] I'm on the Internet?
- Vlad: Da, in warrior chat rooms everywhere! You big laughing stock! Now when person loses everything, new hip thing to say is 'Aw, I got Jacked!' [Laughs evilly]
- Vlad: What you know about Heylin Seed?
- Jack Spicer: I read something about it in Evil Seeds and Gardens. Why?
- Raimundo: I bet he writes those on the palm of his hand. [Kimiko snickers]
- Master Fung: No Raimundo, I write them inside my eyelids. That is why I blink often [Blinks rapidly]
- Dojo: Pops out of Raimundo's shirt B-U-S-T-E-D. Ooooohhhh![Shudders]
The New Order [2.21]
- Chase Young: You have learned well.
- Omi: Well, I was taught by the best!
- Chase Young: Thank you.
- Omi: I was speaking of Master Fung!!
The Apprentice [2.22]
- Clay: How do you manage to win every game?
- Omi: That is most simple: I cheat (they all look at him) No, no, I am a liar when I say I cheat
- Raimundo: How do we know that you're not lying to us now?
- Omi: (seriously) Because, you are all my friends, and I could never lie to my friends. (Laughs, knocking his head at the table) Ha ha ha, I have mastered deception! Let's play again!
- Omi: I knew you would twice-cross me! So I twice-crossed you first!
- Raimundo: That's double-crossed, but I think we get the idea.
Something Jermaine [2.23]
- Jermaine: [After Jack gets the Manchurian Musca] Yo Omi, you must be trippin'.
- Omi: I am not taking a trip!
- Jermaine: Your hotdogging cost us a Shen Gong Wu!
- Omi: Are you saying it is MY FAULT?!
- Jermaine: I'm saying, some poser may need a refresher course on how to be a Xiaolin warrior.
- Omi: A refresher course!? I should be TEACHING the refresher course!
- Jermaine: Man, you got an ego bigger than that dome of yours.
- Omi: Nothing is bigger than my dome! And I thank you to leave my dome OUT OF IT!
- Jermaine: Can you believe this guy man?
- Dojo: Hey, there are three things I've learned not to talk about. Religion, politics and Omi's head.
- Omi: I order you to spill your internal organs right now!!
- Jack: [Screaming] What kind of sick people are you!?
- Raimundo: I think he means spill your guts.
Dangerous Minds [2.24]
- Master Fung: [As the temple collapses] Remember, the fate of the world rests with you!
- Raimundo: Is it me or does the fate of the world rest with us a lot?
- Jack: What do you think the spiders want with us?
- Raimundo: Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess.
- Jack: [Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME!
- Clay: Relax. Spiders don't eat you. They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby?
- Jack: I don't want to be... what he said!
Judging Omi [2.25
- Kimiko: I was hoping we'd all rise together.
- Omi: [Looking sad] Aw, me too. [Then looking happy] That is why I will work extra hard teaching you until that day comes when you too are ready to become Wudai Warriors.
- Clay: Whoa, partner, and what makes you so sure YOU'RE the chosen one?
- Omi: [Laughing] Is it not obvious? Who else is it going to be? Raimundo?
- [Raimundo's head turns red and inflates while his hair starts to burn. Clay removes his hat, revealing a glass of water and he pours it on Raimundo's head. Raimundo gives Clay a thumbs-up.]
- Omi: I am sorry. I was not laughing at you but with you.
- Raimundo: I'm not laughing.
- Kimiko: Here's a wild thought. Maybe it's me.
- Omi: But you are a girl. [The others gasp] AAAAH!
- [Chaos ensues, ending with Omi beaten up on the floor. ]
- Raimundo: [Wincing] Nyay...
- Kimiko: And your point?
- Omi: Nothing, I like girls [He passes out] .
Saving Omi [2.26]
- Dojo: Very interesting... it says here that Alexander The Great had seven toes on one foot and three on the other.
- Raimundo: What about Omi?
- Dojo: Well, I'm pretty sure he has five on each. But I've never taken a closer look.
- Heylin Omi: If only I did not have to sleep! Then I could fight 7/24!
Season 3 (2005-2006)
Finding Omi [3.1]
- Chase Young and Omi [in unison]: Goat Biting Tail! Horse Skipping Pebble! Cat Playing Fiddle! Duck Flipping Burgers!
- Omi: Sparrow Eating Hot-Dog! [he then jumps off the rock]
- Chase Young: [Still in his lizard form and sitting on the rock, surprised.] Sparrow Eating Hot-Dog?
- Master Fung: That is correct. Only one would rise, but not until you worked together as one.
- Dojo: I don't know about you, but I think he makes this stuff up as he goes along. (laughs to himself)
Bird of Paradise [3.2]
- Omi: We may be outside, but we are not down.
- Raimundo: I think he means we're down but not out.
- Bird of Paradise: I have given you the greatest gift of all.
- Clay: Farm equipment?
The Life and Times of Hannibal Roy Bean [3.3]
- Raimundo: Clay, you know about tractors, maybe you can fix the Silver Manta Ray.
- Clay: Oh sure Rai, yeah. Tractors and mystical flying transports are like two peas from the same pod.
- Omi: So it appears that it was not Jack who acted so stupid as to free Hannibal Bean, it was [realising] ME?!
- Hannibal (as Jack): You got it sweet pea. Moby Morpher! [He turns back into his real form]
- Omi: Enough chat chit! Today victory is mine Hannibal Bean!
- Kimiko: This hardly seems like a fair fight
- Hannibal: True. Perhaps I should fight with my eyes closed.
- (It then cuts to Kimiko and Omi who look very ticked-off)
Omi Town [3.4]
- Omi: Now Dojo, you shouldn't kiss a horse on the lips before it gives you its' presents. [They all stare blankly] .
- Kimiko: Oh, kiss a gift horse on the mouth.
- Everyone: Ohhhh.
- Dojo: [Puzzled] I thought it was 'look a gift horse in the mouth'.
- Jack: Hey! You're not supposed to be here!
- Omi: Well, what comes in circles goes the other way in circles. [Everyone stares at him] .
- Wuya: Somebody translate! I'll be up all night.
- Clay: I'm guessing "what goes around comes around."
- Wuya: Oh please. That wasn't even close.
- Omi:MY LAST NAME IS CRUD?! OMI CRUD?!?!?!?!?!
Treasure of the Blind Swordsman [3.5]
- Guardian: [As he's being kidnapped] Hey! Who is that? Where am I? I need to use the bathroom.
- Wuya: [To Jack] What about the treasure chest?
- Guardian: What?! That's disgusting! [Pauses] You- you were talking to me?
- Jack: [Doing a crossword] What's a four-letter word for idiot?
- Wuya: Jack.
- Jack: Perfect!
- [Omi is stuck to a cactus]
- Kimiko: Omi! Are you okay?
- Omi: [cringing] I have a thousand needles in my backside! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!
Oil in the Family [3.6]
- Omi: We cannot just let Wuya and Jack get eaten by a big dinosuar!
- Kimiko: You're right! Someone better get the camcorder!
- Clay: Dojo, you're practically one of them critters! Have any ideas?
- Dojo: (Indignantly) I BEG YOUR PARDON! That's like me saying you're practically a monkey. Just because she speaks with a British accent doesn't make her smart, like a dragon! We fly, breathe fire and chew with our mouths closed!
- Omi: The jig is down! You're at the top of your rope! Spoon over that Wu! [Everyone stares at him].
- Jack: Oooh, oh! I got it! The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, fork over the Wu! (Starts dancing and brings out an evil genius ribbon).
The Return Of Master Monk Guan [3.7]
- Master Monk Guan: You will do as I say, and never, EVER ask questions. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?
- All: YES, MASTER MONK GUAN!
- Master Monk Guan: Good. Now, any questions? (Raimundo raises hand) HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT QUESTIONS!?
- Omi: What wise saying do you have for us?
- Master Fung: …I have none.
- Raimundo: C'mon, you can whip out one of those old cheesy sayings…(Master Fung makes an angry face)…that we all love.
- Master Fung: I am afraid I am out of any 'cheesy sayings'.
- Dojo: If you want I can give you your file. (Pulls out an extremely large folder of paper) (Master Fung makes another angry face) Not that you would need a file like that. (hides folder with a wide grin)
The Dream Stalker [3.8]
- Omi:Solution is most simple! Raimundo must never sleep again!
- Omi: During my shift, I shall keep you awake with the most ancient training method known as [hold a bucket of cold water] DODGE THE BUCKET OF ICE WATER!
- Raimundo: Huh? [cold water hits his face, which get frosted with ice] WHOA!
- [Omi breaks the ice off of Raimundo, who shivers]
- Omi: You may need some practice, even though you will never be as good as me.
Chucky Choo [3.9]
- Dojo: (to Chucky) You no good, dirty, rotten yo-yo thief!
- Omi: (To the Xiaolin monks) Monks, double your efforts....Raimundo...Triple yours.
Wu Got The Power? [3.10]
- Jack: That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?
- Hannibal: My guess, an extra chromosome.
Hannibal's Revenge [3.11]
- Jack(Kimiko) Mind Reader Conch!
- Chase I locked away that foolish vegetable once I'll do it again
- Bean You cross the wrong Bean, when you cross Hannibal Roy Bean! (Throws a big chunk of rock)
- Jack(Kimiko) Mind Reader Conch!
- Bean That Chase has girly hair, a real warrior shaves his head like me.
- Chase Hah!, you could pour fertilizer on your head and nothing would grow!(smirking)
- Bean Errrrr! Moby Morpher!!
- Chase Young: [To a disguised Kimiko.] You surprised me, Spicer. I'm rarely surprised, but never fooled. [Sniffs.] By the way, love the perfume.
- Hannibal Bean: I see you've brought your kittens to do your fighting.
- Chase Young: (Referring to Wuya) And I see you've brought my housekeeper to do yours.
Time After Time Part 1 [3.12]
- Dojo: I have TENS all around!
- Omi: I suppose beating Jack in the most colorful manner is the tie-breaker!
- [all grin evilly at Jack as they converge on him]
- Jack: No, no! You can't! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU?! AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!
- Omi: I fear I have ruined the future.
- Old Master Fung: Remember this young monk, the future can always be changed.
- Old Raimundo: Every once in a while, the old dude still spits out words of wisdom. But mostly he just spits.
Time After Time Part 2 [3.13]
- Raimundo: So, we need to stop Omi from freezing himself into the future, so he won't go into the past, where he did what he did which resulted in what happened. Simple!
- Master Fung: As I told you, a leader would rise from the quest, and now... one has.
- (Raimundo is suddenly lit up, and as he's engulfed by the light, his original red robes soon disappear and are replaced with a black robe with a dragon on the sleeve and a red sash on him, revealing that he has become the official leader of the team.)
- Kimiko: Way to go, Rai! (Jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek)
- Clay: You did it, pardner!
- Raimundo: (has look of amazement) (Kimiko jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek) I-I don't know what to say. Except I never thought it would be me... (Kimiko and Clay give him a look) ...Well maybe a little.
- (Raimundo then notices Omi standing behind Master Fung with a let down look on his face. However Omi comes out from behind Master Fung and sheds a few small tears... as from the moment Master Fung told Omi about the new students coming to the temple, Omi vowed to be a great leader. Omi, with tears in his eyes spreads a smile across his face. He and Raimundo bow to each other at the same time. Master Fung, Dojo, and the chosen ones smile too. Then, an explosion outside the temple occurs.)
- (Monks notice that every single villain they've encountered during the series are there with their original enemy, Jack Spicer smiling.)
- Master Fung: (to chosen ones, especially Raimundo who's busy removing his bandages before taking a second to survey their enemies) Now that you have risen to Shoku Warrior, your job has only begun. The survival of the world depends on you.
- (With that, the team launch themselves into battle against the Heylins.)
- Dojo: Not too much pressure there...
- (It then cuts to show Kimiko, Clay and Omi whose dots have begun to glow, running alongside each other and seconds later, Raimundo appears. As they edge closer, Raimundo then jumps into the air and prepares to launch a kick just as the screen goes black.)
- All in Unison: HAAIIIYYA!!!!!