Home Alone

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Home Alone is a 1990 film about a boy named Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), who is accidentally left at home for the holidays while the rest of his family goes to Paris. He must then protect his house from two intruders that have gone on a breaking and entering spree through the neighborhood.

Directed by Chris Columbus. Written by John Hughes.
"This is my house! I have to defend it!"
"There is no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes!"
"Think positive, Frank!"
"You be positive. I'll be realistic."
"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

Kevin McCallister[edit]

  • I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. [applies aftershave; pretends to scream]
  • This is my house! I have to defend it!
  • I made my family disappear.
  • I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!


Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Kevin: I'm the only one getting dumped on.
Kate: You're the only one acting up. Now, get upstairs.
Kevin: I am upstairs, dummy! The third floor?
Kate: Go.
Kevin: It's scary up there.
Kate: Don't be silly. Fuller'll be up in a little while.
Kevin: I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!
Kate: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.
Kevin: I'm sorry.
Kate: It's too late. Get upstairs.
Kevin: Everyone in this family hates me.
Kate: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.
Kevin: I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck!
Kate: Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.
Kevin: I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.
Kate: I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.
Kevin: No, I wouldn't.
Kate: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.
Kevin: I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! [runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]

Kevin: I made my family disappear! [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]
Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless.
Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.
Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.
Jeff: Kevin, you are such a disease!
Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.
Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!
Kevin: [smiles] I made my family disappear.

[the McCallisters hurriedly head out of the house for the vans to the airport]
Frank: There's no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes!
Peter: Think positive, Frank!
Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Johnny: Who is it?
Snakes: It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here.
Snakes: Alright, Johnny. But what about my money?
Johnny: What money?
Snakes: Acey said ya had some dough for me.
Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?
Snakes: Acey said 10%.
Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.
Snakes: Whattaya mean?
Johnny: He's upstairs, takin' a bath. He'll call you when he gets out. Hey! I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. [takes out his Tommy Gun] I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full o' lead!
Snakes: [about to leave] Alright, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm goin'!
Johnny: 1... 2... 10! [opens fire at Snakes and laughs maniacally] Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Harry: Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!
Marv: What are we gonna do him, Harry?!
Harry: We'll do exactly what we did to us. (All I need is 1 thing; myself.) I'll burn his head with his blowtorch.
Marv: And smash his face with iron!?
Harry: I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe.
Marv: Or shove a nail through his foot!?
Harry: The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of those little fingers, one at a time.

[last lines]
Buzz: [off-screen] KEVIN?!?!?!?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?!?!


  • A Family Comedy Without The Family.
  • When Kevin's Family Left For Vacation, They Forgot One Minor Detail: Kevin. But Don't Worry... He Cooks. He Cleans. He Kicks Some Butt.
  • This Non-Family Comedy is a Real Scream.


See also[edit]

External links[edit]

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