Home Alone

Home Alone is an American Christmas comedy in 1990 film about a boy named Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), who is left at home for an accident while the rest of his family goes to Paris. He must then protect his house from two intruders that have gone on a breaking and entering spree through the neighborhood.

Directed by Chris Columbus. Written by John Hughes.

Kevin's Mother

Yeah. Hi, look. I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. Our phones there are out of order.

Kevin McCallister

I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap, including all my major crevices, including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult-formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. [applies aftershave; pretends to scream]
This is my house! I have to defend it!
I made my family disappear.
I hope that I never see any of you jerks again!
Did anyone order me plain cheese?
You guys give up? Or ya thirsty for more?
Help, My house is being robbed. My
address is $656$ Lincoln Boulevard. My name's Murphy.

Old Man Marley

Merry Christmas. May I sit down?

Santa Claus

SON OF A!!!

Dialogue

Kevin: Mom, Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie, but the big kids can. Why can't I?

Kate: Kevin, I'm on the phone. [on the phone] When do you come back? Not till then?

Kevin: It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk.

Kate: Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad. [on the phone] No, we're not bringing the dog, we're putting it in the kennel for the... Hey, get off! Kevin, out of the room.

Kevin: Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you?

Kate: This kid.

Peter: Hey, did you pick up a voltage adapter thing, by any chance?

Kate: No, I didn't have time to do that.

Peter: Then how do I shave in France?

Kate: Grow a goatee.

Kevin: Dad, nobody'll let me do anything.

Peter: I've got something for you to do. Why don't you pick up those Micro-Machines that are in there? Aunt Leslie stepped on one and almost broke her neck.

Kate: He was in the garage again playing with the glue gun.

Peter: Didn't we talk about that?

Kevin: Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. I made ornaments out of fishhooks.

Peter: My new fishhooks?

Kevin: I can't make ornaments out of the old ones with dry worm guts stuck on them.

Kate: Peter.

Peter: Come on, Kevin. Out.

Kevin: I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done it once in my whole life!

Jeff: Tough.

Kevin: That's what Megan said.

Megan: What did I say?

Jeff: You told Kevin "Tough".

Megan: The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say, "Congratulations, you're an idiot"?

Kevin: I'm not an idiot!

Megan: Oh, really? You're completely helpless! Everyone has to do everything for you.

Jeff: She's right, Kev.

Kevin: Excuse me, puke-breath, I'm a lot smaller than you! I don't know how to pack a suitcase!

Linnie: Hey, I hope you didn't just pack crap, Jeff.

Jeff: Shut up, Linnie.

Kevin: You know what I should pack?

Jeff: Buzz told you, cheek-face. Toilet paper and water.

Linnie: Listen, Kev, what are you so worried about? You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff anyway. You're what the French call "les incompetents".

Kevin: What?

Jeff: [throws his bag down the stairs which lands at Harry's feet] Bombs away!

Linnie: P.S. You have to sleep on the hide-a-bed with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he's gonna wet the bed.

Kevin: This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! [jumps up and down in frustration as Harry looks up at him] Did you hear me? I'm living alone! I'm living alone!

Rod: [taps on the spider's tank] Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone?

Buzz: He just ate a load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple weeks. Is it true French babes don't shave their pits?

Rod: Some don't.

Buzz: But they got nude beaches.

Rod: Not in the winter.

Kevin: Buzz?

Buzz: Don't you know how to knock, phlegm-wad?

Kevin: Can I sleep in your room? I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed.

Buzz: I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass! Check it out. Old man Marley.

Rod: Who's he?

Buzz: You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer?

Rod: No.

Buzz: That's him. Back in '58, he murdered his whole family and half the people on this block... with a snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since.

Rod: If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him?

Buzz: Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies. But everyone around here knows he did it. It'll just be a matter of time... before he does it again.

Rod: What's he doing now?

Buzz: He walks up and down the streets every night... salting the sidewalks.

Rod: Maybe he's just trying to be nice.

Buzz: No way. See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummies.

Kevin: [whispering] Mummies!

Buzz: [as Marley spots them, he quickly closes the curtains] Yeow! Look out!

Kate: [to Kevin] What is the matter with you?!

Kevin: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausage and olives and onions and...

Uncle Frank: [cutting him off] Look what you did, you little jerk!

[Everyone goes quiet, looking at Kevin]

Kate: Kevin, get upstairs right now.

Kevin: Why?

Jeff: Kevin, you're such a disease.

Kevin: Shut up!

Peter: Kevin, upstairs!

Kate: Say good night, Kevin.

Kevin: [sarcastically] "Good night, Kevin". Why do I always get treated like scum?

Kate: [to Pizza Boy] Oh, I am sorry. This house is just crazy. We've got all these extra kids running around. My brother-in-law drove in from Ohio today. It's just nuts.

Kevin: How come you didn't bring any more cheese pizzas?

Pizza Boy: Nice tip. Thanks a lot.

Kate: Thanks.

Harry: Having a reunion or something?

Kate: My husband's brother transferred to Paris last year. His kids are still there. He missed the family, so he invited us to Paris so we can be together.

Harry: You're taking a trip to Paris?

Kate: Yes, we hope to leave tomorrow morning.

Harry: Excellent, excellent.

Kate: If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. I'll be right back.

Harry: Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband already. And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands.

Kate: [escorting Kevin to the attic after he caused trouble in the kitchen] There are 15 people in this house. You're the only one who has to make trouble.

Kevin: I'm the only one getting dumped on.

Kate: You're the only one actin' up. Now, get upstairs.

Kevin: I am upstairs, dummy. Third floor?

Kate: Go.

Kevin: It's scary up there.

Kate: Don't be silly. Fuller will be up in a little while.

Kevin: I don't wanna sleep with Fuller. You know about him. He wets the bed. He'll pee all over me. I know it!

Kate: Fine. We'll put him somewhere else.

Kevin: I'm sorry.

Kate: It's too late. Get upstairs.

Kevin: Everyone in this family hates me.

Kate: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family.

Kevin: I don't want a new family! I don't want any family! Families suck!

Kate: Just stay up there. I don't wanna see you again for the rest of the night.

Kevin: I don't wanna see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't wanna see anybody else, either.

Kate: [feeling hurt] I hope you don't mean that. You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family.

Kevin: No, I wouldn't.

Kate: Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen.

Kevin: I hope that I never see any of you jerks again! [runs upstairs in a huff, and Kate closes the door]

[the McCallisters hurriedly head out of the house for the vans to the airport]

Frank: There's no way on Earth we're gonna make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes.

Peter: Think positive, Frank.

Frank: You be positive. I'll be realistic.

Kate: Heather, did you count heads?

Heather: 11 including me, 5 boys, 6 girls, 4 parents, 2 drivers and a partridge in a pear tree.

Kevin: I made my family disappear! [has a flashback to what his family told him the night before]

Megan: Kevin, you're completely helpless.

Linnie: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompétents.

Buzz: Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula.

Jeff: Kevin, you are such a disease!

Kate: There are 15 people in this house, and you're the only one who has to make trouble.

Frank: Look what you did, you little jerk!

Kevin: [smiles, to himself] I made my family disappear.

[Kevin puts in a VHS tape for "Angels with Filthy Souls"; later during one particular scene, a stranger knocks on Johnny's office door.]

Johnny: Who is it?

Snakes: [walks in] It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff.

Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep, and get the hell outta here.

Snakes: All right, Johnny. But what about my money?

Johnny: What money?

Snakes: Acey said you had some dough for me.

Johnny: That a fact? How much do I owe you?

Snakes: Acey said 10 percent.

Johnny: Too bad Acey ain't in charge no more.

Snakes: What do you mean?

Johnny: He's upstairs, takin' a bath.

Kevin: [calling out] Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!

Johnny: He'll call you when he gets out. Hey, I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. [takes out his Tommy Gun] I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no good keister
off of my property, before I pump your guts full of lead.

Snakes: [about to leave] All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going.

Johnny: 1, 2, 10!

[Johnny fires his gun repeatedly at Snakes and laughs maniacally; Snakes falls to the ground dead. Johnny continues shooting as Kevin covers his eyes in horror.]

Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Kevin: [after a pause] MOM!!

Peter: What's the matter? Honey?

Kate: I have a terrible feeling.

Peter: About what?

Kate: That we didn't do something.

Peter: Oh, no, you feel that way because we left in such a hurry. We took care of everything. Believe me, we did.

Kate: Did I turn off the coffee?

Peter: No, I did.

Kate: Did you lock up?

Peter: Yeah.

Kate: Did you close the garage?

Peter: That's it. I forgot to close the garage. That's it.

Kate: No, that's not it.

Peter: What else could we be forgetting?

Kate: [after a brief long silence, she shocks and realizes that they’re actually forgetting something] KEVIN!!

Megan: This is so pointless.

Buzz: What?

Megan: We're here rotting in this apartment, Kevin's at home, Mom's at the airport.

Buzz: So?

Megan: You're not at all worried about Kevin?

Buzz: Why should I be? He's acted like a jerk one too many times, and now he caught it in the butt.

Megan: He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out?

Buzz: The trout can use a couple of days in the real world.

Megan: You're not worried that something might happen to him?

Buzz: No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we have smoke detectors. And D, we live in the most boring street in the whole United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.

[The Little Nero's Pizza truck pulls up and the delivery guy rings the doorbell; Kevin plays the scene from "Angels With Filthy Souls" from earlier.]

Johnny: Who is it?

Delivery man: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza.

Johnny: Leave it on the doorstep and get outta here.

Delivery man: Okay. [puts the pizza on the doorstep] Um, well, what about the money?

Johnny: What money?

Delivery man: Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.

Johnny: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

Delivery man: Uh, that'll be $11.80, sir.

[Kevin leaves $12.00 on the doorstep]

Johnny: Keep the change, ya filthy animal.

Delivery man: Cheapskate.

Johnny: Hey, I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no good keister off of my property, before I pump your guts full of lead. 1, 2, 10!

[Johnny's gunfire is heard as the delivery man flees the house in fright]

Kevin: [picks up the pizza, breaths in and exhales] A lovely cheese pizza just for me.

Scranton ticket agent: Everything's full.

Kate: Everything's full?

Scranton ticket agent: I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve.

Kate: What about another airline?

Scranton ticket agent: Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room in the city? Tomorrow afternoon we can get you a flight to Chicago.

Kate: I can't wait that long.

Scranton ticket agent: I'm terribly sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can.

Kate: [to woman waiting] Go ahead. I'm in your way. I'm sorry. You've got places to go, people to see. You got a ticket there. That's good. [pushes woman out of the way] Excuse me. Look, I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty. I have been from Chicago to Paris to Dallas to... Where the hell am I?

Scranton ticket agent: Scranton.

Kate: I'm trying to get home to my 8-year-old son! Now you're telling me it is hopeless?

Scranton ticket agent: I'm sorry.

Kate: No, no, no, no, no! No way! This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope! I don't care if I have to get on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the Devil himself, I am going to get home to my son.

Scranton ticket agent: Ma'am, if there was anything at all I could do for you...

Kate: Do it. Do anything.

Scranton ticket agent: I can get you a hotel room.

Kate: What?

Gus: Can you excuse us for a sec? Can I see you for a second, please? Excuse us. [pulls Kate aside] You got a bit of a dilemma. We got a crisis ourselves. Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? No? That's okay. I thought you might have recognized I had a few hits a few years ago. That's why I just... "Polka, Polka, Polka"? [singing] "Twin Lakes Polka"? "Yamahoozie Polka" a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"?

Kate: These are songs?

Gus: Yeah, we... Some fairly big hits for us. You know, in the early 70s. Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that.

Kate: In Chicago?

Gus: No, Sheboygan. Very big in Sheboygan.

Kate: Did you say you could help me?

Gus: Anyway, I'm rambling on here. Our flight was canceled, so we gotta drive. See the guy in the yellow jacket over there by the Budget sign? He's gonna rent us a nice big van, and we're gonna drive to Milwaukee. I heard you had some problems getting to Chicago to see your kid or something?

Kate: Uh, my son. We left, and he's there.

Gus: Aw, geez. If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you. It's on the way to Milwaukee.

Kate: You'd give me a ride?

Gus: Sure, we will. Why not? You've gotta get home to see your kid.

Kate: A ride to Chicago?

Gus: Sure. Why not? It's Christmastime.

Kate: Thank you. Oh, thank you.

Gus: If you don't mind going with some polka bums.

Kate: No, I'd love to.

Kevin: Excuse me.

Santa's Elf: Yeah?

Kevin: Hey, nice shoes.

Santa's Elf: Oh, thanks.

Kevin: Is he still here? It's really important that I see him.

Santa's Elf: He's getting in his car. I guess if you hurry, you can catch him.

Santa: Damn! How low can you go! Giving Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?

Kevin: Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a minute?

Santa: If you make it quick. Santa's got a little get-together he's late for.

Kevin: I know that you're not the real Santa Claus.

Santa: What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity.

Kevin: I'm old enough to know how it works.

Santa: All right.

Kevin: But I also know you work for him. And I'd like you to give him a message.

Santa: Shoot.

Kevin: My name is Kevin McCallister, and my address is 671 Lincoln Boulevard. Do you need the phone number?

Santa: No, that's all right.

Kevin: This is extremely important. Would you please tell him that instead of presents this year, I just want my family back. No toys. Nothing but Kate, Peter, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff. And my aunt and my cousins. And if he has time, my Uncle Frank, okay?

Santa: Okay, I'll see what I can do.

Kevin: Thanks.

Santa: Wait. Hold on a second. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend.

Kevin: That's okay.

Santa: No, no, no, don't be silly. Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get something. Here, hold out your little paw there. [pours out a few mint Tic-Tacs into Kevin's glove] There you go. Don't spoil your dinner.

Kevin: I won't. Thanks.

Santa: SON OF A!!!

["Old Man Marley" approaches Kevin during a choir service at the local church]

Marley: Merry Christmas.

Kevin: Huh?

Marley: May I sit down? [Kevin nods] That's my granddaughter up there. The little red-haired girl. She's about your age. You know her?

Kevin: No.

Marley: You live next to me, don't you?

Kevin: Yeah.

Marley: You can say hello when you see me. There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay? You been a good boy this year?

Kevin: I think so.

Marley: You swear to it?

Kevin: No.

Marley: I had a feeling. Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself.

Kevin: It is?

Marley: I think so.

Kevin: Are you feeling bad about yourself?

Marley: No.

Kevin: I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. I really haven't been too good this year. I'm kind of upset about it because I really like my family. Even though sometimes I say I don't. Sometimes I even think I don't. Do you get that?

Marley: I think so. How you feel about your family's a complicated thing.

Kevin: Especially with an older brother.

Marley: Deep down, you always love 'em. But you can forget that you love 'em. And you can hurt them and they can hurt you. And that's not just because you're young. You wanna know the real reason I'm here right now?

Kevin: Sure.

Marley: I came to hear my granddaughter sing. And I can't hear her tonight.

Kevin: You have plans?

Marley: No. I'm not welcome.

Kevin: At church?

Marley: You're always welcome at church. I'm not welcome with my son. Years back, before you and your family moved on the block, I had an argument with my son.

Kevin: How old is he?

Marley: He's grown up. We lost our tempers, and I said I didn't care to see him anymore. He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since.

Kevin: If you miss him, why don't you call him?

Marley: I'm afraid if I call him he won't talk to me.

Kevin: How do you know?

Marley: I don't. I'm just afraid he won't talk to me.

Kevin: No offense, but, aren't you a little old to be afraid?

Marley: You can be a little old for a lot of things. You're never too old to be afraid.

Kevin: That's true. I was afraid of our basement. It's dark. There's weird stuff down there, and it smells funny. That sort of thing. It's bothered me for years.

Marley: Basements are like that.

Kevin: I made myself go down to do some laundry... and I found out it's not so bad. I worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal.

Marley: What's your point?

Kevin: My point is, you should call your son.

Marley: What if he won't talk to me?

Kevin: At least you'll know. Then you could stop worrying about it. You won't have to be afraid anymore. No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad, especially around the holidays.

Marley: I don't know.

Kevin: Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway. I'm sure she misses you. And the presents.

Marley: I send her a check.

Kevin: I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a Big Bird knitted on it.

Marley: Oh, that's nice.

Kevin: Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that. I have a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.

Marley: You better run home where you belong. Think about what I said, all right?

Kevin: Okay.

Marley: It's nice talking to you.

Kevin: Nice talking to you. What about you?

Marley: Me?

Kevin: Yeah, you and your son.

Marley: We'll see what happens. Merry Christmas.

Kevin: Merry Christmas.

Harry: Merry Christmas, little fella- we know that you're in there, and that you're all alone.

Marv: Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. It's Santa Claus and his elf.

Harry: We're not gonna hurt you.

Marv: No, no. We got some nice presents for you.

Harry: Be a good little fella now and open the door. [Kevin shoots Harry in the groin] Owww! [Harry falls to his knees as he mumbles under his breath]

Marv: What? What? What? What? What happened?

Harry: Get that little----!

Kevin: Hello. [shoots Marv in the head; Marv screams in pain] Yes! Yes!

Marv: That little jerk is armed!

Harry: That's it! That's it! I'm going in the front! You go down the basement! That smart aleck. Oh, boy. That's it, you little... You little... No, not this time, you little brat. You little creep, where are you? [Harry gets his hand burnt, screams in agony and then puts his hand in the snow]

Kevin: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Harry: I'll rip his head off! You're dead, kid. [Harry gets his head blowtorched] Ahhhhhh! [He runs out, and puts his head in the snow] [kicks the door open] Where are you, you little creep?!

Marv: Harry, I'm coming in!

Kevin: Oh, no! I'm very scared!

Harry: [to Kevin] It's too late for you, kid! We're already in the house! We're gonna get you!

Kevin: Okay, come and get me!

Harry: Why, you...! Now you're dead!

Marv: [climbs in through the window and steps barefoot on the ornaments; screams in pain] I'm gonna kill that kid!

Harry: Marv.

Marv: Harry?

Harry: Why the hell'd you take your shoes off?!

Marv: Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?

Kevin: I'm up here, you butt heads! Come and get me! [they slip on the toy cars] You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more?

Harry: Heads up! [Marv gets whacked by a paint can] Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you.

Marv: Harry! [Harry gets whacked by a paint can]

Kevin: Yes!

Marv: He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him.

Harry: Ah, shut up, will you? What is it?

Marv: Ooh, you're missing some teeth.

Harry: Where? Where? It's my gold tooth. My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him! You bomb me with one more can, kid, and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil!

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergency?

Kevin: [disguising his voice] Help, my house is being robbed. My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy.

Harry: You never know what's up there. There he is! [trips over the wire]

Marv: [jumps over the wire and grabs Kevin by the ankle as he tries to run into the attic] I gotcha! I got him, Harry. I got him. Harry, get up! Give me a hand! I got him! Harry, help me! Get up! I got him. [screams as a tarantula is on his face]

Harry: What are you doing, Marv?

Marv: Harry, don't move.

Harry: Marv?

Marv: Don't... move.

Harry: Marv, what are you doing? Marv... [screams in agony from Marv hitting him with the crowbar to try and kill the tarantula]

Marv: Did I get him? Did I get him? Where is it? Where is it?

Harry: [whacks Marv with the crowbar repeatedly] Never mind did you get it! How do you like it, huh?! You jerk! Get that kid! Go on! Get that kid! Where'd he go?

Marv: Maybe he committed suicide.

Kevin: Down here, you big horse's butt! Come and get me before I call the police!

Marv: Let's get him!

Harry: Wait, wait. That's just what he wants us to do- us to go back downstairs through his fun house so we get all tore up.

Marv: He's gonna call the cops!

Harry: From a treehouse?! Come on.

Marv: Out the window?

Harry: Yeah.

Marv: I'm not going out the window.

Harry: Why, you scared, Marv? Are you afraid? Come on, get out here. Come on. Come on! Keep going. Keep going.

Marv: Let's go back, Harry.

Harry: Shut up. Shut it, Marv!

Kevin: Hey, guys! Check this out.

Harry: Go back! Go back. There he goes! There he is! Get out of the way, you dope!

Marv: There he is!

Kevin: Hey, I'm calling the cops.

Harry: Wait, wait, wait, wait. He wants us to follow him. I got a better idea. Come on. Hiya, pal. We outsmarted you this time. Get over here!

Marv: What are we gonna do to him, Harry?!

Harry: We'll do exactly what he did to us. I'm gonna burn his head with his blowtorch.

Marv: Then we can smash his face with an iron!

Harry: I'd like to slap him right in the face with a paint can, maybe!

Marv: Or shove a nail through his foot!

Harry: The first thing I'm gonna do is bite off every one of those little fingers, one at a time. [Old Man Marley knocks them both down with a shovel]

Old Man Marley: [to Kevin] Come on, let's get you home.

[The sirens on the police cars are wailing outside to arrest Harry and Marv]

Kevin: Wow, this is great.

Officer 1: Nice move. Always leavin' the water running. Now we know each and every house that you guys have hit.

Officer 2: Yeah, you know, we've been looking for you two guys for a long time.

Marv: Yeah, well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits. Wet Bandits. That's W-E-T--

Harry: Oh, shut up! Shut up! Get in the car! Hands off the head, pal!

Officer 1: Come on!

[Kevin waves goodbye and smirks as the police car drives away with Marv and Harry in handcuffs]

Kate: I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

Gus: No, you're not. You're just beating yourself up there. This happens. These things happen, you know. You wanna talk about bad parents? Look at us. We're on the road 48, 49 weeks out of the year. We hardly see our families. Joe over there, gosh, you know, he forgets his kids' names half the time. Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. Eddie... Let's just hope none of them write a book about him.

Kate: Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home?

Gus: No. But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor. All day. All day. You know, when we went back at night, when we came to our senses, there he was. Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse. Now, he was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks, he came around and started talking again. They get over it. Kids are resilient like that.

Kate: You know, maybe we shouldn't talk about this.

Gus: Well, you brought it up. I was just trying to cheer you up.

Kate: Well, I'm sorry that I did.

[last lines; Kevin is looking at Old Man Marley reuniting with his family out the window and they both wave at each other]

Buzz: [off-screen, shocked] KEVIN!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?!

[Kevin, startled, gasps and runs off, and then the film ends. The credits start rolling.]

Taglines

A Family Comedy Without The Family.
When Kevin's Family Left For Vacation, They Forgot One Minor Detail: Kevin. But Don't Worry... He Cooks. He Cleans. He Kicks Some Butt.
This Non-Family Comedy is a Real Scream.

Cast

Macaulay Culkin as Kevin
Joe Pesci as Harry Lyme
Daniel Stern as Marv Murchins
Roberts Blossom as Old Man Marley
Catherine O'Hara as Kate
John Heard as Peter
Kristin Minter as Heather
Devin Ratray as Buzz
Virginia Smith as Gegorette

Kieran Culkin as Fuller
Hillary Wolf as Megan
Michael C. Maronna as Jeff
Angela Goethals as Linnie
Senta Moses as Tracy
Santa
Sandra Macat as Santa's Elf
Terrie Snell as Aunt Leslie
Ralph Foody as Johnny
Michael Guido as Snakes

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

Home Alone

Home Alone quotes at the Internet Movie Database