Hey Arnold! (season 2)

Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 | Main | Films: Hey Arnold!: The Movie / Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie

Hey Arnold! is an American animated television series that aired on Nickelodeon. The show centers on a fourth grader named Arnold, who lives with his grandparents in an inner-city tenement in Hillwood, Washington.

Save the Tree/New Teacher [2.01]

Sid: We threw away everything but the kitchen sink! gets the kitchen sink Okay, here goes!

Nick Vermicelli: This time I'll be a 50% partner.

Big Bob Pataki: 20.

Nick Vermicelli: 40.

Big Bob Pataki: 20.

Nick Vermicelli: 30.

Big Bob Pataki: 20.

Nick Vermicelli: Deal.

Arnold: If I hit the lever, maybe I can stop it. [Cup misses lever]

Helga: [Mimicking Arnold] If I can hit the lever, maybe I can stop it.

Arnold: [Thinking] I hope they stop in time.

Helga: [Thinking] Boy, he smells good.

Stinky: Wilikers! It's Big Bob!

Sid: And... and... some other guy!

Arnold: Wait a minute. Mr. Pataki, don't do that! Come back! Mr. Pataki!

Mr. Simmons: Well, that's one way to respond by not responding. Silence: often speaks volumes.

Principal Wartz: It's like music to my ears.

Stinky: Why are your pants ironed so nicely?

Gerald: Why don't you teach us anything?

Curly: Why do fools fall in love?

Helga's Love Potion/Gerald's Secret [2.02]

The Big Scoop/Harold's Kitty [2.03]

Harold: Don't shoot! I'm just a kid with a cat!

Longest Monday/Eugene's Pet [2.04]

Stinky: [hides into a trash can] Talk about ironic.

[the boys board the local bus]

Gerald: Not a fifth-grader in sight.

Arnold [spots some 5th graders in the back of the bus and points out] Um, Gerald?

Gerald: [disappointed] Except for those guys.

[Arnold and Eugene enter the boy's restroom while Eugene carries Henry's goldfish bowl with Henry's deceased body floating on top of the water]

Arnold: You've gotta do it, Eugene, it's time.

Eugene: [depressingly] Goodbye, Henry.

[Eugene is about to flush Henry's deceased body down the toilet, but he refuses to do it]

Eugene: [tearfully] Oh, I can't do it, Arnold, [he sobs a bit] I've had Henry ever since he was a little baby goldfish.

Arnold: I'll flush it for you, here.

Eugene: Wait!

Monkey Business/Big Caesar [2.05]

Helga: [in another moment of dramatic lovesickness] Arnold, my love, though I shun you in public, berating you, and insulting you, tis only to hide my true feelings of love and adoration [sighs] oh when will I find the strength to express my strange, but nearly uncontrollable affections for you? Hopefully not today or tomorrow because it would be embrassing and humiliating, but perhaps someday in the distant future...yes someday. [punches an upside down Brainy's face sticking out of a treehole]

Helga: [About the monkey] Doesn't it do anything else?

[Later, in Helga's dream where she's the monkey]

Lady Observer: Can't she do anything else?!

Helga: I think you're... okay. I mean, you're a real okay, guy, and I think you're okay.

Arnold: [Smiles and pats her on the arm] Thanks, Helga, you're okay, too. [leaves]

Helga: He thinks I'm okay and he touched me! [scene changes to outside] And I'm not a monkey!

Helga: [As a monkey] Arnold, I love you, but I never had the guts to tell you.

Arnold: But you're not Helga, you're a monkey, a monkey girl.

Grandpa Phil: There comes a time in every youngster's life when he's ready to take on Big Caesar! And you boys... well, you're not ready yet, but I'm tired of waitin'.

Gerald: [about the last boat available for a fishing contest] There is no way we're fishing in a swan boat. [next frame] I can't believe we're fishing in a swan boat.

Ransom/Ms. Perfect [2.06]

Curly: Yeah, I like Licorice, so what? Kidnapping is not my game — too messy!

Gerald: Then where were you, handsome?

Curly: Alright I'll tell ya but you have to keep it under your hat, see.

Arnold: We'll see about that.

Gerald: I don't think you're in the position to give orders.

Curly: I was at a ballet lesson Madame Bovary's school for boys.

Gerald: Ballet lessons? Oh, come on.

Curly: [dancing] Plié, jeté. See, I ain't joking.

Gerald: Hey, he's pretty good.

Arnold: All right, he checks out.

Harold: [to Arnold and Gerald] You call me Slim one more time, I'll knock your teeth off!

[Lila has just answered a question in class]

Phoebe: But...but I knew that!

Lila: Don't worry, Daddy, we still have that can of beans in the fridge.

Mr. Sawyer: [dramatically] No, we don't, I ate them for lunch! [cries]

Helga: [about Lila] Well, everything's back to normal.

Rhonda: She's Little Miss Perfect again.

Phoebe: She's funny and smart, and pretty and popular.

Helga: And you know what the worst part is? I like her.

Rhonda and Phoebe: Yeah, me too.

Arnold's Halloween [2.07]

Curly: I wanted to go as pirates.

Harold: No, Vikings.

Phoebe: How about clowns?

Helga: We're all going as aliens because the whole purpose of Halloween is to scare people and make them give you candy.

Gerald: Aliens are coming to destroy the Earth!

Grandpa: [explaining about the kids in alien costumes] The news is all over town. The city is in panic.

Gerald: Uh oh.

Arnold: The news station must have picked up our broadcast. Grandpa, what happened to the kids after you saw them?

[the kids are being chased by an angry mob]

Helga: Arn-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld!

Arnold: [Halfway across town] Did you hear something just now?

Gerald: No.

Arnold Saves Sid/Hookey [2.08]

Grandpa Phil: You already had three helpings. [hits Oskar's hand]

Oskar: Oww, you hurt my hand. I'm going to sue you!

Oskar: Eh. Heheheheh! Look! It's Buddy Love! And he's going coconuts!

Freeze Frame/Phoebe Cheats [2.09]

Mr. Simmons: [Reading Phoebe's poem in front of the class] I hear your name, like a bell, ringing, ringing, in my heart.

Principal Wartz: [Talking to Phoebe as he leaves] We're proud of our multicultural students here at P.S. 118. [Stops in the doorway and looks back] Where do you come from, Phoebe?

Phoebe: [flatly] Kentucky, sir.

Mudbowl/Gerald Moves Out [2.10]

Wolfgang: We'll meet you tomorrow... on the gridiron. Leaves

Edmund: [off-screen] What's a gridiron?

Wolfgang: [off-screen, whispers] Shut up...

Gerald: We're going to beat them?

Arnold: Sorry, I got carried away.

Helga: Nice going head boy, now we're all going to get carried away, On stretchers! They're fifth graders! They older, bigger, more brutal.

Arnold: Size isn't everything Helga, maybe we're smarter.

Helga: Smarter, being smarter doesn't have to do with anything with football.

Helga: 97 [kids groan while doing push-ups] 98 [kids groan while doing push-ups] 99! Come on! Get up! Walk it off. Let's go! We're going to practice everyday until I start seeing some improvement. And let's start thinking positively, think like winners, you bunch of losers. [Harold vomits] Any questions?

Harold: Ahh, I just throw up my protein drink! [vomits again]

[Upset over washing Gerald's clothes]

Mr Hyunh: This lint is your lint. [in high pitch voice] I'm not your Mother!

Gerald: Okay, I’m sorry. [Gerald leaves the room]

Mr. Hyunh: I am not his mother!

The High Life/Best Friends [2.11]

Gerald: What am I gonna do now, Smart Guy? AW! [sobs]

Arnold: I'm telling you, Rhonda, I really don't know anything about fashion.

Rhonda : [reading fashion magazine] Hmmm. Okay, tell me this: do red and orange go together?

Arnold : Uhhh...

Rhonda: Of course not. You know that, and I know that. But try to tell that to Nadine — she doesn't listen.

Nadine: [to Rhonda] Then, we're not friends anymore!

Arnold: [on the phone to Nadine] Hang on, I've got another call.

[Takes other call, it's from Rhonda]

Rhonda: I knew it. You're talking to her, aren't you, Arnold? What is she saying about me? I kept hearing this little click and I knew you were on the other line, to her, talking behind my back. Nadine was always jealous. She's jealous, isn't she, Arnold?

Steely Phil/Quantity Time [2.12]

Bob: [thinking] Now I'm stuck with the girl. How in the heck am I gonna survive this week?

Helga: [thinking] Now I'm stuck with Big Bob. How in the heck am I gonna survive this week? [out loud] I'm going out.

Bob: Where are you going? When will you be back? Be careful crossing streets? [Walks back in, satisfied] I can take a week alone with her.

Helga: You don't know anything about me!

Bob: You're a kid, what's there to know?

Big Bob: [Thinking]Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.

Helga: [Thinking]Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.

Eating Contest/Rhonda's Glasses [2.13]

Harold: I love this contest! I love eating! Wait, I think I ate too fast. Oh, oh, my belly hurts. AAH! Mommy! Please, somebody help!

Helga: What did your grandmother stuff these with, Football Head? socks?

Brooke: Rhonda, just accept it. You can't have contacts yet.

Rhonda: But, Mom?

Brooke: But we can't both be upset at the same time! Hello, this is Brooke calling for Buckley, it's a family emergency. They're crooked, why are all these frames crooked? every single 1?

Rhonda: Mother, what if my ears are crooked?

Brooke: Oh, bite your tongue, you wretched girl, Buckley dear, we got some truly dreadful news today, I'm still really, our perfect little Rhonda needs glasses. Take them off, Rhonda, you're upsetting me.

Rhonda: I wanna talk to Daddy. [in tears] I hate my life, Daddy, why does everything happen to me? I'm so unlucky!

Rhonda: If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

Helga's Boyfriend/Crush on Teacher [2.14]

Stinky: I'll die!

Arnold: You won't die, Stinky.

Stinky: No, I will, I'll die! Lay down and die like an old dog.

Gerald: Why are you reading this junk? [teases] Oh, right, you have a crush on Miss Felter...

Arnold: I like poetry, it has nothing to do with her.

Gerald: Right. Later, man.

[Gerald walks away]

Arnold: Oh soft, what light from yonder window breaks? It is the east... [Gerald pauses] ... and... Miss Felter is the sun.

Gerald: [In disgust] That's it, now I'm pukin'.

Gerald: You set a beautiful table, my fair señÑorita. [purrs]

Arnold: Do I have to purr?

Gerald: Yes, chicks dig the purr!

Arnold: [To Miss Felter after Gerald's voice is heard through the walkie talkie that is in Arnold's pants] Sometimes my pants... they talk.

Arnold: You set a beautiful table, my fair señorita.

Miss Felter: Muchas gracias.

Arnold: Aw, enchilada.

Hall Monitor/Harold's Bar Mitzvah [2.15]

[Phoebe has just been shoved into a locker when other kids ran past her, in spite of just being made hall monitor.]

Helga: Phoebe, are you OK? Phoebe! Say something!

Phoebe: I quit.

Phoebe: I don't really want to be this bossy scary selfish emotionally challenged person, who has to order people around just to get respect!

Helga: [Oblivious] Who'd want to be like that?

Gerald: You know that monster truck show this afternoon? Wish we could go.

Arnold: Can't, got detention.

Gerald: Yeah, me, too. Look at these! One for walking too fast, one for walking too slow, one for turning a corner too sharply, one for turning too wide, one for squeaky shoes, one for suspiciously quiet shoes. And these are from this morning. [tosses them on the floor and Phoebe writes another ticket and gives it to Gerald] What's this for?

Phoebe: One for littering.

[Phoebe has just given Helga a detention ticket]

Helga: Phoebe, get real. Helga Pataki doesn't do detentions. Besides, I've got tickets to the monster truck show. I was gonna take you.

Phoebe: No, you get real, Pataki. You're the one who told me not to let anyone push me around. Well, I'm not letting anyone push me around, and that includes you. And one more thing, I despise monster truck shows.

Helga: When I told you not to let anyone push you around, I didn't mean me!

Helga: You're a controlling, hall monitoring bully!

Phoebe: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Helga: Phoebe, over the last week, you've screamed at kids in the halls, you've rationed water at the drinking fountain...you've given out more tickets than a lottery! I mean, look around! Half of our class is sitting here in detention!

Phoebe: So what? I'm just acting like you.

Helga: Look in that reflection, what do you see? [Phoebe looks at herself in the reflection and her refection turns into a copy of Helga as she screams] Hey, it's not that scary.

Phoebe: Yes it is! I've lost the old Phoebe!

Coach Wittenberg/Four-Eyed Jack [2.16]

Arnold: Maybe you should try using psychology.

Coach Wittenberg: Hmmm. Psycho-ology, eh?

Oskar: Ghost? I don't believe in ghosts. I'm not the least bit superstitious.

Susie: [From inside] What do you mean you're not superstitious? You keep a horse shoe in your pants.

Oskar: Don't mock my families traditions!

Oskar: I know, let's catch him and sell him to the circus!

Eugene Goes Bad/What's Opera, Arnold? [2.17]

[The episode opens with the opera house with a bus in front of it, and then switches to the other side of the bus to show students from P.S. 118 in a group with Mr. Packadam in front of them. Helga steps out of the bus with Phoebe following behind]

Helga: Humph! Opera, what a bunch of dorks! La-de-da-froo-froo ladies in wigs singing a lotta 2-dollar words about nothing, doi!

Gerald: What a waste of a good field trip!

Harold: You said a mouthful, pal. Opera's for wimps!

[The students start yelling]

Mr. Packenham: Kids, kids, listen! Feel the music. Here's the big finish! [hums, then sighs when the music stops] And that was Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries". What do you think?

Students: Boo!

Stinky: That really bites!

Mr. Packenham: Stinky, you are entitled to your opinion; but I bet by the time we're finished with this field trip; I'll make an opera lover of you yet! [rewinds on the boom box and presses play] And this is, of course, the song of Pagliacci, the crying clown.

Harold: [steps out] Look at me, I'm Pagliacci, the big, sad clown. Boo, hoo, hoo! Ha, ha, ha!

[The students laugh]

Mr. Packenham: [pointing to the poster] And this is what we'll be seeing today. A classic tale of power and faithless love; the opera "Carmen".

Helga: Power and faithless love, huh? Ya got my attention.

Mr. Packenham: The story centers around Carmen, the beautiful gypsy, [the students ooh and aah] who flirts with the young Spanish officer, Don José. [the students hoot] Don José is, how you say, charmed by Carmen, and lets her escape arrest for, um, how should I put this, causing harm to another girl.

Helga: Maybe this won't be so boring after all, Pheebs.

Phoebe: Oh, not boring at all, Helga. "Carmen" is a great story.

Mr. Packenham: But Carmen forgets all about Don José the minute she sets her gypsy eyes on the torero Escamillo.

Gerald: [confused] Torero? What's a torero?

Curly: You know, a toreador, a bullfighter! [pulls out a handkerchief and holds it in the air; Harold acts like a bull and runs into it; removes it and bows] Ole!

[The students cheer; the lights flicker]

Mr. Packenham: Oh my gosh! Look, the show’s about to start. Everyone have your tickets ready.

[Everyone walks inside, but Helga sneaks behide a pillar)

Helga: [sneaks behind the pillar and spies on Arnold, along with Gerald, getting binoculars] Oh, Arnold, flamenco dancer stomping on the stage of my heart! Conquistador of my soul! With that, at this moment, I could know your heart's desire, my love. [Arnold aims his binoculars in the direction of Ruth, who's talking with Connie and Maria] Ruth! [cringes] Ruuuth! If only I can get that football-headed torero to feel that way about me! What am I doing wrong? What? [pushes usher out of the way] One side, moron!

[The students are on the balcony. Helga moves to her seat next to Gerald who is next to Arnold. As soon as Arnold and Gerald eat some caramels, the curtain opens to reveal the actors. Arnold leans closer to the edge, but then soon falls asleep]

[Arnold appears on a stage with the spotlight upon him]

Gerald: [offscreen] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!

Arnold: Huh?

Gerald: [steps out of the darkness, wearing fancy Rococo clothes] Figaro, Figaro, Figaro! [runs back into darkness]

Arnold: Hey, Gerald, what are you doing? Where are you going? What's going on? [crying comes from the other side and Harold steps out, dressed as a clown] Harold? [turns around and sees Harold crying] Uh, are you alright?

Harold: Look at me, Arnold! Look at me! I'm a...I'm a... [sings] ...big ugly clown, oh! A big, sad ugly clown, oh! [ries and runs away]

[A scene of a small town in Italy appears and all the townspeople laugh at Harold as he runs away. Then all of them look up and gasp as Arnold's clothes change instantly to that of Don José]

Townspeople [gasps] It's Ruth! It's Ruth!

Ruth: [dressed as Carmen, steps out, and slowly walks down the stairs halfway] I'm Ruth McCarmen, and awfully charmin'. [points to Arnold] I guess you've noticed by the way you stare. You're not bad either. [Arnold looks down and sees his new clothes] Let's take a breather, and we can talk about my auburn hair.

Townspeople: Her auburn hair! You're standing there. Why don't you introduce yourself to Ruth?

Stinky: She's like a flower blossom.

Sid: I know, she's wicked awesome!

Gerald: Come on, Arnold, it's the moment of truth! [pushes him to the foot of the stairs]

Arnold: [pulls up his pants] My name's Don Arnold, [pulls out caramel bag] please have a caramel. [she takes one and flutters her lashes] Your hair is lovely, do you like my pants? [smiles, embarrassed] They're made of satin, [takes off cape] the cape's pure Latin. [a hanger comes down and he hangs it; it goes back up] I had it tailored in the south of France.

[Ruth giggles]

Townspeople: The south of France, your satin pants. [a cow picks Arnold up] Why don't you ask the lady for a dance?

Stinky: It's time for your decision.

Sid: It's almost intermission.

Gerald: Hey, Arnold, you better ask her to dance.

Arnold: [they reach Ruth] Uhhh... [gets hit with a spitball; instantly wakes up] Hey, cut that out! Who's doing that?

Helga: [tucks the sling shot back in her shirt] I had to shut you up somehow. You were snoring louder than the orchestra.

[The students laugh]

Arnold: Man, how far into it are we?

Gerald: [looking at his tape] Beats me. I'm looking for something to listen to, until this thing is over. [puts on his headphones]

Phoebe: Second act. Now Carmen will convince Don José to desert from the army and join her band of gypsy smugglers. All goes okay for a while, but then this really handsome guy named Escamillo comes along.

[Helga falls asleep]

[The spotlight is on Arnold and Ruth, who are about to dance. Then lighting flashes, the sky splits, and a shadow falls on them. A flying horse comes from the sky with a Viking on him. Everyone runs when the flying horse lands, and the Viking turns out to be Helga]

Helga: [standing on the horse] Ruth is a lightweight, a giggling geek bait! I'm here to thrash her, [sticks a white flag in the ground] that's what I said! [holds the flag and leans to the other side] Ruth is a loser, how could you choose her?! [swings on the flag and lands in front of Arnold] How could you do that, football-head?!

Townspeople: Football-head! Football-head!

Helga: [pulls out picture of Ruth] To show my contempt her picture I shred! [shreds the picture and it falls to the floor]

Stinky: Helga's a Viking!

Sid: Sure is exciting!

Helga: I'm gonna thomp her right on the head!

Arnold: [steps up] Oh yeah? How?

Helga: [looks at him with evil eyes] With my golden magic slingshot! [pulls her out golden magic slingshot]

Stinky: Golden magic slingshot?

Sid: Golden magic slingshot?

Gerald: I thought it was a spear and a magic helmet!

Helga: No, [holds it in the air and points to it] with my golden magic slingshot! Doi! [crosses her arms; pulls a lighting bolt from her hair and puts it in her golden magic slingshot. Aims it at Ruth and then at the trap door switch] Hey Ruth! Scene's over, bonehead! [releases it, the trap door opens, and Ruth falls in]

Arnold: [on the floor] Ruth? Ruth? [Helga snaps her fingers and 3 girls come to change her, with a screen, of course; Looks as they finished. They removed the screen to reveal Helga in Ruth's clothes] Ruth?

Helga: [removes the fan from her face] Ruth? Humph! [Arnold looked bewildered] Just as I stated, she’s overrated. [Phoebe brings a chart and she opens it. It’s a chart of Ruth] A big no braino with enormous feet! [rolls it up] Why not forget her? I'm so much better! My name's CarmHelga and I'm awfully sweet!

Townspeople: She's awfully sweet, such tiny feet. Her name's CarmHelga and you two should meet!

Helga: [throws away her fan and lifts Arnold up] Come join my band of gypsies.

Gypsies: We're touring 50 cities!

Helga: [starts dancing with Arnold] With you, my gypsy band will be complete! [Arnold dips her] Perfect! What could possibly be better that this?

Curly: [offscreen] Hold it! [appears in Escamillo's clothes]

Girls: Curlimillo! It's Curlimillo! [faint]

Curly: Thank you very much! [slides down, then gives Helga a red rose. Then a bouquet, chocolate, a teddy bear, a wrapped gift, and a key to a brand new convertible! He runs back up the stairs] I'm so fine! The girls know I'm divine. [pulls out the mirror] The thing is I'm sublime, it's really true, ya know. [throws away mirror and takes out metal pot]

Girls: True you know.

Curly: Check out my puskador! [flicks it] I'm whatcha lookin' for! [runs down with the pot under his feet] Helga, won't you dump this guy and come to my bullfights?

[The pot covers Arnold's head]

Helga: Bullfights, huh?

Curly: Bullfights and swordfights, rolling in manure. [Arnold gets the pot off and it flies toward his head] Blows to the head [the pot hits him] I can endure. [Arnold runs into his cape and crashes into a table of pots] Fighting bulls is all I want in life, plus I could use a wife... [stands on a pillar]

Girls: Use a Wife.

Curly And several pairs of tights [the girls swoon] in shades of blue. [jumps off and kneels in front of Helga holding a ring with a huge diamond]

Girls: In Shades Of Blue.

Curly: Helga, please say "I do".

Girls: I Do!

[The townspeople cheer]

Arnold: Wait a minute. [takes off the pot over his hat, and whips out his "sword"] En guarde!

Curly: [whips out his own "sword"] Café au lait!

Townspeople: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

[Arnold and Curly are fighting on the bridge]

Helga: [to herself] At last, my dream comes true! Arnold, my true love, saving my honor, dueling to the death! Be still my beating heart! Hush my distempered breath! [hears someone wheezing; looks annoyed] I said hush my distempered breath! [the wheezing comes from Brainy, who's behind her. She punches him, as usual]

[Arnold and Curly fight at the edge of the stage; Arnold almost falls off as Curly rides Eugene to the side of the stage as Arnold runs after them. The weights take Arnold and Curly to the bell tower as Eugene gets covered in sand. They fight and slide down a rope into a haystack, where Arnold "stabs" Curly. He wails in pain and dies. Everyone mourns]

Curly: [lifts head] Thank you very much. [dies again]

[Arnold gets out of the hay, and with his eyes half closed he pulls Helga close]

Helga: Don Arnold, my love! [they're about to kiss, but the earth trembles and everyone runs in terror. Arnold departs] Arnold! Don Arnold! Wait, my love, wait! [fades to darkness] Don't go! [the sound comes from Gerald's rap music in his headphones, and wakes up to find herself on his lap. She jolts upright in time to see the curtain go down]

Gerald: [takes of headphones] So, how was it?

Arnold: It was... [Ruth passes by] interesting.

[They get up to leave]

Phoebe: Wasn't that great, Helga?

Helga: It was okay. [Gerald and Arnold pass by] It just ended too soon. [sighs]

[The episode ends as we fade to black]

Tour de Pond/Teachers Strike [2.18]

Grandpa Phil: We beated Smith Higgins! We beated Smith Higgins!

Part-Time Friends/Biosquare [2.19]

Helga: No electricity? No TV? No popcorn? No deal! I'm out of here.

Arnold: Hey, if you can't tough it out for 24 hours, than maybe you should leave.

Helga: Oh, so you don't think I'm tough enough, is that it, Bio Boy? Well, I'll show you, I can stand be anywhere for 24 hours. Even locked in a controlled environment, with you!