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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a 2023 fantasy heist action comedy film, based on the tabletop role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons, about a charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers who embark on an epic quest to retrieve a long lost relic, but their charming adventure goes dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

Directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley. Written by Goldstein, Daley and Michael Gilio.

Edgin Darvis

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  • Yes, we were thieves. But I tried to hold us to a certain standard. We never harmed anyone and we only robbed from those who would feel it the least.
  • When you're a Harper, you're bound to make enemies. Sometimes those enemies come looking for revenge.
  • We must never stop failing, because the minute we do, we've failed.
  • Oh, I've got a good feeling about Plan C. [eats a chicken leg]
  • The truth is even if this council was to sentence to another 2 years, or 20 for that matter, it wouldn't be punishable enough for the worst crime I ever committed: [refers to Kira and himself] robbing my daughter of her father. But know that if you do choose to free me, I'll spend the rest of my days tryna right that wrong.

Holga Kilgore

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  • [about Xenk] I'm glad he's on our side.
  • [after being revived] Don't tell me that you've wasted it on me. Why would you do that?

Forge Fitzwilliam

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  • [about Kira as she leaves the room] Give her time. She's had years to resent you for your absence.
  • Now I'm in a pickle, because...I don't want to see you die. Which is why...I'm gonna leave the room.
  • One could argue that my actions, reprehensible though they were, led to a virtual renaissance for the city. And while I've only served the 1st year of my sentence, I have to say it has been...eye-opening. I have taken a look inside, and I've asked myself: "What's going on in there?". And, you know, I realized...a lot of it goes back to my mum. [flashback] She was a stern woman prone to fits and-- [interrupted by Chancellor Anderton, therefore ending the flashback]

Others

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  • Simon Aumar: I'd sit too, but there's not enough room on the rock.
  • Doric: I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this for people who took me in when no one else would.
  • Xenk Yendar: Many lives were lost in defense of that helm. To speak of it would be to diminish their sacrifice.
  • Kira Davis: [about Forge] I'm sorry I believed him.
  • Sofina: You know not the scope of my power!

Dialogue

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Kira: Why can't I come?
Edgin: Sorry, Kira, this one's too dangerous.
Kira: Then--Then you shouldn't go. We have everything that we need.
Edgin: Not yet. But this is the last one. Trust me. [hugs Kira and walks off]
Holga: Chin up, bug. We'll be right back. [walks off]
Edgin: [turns around to see Holga frozen in time] She's caught in a Time Stop! Counter it, Simon!
Simon: I can't! Sofina's too powerful! [he runs off]
Edgin: [he tries to run away but slips on a golden chalice, turns to Forge] Take the tablet. Keep Kira safe. [throws the Tablet of Reawakening to Forge]
Forge: [catches the Tablet of Reawakening] You have my word. [runs off]
[Kira sadly looks at the mittens her father, Edgin, made for her, when suddenly...]
Forge: Knock-knock! I wanted to make sure you were alright. [sits next to Kira]
Kira: I knew I'd see him again one day. I just hoped it would be different.
Forge: Well, you have to understand when he lost your mother, he sorta lost himself.
Kira: Why would he lie about the tablet?
Forge: Maybe he was ashamed to admit how much he'd given up for so little.
Kira: I should probably go speak to him. [Forge gives a look] What?
Forge: Well, he's gone, my dear. He's gone. I gave him the Tablet of Riches and...he left.
Kira: [looks sad] Holga too?
Forge: I'm sorry. And I want you to know that even he isn't there for you, I always will be.
Kira: [smiles] I know.
Forge: The fact that you see good in me makes me believe that there might just be some on there.
Doric: What is it, exactly, that you bring to this?
Edgin: Me? I'm a planner. You know, I make plans.
Doric: You've already made the plan, so what value do you have now?
Edgin: If the plan fails, the existing plan, I make a new plan.
Doric: So you make plans that fail.
Edgin: No.
Holga: He also plays the lute.
Edgin: Holga, not relevant.
Szass Tam: [speaks Thayan] I sense your impatience.
Sofina: Szass Tam...?
Szass Tam: [speaks English] But you have always been the disciple I rely on most. Doff your cowl. You needn't hide your sigils from me.
Sofina: [takes her hood off as her cloak turns red] I'd rather be flensed and flayed than spend another hour with Forge Fitzwilliam.
Szass Tam: The man is insufferable. But we never would've come this far without his "charm". The living have befouled this world long enough. Take solace in knowing that your work here is nearly complete.
Edgin: [they can ask a revived corpse five questions before it dies again] Were you killed in the Battle of the Evermoors?
Revived corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Great! I mean, not for you. Sorry for your loss. [to Simon] Four more questions, right?
Revived corpse: Yes.
Edgin: No, no, no, that wasn't for you. [to Simon] Did that count as a question?
Revived corpse: Yes.
Edgin: Dammit! Only answer when I talk to you, okay?
Revived corpse: Yes.
Simon: Why did you say "okay?" at the end of that?
Revived corpse: I didn't. [lies back in its coffin, dead]
Edgin: Fantastic. Where's the shovel?
Edgin: [referring to Xenk] Keep your guard up. I don't trust this guy.
Holga: Even though he's helping us?
Edgin: Ah, he's got something up his sleeve.
Xenk: The only thing up my sleeve is my arm.
Edgin: [whispering] How could he hear that?
Xenk': I hear that as well.
Edgin: I hate you. [Xenk smirks]
[Simon puts on the Helm of Disjunction and time stops and the environment around him unravels, then out of nowhere...]
Elminster Aumar: There he is, the great Simon Aumar, sorcerer descended from wizarding blood.
Simon Aumar: Who are you?
Elminster: Don't you know me? My name is Aumar too.
Simon: You're my great-great-grandfather.
Elminster: [chuckles] That's quite the helm. What makes you think you're worthy of it?
Simon: I believe in myself?
Elminster: You're asking me?
Simon: No, I'm-I'm sure. I'm a great sorcerer.
Elminster: Are you now? Funny thing about magic: it chooses who may wield it and it does not suffer fools.
Simon: Why are you telling this?
Elminster: Oh, I think you know, Simon. [taps the helm off Simon]
Holga: How 'bout this: we use the Hither-Thither staff to get into the vault.
Simon: No, I've explained this. You can't Hither-Thither into a room you can't see.
Holga: I'm not saying that. I'm saying we put the portal on something and then sneak that thing into the vault.
Edgin: Mm, the only thing going in that vault is treasure.
Holga: So we put the portal on some treasure.
Edgin: Forge did say the richest men in Baldur's Gate and Waterdeep are bringing loot to the city. They'll be traveling the High Road. We could catch one of their convoys.
Doric: There'll be dozens of guards.
Edgin:: Yeah, but the guards will guarding against people taking things out of their wagon, not putting them in! Holga, I could kiss you!
Holga: Try it.
Forge: [laughing as he walks into the room to find Edgin wrapped in tentacles by Sofina] You'd think you'd be able to distinguish between your own daughter and a 300-year old wizard. Don't worry, Kira's safe. Unlike me, she had no idea you were coming. I don't think she knows how tenacious you've become, huh? Look, Ed, uh... [sits down] I'm really sorry for the way things turned out. But I think if you were truly honest, you'd have to admit I can give Kira a better life. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that she's with the father she deserves. Now I'm in a pickle because...I don't wanna see you die. Which is why I'm gonna leave the room. [as he's about to leave, Edgin tries to something from behind a tentacle] What? [uses a handkerchief to remove a tentacle from Edgin's mouth]
Edgin: [gasps for a breath] If you're gonna kill us, at least let us die with dignity.
Forge: How do you mean?
Edgin: Put us in the High Sun Games. Give us a fighting chance.
Forge: That's not a chance. It's not a chance at all. I mean, even if you were to somehow survive the tournament, Sofina's gonna... [Sofina glares at him] Uh... I-It would be much, much better for you to die here than go to the Games.
Sofina: No. They defeated your men and mine. Let them fight in the arena. They deserve that much.
Kira: A-A trip?
Forge: Yes. Something urgent has come up, but if we leave now, we'll be safe.
Kira: Safe from what?
Forge: [looks at unconscious guards] What is this?
Edgin: This is an ambush. On the boat you were gonna use to escape from Neverwinter.
Kira: Dad...?
Edgin: Hi, honey. [holds the Tablet of Reawakening] Hey, Forge, why don't you tell her what this is?
Forge: [shrugs] I don't know.
Edgin: It's the Tablet of Reawakening, Kira. It's the reason why I left you.
Holga: Your dad's been telling you the truth, bug. It's Uncle Forge who's been feeding you lies.
Forge: [laughs nervously] It's rubbish. It's just rubbish.
Edgin: Come with me, Kira. We'll go home, bring back Mom. We can be a family again.
[as Kira was about to board the boat, Forge grabs her by the shoulder]
Forge: You're not taking my money. [pulls out a knife and points at Kira] Put down the tablet and get off my ship. All of you. Now!
Edgin: Okay, okay, okay.
Kira: [panicked] What are you doing?!
Forge: It's alright. Shush, my darling, be quiet.
Edgin: It's going down. [puts the tablet down] Just don't hurt her.
Forge: See that, Kira? [referring to Edgin] Your father knows me. He knows I'm prepared to do terrible things to get what I want, even to those I care about most. [Holga spots a potato] In the end, that's all that separates the beggar...
[scene cuts to slow-motion, Holga throws the potato to Forge's face, causing him to let Kira go]
Holga: Nobody hurts my bug.
Sofina: For too long, I've endured the arrogance of Forge Fitzwilliam, the false charm, the quips. And just as I begin to purge this place of its living filth, you dare interpose. Now, as you die, rest assured it will not be the end, for you will forever suffer.
Edgin: Ugh! I'm sorry, your breath just smells like...old clothes. It's bad.
[Kira cuffs Sofina and reappears]
Sofina: What is this?
Simon: I countered your Time Stop. I got better.
Edgin: We had to distract you so Kira could slap on that cuff and so Doric could do this. [Doric turns into an owlbear and savagely rolls and pins Sofina] I think you got her. [as Sofina wakes up, Doric pins her again and throws her into a wall]
[at the clubhouse of the Emerald Enclave, fireworks were exploding in color, lighting up the night sky]
Simon: Szass Tam won't be happy about this.
Edgin: Well, if he comes back, we'll be ready.
Doric: "We"?
Edgin: Oh, that's right. You don't like humans, do you?
Doric: Some are okay. What about you? Going back to the Harpers? Be with your people?
Edgin: I'm with my people.
Simon: So, uh, I know my last attempt to court you was quite bad. [chuckles] But I wonder if you'd consider having another go at it.
Doric: [pause] Yeah, alright.
Simon: [excited] Yeah?
Doric: Calm down.
Simon: Right. [sighs]

Cast

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