Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Scroll

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Scroll is a 2015 animated short film in the Kung Fu Panda film series about the origin story of how the Furious Five first came together and how Po gained his love for Kung Fu.

Directed by Rodolphe Guenoden. Written by Paul McEvoy.

Dialogue[edit]

Mr. Ping: I need you to autograph your stuff!
Po: Stuff?
Mr. Ping: Business has doubled since I turned your bedroom into a gift shop.
Po: Gift shop?
Mr. Ping: Dragon Warrior souvenirs with every purchase.
Po: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're selling my stuff?
Mr. Ping: Oh, no, no, no, no. [hands out a gift]
Child: Oh, boy! Thank you! [runs off with the gift]
Mr. Ping: I'm giving it away!
Po: What?! What about my Furious 5 figures? Where are they?
Mr. Ping: I put them in the box over there.
Po: This box?! [holds up the box which appears to be empty]
Mr. Ping: Uh… oops.
Po: [dramatically] NO!!!! [crying as he bumps his against a wall] No...!
Mr. Ping: I'm sorry, Po.
Po: Dad, they're handmade scale replicas with Kung Fu action. [Mr. Ping rubs his wings together in guilt] I made them the day I fell in love with Kung Fu. I have to find them. [accidentally bumps his head on the door] Ow! [opens the door and runs off]
Mr. Ping: Po! It was an accident!

Shifu: What are you doing?! That's not proper form! This is not control! And stand on your feet!
Tigress: I'm sorry, Master. I don't know what got into me. I won't let it happen again.
Shifu: I wish I could believe that. [sighs in disappointment] 100 laps.
Tigress: Yes, Master Shifu.
Shifu: Higher knees!
Tigress: Yes, Master Shifu.
Oogway: She wants to make you proud.
Shifu: Well, maybe I could be proud if she was doing the correct form. [breaks s teacup]
Oogway: Your form.
Shifu: Is there another kind? [breaks another teacup]
Oogway: Shifu, an acorn can only become the mighty oak, not a cherry tree. You must let her grow into what she will be.
Master Mongrel: [showing up; breathing heavily] MASTER OOGWAY! MASTER SHIFU!
Shifu: Master Mongrel, what is it?
Master Mongrel: He's coming. A giant of a warrior, he calls himself Boar.
Boar: I AM BOAR!
Master Mongrel: He's unstoppable.
Boar: I AM UNSTOPPABLE!
Master Mongrel: He's invincible.
Boar: I am invis--Insiv-- I AM BOAR!
Master Mongrel: He's defeating the masters one by one. He's heading this way. Shifu, only you can stop him.

[Shifu slouches his a chair, sick with green skin after eating his food, that Po accidentally sneezed on]
Shifu: What was…in that food?
Oogway: Please, fetch a doctor.
Tigress: [whispering to Oogway] He's in no condition to fight that Boar.
Shifu: I can hear you.
Oogway: Tigress is right. You need reinforcements.
Tigress: [steps up] Master, it would be honor to fight for you.
Shifu: No! You are not ready. [puffs up; Oogway laughs] Get me a scroll. [writes on the scroll] This is a list of four warriors. Find them in the Wang Fu village and hurry.
Oogway: No. Send Tigress.
Tigress: Master, I won't disappoint you.
Shifu: [looks at Oogway, then gives the scroll to Tigress; serious] Be back before dawn. Do not fail me.
Tigress: I will make you proud. [runs off with the scroll]

Shifu: Make it quick. I have a valley to defend.
Mantis: Acupuncture is a very precise art.
Shifu: Have you ever done this, before?
Mantis: [laughs] No. You're my first patient. [jabs an acupuncture needle into Shifu, causing his entire body to turn red and puff up] Whoa. That is weird.

Tigress: [arrives at the Lee Da Kung Fu Academy; to the four red panda warriors] Masters, the valley is in great peril. Master Shifu sent me here to fetch four warriors. I'm looking for… [Crane appears with a mop and a bucket of water while moping the floors] The Cleaner?
Crane: [looks around and lowers his head; smiling sheepishly] Uh, yes?
Tigress: Right. [walks up to him] Master Cleaner, it is an honor to meet you. Master Shifu has asked that you return with me to the Jade Palace. You are needed there.
Crane: [gasps joyfully] The Jade Palace?!
[inside Crane's imagination, Shifu gives him a thumbs-up for making the Hall of Warriors shiny and clean]
Shifu: Excellent work!
[cut back to reality]
Crane: YES! [calms down] I... [clears his throat] Yes, of-of course I'll go.
Tigress: Good. We must hurry. [they leave]
Crane: The Jade Palace! I'm needed there! [laughs in joy]

[After Tigress returns to the Jade Palace with Crane, Viper, and Monkey]
Tigress: May I add, it was an honor to serve you.
Shifu: [speechless] Why, Tigress, what is this? [coughs]
Tigress: The warriors on your list. [hands him the scroll]
Viper: [confused] Warriors? Where?
Crane: Uh…
Shifu: [takes the scroll out of Tigress' hand and opens it] This is not my list! Where are the warriors that I sent for?! [coughs]
[Cut to the four red panda warriors playing a game of cards at the Lee Da Kung Fu Academy]
Red Panda Warrior: Oh, is it my turn?
[Back to the Jade Palace]
Tigress: I–I don't understand. It must be an accident.
Oogway: Ah, there are no acci… [Shifu extends his hand, immediately silencing him]
Tigress: Master, forgive me.
Shifu: You disappoint me. Who will defend the valley now?
Crane: Wait, we can help Tigress.
Tigress: What?
Crane: We can… fight… a little… bit.
Viper: Yes, you can count me in too.
Monkey: Let's do this!
Mantis: I'm not actually even a doctor, so I'm in.
Shifu: You can help by leaving.
Monkey: Okay, bye.
Tigress: No, master, please, listen. I have seen them! They have skills!
Shifu: But they are not the warriors I sent for! [coughs]
Tigress: It has been an honor to know you.
Viper: But, Tigress…
Tigress: I'm sorry. [heads downstairs]
Goat Servant: [quickly running upstairs] Master Shifu! Master, the Boar! The Boar has been spotted by the Great Forest!
Shifu: Evacuate the city… [coughs] to higher ground.
Goat Servant: Right away!
Shifu: [to the four] You, you should leave now.
Crane: Let's go. [they walk down the stairs]
Shifu: [looks at Oogway] I'll do what I can. [coughs]
[Tigress sits on the edge of a cliff at the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom, sulking over her failure]
Oogway: [walking towards her] A cleaner, a comedian, a dancer, and even that little doctor. [sits next to her] It was no accident that you found them.
Tigress: [disgraced] I failed Shifu.
Oogway: Worse. You're failing yourself. No matter how much you try, you will never be Shifu. The question is: can you be Tigress?

Po: This is terrible.
Mr. Ping: Yes, they're leaving before breakfast.
Po: No, Dad. If I hadn't poisoned Shifu with my food, then none of this would've ha…ppened. [hesitantly realizes what he just said]
Mr. Ping: Po, you cooked a meal for Shifu?! [Po bumps his head against a wall] So Shifu ate noodles from Ping's Noodle Hut?
Po: Dad, I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you, but...
Mr. Ping: [hugs Po] No, this is fantastic!
Po: But...
Mr. Ping: Now serving the Jade Palace, Ping and Son. You can't buy this kind of publicity.
Po: But, Dad...
Mr. Ping: If we hurry, we'll be the only ones selling food to all those starving folk.
Po: Wait...
Mr. Ping: I'll get the pots.
Po: But...
Mr. Ping: Gather some roots and mushrooms from the hilltop and I'll see you up there later.
Po: [sighs in resignation] Okay, I'm on it. [walks out]

Boar: I AM BOAR!
Tigress: I hold my ground... steady, strong. This is the way of kung fu.
Boar: So, you're going to stop me? [cackles evilly] Let's see.
Boar: Is that all you got? I'm disappointed. [punches Tigress many times]
Boar: I was expecting a challenge. [knocks out Tigress and Cackles evily]
Oogway: Good morning Shifu.
Shifu: I must do something.
Oogway: No. The destiny is not yours to control.
Boar: [Cackles evilly] I AM UNSTOPPABLE! [cackles evilly]
Crane: Gocha.
Viper: Don't move sweetie. [kisses Tigress by the head]
Monkey: [Monkey doing full-on Monkey sounds] You know what the best part of the joke is? THE PUNCH LINE. [Monkey doing full-on Monkey sounds]
Viper: Need a hand?
[Boar gets mad and is blown back by Crane]
Boar: What are you doing? You are nothing. I just defeated Shifu.
Tigress: No. I'm not... Shifu. [jumps up] I am Tigress.
Mantis: Woah.
Po: [Gasps] Woah... [Watches Boar being battled]
[Tigress continues to fight Boar]
Mantis: Let me hold your breath it's gonna hurt.
[Boar gets pushed back really far]
Tigress: Alright, all together. Twist your hips.
[Po tries to twist his hips]
Tigress: Recoil.
[Po falls over but still watches]
Boar: [pants into being scared]
Tigress: And extend.
[Boar gets smashed by Monkey, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Tigress]
Boar: I've...been...stopped! [tusks break in slow-motion]
Po: Kung Fu. I know. I know what I wanna do. I KNOW WHAT I WANNA DO- OWWW!

Voice cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
  Feature films     Kung Fu Panda  (2008) · Kung Fu Panda 2  (2011) · Kung Fu Panda 3  (2016) · Kung Fu Panda 4  (2024)
  Short films     Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Furious Five  (2008) · Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Masters  (2011) · Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Scroll  (2015)
  Television series     Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness  (2011-2016)