Home Alone

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Home Alone is an American 1990 film about a boy named Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), who is accidentally left at home for the holidays while the rest of his family goes to Paris. He must then protect his house from two intruders that have gone on a breaking and entering spree through the neighborhood.

Directed by Chris Columbus. Written by John Hughes.
"This is my house! I have to defend it!"
"There is no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes!"
"Think positive, Frank!"
"You be positive. I'll be realistic."
"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."


PG - ( music playing, involving, survival, evolved, immediate, innovative, aquel, liquid, the churchill catholic clock chiming tower bell rings at once and music song ends )

Kevin McCallister[edit]

  • I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. [applies aftershave; pretends to scream]
  • This is my house! I have to defend it!
  • I made my family disappear.
  • I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!
  • Did anyone order me plain cheese?
  • You guys give up? Or ya thirsty for more?


Kate: There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one who has to make trouble.
Kevin: I'm the only one getting dumped on.
Kate: You're the only one actin' up. Now, get upstairs.
Kevin: I am upstairs, dummy. The third floor?
Kate: Go.
Kevin: It's scary up there.
Kate: Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.
Kevin: I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!
Kate: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.
Kevin: I'm sorry.
Kate: It's too late. Get upstairs.
Kevin: Everyone in this family hates me.
Kate: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
Kevin: I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck!
Kate: Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.
Kevin: I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.
Kate: [hurt] I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
Kevin: No, I wouldn't.
Kate: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
Kevin: I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! [runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]

( tree branch breaks, power lines and alarm clock resetting )

Kevin: I made my family disappear! [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless.
Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.
Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff: Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kevin: [smiles] I made my family disappear.

[the McCallisters hurriedly head out of the house for the vans to the airport]
Frank: There's no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.
Peter: Think positive, Frank.
Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Johnny: Who is it?
Snakes: It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here.
Snakes: Alright, Johnny. But what about my money?
Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said ya had some dough for me.
Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%.
Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: Whattaya mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs, takin' a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey! I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. [takes out his Tommy Gun] I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full o' lead!
Snakes: [about to leave] Alright, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm goin'!
Johnny: 1... 2... 10! [opens fire at Snakes and laughs maniacally] Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Kevin: All right! Buzz's live savings.

Kevin: Oh, no! I'm very scared!
Harry: [to Kevin] It's too late for you, kid! We're already in the house! I'm gonna get you!

Harry: Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!
Marv: What are we gonna do him, Harry?!
Harry: We'll do exactly what we did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with his blowtorch.
Marv: Then we can smash his face with an iron!
Harry: I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe!
Marv: Or shove a nail through his foot!
Harry: The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of those little fingers, one at a time. [Marv laughs but gets whacked by a shovel and Harry gets whacked by a shovel]
Old Man Marley: Come on, let's get you home. [sirens wailing outside]
Kevin: Wow, this is great.
Officer 1: Nice move. Always leavin' the water running. Now we know each and every house that you guys have hit.
Officer 2: Yeah, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.
Marv: Yeah, well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits. Wet Bandits. That's W-E-T--
Harry: Shut up! Shut up! Get in the car! Hands off the head, pal!
Officer 1: Come on!
[Kevin waves goodbye and smirks as the police car drives way with Marv and Harry in it]

[last lines; Kevin is looking at Old Man Marley out the window and they both wave at each other]
Buzz: [off-screen] KEVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?!
[scared by this, Kevin runs off]


  • A Family Comedy Without The Family.
  • When Kevin's Family Left For Vacation, They Forgot One Minor Detail: Kevin. But Don't Worry... He Cooks. He Cleans. He Kicks Some Butt.
  • This Non-Family Comedy is a Real Scream.


See also[edit]

External links[edit]

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