Boy Meets World (season 6)

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Boy Meets World (1993–2000) was a television sitcom in which Cory Matthews (Ben Savage) experiences all the twists and turns of life along with his teacher, Mr. Feeny (William Daniels); his brother, Eric (Will Friedle); his best friend, Shawn (Rider Strong); and his girlfriend, Topanga (Danielle Fishel).

His Answer - Part I [6.1][edit]

Rachel: We're gonna be just like girlfriends! [leaves the room]
Jack: Girlfriends...
Eric: Just a minute! If I understand this correctly, girlfriends sleep together, bathe together and even get to see each other naked.
Jack: We already do that.
[Eric makes a hushing gesture]

Feeny: You can't tell Cory and Topanga what to do. I've been trying to do that since the first grade. I remember when I tried to separate their desks. She kicked me. He bit me. And some little punk kept saying, "Leave 'em alone! They should get married!"
Shawn: I was cute then, huh?
Feeny: [sarcastically] Precious.

Her Answer - Part II [6.2][edit]

Topanga: I want my family to be at my wedding. I want your family to be there. Cory, I wanna wear a wedding dress! A white, lacy wedding dress!
Cory: Of course, white. The way we're going, bright white. Snow white. Whiter than the white-hot light of a thousand burning suns!
Topanga: How long are you gonna be mad at me?
Cory: Ten minutes.

Eric: Yeah, go ahead, Feeny, retire. Take care of yourself. It's what you're best at.
Amy: The man has given the last forty years of his life teaching people.
Eric: Don't care. Kill his flowers. Kill 'em.

Ain't College Great? [6.3][edit]

Shawn: Wow.
Cory: What?
Shawn: You brought pudding to college!
Cory: Hey, I got one for you.

Eric: The world is a melancholy place where... human relationships must rise to the forefront of our too-brief experience on this insignificant swirling blue orb until we are extinguished... like a flickering flame. [touches candle] Oww, dat hot.

Friendly Persuasion [6.4][edit]

Eric: I have closed that chapter of my life and I have opened up a new one. And do you know what I call that chapter, Jack? Chapter Five.

Eric: In conclusion... watches, chocolate, cheese. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the Swiss.
Jack: Eric, we were supposed to prove something!
Dean Bolander: He did.

Better than the Average Cory [6.5][edit]

Cory: Are you saying we don't have extraordinary gifts, Mr. Feeny?
Feeny: No, of course not, Mr. Matthews. You also have extraordinary gifts.
Cory: Like what?
Feeny: You have your health. Good for you.

Alan: My father spent 40 years with a broom in his hand. I wish he could see all that I have now. Why are you afraid of being average?
Cory: I-I-I'm not ashamed.
Alan: Touch it. Touch it. Get some dirt on your hands. Try to see what average looked like from here. To me, average was a dream. That's why my father worked his butt off, so maybe his son could have something more. And I learned from him, Cory. And I respected him because he did the best that he could. And I was proud of him. And he would have been proud of me, too. I don't know. Maybe if my son thinks average is nothing, then I've done my job. But I'm sorry that you're not proud. Of him, me and of yourself.

Alan: Morgan, there is always going to be someone better than you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Ask Alexandra. What did she do when there were better painters than her?
Alexandra: (to Amy) I'm not supposed to lie. What do I do?

Hogs and Kisses [6.6][edit]

[Shawn and Topanga are reading scripts.]
Shawn: I can't just sit here and watch your beautiful skin and silky hair and perfect face and long, long legs. [drops some pages]
Topanga: Isn't there anything you want to say about my eyes?
Shawn: [picking up script and putting the pages in order] Yes, yes. The number of eyes... on your face... That's, um. That's, that's, that's nice.

Rachel: I hate this! It's like I have to be on my best behavior. It's like I'm living with my mother.
Eric: Actually, do you have a picture of your mother? No reason.

Everybody Loves Stuart [6.7][edit]

Stuart: Shawn!
Shawn: Stuart!
Stuart: Nice haircut.
Shawn: Thanks. Eight bucks.
Stuart: Looks like it.

Stuart: Any more questions, George?
Feeny: Just one. Is it okay if I rip off your head and roll it down the hallway?

You're Married, You're Dead [6.8][edit]

Cory: I don't care what Gambling Dan thinks. Why does he call me The Major?
Shawn: It stands for Major Wuss. He says if there was a Whipped magazine, you'd be the centerfold.
Cory: Okay, first of all, there is a Whipped magazine. I didn't subscribe. Somehow they found me.

Topanga: Cory, I never asked you to wear an engagement ring. You saw mine and said, "Pretty. I want one."

Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield [6.9][edit]

Cory: I call this next poem "Feeny."
"Mr. Feeny is very smart
On many subjects, including art.
And yet he can't help me with my frustration —

Cory: [reading from Shawn's poem]
"On this brink of everything I know,
I can gain an eyeful of the lost Atlantis
in the human soul
and the breath that fills my lungs
with the air between two stars."

And In Case I Don't See Ya [6.10][edit]

Amy: This better be good.
Alan: I don't even want to hear about it. They were incredibly rude, and I'm going to punish them right now.
Cory: You can't punish us, we're in college.
Alan: Oh, yeah? How about I hit you so hard you're back in high school?

Topanga: What is this? [holds up paper]
Shawn: It's a B! Hey, we got the same grade.
Topanga: This is a travesty.
Angela: I got a B-plus.
Topanga: Who cares? How do I get the same grade as these two schlubs?

Santa's Little Helpers [6.11][edit]

Shawn: I hate being the third wheel.
Cory: Oh, please. You know, you've been the third wheel with me and Topanga so long, I think of us as a tricycle.

[Eric recruits Jack to be a mall elf.]
Eric: You're going to be making like five bucks an hour!
Jack: Wait a second, you get twelve bucks an hour?!
Eric: Hi — I'm Santa. You're just an elf. Read your Bible.

Cutting the Cord [6.12][edit]

Eric: You think that's what makes you a good father? I mean, yeah, you taught me how to swing a bat, but any Little League coach could do that. I mean, it was more important that you were there after I struck out. You made me feel better. You're always there for me, man. Just to listen to me, to give me advice. You know, to help me get through stuff. Just like you did today. You're never going to be too old to do that.

[during a karaoke contest]
Topanga: I just don't think this is the right song for us.
Cory: You wanna win or not?
Topanga: Yes, I wanna win, I just don't think you and I are the right people to express this particular sentiment!
Cory: Topanga, it's a beautiful song, and we're gonna sing it. [nods and grins] Hit it, Cap'n Randy!
[Music starts.]
Cory: [screaming and flashing his hands] WAR!!
Topanga: [monotone] Huh.
Cory: [gyrating and grimacing] What is it GOOD FOR!
Topanga: [monotone] Absolutely nothing. Say it again.
Cory: WAR!!
Topanga: Good God, you all.
Cory: This is all a big JOKE to you isn't it, Topanga?! (storms off stage)

We'll Have a Good Time Then [6.13][edit]

Chet: [to Rachel] I've been to three county fairs, two pig-stickin's and a goat rope, but I ain't never seen nothin' like you.

Shawn: What's the point of even going to class?
Cory: Because otherwise we have to go to war.

Getting Hitched [6.14][edit]

Topanga: [showing box] The Fiancée Game. It's for engaged couples.
Rachel: Oh, I was almost engaged once. We planned our whole futures together. I hope he dies.
Eric: [to Cory and Topanga] We don't actually have to be engaged to play the game, do we?
Rachel: [rambling to self] Not just dies, burns...
Eric: [to Cory and Topanga] 'Cause that'd be okay with me.
Rachel: [rambling to self] I wanna step on his face with a golf shoe...
Eric: [cheerfully] That's very hostile. Will you marry me?
Rachel: Sure, why not? We already live together.

Jack: [reading Chet's bills] "Past due"... "Final notice"... "Pay up"... "We're not kidding this time"...

Road Trip [6.15][edit]

Cory: What, are you breaking up with me in a restaurant? In a public place, so I won't make a scene? You think I won't make a scene?
Shawn: I know you'll make a scene.

Shawn: I hate to have to tell you this, but, my dad died last week.
Merle: So, who shot him?

My Baby Valentine [6.16][edit]

Eric: Eww. My mommy said, "Thighs rub together."
Amy: [to Alan] Do you still love me?
Eric: No.

Amy: You laughed at me when I tried on the orange dress.
Eric: You looked like the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

Resurrection [6.17][edit]

Shawn: [referring to Joshua] Man, are we gonna have fun with this kid!
Cory: Kid's gonna be our slave!
Shawn: Oh, I'm gonna teach him everything I know.
Cory: Then I'll bail him out of jail!
Topanga: Mr. Feeny, will you say something to them?
Cory: Hey, Mr. Feeny, I think you're gonna have another Matthews to teach!
Shawn: Yeah, maybe he'll have a kid like me to sit next to!
Cory: He won't have to.
Shawn: Why not?
Cory: You'll still be there!
Shawn: [erupts with laughter] Ouch!

Amy: [to Cory] The doctor thought it'd be a good idea if you went in to say hi to your brother, too.
Cory: Yeah, sure. But, uh... [to Shawn and Topanga] I'd like you guys to come. [Shawn nods, the three start toward the NICU. A nurse stops Shawn]
Nurse: Oh, I'm sorry, family only.
Alan: [pats Shawn's shoulder] Uh, he is family.

Can I Help to Cheer You? [6.18][edit]

Cory: You're Stan? Stan the Plumber Man?
Stan: If I can't flush it...
Cory: No one can!

Shawn: [of a million-dollar marriage offer] Take the money.
Cory: But I love Topanga.
Shawn: We all do. Take the money.

Bee True [6.19][edit]

[Cory and Shawn are trying to open a jar.]
Shawn: Hand me the rare Phoenician mallet. [Cory hands him a mace-like object] No, no, no, no. That's an early Egyptian dental tool. [Cory hands him a small, wooden hammer] Here we go [hits the jar's lid and the hammer head pops off] Phoenician piece of crap.
Cory: Shawn, you broke it. That's not part of the plan.
Shawn: I'll replace it! I see them all the time at Bed, Bath & Phoenician. [still can't open jar] Here, hand me the Byzantine statue of King Hopheratu. [Cory hands him a small, golden statue. Shawn hits it against the jar lid. It shatters] Home Shopping Channel! There are 6 billion of them left.

Cory: I hold in my hands the pinnacle of God’s creation. Think fast! [tosses a brain at Shawn; it hits his chest and falls to the floor]
Shawn: [bends down to pick it up and comes up with two brain halves] You want personality or motor skills?

The Truth about Honesty [6.20][edit]

Rachel: Eric, we really want you to come.
Eric: Well, how do you expect me to come back to a place where I had my heart ripped out of my chest and thrown around the room like it was a... a... like it... like a... nerf heart!
Rachel: [grabs his collar] I want you to forget about everything that happened between us and remember we're friends. And I want you to come to our party because it's for friends.
Eric: Will you be making tater tots?

Topanga: Okay Rachel, same question. If you could change one thing about Jack, what would it be?
Rachel: He's too passive, and he needs to voice his opinions more.
Topanga: What do you think of that, Jack?
Jack: I don't know.

Eric: Yeah, his name's Joshua.
Dana: Oh, how old is he?
Eric: I dunno, months or something.

The Psychotic Episode [6.21][edit]

Cory: You were in my dream, Feeny. And you gave me advice that sucked!
Feeny: I'm not responsible for Dream Feeny!

Adam: [talking to his stuffed parrot] Polly want a cracker?
Eric: Polly want an autopsy!

State of the Unions [6.22][edit]

Topanga: Oh, by the way, my parents are coming into town.
Cory: "Oh, by the way, my parents are coming into town"? Oh, by the way, Captain Titanic, the ship's in two pieces!!

Cory: I had a dream last night. And we got married, and moved into the Poor House! And do you know how I knew it was the Poor House? Because there was a sign that said "The Poor House"!