You know what a future a cop has, Murph? None. You punch a clock for 30 years, retirement, pension... nothin' to do. Drunk at noon, bullet in the brain by evening. Well, not for this kid! The police department's got it all: guns, ammo, drugs, cash... it's a one-stop shopping center. If you've got the balls and the brains, there's not a fucking thing anyone can do about it!
(Buries a henchman in cement) Now we've got a relationship we can build on.
Murtaugh: Riggs, everyone else is outside. Only me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be in here.
Riggs: Nearly a CAT-astrophe, huh?
Travis: Go to hell, Riggs.
Riggs: You first.
Murtaugh:[sees Riggs about to cut the red wire.] Oh! Oh!
Riggs: What? What?
Murtaugh: A minute ago you said blue!
Riggs: Did I say blue?
Murtaugh: Riggs, you said blue!
Riggs: No, I meant red.
Murtaugh: You sure?
Riggs: Well, look, Rog, we can do it your way if you like.
Murtaugh:[yells]MY WAY?! I DON'T HAVE--
Riggs:[whispers] Quiet! I'm sure, okay?
Murtaugh: Ah, shit.
Riggs: You ready? [Murtaugh winces] Rog.
Murtaugh: What? [opens his eyes]
Riggs: Aren't you gonna miss all this good stuff when you retire? Aren't you gonna miss it a little bit? Huh? [chuckles] I'm cutting the wire. [Murtaugh winces again] Snip. [timer counts down faster] See, all done. Rog?
Riggs:[sees timer counting down faster; alarmed] Grab the cat!
Murtaugh: Grab the cat?
Riggs:[he and Murtaugh run from the building]GET OUT OF THE WAY! TAKE COVER![a thunderous explosion blows up the building]
Riggs: Hiya, Hubie! We're lookin' for a friend of yours named Travis.
Hubie: I never heard of him.
Riggs: Never? (jabbing Hubie in the eyes)Errr! Errr! Errr! Wrong answer? Wrong answer? Errr! Errr! Errr!
Tyrone: What the hell! It's Jack Travis!
Murtaugh: That's what I wanted, baby.
Murtaugh: Do you have to solve everything with your fists?
Riggs: Well, I couldn't use my gun, there were people around.
Murtaugh: I knew you couldn't stop smoking.
Riggs: I'm only smoking to take my mind off my dog biscuit problem.
Murtaugh: What dog biscuit problem?
Riggs: Well, I've been chasing more cars lately, and uh, y'know , when I try to lick my balls I keep falling off the couch.
Internal Affairs Guy:I looked at your record for all the chaos and mayhem you cause.
Riggs:No, no, I'm chaos and he's mayhem, we're a double act. [annoyed] What are we, required reading or something?
Lorna: As a matter of fact you are; somewhere between Police Gazette and Mad Magazine.
Riggs: Nice of you to steal that information.
Lorna: Semantics, Riggs.
Riggs: Some antics? I'm always up for some antics!