Jump to content

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

From Wikiquote

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is a 1992 film, the sequel to Home Alone, about the continuing adventures of a young kid, Kevin McCallister, who is left behind by his family during the Christmas holidays.

Directed by Chris Columbus. Written by John Hughes.
He's Up Past His Bedtime in the City That Never Sleeps.  (taglines)
"You can mess with a lot of things. But you can't mess with kids on Christmas."
"Stay in your rooms! This is an emergency! There's an insane guest, with a gun!"
"Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. Smell that?"
"Yeah. Fish."
"It's freedom."
"No, it's fish."
"It's freedom, and it's money."
"Okay, okay, it's freedom... And it's fish."
"Merry Christmas, indeed. Oh, Dad!"
"KEVIN!!! YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE?!"

Kevin McCallister

[edit]
  • You can mess with a lot of things. But you can't mess with kids on Christmas.
  • This is it. No turning back. Another Christmas in the trenches.
  • Oh, no. My family's in Florida and I'm in New York. My family's in Florida... I'm in... New York?
  • Don't you know a kid always wins against two idiots?

Dialogue

[edit]
[First lines; the McCallister family are hurriedly packing for their trip to Florida]
Frank: Where are my golf balls?
Tracy: Anyone seen my sun block?
Sondra: What's the point of going to Florida if you're gonna put on sun block?
Megan: I don't care if I age like an old suitcase, I'm getting toasted.
Buzz: Great, Now, you can be a skag with a slightly darker shade of skin.
Kate: Honey, are you packed yet?
Kevin: Yes.
Kevin on Recorder: Yes.
Kate: Everything I put out?
Kevin: Yes.
Kevin on Recorder: Yes.
Kate: Did you see what Grandma Penelope sent you for the trip?
Kevin: Let me guess. Donald Duck slippers?
Kate: Close. An inflatable clown to play with in the pool.
Kevin: [sarcastically] How exciting. Why do we have to go to Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida.
Kate: Kevin, what is it with you and Christmas trees?
Kevin: How can you have Christmas without a Christmas tree, Mom?
Kate: We'll find a nice fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.
Announcer: Guests of Ding, Dang, Dong stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel: New York's most exciting hotel experience. For reservations, call toll-free, 1-800-759...
Peter: Where's the camcorder battery?
Kate: I put it in the charger. How's this? Oh, much better.
Peter: Hey, Kevin, you'd better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.
Kevin: My tie's in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank's taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man. [Peter and Kate stare] Whatever that means.
Peter: [after a pause, chuckles] I'm sure he was kidding. Just run in there, get your tie, get out, and don't look at anything.
Buzz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to apologize for whatever displeasure I might've caused you.
Kevin: What?
Buzz: My prank was immature and ill-timed.
Frank: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-dern hilarious.
Buzz: I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.
Kate: Oh, Buzz, that was very nice. [the whole family claps their hands and stops, waiting for Kevin to say something] Kevin, do you have something to say?
Buzz: Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.
Kevin: I'm not sorry! I did what I did because Buzz humiliated me! And since he gets away with everything, I let him have it! And since you're all so stupid to believe his lies, I don't care if your idiotic Florida trip gets wrecked or not! Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate anyway?
Kate: Kevin!
Peter: Kevin, you walk out of here, you sleep on the third floor.
Fuller: Yeah, with me.
Kevin: So what else is new?
Frank: You'd better not wreck my trip, you little sourpuss! Your dad's paying good money for it!
Kevin: Oh, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate!
Buzz: What a troubled young man.
Kevin: They're all a bunch of jerks.
Kate: Hi. You know, Kevin, the last time we all tried to take a trip, we had a problem that started just like this.
Kevin: Yeah, with me getting dumped on.
Kate: I don't care for your choice of words. That's not what happened last time, and it's not what's happening this time. Buzz apologized to you.
Kevin: Yeah, then he called me a trout-sniffer. He didn't mean what he said. He was just sucking up to you.
Kate: Okay, why don't you just sit up here for a while and think things over? When you're ready to apologize to Buzz and the rest of the family, you can come down.
Kevin: I'm not apologizing to Buzz! I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
Kate: Then you can stay up here for the rest of the night.
Kevin: Fine. I don't wanna be down there anyway. I can't trust anybody in this family. And do you know what? If I had my own money, I'd go on my own vacation, alone, without any of you guys. And I'd have the most fun in my whole life.
Kate: Well, you got your wish last year. Maybe you'll get it again this year.
Kevin: I hope so!
Kate and Peter: [doorbell rings] WE DID IT AGAIN! [both get out of bed] AHHH!
Kate: Where's Kevin?
Kevin: [He grabs the ticket.] Fourteen. It's a good thing I have my own ticket, just in case you guys try to ditch me.
Kevin: Dad, wait up!
[In Miami, Peter picks Kevin's bag off the baggage claim carousel; it is passed from one family member to another]
Peter: This Kevin's? Give this to Kevin.
Kate: Give this... [tries to pass it to Frank, who waves her off; she passes it to Leslie instead] Give this to Kevin.
Leslie: Give this to Kevin.
Tracy: Give this to Kevin.
Linnie: Kevin.
Buzz: Give this to Kevin.
Rod: Give this to Kevin.
Sondra: Give this to Kevin.
Megan: Give this to Kevin.
Jeff: Give this to Kevin.
Brooke: Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: Here you go, Kevin. [notices elderly couple standing next to him instead of Kevin; passes bag up the line] Kevin's not here.
Brooke: Kevin's not here.
Jeff: Kevin's not here.
Megan: Kevin's not here.
Sondra: Kevin's not here.
Rod: Kevin's not here. [passes bag to Linnie, skipping Buzz]
Linnie: Kevin's not here.
Tracy: Kevin's not here.
Leslie: Kevin's not here. [passes bag to Kate, skipping Frank]
Kate: [gives bag to Peter] Kevin's not here.
Peter: [incredulously] What?!
Kate: [laughs, but immediately gasps in shock, then screams at the top of her lungs in alarm] KEVIN!!!!!!!!! [faints]
Cop: Merry Christmas. No sign of him. We're gonna have to be able to get a hold of you. Do you have hotel arrangements?
Peter: Yeah.
Cop: Do you have a recent photo of the boy?
Peter: I have one in my wallet. I don't have my wallet. My wallet's in my bag. Kevin was looking into my bag at the airport. He was looking for batteries. Kevin has my wallet.
Cop: Did you have credit cards in the wallet?
Peter: Credit cards, money...
Cop: We'll notify the credit card companies immediately. If your son has the cards, we can get a location on him when and if he uses them.
Kate: No, I don't think Kevin knows how to use a credit card.
Cop: What's the child's name?
Kate: Kevin.
Peter: K-E-V-I-N.
Cop: When did you see him last?
Kate: Curbside check-in?
Peter: No, I saw him at the door. He was with us in the terminal.
Cop: Most people get separated at security checkpoints. Did everyone get through security?
Kate: I don't know. Peter...
Peter: We were in a hurry. We had to run all the way to the gate.
Cop: When did you notice he was missing?
Kate: When we picked up our baggage here.
Cop: Has the boy ever run away from home?
Peter: No.
Cop: Has he ever been in a situation where he's been on his own?
Kate: As a matter of fact, this has happened before. It's becoming a McCallister family tradition.
Peter: Funnily enough, we never lose our luggage.
[Peter and Kate attempt to laugh at the joke, but the cop just stares at them]
Kate: He was left at home, by accident, last year.
Peter: That's what my wife meant calling it a McCallister family tradition.
Cop: We'll call Chicago and notify them of the situation. The odds are that's where he is.
Peter: Thanks.
Cop: It's very unlikely he'd be anywhere else.
[Harry and Marv, who have escaped from prison, have arrived in New York in a fish truck]
Harry: Here we are, Marv. New York City, the Land of Opportunity. [takes a deep breath] Smell that?
Marv: [takes a deep breath] Yeah.
Harry: You know what that is?
Marv: Fish.
Harry: It's freedom.
Marv: No, it's fish.
Harry: It's freedom, and it's money.
Marv: Okay, okay, it's freedom.
Harry: Come on, let's get out of here before somebody sees us. [leaves the truck]
Marv: And it's fish. [follows Harry]
Harry: Yep, one quick score. We get ourselves a couple of phony passports and we hightail it to some foreign country.
Marv: Arizona? [shoves tape-covered hand into a donation kettle to steal some coins]
Harry: That's very smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14 cents from a Santy Claus?
Marv: Every little bit helps. Besides, now we got our new nickname. We're the Sticky Bandits!
Harry: [sarcastically] Real cute. Very cute.
Marv: Huh?
Kevin: Excuse me, where's the lobby?
Donald Trump: Down the hall and to the left.
Kevin: Thank you.
Cedric: You know, Herbert Hoover once stayed on this floor.
Kevin: The vacuum guy?
Cedric: No, the, uh, president.
Mr. Hector: We'd like to offer you a complimentary suite while you're here. It's a penthouse with a view of the park. I think you'll find it satisfactory. It was recently vacated by the Countess of Worcestershire.
Kate: What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?
Mrs. Stone: The boy had a very convincing story.
Kate: What kind of idiots do you have working here?!
Mrs. Stone: The finest in New York.
Peter: Well, I mean, when you discovered that the credit card was stolen, what...
Mr. Hector: [proudly] I made the discovery.
Kate: Why did you let him leave?
Mr. Hector: When we attempted to confront him, he ran.
Peter: You scared him away!
Kate: It's Christmas Eve, and because of you, our child is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.
Peter: [to Cedric] Could you take our family and our luggage up to the room, please?
Cedric: Yes, sir!
Mr. Hector: Run along, Cedric.
Peter: [to Kate] I'm gonnna go down to the police station. I'm gonna make sure that they're doing everything in their power to find Kevin. I want you to stay here with Frank, Leslie and the kids.
Kate: No! I'm going out to look for him.
Peter: What?
Mr. Hector: With all due respect, madam, your son is lost in one of the biggest cities in the world.
Peter: [to Mr. Hector] Could you stay out of this, please?
Mr. Hector: As you wish.
Peter: Thank you. [to Kate] I don't think it's a good idea for you to start running around all over New York City all by yourself.
Kate: I think if our son can do it, I can do it.
Peter: Kate, if...
Kate: Peter, I'll be fine. The way I'm feeling right now, no mugger or murderer would dare mess with me!
Mr. Hector: Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth- [Kate slaps him] Do bundle up. It's awfully cold outside.
Kevin: You gotta help me! There's two guys after me!
Mr. Hector: What's the matter? Store wouldn't take your... stolen credit card? Let's see what the police have to say about this.
Harry: Get up! Get up! Come on, let's go get him!
Mr. Hector: Get back here, you little thief! Stop that child!
Cedric: Grab him! [he screams as he and Mr. Hector crash into Mrs. Stone and fall over]
Mr. Hector: You little sh...
Kevin: I've committed credit card fraud.
Mr. Hector: Get me security! We've got to stop that delinquent! Come along, Cedric!
Kevin: I've had enough of this vacation. I'm goin' home.
[Kevin scrambles back to his room after finding that Peter's credit card has been reported stolen, with Hector and the hotel staff in hot pursuit. He plays back Angels with Even Filthier Souls on the VHS]
Johnny: Hold it right there!
[Hector and the crew stop as Kevin forwards to the right sections and mutes the dame (Carlotta) in the dialogue]
Mr. Hector: This is the Concierge, sir.
Johnny: I knew it was you. I could smell ya gettin' off the elevator! You was here last night too, wasn't ya?
Mr. Hector: Yes, sir. I was.
Johnny: You was here...and you was smoochin' wit my brother.
[The other hotel staff start giving Hector odd looks]
Mr. Hector: But...I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.
Johnny: Don't gimme that. You been smoochin' wit everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Moe with the gimpy leg, Cheeks, Bony Bob, Cliff...
[Cliff the security guard gasps; the rest of the staff stares at him]
Cliff: No. It's a lie!
Johnny: I could go on forever, baby!
Mr. Hector: I'm terribly sorry, sir, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. We're looking for a young man.
Johnny: Alright. I believe ya. [reveals his Tommy gun]. But my Tommy gun don't! [Mr. Hector gives a confused look] Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
Mr. Hector: On your knees. [the entire staff gets down on their knees] I love you!
[Kevin snickers quietly and unmutes the T.V.]
Johnny: Ya gotta do better than that!
Staff: [in unison] I love you!
Johnny: Maybe I'm off my hinges, but I believe ya. That's why I'm gonna let ya go. I'm gonna give ya 'til the count of 3 to get your lousy, lyin', low-down, four-flushing carcass out my door! 1... 2...! [Johnny opens fire wildly, cackling, as the hotel staff dive for cover] 3! [while Kevin mouths him from the emergency exit] Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! [shoots again] And a Happy New Year. [shoots once more]
[Kevin, fleeing the hotel, is caught by Harry and Marv]
Harry: Come to Papa!
Marv: [grabs Kevin's plane ticket] Ha! Round trip to Miami. What's the matter, get on the wrong plane, squirt?
Harry: Looks like you won't be needin' this, kid. [tears it up]
Marv: American don't fly to the promised land, little buddy. [they hustle him away]
Harry: Come on. We spent nine months in jail, thinking we had the worst luck in the universe. We were wrong, little buddy.
Marv: We busted out of the clink and we're doing fine. We're gonna be doing even better, because we're not robbing houses anymore. [Harry chuckles] Now we're robbing toy stores.
[Kevin surreptitiously switches on the Talkboy in his pocket to record the conversation]
Marv: At midnight tonight, we're hitting Duncan's Toy Chest. Five floors of cash. Then after that, we get a couple of phony passports, then it's off to Rio...
Harry: Marv! Marv!
Marv: Huh?
Harry: You want to shut up?
Marv: What's the difference? He's not gonna talk to anybody. Except maybe a fish. Or the undertaker.
Harry: Let's just get him to the subway tunnel. I'll feel a lot better once we get him on ice. [to Kevin] I've got a gun in my pocket. You open your mouth, and you'll be spitting gum out through your forehead.

[glancing at him and Marv and seeing they're not looking, Kevin reaches out and pinches the butt of the woman in front of them; as she turns around, it happens to be the woman who slapped Marv earlier; and her eyes widen in recognition]

Marv: [trying to be suave again] Well, hello. [she punches him in the face and he falls over]
Kevin: [indicating Harry] He did it!
Harry: Did what? [she punches Harry, too]
Kevin: Thanks!
Harry: Go get him!
Marv: He went in the park.
Harry: What are you doing, flirting?!

[kids shouting]

Marv: Over there!
Boy: Don't!
Girl: Give it!
Marv: Hey, Harry. I got him.
Harry: Let me see! That ain't him! Put him down, that ain't him! We should've shot him while we had the chance. I hate pulling a job, knowing that little creep is on the loose.
Marv: What else can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.
Harry: Not this kid.
Marv: But this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's all alone. Kids are scared of the park.
Harry: Yeah, grown men come in the park and don't ever leave alive. Good luck, little fella.
[Kate is informed by airport security that Kevin is on the run in New York]
Kate: [to everyone] We're goin' to New York, move it!
Buzz: Yes!
[The other McCallisters shout approval; everybody scrambles to pack]
Kate: He ran away from the hotel when they questioned him about the card. He must be so scared, Peter.
Peter: I wonder if he'd know enough to go to my brother's place.
Kate: Aren't they in Paris?
Peter: Maybe they have a house sitter.
Kate: I thought you said they were renovating.
[Harry and Marv chase Kevin back to his uncle's townhouse under renovation]
Marv: Where'd he go?!
Kevin: [on the roof] I'm up here! Come and get me! [takes a picture of them]
Marv: Let's kill!
Harry: Hold on, pea-brain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
Marv: This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's runnin' scared. He ain't got a plan.
Harry: May I do the thinking, please? [Marv gestures "go ahead"] Thank you. [calls up to Kevin] Sonny!
Kevin: Yes?
Harry: Nothing would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you. Knockin' off a youngster ain't gonna mean all that much to me. Understand?
Kevin: Mmm-hmm.
Harry: But since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal wit'cha. You throw down your camera, and we won't hurt ya. You'll never hear from us again. Okay?
Kevin: You promise?
Harry: I cross my heart and hope to die.
Kevin: Okay!
Harry: [he and Marv snicker] Okay, kid. Give it to me! [Kevin throws a brick, hitting Marv on the forehead]
Marv: Oh! [falls down]
Kevin: Direct hit!
Harry: You better say every prayer you ever heard before, kid!
Marv: I hope your parents got ya a tombstone for Christmas! Where'd he go?!
Kevin: I'm up here, and I'm very scared.
Marv: Over there!
Harry: I don't care if I get the electric chair, I'm killin' that kid! Surrender, kid!
Marv: He vanished.
Kevin: I'm down here, you big horses ass!
Marv: Whoa!
Kevin: Nice night for a neck injury.
Marv: Suck brick, kid! [?] No!
Marv: Harry? You wearing aftershave?
Harry: That's not aftershave, that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it.
Marv: Now, why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?
Kevin: [lights a match, Harry and Marv look at him] Merry Christmas. [sets the rope on fire]
Harry: GO UP! [Marv screams in horror]
Marv: My, how the tables have turned.
Harry: How do you like the ice, kid? [he and Marv laugh, pick up Kevin and force him to walk beside them] Let's go for a little stroll in the park. Give me that bag. Give me it! Hey, these'll look great in the photo album.
Marv: You may have won the battle, little dude, but you've lost the war.
Harry: You ought not have messed with us, pal. We're dangerous. [pulls his varnish-covered revolver out of his pocket]
Marv: Harry?
Harry: Shut up.
Marv: [watches the pigeons in the trees] Harry.
Harry: Shut up! I wanna enjoy this.
Marv: Something's wrong. Let's get out of here.
Harry: Shut up, I said! [still pointing revolver at Kevin] I never made it to the sixth grade, kid, and it doesn't look like you're gonna either.
Pigeon Lady: [shows up with a bucket full of birdseed] Let him go! [Harry and Marv look at her] KEVIN, RUN! [Kevin runs away]
Marv: Shoot her! Shoot her! SHOOT HER!
Harry: [tries to do so, but his fingers are too sticky to get a grip ] I'M TRYING TO SHOOT HER!
Officer #2: Oh, my God!
Officer #1: All right, let's go.
Officer #2: On your feet.
Harry: Take it easy.
Officer #1: You guys should have started earlier. The prisoners have already exchanged gifts.
Marv: We missed the presents? He made us hide out in a toy store so we could steal all of the kid's charity money.
Harry: [angrily kicks Marv] Shut up, Marv!
Marv: [pigeon flies out his jacket] AAAH!
Harry: Got the right to remain silent, ya know.
Marv: He's a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.
Harry: [angrily kicks Marv again] SHUT UP, MARV!!! Geez!
Officer #1: Get 'em out of here.
Officer #2: All right, let's go.
Marv: Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits! We're the Sticky Bandits! Ow! That's Sticky! That's S...
Harry: Shut it!
Marv: T, uh...
Harry: I.
Marv: I...
[As Duncan and a cop inspect the damage to his store, a police inspector finds Kevin's note and brick]
Cop: Well, Mr. Duncan, it's all over with. We apprehended the thieves and we recovered your money.
Duncan: Good. I wanna get that money over to the Children's Hospital as soon as possible.
Cop: Yeah, I'll handle it personally.
Duncan: Ah! Thank you very much!
Inspector: Excuse me, Mr. Duncan?
Duncan: Yes?
Inspector: [hands note to him] I found this note. Looks like a kid broke your window.
Duncan: Huh. [starts reading]
Kevin's voice: Dear Mr. Duncan, I broke your window to catch the bad guys. I'm sorry. Do you have insurance? If you don't, I'll send you some money, if I ever get back to Chicago. Merry Christmas, Kevin McCallister. P.S.: Thanks for the turtledoves.
Duncan: [smiles broadly] Turtledoves. Ohhh...
[Kate approaches an NYPD patrol car stopped at a curb while looking for Kevin]
Kate: Do you have kids?
Cop: Yes, ma'am.
Kate: And what would you do if one of them was missing?
Cop: I'd probably be doing the same thing you're doing.
Kate: Thank you.
Cop: Look, put yourself in your kid's shoes. Where would you go? What would you do?
Kate: Me? I'd probably be lying dead in a gutter somewhere. Oh, but not Kevin. No. Kevin is so much stronger and braver than I am. And I know Kevin's fine. I'm sure he is. But he's still all by himself in a big city, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves to be at home, with his own family, around his Christmas tree. [pauses in realization] Oh, dear God. I know where he is! I need to get to Rockefeller Center!
Cop: Hop in.
[last lines; Cedric brings Kevin's room service bill to the McCallisters' room]
Cedric: Mr. McCallister's room service bill, sir. [hands it to Buzz] Merry Christmas, sir. [holds out his hand for a tip]
Buzz: Oh, uh, hmm. [hands over the gum he has been chewing]
Cedric: [deadpan, to himself] Nice family, really.
Buzz: [to himself, reading bill, smirking] Merry Christmas, indeed. [in sing-song voice] Oh, Daa-aad! [Outside, Kevin is with the Pigeon Lady in Central Park]
Peter: [off-screen; furiously screaming from the hotel] KEVIN!!! YOU SPENT NINE HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN DOLLARS ON ROOM SERVICE?! [Kevin, startled, gasps and runs off]

Taglines

[edit]
  • He's Up Past His Bedtime in the City That Never Sleeps.
  • Yikes! I Did It Again!
  • First, He Was Home Alone, Now, He's Lost in New York.
  • Start Spreading the News... New York is a Real Scream!
  • Guess Who's Alone in New York This Christmas!

Cast

[edit]

See also

[edit]
[edit]
Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Retrieved from "https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Home_Alone_2:_Lost_in_New_York&oldid=3899439"