Boy Meets World (season 2)

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Boy Meets World (1993–2000) was a television sitcom in which Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) experiences all the twists and turns of life along with his teacher, Mr. Feeny (William Daniels); his brother, Eric (Will Friedle); his best friend, Shawn (Rider Strong); and his girlfriend, Topanga (Danielle Fishel).

Back 2 School [2.1]

Cory: See, I've been doing my homework.

Amy: You've done homework?

Cory: It's a metaphor. So how do I avoid years of humiliation and abuse?

Alan: Don't get married. [Amy smacks him] It's a metaphor!

Shawn: Why did we have to leave the old school. I was so cool in the old school. They had no right to pass me. I am an idiot.

Mr. Feeny: Well Mr. Matthews, why don't we treat this little rendezvous as a dress rehearsal for the many visits we'll undoubtedly have this year.

Cory: Huh?

Mr. Feeny: Get out of my face!!!!

Pairing Off [2.2]

[Cory catches Eric making out with a girl.]

Eric: [panicking] Cory, we're studying.

Cory: So am I!

Cory: [in health class] Well, the man's got the sperm and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month an egg slides down the [sic]'Philippine' tube towards the uterus. The first sperm to reach the egg wins, it gets a medal, it's born, you name him Cory, you push him out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life.

Notorious [2.3]

(About rats)

Eric: You named them after yourselves?

Cory: Yeah. Shawn's the one chewing the lock. I'm the one with the skin disease.

Cory: "John Adam's High's New Principal is Mr. George Weeny." Can you imagine five thousand students reading this?

Shawn: Power; ultimate power.

Cory: Yeah, but... we would never... would we?

Shawn: Power!

Shawn: What are we now?

Cory: We are lowly, 7th grade sewer scum who name rats after ourselves to feel important.

Shawn: And how do you feel about this?

Cory: Better than the guys with no rats.

Me and Mr. Joad [2.4]

[Mr. Feeny has sent Mr. Turner's students back to class.]

Turner: What about Hunter and Matthews?

Feeny: Ah. For those two, I shall have to go nuclear.

Turner: And that would mean?

Feeny: I shall call their mommies.

Feeny: The football season...

Shawn: Oh, no.

Feeny: CANCELED!

Shawn: But that means...

Feeny: Yes, Mr. Hunter. No cheerleaders!

Shawn: [falling to his knees] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cory: Shawn, it's a strike. We have to make sacrifices.

Shawn: [hysterical] But he's taking my girls! Why can't we just sacrifice you?

[When the class refuses to take the test]

Feeny: I realize that all you seventh graders are delicate, adolescent flowers just beginning your high school blooming. And so I say this with utmost sensitivity. Take this test... or die.

[After the class walks out]

Feeny: They have demonstrated the power of labor. Now let's show them what management can do.

Turner: [smiling] Cave? We're gonna cave?

Feeny: You know, you seem amused by this display of defiance, Mr. Turner.

Turner: Oh, I am, I gotta say. Because if I had done to me what I did to them, then I'd have done the same thing to me that they did.

Feeny: [After a confused pause] Go to the board and diagram that sentence.

The Uninvited [2.5]

Cory: Do you think I'm a geek?

Shawn: Of course not.

Cory: So you think I'm cool?

Shawn: Of course not.

Cory: Then what am I?!

Shawn: You're Cory! I'm Shawn- just like it's always been. What else do you need to know?

Alan: [smelling Cory's cologne as he comes down the stairs behind him] What's that smell?... Oh, my God, I'm rotting!

Cory: Relax, Dad, it's just my Rampaging Stallion. What do you think?

Alan: [waving a magazine] I think if the party doesn't have adequate ventilation, you're all gonna die!

Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? [2.6]

Cory: Shawn, what I'm about to tell you is so strange, no one in their right mind would believe it.

Shawn: Then I'm your guy.

Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I wouldn't be taking out that garbage if I were you.

Cory: I had to. It was starting to move.

Feeny: Haven't you heard?

Cory: I haven't heard anything. I live upstairs.

Feeny: Well, it seems that a wolf escaped from the Philadelphia Zoo. Authorities believe that it may well be somewhere in our area.

Cory: A wolf? Out here in the burbs?

Feeny: Yes. Probably looking for better schools.

Cory: So how come you're taking your garbage back inside the house?

Feeny: Wolves have a keen sense of smell. The garbage would only attract them.

Cory: So your plan is to lure them into your living room?

[Cory thinks he is turning into a werewolf]

Madame Mosbenskias: Come to me, Werewolf Boy.

Cory: You know.

Madame Mosbenskias: I know many things, I know you were bitten by a wolf.

Cory: It's true.

Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are now becoming a wolf.

Cory: That's amazing.

Madame Mosbenskias: I know you are recently divorced.

Cory: What?

Madame Mosbenskias: You're not Billy Joel?

Cory: No.

Madame Mosbenskias: Well, then, you're just a wolf.

Wake Up, Little Cory [2.7]

Alan: Why is that Shawn? Why is my son so godlike and popular?

Shawn: Because people have finally begun to realize how well brought up he is?

Alan: That the best you can do?

Shawn: Yeah, well, my mom smoked when she was pregnant.

Topanga: You know what I want? I want my good name back.

Cory: Well, some people might argue that Topanga isn't the best name to begin with.

Band on the Run [2.8]

Cory: Shawn Look who they got to play at the dance.

Shawn: The Exits; they're great!

Cory: They're us!

Shawn: Oooh... They're not so good.

Band guy: Hey, you. Busy?

Cory: You're not gonna ask me to the dance, are you?

Band guy: What if I did?

Cory: I'd say, "Pick me up at eight, but no slow dances."

Fear Strikes Out [2.9]

Joey: That's a good one, Harley. That's a great one. I'm gonna be laughin' at that one for years and years. I'm gonna be tellin' my grandkids about it, like, 60 years from now. Unless I don't have grandkids, then I guess I'll have to tell some strange kids in the park, and the cops will come and say, "Hey, you, in the raincoat —"

Harley: Shut up!

Joey: Okay.

Cory: You know, I'm thinking of becoming a poet. There once was a boy named Cory...

Eric: Who now has an interesting story...

Cory: He learned about kissing...

Eric: And all he was missing...

Shawn: When he and Topanga made out!

Cory: Shawn, can you say "summer school"?

Topanga: So, you're just doing this so you won't be different.

Cory: I'm just trying to survive this.

Topanga: Oh.

Cory: No, it's not you, Topanga. It's me. I just can't perform under all this pressure.

Topanga: It's Ok. Relax This happens to lots of guys.

Cory: How do you know?

Topanga: Well, you know, girls talk.

Cory: Oh, man. Listen, when you talk to girls, this did not happen to me. Nothing happened. I mean, something happened, but Whatever was supposed to happen, did.

Topanga: Cory, do you wanna just talk?

Cory: Could we?

Topanga: So, what would you like to talk about?

Cory: Well, we could talk about what we're gonna tell them when we get out of here.

Topanga: We could tell them we made out.

Cory: They'd know.

Topanga: I could mess up my hair and you could change your shirt.

Cory:You'd have to smile a lot.

Topanga: And you'd have to get that real sleepy, stupid look.

Cory: You could change your shirt, too.

Topanga: Don't push it.

Cory: How come you're being so cool about this? I don't know.

Topanga: Because you're nice.

Sister Theresa [2.10]

Cory: Last night T.K. and me talked on the phone for two hours. That beats my previous time spent on the phone with a girl by, like... two hours.

Feeny: "TK loves CM." What could that possibly mean?

Cory: It must mean that someone named TK loves... corn muffins?

Frankie: OK, everybody out in the hall. Let's go. Move it along. No talking. Single file.

Harley: Everybody but you, baboon. Frankie, you and Joey watch the door.

Cory: What's going on?

Harley: I am extremely distraught.

Cory: Do you happen to know why?

Harley: Yes. Someone has stolen the sweet, angelic smile from the face of my sister Theresa.

Cory: Your sister? You mean, T.K. is

Harley: Theresa Keiner. And nobody breaks the heart of Harley Keiner's sweet baby sister.

Cory: Look, Harley, I swear, I had no idea she was your sister.

Harley: You do realize you'd be dead already, except that Theresa says you're a gentleman. Lucky for you and your kneecaps, I deem this a very rare and desirable quality. Therefore, I am willing to let you take Theresa to the movies tonight as planned.

Cory: You know, we really don't have to go out.

Harley: No, you really do.

Cory: Ok

Harley: This will be a nice date, a polite date. You will be a perfect gentleman, 'cause otherwise, baboon, your next and final date is with Frankie.

Frankie: And don't expect flowers.

T.K.: Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home.

Alan: Oh, well thank you for the lobsters!

T.K.: You're welcome, I'm sure. [to Cory] How's the new me coming across, fuzzy?

Cory: You're doing great!

[Eric picks up a lobster]

Eric: Uh-oh! This guy's missing a claw.

[T.K. stands up.]

T.K.: That is it! I told them these were important people! This is a very big dinner for me! What do they do? They send me damaged goods!

[She takes the lobster and throws it across the room. She sits back down and notices everyone staring at her]

T.K.: Mr. Matthews, Mrs. Matthews, thank you oh so very much for having me for dinner in your lovely home.

The Beard [2.11]

Cory: [after being asked to give Shawn a note for the second time] Do I have an unlisted desk or something?

Cory: I miss Linda already.

Shawn: I miss Stacy. And Linda.

Cory: And Debbie?

Shawn: And Debbie.

Cory: There is no Debbie!

Shawn: Then how come I miss her so much?

Cory: Because you're nuts.

Turnaround [2.12]

Topanga: [talking about the dance] Well, I'm not going.

Cory: My only hope!... I mean, why?

Topanga: It's a protest. The concept of a turnaround dance is that all the other times only the boys get to ask. That is gender-biased thinking and we have to get beyond that... Besides, that weekend my daddy's taking me to New York for Christmas shopping!

Cory: What? Just because she's the coolest girl in our grade, you don't think she'd ask me?

Shawn: If a bomb dropped on the school and every other guy was killed expect you... she'd go with the most popular dead guy.

Shawn:[After Ingrid's makeover] Whoa, she looks just like Becky!

Becky: I am Becky.

[about to take a picture for the yearbook]

Eric: Dumped.

Cory: Dumped.

Shawn: Cheese.

Cory: Shawn! Come on, positioning. How do you expect to be asked out with your head in your locker?

Becky: [while Shawn's head is still in the locker] Shawn, would you go to the Turnaround dance with me?

Cory: Eric I don't want to hurt Ingrid she a nice girl But enough about her, get me out of this date.

Eric: Look, you heard what Dad said.

Cory: Oh, please, he's old. He's out of touch. I mean, the last girl he dated was Mom.

Eric: No, no, no, no Cor, Cor, Cor You have to go with Ingrid. You bail on this girl, it's all over for you.

Cory: Why? It's one girl, one date.

Eric: No, no, no You dump one girl, they're all gonna know and they're all gonna hate you. Remember, women are in constant communication with each other.

Cory: What are you talking about?

Eric: (Morgan walks in) Say Cor, did you enjoy the vegetarian chili mom made last night as much as I did? You know, sometimes I think we take our great mom for granted.

Cory: Eric, could we please stick to my problem for a second here?

Eric: Yes, your problem. Your problem is the international women's network. Look, you blow off this girl, everybody online's gonna know about it in the morning.

Cory: Oh, I don't believe that.

Eric: Well, you could be right, then again

Amy: [walks in] I didn't know you liked my chili. What can I get my wonderful boys for dinner tomorrow night?

Eric: And bad news, it travels even faster.

Cyrano [2.13]

Harley: Didn't I tell Frankie to dispose of you guys?

Cory: Yes, and he did. He killed us big time.

Shawn: And now we're the angels of ourselves.

Cory: And it's time for us to float away. Come on, Shawn, float.

Harley: Either of you angels seen my girl?.

Cory: You mean Gloria? No, we haven't seen her.

Shawn: There's no way we could've seen her. We were in a locker the whole time.

Harley: The whole time what, boys?.

Cory: Come on, Shawn! FLOAT! FLOAT!

I Am Not a Crook [2.14]

Feeny: Jonathan, all I'm hearing from your little election are ridiculous promises and character assassination.

Turner: Too much like the real thing, George?

Eric: So how's the campaign?

Cory: Well, we're taking it in a new direction.

Eric: And that would be... down?

Cory: Shawn, you're squealing.

Shawn: Well that's what someone does when their best friend takes a gun and stabs them in the back right in front of their eyes!

Breaking Up is Really, Really Hard to Do [2.15]

Shawn: You think too much. Do what I do: don't think.

Mr. Turner: (reading Shawn's poem)

"My uncle Ralph, he does not care,

'Cause twice a month, he gets welfare.

My uncle Chuck has nylon hair,

He bought the rug with his welfare."

[skimming ahead] "Old Corvair... long nose hair... electric chair..." It's a very colorful family you have there, Shawn.

Shawn: I didn't use their real names. That's ok right?

Mr. Turner: Oh, yeah. The less I know, the better.

Eric: [looking in a textbook] Oh, and who is this raven-haired beauty?

Jason: That's Leonardo da Vinci. Stop that, you're scaring me!

Wendy: Is it okay if I go tell all of my friends?

Cory: Sure and I'll tell all of mine...SHAWN!

Eric: Look at me, I'm alone. [Looking down]

Alan: [Looking at his test results] And you will be until your grades come up. Now until I see some letters here closer to the front of the alphabet... you're not going on any more dates.

Eric: [Looking sad] Mom, Mommy.

Amy: Aww, Alan, how can you be so cruel to my sweet little baby?

Alan: Well, it was your idea. Eric you can't rely on your looks to get you through life.

Eric: But all I want to be is a weatherman.

[In a flashforward where Cory and Shawn are old men]

Shawn: How long you been married?

Cory: ...Who?

Shawn: ...What?

Cory: ...They want you to take the rolls

[Eric is banging his head on a locker.]

Jason: Locker Head Man! I heard your signal and came as quickly as I could!

I

Eric: A haircut?? This is your girl substitute? So If i was straving you'd buy me pants?

Shawn: (to Cory after making out with a girl at Chubbie's) Remember in health class, that section on the movement of blood? I understand it now.

Cory: I'm on an emotional roller coaster.

(discussing Wendy)

Amy: She's just a little girl playing house.

Alan: Amy, sweetheart, she's a little blond loon!

Alan (conversationally): Hey guys, where ya been?

Eric: Hey, I can get a haircut, as many as I want!

Cory: So after she made us dessert and read to us I walked her home and right there on the porch I laid out. I said "Wendy, it's over. Forever."

Shawn: How'd she react?

Cory: Well, she invited me in for oatmeal cookies, Grandma Jansen played the organ and we all sang Big Rock-Candy Mountain.

Shawn: Nice knowing ya.

Cory: You know, they have four generations living in the same house. The men don't say much.

Danger Boy [2.16]

Eric: You're gonna love Cory. You wouldn't believe how mature he is.

Cory: Hey guys, look at me! I'm a fountain! [blows water out of his mouth] I've gotta show Shawn! [runs upstairs] Shawn!

Eric: I'll talk to Cory. He won't do the fountain. He won't blow milk bubbles out of his nose. He won't even do Armpit Theater.

[Cory has just ridden the roller coaster.]

Cory: Piece of cake...

Eric: What?

Cory: I threw up a piece of cake.

On the Air [2.17]

Cory: I have a radio voice!

Shawn: And I have a radio face!

Shawn: He says one thing and then he does another. He's being a hypochondriac.

By Hook or By Crook [2.18]

Eric: I cheated, Mr. Feeny. I had the answers written on my hand.

Feeny: And you only managed an A-minus?

Eric: I sneezed off a couple of the answers.

Turner: [about Uncle Mike fixing his bike] Listen, you know this doesn't mean I'm gonna give the kid a break on grades or anything.

Uncle Mike: Like he needs it! Shawnie's the scholar of the family!

Mr. Turner: I think you're tellin' me the truth.

Wrong Side of the Tracks [2.19]

Turner: [about a biography assignment] Doesn't have to be somebody famous, just somebody real. Anybody you like.

Cory: Anybody?

Turner: Anybody.

Cory: Absolutely anybody?

Turner: Absolutely anybody.

Cory: I pick Shawn!

Shawn: I pick Cory!

Topanga: You know, you walked right into that.

Turner: I did, didn't I?

Eric: Jason, I don't skate. At all.

Jason: Well, hey. C'mon, Canadians skate. How hard could it be?

Cory: Well, I know who you are! You're Shawn Hunter! You were raised by wolves - you're MY friend. It says so in your biography. I mean, what else do you need to know?

Turner: If you don't think deep down inside that you're all right, then I haven't taught you anything.

Pop Quiz [2.20]

Feeny: [of Cory and Shawn] I'd give up on them, but I don't think they'd notice.

Shawn: My book is due back and I have to rewind it.

The Thrilla' in Phila [2.21]

Feeny: Set him down now.

Vader: Feeny, you can't tell me what to do any more. I'm not one of your punk students. I'm the Face of Death!

Feeny: You were scarier when you had acne.

Topanga: Cory, you've never told me your quote for the yearbook.

Cory: What did you put?

Topanga: "I do my thing and you do your thing; you are you and I am I; but if in the end we end up together, it's beautiful."

Cory: Put the same for me.

Career Day [2.22]

Eric: It's like I'm in S.A.T. Zone. All my other senses are completely shut down. [knocks soup into lap]

Jason: Eric?

Eric: Wha?

Jason: You just spilled soup on your lap.

Eric: What? [Jason nods. Eric looks down.] Ahhh! Hot! Hot!

Cory: Shawn, what does your dad do?

Shawn: Shh. I'm trying to find out!

[Kid is eating melon]

Kid: Hey, Cory, I'm eating your dad's friend!

Home [2.23]

Eric: Hey, Hunter, what do you think you're doing?

Shawn: Uh... cleaning out my ears.

Eric: Yeah, with Towelie? My lucky towel? What are you, insane?

Shawn: One of us is.

Turner: What do you know about women?

Shawn: What do you wanna know?

Turner: Oh, you think you can help me out, Hunter?

Shawn: Hey, you helped me.

Turner: Now, see: why can't you be this sharp in my class?

Shawn: Math's not my best subject.

Turner: I'm your English teacher.

Shawn: Then why you teaching math?

Turner: Are you kidding me?

Shawn: (after Eric falls in the bathroom) I Think he just found Slippy, his lucky soap.