Lethal Weapon is a 1987 buddy-cop film starring Mel Gibson (as Martin Riggs) and Danny Glover (as Roger Murtaugh) who are partners in the LAPD, working together to solve an apparent suicide and end up uncovering a major drug-smuggling operation.
- Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!
- I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves.
- [holding his wife's wedding photograph, sniffling, after deciding not to kill himself] I miss you... [cries] Victoria Lynn. [sobs, then sighs and sniffles] Hey, that's silly, isn't it? [6 seconds later] I'll see you later. [throws wedding photograph on the floor] I'll see you much later.
- Maybe we'll stay alive long enough for me to buy you a present.
- [Riggs and Murtaugh go to a bust at a "rich house"] Saw this on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.
- Maybe there's an opening in the L.A. Fire Department?
- [after rescuing Murtaugh and Rianne] What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here.
- [just after Murtaugh prevents Riggs from shooting himself] You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!
- [repeated line in all four movies] I'm too old for this shit.
- I was driving before you were an itch in your daddy's pants!
- General McAlister, time for you to die.
- [aiming his gun at McAlister's oncoming car] No way you live. No way.
- [when Joshua is panting on the lawn after the title-fight] Get that shit off my lawn!
- [last lines] I'm too old for this...
- Endo here has forgotten more about dispensing pain than you and I will ever know.
- [stealing a man's car] Mind if I test-drive your Audi?
- [Responding to Scrooge on "A Christmas Carol" on TV] It's fuckin' Christmas!
- Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the shit. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm fucked and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm fucked.
- Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
- Martin Riggs: What?
- Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
- Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
- Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been fucked!
- Martin Riggs: Terrific.
- Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
- Martin Riggs: Hate Him back; it works for me.
- Martin Riggs: What did he mean back there when he said you owed him?
- Roger Murtaugh: We served together in '65. la Drang Valley. Saved my life. Took a bayonet in the lungs.
- Martin Riggs: That was nice of him.
- Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
- Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
- Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
[Riggs and a jumper take off handcuffed on the roof onto an inflatable pad below unharmed. Murtaugh is livid]
- Roger Murtaugh: Okay, clown, no bullshit! You wanna kill yourself?
- Martin Riggs: Oh, for Chriss-...
- Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! Yes or no - you wanna die?!
- Martin Riggs: Oh, I got the job done! What the hell do you want?!
- Roger Murtaugh: JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
- Martin Riggs: Well, what do you wanna hear, man?! Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet?! HUH!? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it?! This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it?! The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!
- Roger Murtaugh: Have you ever met anybody you didn't kill?
- Martin Riggs:: Well, I haven't killed you yet.
- Roger Murtaugh: Well don't do me no favors!
- Roger Murtaugh: Listen, sorry about all that shit I was in your face about earlier... you saved my life. Thank you.
- Martin Riggs: Oh, I bet that hurt to say.
- Roger Murtaugh: [chuckles] You'll never know.
- Martin Riggs: The guy who shot me! The same Albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker!
- Roger Murtaugh: You sure?
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, I'm sure man. I never forget an asshole.
- Martin Riggs: You know they're gonna kill her, don't you?
- Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
- Martin Riggs: So, if you want her back, you're gonna have to take her away from them.
- Roger Murtaugh: I know.
- Martin Riggs: You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you gotta do is just not miss.
- Roger Murtaugh: I won't miss.
- Martin Riggs: We're gonna get bloody on this one, Rog.
- Roger Murtaugh: Are you really crazy... or are you as good as you say you are?
- Martin Riggs: You're gonna have to trust me.
[Endo shocks Riggs with a device]
- Mr. Joshua: Hit him again. [Endo does]
[Riggs groans as his body shakes violently]
- Mr. Joshua: Hit him again. [Endo hits him again for longer]
- Mr. Joshua: Come on! Tell me about the shipment!
- Martin Riggs: [yells and spouts gibberish, then spits at Endo, lunges at Joshua] I swear I'm gonna fucking kill the both of you!
- Mr. Joshua: Yeah, yeah, very funny. Now what about the shipment?
- Culprit: [punches Murtaugh in the mouth] The shipment, Mr. Murtaugh.
- Roger Murtaugh: Go spit!
- General Peter McAllister: Kill the son of a bitch!
- Martin Riggs: Who's fucking next?! McAllister! Who's next?!"
- Martin Riggs: How about it, Jack? Would you like a shot at the title?
- Mr. Joshua: Don't mind if I do.
- Martin Riggs: [real tough] I want your title.
- Mr. Joshua: [smirks] Okay.
- Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs!
- Martin Riggs: Yo.
- Roger Murtaugh: After all we've been through, if you think I'm gonna eat the world's lousiest Christmas turkey by myself, you're crazy.
- Martin Riggs: Well, I have news for you, Rog.
- Roger Murtaugh: What?
- Martin Riggs: I'm not crazy.
- Roger Murtaugh: I know.
- Martin Riggs: Well, good. Let's eat.
- Martin Riggs: Hey, you know what?
- Roger Murtaugh: What?
- Martin Riggs: Well, I think your daughter kinda likes me.
- Roger Murtaugh: If you touch her, I'll kill you.
- Martin Riggs: Ha! You'll try.
- McCleary: Fuck you, I'm jumping!
- Martin Riggs: [Grabs him] Do you really wanna jump? Do you wanna? Well then that's fine with me. Come on, let's do it asshole, let's do it. I wanna do it, I wanna do it!
- McCleary: Wait a minute! What do you mean? What do you mean?
[Both jump off the building and onto the trampoline below.]
- Roger Murtaugh: Oh, shit...
- Martin Riggs: [After landing] You wanna go up again? Let's go again!
- McCleary: *Screaming for help*
- Mel Gibson as Martin Riggs
- Danny Glover as Roger Murtaugh
- Gary Busey as Joshua
- Mitchell Ryan as Gen. Peter McAllister
- Tom Atkins as Michael Hunsaker
- Darlene Love as Trish Murtaugh
- Jackie Swanson as Amanda Hunsaker
- Traci Wolfe as Rianne Murtaugh
- Damon Hines as Nick Murtaugh
- Ebonie Smith as Carrie Murtaugh
- Steve Kahan as Captain Murphy
- Mary Ellen Trainor as Dr. Stephanie Woods (Police Psychiatrist)
- Ed O'Ross as Mendez
- Lycia Naff as Dixie
- Jimmie F. Skaggs as Drug Dealer #1
- Jason Ronard as Drug Dealer #2
- Blackie Dammett as Drug Dealer #3
- Al Leong as Endo
- Jack Thibeau as McCaskey
- Grand Bush as Boyette
- Sally Field as KTLA Reporter (uncredited)
- Burbank the Cat as Burbank the Cat
- Sam the Dog as Sam the Dog
- If these two can learn to stand each other... the bad guys don't have a chance.
- Two cops. Glover carries a weapon. Gibson is one. He's the only L.A. cop registered as a LETHAL WEAPON.