Futurama: Bender's Big Score

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Bender's Big Score is a 2007 straight-to-DVD animated film based on the Futurama series. Directed by Dwayne-Carey Hill. Written by Ken Keeler, based on a story by Keeler and David X. Cohen.


  • I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
  • Sweet photons. I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth!
  • Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters, plus the Colonel's Secret Recipe: Chicken, Grease, Salt!
  • 001100010010011110100001101101110011
  • Hasta la vista, Meatbag!
  • Must obey orders. Ohhhhh. Mustn't kill friend!! Ohhhhhh! Badly want to urinate!!!!!
  • [monotone] Entering auto destruct sequence. [normal] Awww crap, I hate auto destruct sequence! [monotone] Explosion in 7, 6,-- [Fry's duplicate kicks Bender's duplicate who stumbles back into a cryotube, Fry turns the control to one million years]
  • [monotone] 5-- [normal] Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things! [Gets frozen]
  • Fry old buddy, it's me, Bender! [blows up Fry's apartment]
  • While I was hacking off the Professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, I had time to think. Who could use a doomsday device more, the scammers, or me, Bender? After several minutes of steady sawing, I had the answer. Me, Bender!
  • Hey ! I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do.
  • [monotone]--4, 3, 2, [normal voice] 1, BOOM! [Nothing happens. Bender laughs] Woah! [he explodes, killing Nudar and Lars]
  • Well, we're boned!


  • [sarcastically] Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.
  • But she needs what'll make her happy, not what'll make me happy.


  • Without my body I'm a nobody.
  • Kiss my front butt!


  • [Considering what to wear on her date with Lars] Ooh, I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter!


  • Sir, you're just a little enraged because you're dying. Up and away!
  • Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years!

Professor Farnsworth[edit]

  • I'm sciencing as fast as I can!
  • I can wire anything directly into anything - I'm The Professor!
  • In his (Hermes') absence I am calling a mandatory company meeting. To the mandatorium!


  • Everyone out of the universe! Quick!
  • There, I saved the space-time continuum and 40% of your rectum.

Dr. Zoidberg[edit]

  • I'm a surgeon; when I see two body parts I sew them together and see what happens!


  • Barbados Slim: You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim. Now goodbye forever.
  • Zapp Brannigan: We fight this battle not for ourselves, but for our children, and our children's children, which is why I'm forming a children's brigade.
  • Al Gore: [in the year 2012] That hundred dollars could have gotten me...one gallon of gas. [ominous music]
  • Al Gore: Finally! I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers instead of deadly slide shows.


Professor Farnsworth: Yes? I see… [hangs up phone] Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. [The crew cheers] And not just fired, but beaten up, too…and pretty badly. [The crew cheers doubtfully] In fact, most of them died from their injuries. [The crew remains silent. Bender laughs] And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder.
Fry: Why?
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, it's got a million and one uses. [Pours some down his pants] Ah, that soothes the fire.

Hermes: What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine?
Bender: Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.

[Fry has just reappeared in the 31st Century, after Bender apparently killed him in 2012.]
Bender: Fry! You're not dead! Unless...
[Bender punches Fry in the stomach.]
Bender: No, he's not a zombie. But I don't want people to think I'm incompetent, so I'd better kill you just to be sure.
[Bender pulls out a croquet mallet, and prepares to swing it at Fry. The Professor pulls it out of his hands.]
Professor Farnsworth: Bender! Stop killing for a minute!

[Nudar is threatening Scruffy with a gun.]
Nudar: [to Bender] You! Read the code or I'll shoot this guy!
Bender: Who the hell is he?
Scruffy: I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
Bender: Hang on, Scruffy!

Leela: What is the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?
Fry: It was bound to be somewhere.

Nibbler: Alas, our Kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. The universe is doomed, doomed!
Fry: Can I pull up my pants now?
Nibbler: Doomed!

[Bender shows up with the incomplete Mona Lisa from the past.]
Bender: Sorry, it's not quite finished.
Schlump: Da Vinci give you any trouble?
Bender: Let's just say he might not make it to The Last Supper.

Professor Farnsworth: Time travel is impossible!
Fry: But Professor, you time traveled yourself remember? When we went back to Roswell?
Professor Farnsworth: That proves nothing! And furthermore, you'd think I could remember a thing like that; plus, who are you anyway?

[Hermes has discovered that his head was attached backwards.]
Hermes: You incompetent crab!
Dr. Zoidberg: I thought you were happy, your tail was wagging.

Amy: Ahh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
Bender: I don't blame myself, I blame all of you!
Amy: Us? How can you possibly blame us!?
Bender: It ain't easy, it just proves how great I am.

Bender: [shivering] It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency.
Leela: What are you, a whining machine?

Fry: I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me?
Leela: Well, for one thing his checkbook doesn't have The Hulk on it.

Leela: I can't command this many ships.
Hermes: Perhaps I can help. Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battlegrid?
Professor Farnsworth: I can wire anything directly into anything. I'm the Professor!
Hermes: Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action!

Fry: It's foolproof! They can't sign the marriage license if I give them a pen with NO INK!
Bender: [sarcastic] Yeah, 'cause once they try to sign the license, all hell'll break loose. [Bender turns away and mutters] Oy vey.

[The scammers are threatening the planet express crew with Professor Farnsworth's Sphero-Boom]
Nudar: So what'll it be, unconditional surrender -
Leela: Never!
Nudar: - Or total destruction?
Leela: Also never!
Nudar: You have thirty seconds - make up your minds!
Leela: NEVER!

[Leela is shouting orders during the battle to reclaim Earth]
Leela: Unit 10 - Target H, 16K - niner, niner! Go left - I mean right!
Sal: Whoas!
Leela: 55U, 8R, 2P!
Professor Farnsworth: [Speaking to Hattie McDoogal] BINGO!

[Nibbler attempts to stop the scammers from using the time code.]
Nibbler: Stop, you fool!
Leela: Nibbler, you can talk?!
Nibbler: I can do more than talk; I can pontificate!

Lars: Hello, everyone who isn't Leela! And a special hello to everyone else!
Hermes: Shut your lockers and get to class!

Fry: Can you save Hermes "Doctor Good and Sexy?"
Dr. Cahill: I told you my name is Doctor Cahill.
Hermes: Figures I had to get mingled while the blonde bimbo is on duty.
Dr. Cahill: I am a doctor, sir. The mere fact that I am blonde and have a breathy voice, full, sensual lips, and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo.
Dr. Zoidberg: Tell me about it.
Hermes: I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes while my head's slowly dying because I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!
Dr. Cahill: Oh. Right. Ditzy Witzy!

[Professor Farnsworth is considering selling some of his doomsday devices to Hedonismbot]
Professor Farnsworth: Ooh, be careful!
Hedonismbot: I shan't touch them 'till I've had Djambi lock the absinthe and ether away. Ooh, what does this one do? [Hedonismbot grabs one of the doomsday devices]
Professor Farnsworth: Uh, that one kills everything everywhere.
Hedonismbot: Delightful! [Hedonismbot accidentally knocks the device from the shelf.] And this one?
Professor Farnsworth: Sir, the Sphero-Boom is not for sale, it's my sentimental favorite.
Hedonismbot: No need to explain, I too have known unconventional love.

Marine Biologist: Leelu is a rare toothed female narwhal who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, as we all do from time to time...

[Fry is recounting how he survived his trip to the past.]
Fry: Oh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. It all began went I went back in time.
Professor Farnsworth: Duh!

[Nudar is ordering Bender to kill Fry]
Nudar: You know what to do.
Bender: You want me to concludify him, like some sort of dispatcherator?
Nudar: Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.

[Nudar is telling Bender how to steal the Sphero-Boom from the professor.]
Nudar: You'll need jeweller's tools and foot cup silencers.
Bender: Hey, I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!

Nudar: Hey, that's perfect! We sit back and let Dumb-Dumb here do the stealing!
Bender: Dumb-Dumb away!

Professor Farnsworth: If Hermes were here, he’d fire you all!
Hermes’ head: I am here!
Professor Farnsworth: Quiet you. In his absence, I’m calling a mandatory company security seminar. To the mandatorium!

Nudar: Faster, faster!
Professor Farnsworth: I’m sciencing as fast as I can

Lars: I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun! Go ahead and shoot!
Nudar: [pointing his gun at Leela] Oh, yeah? Then what if I kill the woman you love?
Leela: Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me!
Lars: [crying] I've... always loved you. Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code.

See also[edit]

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