Birdman (film)

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Birdman is a 2014 black comedy film about a washed-up actor who once played an iconic superhero who must overcome his ego and family trouble as he mounts a Broadway play in a bid to reclaim his past glory.

Directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu. Written by Alejandro González Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Jr., and Armando Bo.

Riggan Thomson[edit]

  • [as Birdman] How did we end up here? This place is horrible. Smells like balls.
  • [as Birdman] It's a beautiful day. Forget about the Times... everyone else has. Come on. Stand up! So you're not a great actor. Who cares? You're much more than that. You tower over these other theater douchebags. You're a movie star, man! You're a global force! Don't you get it? You spent your life building a bank account and a reputation... and you blew 'em both. Good for you. Fuck it. We'll make a comeback. They're waiting for something huge. Well, give it to them. Shave off that pathetic goatee. Get some surgery! Sixty's the new thirty, motherfucker. You're the original. You paved the way for these other clowns. Give the people what they want... old-fashioned apocalyptic porn. Birdman: The Phoenix Rises. Pimple-faced gamers creaming in their pants. A billion worldwide, guaranteed. You are larger than life, man. You save people from their boring, miserable lives. You make them jump, laugh, shit their pants. All you have to do is...
  • [as Birdman] That's what I'm talking about. Bones rattling! Big, loud, fast! Look at these people, at their eyes... they're sparkling. They love this shit. They love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit. Yes. And the next time you screech, it'll explode into millions of eardrums. You'll glimmer on thousands of screens around the globe. Another blockbuster. You are a god. See? There you go, you motherfucker. Gravity doesn't even apply to you. Wait till you see the faces of those who thought we were finished. Listen to me. Let's go back one more time and show them what we're capable of. We have to end it on our own terms... with a grand gesture. Flames. Sacrifice. Icarus. You can do it. You hear me? You are... Birdman!
  • I'm nothing. I'm not even here.

Mike Shiner[edit]

  • Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige.
  • Leslie, play with my balls.


Lesley: Why don't I have any self-respect?
Laura: You're an actress.

Jake: Oh my gosh! How do you know Mike Shiner?
Lesley: We share a vagina.

Mike: Does she speak?
Sam: She does. Yeah, she can sit, stay, and roll over if you have any treats.

Riggan: Listen to me. I'm trying to do something important.
Sam: This is not important.
Riggan: It's important to me! Alright? Maybe not to you, or your cynical friends whose only ambition is to go viral. But to me... To me... this is - God. This is my career, this is my chance to do some work that actually means something.
Sam: Means something to who? You had a career before the third comic book movie, before people began to forget who was inside the bird costume. You're doing a play based on a book that was written 60 years ago, for a thousand rich old white people whose only real concern is gonna be where they go to have their cake and coffee when it's over. And let's face it, Dad, you're not doing this for the sake of art. You're doing this, because you wanna feel relevant again. Well guess what, there's an entire world out there where people fight to be relevant every single day. And you act like it doesn't exist! Things are happening in a place that you ignore, a place that, by the way, has already forgotten about you. I mean, who the fuck are you? You hate bloggers. You mock Twitter. You don't even have a Facebook page. You're the one who doesn't exist. You're doing this because you're scared to death, like the rest of us, that you don't matter. And you know what? You're right. You don't. It's not important, okay? You're not important. Get used to it. [long pause] Dad...

Sam: Truth or dare?
Mike: Truth.
Sam: You're boring.
Mike: No, truth is always interesting.


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