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Futurama: Bender's Big Score

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Hasta La vista, meatbag!

Futurama: Bender's Big Score is a 2007 straight-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series. Directed by Dwayne-Carey Hill. Written by Ken Keeler, based on a story by Keeler and David X. Cohen.

Dialogue

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Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see… [hangs up phone] Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. [The crew cheers] And not just fired, but beaten up, too…and pretty badly. [The crew cheers doubtfully] In fact, most of them died from their injuries. [The crew remains silent. Bender laughs] And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
Fry: Why?
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses. [Pours some down his pants] Ah, that soothes the fire.
Hermes: What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine?
Bender: Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.
[Fry has just reappeared in the 31st Century, after Bender apparently killed him in 2012.]
Bender: Fry! You're not dead! Unless...
[Bender punches Fry in the stomach.]
Bender: No, he's not a zombie. But I don't want people to think I'm incompetent, so I'd better kill you just to be sure.
[Bender pulls out a croquet mallet, and prepares to swing it at Fry. The Professor pulls it out of his hands.]
Professor Farnsworth: Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
[Nudar is threatening Scruffy with a gun.]
Nudar: [to Bender] You! Read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
Bender: Hang on, Scruffy!
Leela: What is the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?
Fry: It was bound to be somewhere.
Nibbler: Alas, our Kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed, doomed!
Fry: Can I pull up my pants now?
Nibbler: Doomed!
[Bender shows up with the incomplete Mona Lisa from the past.]
Bender: Sorry, it's not quite finished.
Schlump: Da Vinci give you any trouble?
Bender: Let's just say he might not make it to The Last Supper.
Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible!
Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that; plus, who are you anyway?
[Hermes has discovered that his head was attached backwards.]
Hermes: You incompetent crab!
Dr. Zoidberg: I thought you were happy, your tail was wagging.
Amy: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender: I don't blame myself, I blame all of you!
Amy: Us? How can you possibly blame us!?
Bender: It ain't easy, it just proves how great I am.
Bender: [shivering] It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency.
Leela: What are you, a whining machine?
Fry: I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me?
Leela: Well, for one thing his checkbook doesn't have The Hulk on it.
Leela: I can't command this many ships.
Hermes: Perhaps I can help. Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battlegrid?
Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the Professor!
Hermes: Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action!
Fry: It's foolproof! They can't sign the marriage license if I give them a pen with NO INK!
Bender: [sarcastic] Yeah, 'cause once they try to sign the license, all hell'll break loose. [Bender turns away and mutters] Oy vey.
[The scammers are threatening the planet express crew with Professor Farnsworth's Sphero-Boom]
Nudar: So what'll it be, unconditional surrender -
Leela: Never!
Nudar: - Or total destruction?
Leela: Also never!
Nudar: You have thirty seconds - make up your minds!
Leela: NEVER!
[Leela is shouting orders during the battle to reclaim Earth]
Leela: Unit 10 - Target H, 16K - niner, niner! Go left - I mean right!
Sal: Whoas!
Leela: 55U, 8R, 2P!
Professor Farnsworth: [Speaking to Hattie McDoogal] BINGO!
[Nibbler attempts to stop the scammers from using the time code.]
Nibbler: Stop, you fool!
Leela: Nibbler, you can talk?!
Nibbler: I can do more than talk; I can pontificate!
Lars: Hello, everyone who isn't Leela! And a special hello to everyone else!
Hermes: Shut your lockers and get to class!
Fry: Can you save Hermes "Doctor Good and Sexy?"
Dr. Cahill: I told you my name is Doctor Cahill.
Hermes: Figures I had to get mingled while the blonde bimbo is on duty.
Dr. Cahill: I am a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I am blonde and have a breathy voice, full, sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo.
Dr. Zoidberg: Tell me about it.
Hermes: I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes while my head's slowly dying because I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!
Dr. Cahill: Oh. Right. Ditzy Witzy!
[Professor Farnsworth is considering selling some of his doomsday devices to Hedonismbot]
Professor Farnsworth: Ooh, be careful!
Hedonismbot: I shan't touch them 'till I've had Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ooh, what does this one do? [Hedonismbot grabs one of the doomsday devices]
Professor Farnsworth: Uh, that one kills everything everywhere.
Hedonismbot: Delightful! [Hedonismbot accidentally knocks the device from the shelf.] And this one?
Professor Farnsworth: Sir, the Sphero-Boom is not for sale, it's my sentimental favorite.
Hedonismbot: No need to explain, I too have known unconventional love.
Marine Biologist: Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time...
[Fry is recounting how he survived his trip to the past.]
Fry: Oh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began went I went back in time.
Professor Farnsworth: Duh!
[Nudar is ordering Bender to kill Fry]
Nudar: You know what to do.
Bender: You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator?
Nudar: Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.
[Nudar is telling Bender how to steal the Sphero-Boom from the professor.]
Nudar: You'll need jeweller's tools and foot cup silencers.
Bender: Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!
Nudar: Hey, that's perfect! We sit back and let Dumb-Dumb here do the stealing!
Bender: Dumb-Dumb away!
Professor Farnsworth: If Hermes were here, he’d fire you all!
Hermes’ head: I am here!
Professor Farnsworth: Quiet you. In his absence, I’m calling a mandatory company security seminar. To the mandatorium!
Nudar: Faster, faster!
Professor Farnsworth: I’m sciencing as fast as I can
Lars: I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot!
Nudar: [pointing his gun at Leela] Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love?
Leela: Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me!
Lars: [crying] I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code.
Fry: Ah, my hair!
Lars: Ah, my larynx!
Bender: [last lines] Well, I should have known, we're boned!

See also

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Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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