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Seasons: 1 2 3 4 | Main

ALF (1986-90) was an American science fiction sitcom that aired on NBC. The title character is Gordon Shumway, a friendly extraterrestrial nicknamed ALF (an acronym for Alien Life Form), who crash lands in the garage of the suburban middle-class Tanner family.


Season 1
Season 2
Season 3
Season 4


Project ALF[edit]

[at the end of the hearing, ALF reveals his own gavel]
ALF: This hearing is impaired.

Colonel: Project ALF is about to be terminated. Not just the project, but the ALF.

Rick Mullican: We're on our way to Mardi Gras, thus the costumes.
Bouncer: What Mardi Gras?
ALF: What costumes?
Rick Mullican: The ones we're wearing.
ALF: [looks at himself again] What costumes?

Motel manager: You're not from around here, are you?
ALF: Minnesota.
Motel manager: Somehow I thought it'd be farther than that.
ALF: Uh, Michigan.
Motel manager: Ah, yeah, the wolverine state.

Melissa Hill: ALF, hide in the bathroom.
ALF: It's been a long time since those words were uttered.

Rick Mullican: ALF, you have a choice. Your money or your life.
[no response]
Melissa Hill: Well, ALF?
ALF: I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

ALF: [strapped into an electric chair] I take it this isn't the word association test.
Dr. Warner: No, no. We're going to conduct a different test.
ALF: I'm not sure I like the word 'conduct'. [looks at a High Voltage sign]
Dr. Warner: Oh, pay no attention to that sign, it shouldn't even be there. I'll remove it if it bothers you.
ALF: It bothers me.
[Warner gets electrocuted when trying to remove the sign and falls over as he begins to sizzle on the floor]
ALF: Medic. Medic.

[some time after Dr. Warner was electrocuted]
Dr. Newman: Hello, ALF, I'm Dr. Newman.
ALF: No need to ask who you're replacing.
Dr. Newman: We're going to try a little game called numeric sequencing.
ALF: Does involve electric shock?
Dr. Newman: Absolutely not.
ALF: Forgive me if I'm still paranoid, there's still a silhouette burned into the linoleum.

[the military is playing a video of one of the tests done on ALF]
ALF: This one is definitely the Pepsi.

[Mullican and Hill have kidnapped ALF and put him in a mailbag]
Dr. Mullican: Don't look now, the mail's awake.
ALF: What's going on? Oh, wait, now I remember, I'm being kidnapped by humans. There's a switch.

Military Researcher: Good morning. I'm Dr. Carnage.
ALF: Yikes.
Military Researcher: Yikes yourself.

Dr. Mockton: Hello, I'm Mockton. I'm going to show you some inkblots.
ALF: Does this involve electric shock?
Dr. Mockton: Let's not start that again.

Dr. Stanley: Let's try some word association. I'll say a word and you say whatever pops into your mind.
ALF: Food.
Dr. Stanley: I haven't said anything yet.
ALF: Nothing interesting, at least.
Dr. Stanley: Sit.
ALF: I am sitting.
Dr. Stanley: No, that's the first word: sit.
ALF: Oh, um... food.
Dr. Stanley: Sunrise.
ALF: Breakfast.
Dr. Stanley: Square.
ALF: Meal.
Dr. Stanley: Left.
ALF: Overs.
Dr. Stanley: Should we stop and get you something to eat.
ALF: I could use a little snack.

ALF: I'm a bit curious about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy here in the military.
Dr. Carnage: What about it?
ALF: Well it assume it's worked to you advantage.
Dr. Carnage: [to the camera] Stop the tape.

[after watching footage of ALF in a crash test]
Maj. Melissa Hill: That crash test is the perfect example of the cruel and inhumane punishment Alf has been subjected to, Mr. Chairmen.
Col. Gilbert Milfoil: He had an airbag, it just didn't work.

[Rick is angrily venting his contempt for Dexter Moyers]
ALF: Rick, I've never seen you like this.
Dr. Mullican: Nah, I just don't like the guy, is all.
ALF: No, I mean from this angle... and I thought I had a lot of nose hair.


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