The Amazing Digital Circus

The Amazing Digital Circus is a 2023 animated surreal comedy web series created by Glitch Productions and Gooseworx. It stars a young woman named Pomni, voiced by Lizzie Freeman, who is trapped in a digital circus hosted by an AI ringmaster named Caine.

Pilot

Caine: Welcome to the Amazing Digital Circus! My name is Caine! I'm your ringmaster, and I'm here to show you the most jaw-dropping, heart-stopping, mind-bending paraphernalia you've ever laid your eyes upon! Isn't that right, Bubble?

Bubble: That's right, Caine! I can't wait to see what you've got cooking up for today.

Caine: Well, let's not waste any time. Let's get right into the show.

(Theme song of TADC plays). Gangle and Zooble and Kinger, too. Ragatha, Jax and there's Kaufmo, whoohoo. Day after day after -- day after -- day after day we fly. Past the Moon and the Sun, and we don't know why!

Pomni: -W-W-Whe-- Wh-- Where am I? [wails] Ah!

(The Theme song is slowing down).

---

Jax: Caine, is this one of your NPCs or is this a new sucker? 'Cause if it's a new character, we're gonna have to redo this whole theme song.

Zooble: I'm not doing that again.

Caine: My, my! It appears a new human has entered this realm!

Pomni: [straining] How do I... take this... headset off?!

Jax: Just keep grabbing at it. That worked for all of us.

Pomni: [groans, gasps] W-what's going on? I-I-I put on some weird headset, and now I'm... here. Who are you, people? Why can't I take it off? Where am I?

Ragatha: Let's just try to calm down. Everything's gonna be okay, new stuff. We've all been through this. You just need to get your head to-

Pomni: What the [boing] is going on?!

Caine: Now, now, now, my dear, we can't any of that foul language around here. The Amazing Digital Circus is a place to be enjoyed by all ages. You my friend stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen! E-except for swearing.

Pomni: [swears multiple times, getting censored each time] Oh my God. U-uh, well, h-how do I... you know, leave?

Caine: Uh-

Ragatha: W-Well, don’t freak out about it or anything, but uh- we don’t exactly…

Jax: [comes] You can’t.

Pomni What?

Zooble: Shut up, Jax. But yeah, he’s right. Welcome to your new home. And your new body.

Pomni: “N-N-New home”? What do you mean?

Ragatha: Guys, don’t be mean.

Jax: We’ve been stuck here for years. Old Kinger over there supposedly been here the longest.

Kinger: Huh? Did someone say something about an insect collection?

Jax: That’s why he’s crazy. Heh-heh! Eh...

Pomni: [pants] Oh, okay, now I get it, this is a dream, should just play along until I wake up. Right?

Jax: Whatever you say, kid.

Gangle: They broke my comedy mask…

Jax: [steps on Gangle's mask] So, Caine… We having a new adventure today for the newbie, or what?

Caine: I’d like to give our brand new member a tour of the circus grounds first.

(Caine grabs Pomni's hand and gives her a brief tour).

Pomni: Uh.

Caine: Off we go!

(Quick transition from one location to another).

Caine: Here, we have... "THE TENT". This is your living quarters are, as well as all sorts of other activities! These activities may include... [dial-up tone blares]. Ball pits, mini golf, and more!

(Transition to a n extensive view of the location)

Caine: And here, he wave... :THE GROUNDS". Drown yourself in the digital lake or engage in ridery at the digital carnival! Night, day - It's all okay! The choise is yours! A cosmic buffet!

Pomni: Uh, is... that all there is?

Caine: -Of course not!

(The transition to The Void)

Caine: This is "THE VOID!" We don't venture out into the void. [spooky voice] Not even I know what's out there...

(A short period of silence)

Pomni: That's uh-

Caine: We stay here, where I can keep my.. [dramatic voice] hundreds of all-seeing eyes on you..

Moon: [soft voice]. Hello, Caine. I love you.

Caine: Eaugh! Let's get outta here before the moon gets frisky.

(Pomni notices the door).

Pomni: Wait, what was tha-

(The abrupt transtition back to the Circus).

(Pomni vomits on the floor).

Pomni: Blegh!

Caine: Whoa, clean up on aisle you!

Bubble: I'm on it, boss! [slurping the vomit]

Caine: Why are you like this?

Pomni: [groans] Wait, wait! W-was that an exit door I saw out here? Is that a way to leave?

Jax: What exit?

(Jax takes Zooble's hand and starts scratching his back with it).

Jax: If there was a way to leave, I'm pretty sure we'd have all left by now. [gagging]

(Zooble grabs Jax by the throat with a severed hand).

Zooble: Yeah, what are you talking about?

Caine: U-Uh, I -- [clears throat]. I assure you, there is no "magical exit door." You're probably just experiencing... "DIGITAL HALLUCINATIONS" From your mind's transtition to the digital plane.

Pomni: But, I-I swear, I saw...

Caine: [frantic] Digital Hallucinations!!

(Caine hangs in the air for a few seconds, thinking).

---

Caine: How about we talk about something else? Like your name!

Pomni: My name? My name is... uh, oh God, why can't I remember my name?!

Caine: Nobody can remember their name once they enter the Digital Circus. One of the few things I don't have control over are your minds. So, all I can help you with is coming up with a new one.

Pomni: Uhh, what's my name...?

Caine: Don't you worry your little head. Your new name can be anything! (a very fast verbal enumeration of the rules) Hereby acknowleging that your chosen name and or names may not breach the Digital Circus user license agreement stating that your name may not include objectionable content. Objectionable content includes but is not limited to sexually explicit materials, onscene, defamatory, libelous, slanderous, voilent, and/or unlawful content or profainty. What are you thinkin'?

Pomni: Huh? I don't care, just pick anything.

Caine: Let's see! [a roulette machine drops onto the ground and spins to "XDDCC"] What do you think of "XDDCC"?

Pomni: I don't-

Caine: You're right, terrible. Let's try that again! [spins the wheel, this time getting "POMNI"] What do you think of "Pomni"?

Pomni: Uh, sure. I think I just-

Caine: Gadzooks, you're right, Jax! We should have a brand new adventure for our new member, Pomni!

Jax: I said that like five minutes ago.

Caine: You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? death? Angel food cake?

[chomp!] (Bubble eats the whole cake)

Caine: YOU PARASITE! [Bursting Bubble]

Pomni: Uh, I don't really...

Caine: Since you're new around here, we're gonna make it a simple in-house adventure to warm you up to how things work around here.

Zooble: Wha-- No! God! I don't want an in-house adventure.

Caine: Don't worry, Zooble. I'll make it something unobtrusive that you can still choose to not get involved with.

Today's adventure is... "GATHER THE GLOINKS!" [cackling maniacally]

That's right! The intire circus tent will be ifested with gloinks, and you gotta catch 'em all!

Bubble: But what are they?

Caine: I'm glad you asked, Bubble. They're small--

Bubble: And what do they do?

Caine: They--

Bubble: And how do they--

(Bursting Bubble).

Caine: Gloinks are small mischievous critters that steal anything and everything they run into. Why do these humanoid hash browns do this? How do you stop them? That's for you to find out. Now, good luck, and have fun, my little superstars!

(Caine disappearing).

Pomni: What did any of that mean?

Ragatha: Oh, that's just one of Caine's little adventures. They're just something fun to do to, you know... prevent us from going insane. [chuckles nervously]

Zooble: [sighs] Speak for yourself. If anyone needs me, then [sproing!] off.

(Gloinks disassemble Zooble)

Zooble: Oh, God! Oh, jeez! No!

[gloinks boinging, squeaking]

Zooble: Oh, God! Agh! Somebody help!

Jax: [bored] Oh, no, they killed Zooble. Anyway, you guys wanna go get something to eat?

Ragatha: Oh, wait -- we should go check on Kaufmo. I'm pretty sure he'd like to meet Pomni.

(Gloinks dismanted Kinger's impregnable fortress from pillows).

Kinger: My impentrable fortress!

Ragatha: You wanna come with us to check on Kaufmo?

Kinger: No, not really.

Kinger: I think Kaufmo's gone insane. Last time i spoke with him , he was rambling endlessly about some exit. Kind of like you, Pomni. You might be going insane, too.

Pomni: But, wait -- wouldn't that more likely mean the exit does exist?

Jax: Could also mean you just have a jump-start on losing your mind.

Gangle: [quietly] Wait, what about Zooble?

Pomni: Well, I think I'd like to ask him about it -- U-uh, if this was real. Which it isn't, because it's a dream.

Jax: Heh, she still thinks this is a dream.

Ragatha: U-Uh, why are you looking at me like that?

Jax: I'm fine going whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.

[Gloink punches Jax]

Jax: Ow! Okay, i've already had enough of these things.

[sighs] You, me, and Pomni will go check on Kaufmo, which leaves Crybaby and Hoo-ha together to go handle the Zooble situation.

Ragatha: [laughs nervously] Do you think pairing them up together is a good idea?

Jax: Of course I do. They're the two most mentally stable and capable characters to be paired together.

(Kinger starts Ragdolling)

Jax: Come on, ladies -- Let's go harass the clown.

(The group goes to the Kaufmo's room).

Gangle: My comedy mask is broken again.

Kinger: Gah! Oh! Gangle, you startled me.

---

[Caine and Bubble laugh at a dining table]

Caine: Oh, Bubble, you always know how to make me say this exact sentence. [His Wacky Watch sounds an alarm] Gasp! An alert on my Wacky Watch at this hour? [the Wacky Watch reveals Pomni in the Void] Oh no. Someone is venturing out into the Void. They'll get totally spoiled! [disappears, leaving Bubble behind]

Candy Carrier Chaos!

Caine: Haha, looks like our new friend's already abstracted!

Ragatha: Well, I guess we’re not all cut out for it.

Jax: I don’t even remember her name, honestly.

---

Ragatha Wow, Kinger, check out this castle, it’s amazing!

Kinger: Maybe they got candy bugs here. It’s so beautiful.

Gangle: Yeah, this place is great.

Mannequin: [pushes Gangle, breaking her mask] Look! It’s the princess!