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Aladdin and the King of Thieves

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Aladdin and the King of Thieves is a 1996 Disney direct-to-video animated film. It is the second sequel to Aladdin, following The Return of Jafar; and the last of the Aladdin films and the animated series.

Dialogue

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[first scene]
Genie: [disguised as an elderly man] Ooh, in all my years, never have I seen the streets so full of bustle and hustle and assorted commotion!
Razoul: Our princess is to wed.
Genie: Oh, wonderful! And who's the lucky prince?
Razoul: Not a prince at all. Just a no-account street rat.
Genie: [reverts to his true form] NO WAY! [grabs Razoul] Try it phonetically. It's... ALADDIN! [a neon lit "Aladdin" sign appears, then blinks out] Aww. Some of you don't believe. [the main title appears as fireworks explode] [as Tinker Bell] In color! [giggles]
Genie: And your name is...?
Thor: [lispy voice] I'm Thor.
Genie: You're Thor?
Thor: Well, it hurts.
Genie: Once again, this whole broadcast has been brought to you by sand! It's everywhere! Get used to it!
Iago: Meet your match, Zorro!
Cassim: Good birdie. Polly want a little...
Iago: Say "cracker" and I'll let you have it on principle!
Genie: Hmmm, maybe you, you could elope! No, you cantelope, [pulls a cantaloupe from nowhere] But oh Honeydew! [slaps fruit into view, it turns into a Cinderella carriage] I dunno if I should put it in Props or Produce! Please, don't squeeze the tires, they're not quite ripe!
Aladdin: What's the ultimate treasure?
Cassim: The big one, boy. The Hand of Midas.
Aladdin: It's just a myth.
Cassim: It's not a myth, boy! It was once right here. Look, there's your proof! From stern to stem, every piece of rigging, every peg and board, all of it...solid gold!
Abu: Ooooh brother!
Iago: Adopt me, daddy-o!
Cassim: Touched by the Hand of Midas.
Aladdin: And sunk by it.
Razoul: This is the spot, men.
Fazal: But there is nothing here.
Razoul: No, but watch. Open caraway!
[The cave doesn't open]
Hakim: There is still nothing here.
Razoul: [mutters] When I get a hold of that no good...
Fazal: But I thought you said it was "open sesame".
[The ground vibrates as the cave opens up, Razoul grins wickedly]
Genie: Security's tight. No big crowd. Immediate family only.
Aladdin: Perfect. Because this is my...
Genie: No lowlifes this time. Other than the parrot, of course. Observe! [pushes a button on the remote control]
Robo-Genie: [appears] You have violated the perimeter of the Aladdin and Jasmine wedding! [arms his lasers] Prepare to be vaporized. Thank you! [opens fire; Genie, Aladdin, Cassim, and Iago duck]
Genie: Armed and dangerous! I'd like to see one of those 40 Thieves get within an inch of your wedding.
Iago: Ahem! Allow me to introduce...
Cassim: [laughs] The King of Thieves.
Genie: [shrieks; to his walkie talkie] All units, we have a Code Red! [then transforms into dozens of S.W.A.T. troopers, who take up positions around the room, at the same time the area is locked up by sealed doors; as multiple S.W.A.T. troopers] Code Red! Code Red! [as Scottish men] Come on, boys! Follow me! [all play bagpipes; as the Lone Ranger] Cavalry, FORWARD! [all Lone Rangers follow him; as paratroopers jumping out of a plane] Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! [as Pocahontas] Pocahontas! [all the Genies surround Cassim at gunpoint on all sides] Do not attempt to move or we'll be shooting ourselves!
Aladdin: [tries to push through the Genies] Genie!
Genie: Back off, Al! This creep's got a yellow sheet as long as my arm.
Aladdin: Genie, meet my dad.
[All the Genies stare wide-eyed at Cassim, who glares]
Genie: Stand down, men. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. [the other Genies disappear; to Cassim, threateningly] If you're Al's dad and the King of Thieves, I just wanna know one thing.
Cassim: Yeah?
Genie: [turns into a waiter] Will you be havin' the chicken or the sea bass?
Aladdin: Where is he?
Genie: [turns into Pumbaa from The Lion King] Hakuna Matata! [turns back, looks scared] Whoa. I was having an out-of-movie experience.
Aladdin: Genie, I need my father's clothes.
Genie: Al, c'mon! Why you gonna try on the King of Thieves get-up? Might I suggest something that doesn't actually say "ARREST ME"?! [in black and white prisoner clothes]
Cassim: Who-?
Aladdin: I've come to say "goodbye".
Cassim: Why are you-?
Aladdin: We don't have much time. While the guards chase me, you get out.
Cassim: I can't let you-
Aladdin: Forget it! They can't catch me. [tosses Cassim the keys]
Cassim: [to himself] He even sounds like me.
Sultan: Frankly my boy, your actions were most disappointing.
Razoul: It is tragic, Your Highness, but the street rat has obviously followed in his father's footsteps. Aladdin is a criminal.
Genie: [as an attorney] I object, Your Honor! (turns Razoul into a bailiff and the Sultan into the judge) I object to that outrageous statement. And I object to a tertiary character having any lines during my big courtroom scene. (Hands him a suitcase and blasts him out of sight) Take this to a higher court, ciao!
Thief: It is a good day to die.
Sa'luk: Or to come back from the dead.
Aladdin: [on the Hand of Midas] After all these years, you finally have your treasure.
Cassim: This thing? No. This wretched thing almost cost me the ultimate treasure. [hugs Aladdin] It's you, son. You are my ultimate treasure. I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize it.
Cassim: So, you little turkey, come to say goodbye?
Iago: Nah, I already said my goodbyes. [tears up suddenly] Of course, the monkey had to cry, and that got me going... [lets out a sob as he thinks of having to leave Abu, once his enemy and now his dearest friend]

Cast

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