Lupin III

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Lupin the Third

Lupin III(Nihongo: ルパン三世|Rupan Sansei), also written as Lupin the Third or Lupin the 3rd, is a Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Monkey Punch. It follows the escapades of master thief Arsene Lupin III, the grandson of Arsene Lupin, the gentleman thief of Maurice Leblanc's series of novels.

Quotations from the series[edit]

Lupin The Third Part I[edit]

Episode 1, Is Lupin Burning...?[edit]

Zenigata: Lupin, how many years has it been, chasing you like this? It's in my blood. It's my fate. If you weren't the grandson of Arsene Lupin, and if I weren't a descendant of Heiji Zenigata... I'll catch you for sure some day.

Lupin: Well, hello, Fujiko. How are you?
Fujiko: [clothes torn and tickling hands all over her] I'm not exactly tickled pink, Lupin.

Zenigata: You fool! What, do you think you'll stop me?
Fujiko: Not at all. But stay here if you don't want to die.

Episode 2, The Man They Call a Magician[edit]

Lupin: I'm hungry.
Jigen: Sorry, but we only have food for me, not for you.
Lupin: The octopus? Forget about that.

Jigen: Man, this glass sure can be a pain.

Episode 3, Farewell My Beloved Witch[edit]

Lupin: Linda, my sweet!
Jigen: The hell? Did he just say "Linda, my sweet"? I can't do this...

Lupin: "Attack your prey swiftly and disappear like the wind", right?

Lupin: The missile. A nuclear warhead! [Close to tears, he places a hand on the missile] Linda had to die for something as stupid as this. [He quietly weeps into the missile]

Jigen: This is why I keep telling you to be careful of women.
Lupin: I got it, I got it. Don't nag so much.

Episode 5, The Coming of Goemon the Thirteenth[edit]

Lupin: Dang it! Goemon Ishikawa the First was boiled to death! So I figured this Goemon would be weak against fire! That's the whole reason I prepared the fuel! But nooo!
Jigen: Enough with the braying. What are you, a donkey?

Fujiko: Oh, Lupin! I'm so glad. So, are you going to help me?
Jigen: [rolling over on the couch] Hmph! This is ridiculous.

Episode 9, Killer Sings the Blues[edit]

Goemon: He's late!
Jigen: [sulking on a chair and frustratedly throwing darts at a heart-shaped target] Yeah. Late.
Goemon: What could he be doing before a job?
Jigen: Hung up on a woman, most likely.
Goemon: If that's the case, what are you going to do?
Jigen: I've had enough. We're through! [He throws a dart at the door just as it's being opened. Lupin catches the dart in his hand. Jigen brightens] You're late!

Fujiko: What a square.

[Jigen sees Lupin tied up in his underwear with a huge bump on his head]
Jigen: Huh? Where's the woman?
Lupin: She ran away.
[Jigen bursts into laughter]
Jigen: This is priceless!
Lupin: Laugh it up.

Episode 11, When the Seventh Bridge Falls[edit]

[Jigen sneezes]
Lupin: Are you cold?
Jigen: Of course. I wanna get home and take a nice hot bath.
Lupin: Then you better return this.
[He passes the bomb back to the shivering Jigen]
Jigen: Huh? You're heartless.
Lupin: Just do it.
[He pushes the complaining gunman back into the water]

Lupin: She was such a nice girl.
Jigen: [throwing Lupin out of the boat] Go back there by yourself, then.

Episode 13, Beware the Time Machine[edit]

Lupin: [to Jigen] You sure made one sexy maid, too!

Fukuroko: Well, Inspector, would it make you happy if I were Lupin?
Zenigata: Huh? [He bursts into derisive laughter]
Fukuroko: What if I'd switched places with the real Fukuroko when you left the room earlier? [Zenigata stops laughing] And what if all the cops here... [He reveals his own voice]
Lupin: ... Happened to be my men? [Zenigata sees the cops dropping their masks and grinning. He charges forward]
Zenigata: Lupin! [Lupin blows thick smoke from the cigar] Damn it, Lupin!

[Lupin finds Jigen sitting in the middle of a room cluttered with books, perusing obsessively]
Lupin: Hey, Jigen, will you quit this already? Forget about that loon. [Jigen walks off to the side] Hmph. Fine. I'll just take Goemon with me for this next job. Hey, Goemon! Goemon! [To Lupin's chagrin, Goemon appears from the pile of books, likewise perusing the volumes]
Goemon: What?
Lupin: Well now, Goemon.
Goemon: I'm certain I've heard of Kyousuke Mamou as well.
[Lupin goes to the front room, sits down in an armchair and puts his feet on the table]
Lupin: You gotta be kidding me. Mamou, Mamou, Lupin the 13th, the year two-thousand something... This ain't a sci-fi manga.
[Some time later, Lupin sleeps in the armchair. As though in a dream, he hears Mamou's voice speaking to him]
Mamou: Allow me to explain, Lupin. I have conquered the fourth dimension. Behold. With this time machine, I can traverse the temporal plane, past or future. And I saw it. [A frown forms on the slumbering thief's face] I saw my descendants kill your descendants. It all occurs about nine hundred years from now. [Lupin moans softly] Still don't believe me? Then I'll tell you my date of birth. It's November 18th, 1932.
[Lupin wakes up, and sits up in confusion]
Lupin: November 18th, 1932... Yeesh! What a lousy dream. [He goes to the window and stares contemplatively out of it. Jigen and Goemon enter the room]
Jigen: Hey, Lupin, we found it. Listen up. Kyousuke Mamou, a scientist. Sci-fi author and recipient of the Hugo award. His passion lies in the fourth dimension, especially the study of time and space, but he went mad in 1966.
Goemon: While institutionalised in the city's psychiatric hospital, he declared the world was in crisis, and built a time machine, his version of Noah's Ark. He is currently traveling in time.
Lupin: What's his date of birth?
Goemon: Date of birth? Yes, it's here. November 18th, 1932.
Lupin: [smirking] Quite interesting, Mr. Kyousuke Mamou.

Jigen: [to Fujiko] Lupin's in a bit of a serious mood right now. He's up against a man who travels the fourth dimension, one Kyousuke Mamo. We're afraid of him, too. [Lupin flies into a rage and hurls a machete past them]
Lupin: BULLCRAP! Did I ever say I was afraid? Hell no! You think I'd take that lunatic's threat seriously? [He grabs Fujiko] Come with me, Fujiko dear. [He races off down the road with her in his Mercedes to take her on a date and forget about the lunatic]

[Fujiko watches Lupin sitting dejectedly on a hill outside the church]
Fujiko: Lupin...
[Lupin answers with a groan]
Lupin: It's frustrating, but... this is hopeless.
[He trudges over to Fujiko]
Lupin: Fujiko...
[He kneels in front of Fujiko, buries his face into her and starts crying. Suddenly, he hears church bells ringing and gets an idea]
Lupin: Fujiko... marry me!
Fujiko: What?
Lupin: [desperately] I only have three more days. This is my last wish.
[Fujiko blinks, confused]
Lupin: Please. We'll just do the ceremony. Please, Fujiko.
[He beseechingly puts his hands together]
Lupin: Please.
Fujiko: You really love me that much?
Lupin: Yes!
Fujiko: Then... okay.
Lupin: [spirits lifted] Really? Alright!

Jigen: [shaking Goemon roughly] Hey, Goemon! Why the hell didn't you help him?
Goemon: And what exactly did you do to help?
[Jigen, distraught, buries his face in the table]
Jigen: Lupin... Lupin...
Goemon: Don't cry, Jigen. [Despite this, Jigen starts to cry anyway] I'll avenge him.
[Jigen looks up at Goemon indignantly]
Jigen: Idiot! You're too old-fashioned! He's in the Fourth Dimension! The 29th Century! What can an Edo Period guy like you do? If Mr. Edo Period could do something, Lupin would most likely have done something himself.
[He continues crying into the table]
Lupin: [from behind the aquarium] Edo Period, huh? How insightful of you two. You've given me a great idea.
[Goemon and Jigen stare at Lupin in shock. Jigen breaks out into a cold sweat]
Jigen: [eyes streaming with fresh tears] Lupin...
Lupin: Well, you see, I was worried that people would miss me when I was gone, so I hid for a bit. [He chuckles]
Jigen: [angry at Lupin for scaring him] Damn you, Lupin!

Episode 14, The Emerald's Secret[edit]

Lupin: [seeing Zenigata dance with a disguised Fujiko] He's a superb dancer. Very manly, dynamic, simple.

Episode 16, Operation Jewel Snatch[edit]

Fujiko: [to Lupin] Your grandfather, Arsène Lupin, would never let anything slip from his grasp.
Jigen: Can't disagree with you there.

Beaver: The emergency alarm! Call the police!
Jigen: Don't make a racket. [He pushes Beaver so that his rear is stuck to the floor, and tapes his mouth]

Zenigata: Beaver, we know you've been smuggling jewels.

Episode 17, Lupin Caught in a Trap[edit]

Lupin: Oh, come on, Jigen. Don't look so cranky.
Jigen: [defensively] I was born cranky.

Episode 22, The First Move Computer Wins Operation[edit]

Zenigata: [near tears] Damn that Lupin, acting all high and mighty.
Chief: Inspector, calm down.
Zenigata: [anxious] But...

Lupin III Part II[edit]

Episode 1, The Dashing Entrance of Lupin III[edit]

Jigen: [respectfully taking off his hat] These are hard times for innocent bystanders. What kind of amateur are we dealing with?

[Lupin, Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko sit on a raft in the middle of the ocean after the liner meant to trap them sinks]
Fujiko: It's unbelievable. A billion dollars, it's all gone. Sunk in the ocean, for what? All for revenge. What a waste.
Lupin: I just can't get over it. Old Pops, the constant pain in the rear, who hounded me across seven continents, is gone forever. It's really true what they say in the song, you don't know what you got until it's gone.
Jigen: [crossing himself] Everybody's gotta go sometime. It's all just a long goodbye, Lupin.
Goemon: Zenigata is now with his ancestors.
[All four have a moment of silent prayer]
Lupin: [choking up] Poor Pops.
Zenigata: Lupin, you weasel! We had a deal! Get your butt over here!
[The four of them see Zenigata riding a turtle]
Lupin: [relieved] Pops! Is that you? We thought you were dead! Oh, I could kiss you, ya big lug! Let's get out of here, guys! The chase is on again! Woo-hoo!
[The gang paddles the raft to New York City. Zenigata spurs the turtle forward, but it throws him off]
Zenigata: Wait, Lupin!

Episode 2, A Bouquet of Bills Blossoms in Rio's Sunset[edit]

Jail Security Guard: Hey, knock it off in there! That tapping's driving me crazy!
Lupin: Oh, sorry there, pal. But you're not officially crazy until you go... BLEH! BLEH! BLEH!

Episode 3, Hitler's Legacy[edit]

Lupin: [shivering and sneezing] I still don't get why it took you guys twenty minutes to haul me back on board!
Fujiko: Actually, we could've had you out a lot sooner, lover, but everybody agreed that cold water was exactly what was needed to cure your... voyeurism.
Jigen: In fact, we're gonna keep some handy.
Lupin: Very funny.

Lupin: [about Genhalter] The bad news is he's in East Berlin.
Fujiko: What? East Berlin? Isn't that a little ironic?
Lupin: War's over, guy says, "Hey, they may be Commies, but at least they're fellow homicidal totalitarians."

[Japanese original]
Lupin: Maybe I'll just become a little birdie!

Zenigata: [seized by West Berlin police] Hey, get off me! I almost had him this time, but what the hell do you care?! I know, you're only following orders! "Sieg heil!"

Lupin: I oughta take Rip Van Schickelgruber here and throw him back over the wall!

Lupin: Hey, ladies! This way! We got a rich widower with a heart condition!

Zenigata: Now, be a pal and pose with those transvestites. Come on, it's for my scrapbook.
Officer: I'd never do that. I'm a police officer.
Zenigata: Fine, fine, whatever. But don't just stand there like a big stiff. Smile at least, or something. Come on.
Officer: This is my smile.
Zenigata: [dryly] Big surprise.

Lupin: [seeing the report cards] This was his secret stash?! He murders half the world and he's ashamed of this?!?

Episode 4, I Can Hear Nessie's Song[edit]

Goemon: For Buddha's sake, Lupin, have some dignity.

[Lupin sees Fujiko being abducted by Dr. Oz]
Lupin: Fujiko! Fujiko, hold on! I'm coming! [He grabs the oars] Come on, Jigen, we gotta help her!
[He starts rowing at speed, causing Jigen to almost fall out and nearly drop the scotch]
Jigen: Hey, hey, hey! The scotch! Who-o-oah!
[Over on the boat, Fujiko feebly protests]
Fujiko: No! Let go of me!
Dr. Oz: Faster! Let's go!
[Lupin rows frantically, inadvertently tossing Jigen up and down]
Lupin: Fujiko! Fujiko! Fujiko!
Jigen: [simultaneously] Uh! Ow! Oh!
Fujiko: Lupin, help!
[Dr. Oz turns the boat around. Lupin approaches it in the rowboat]
Lupin: Don't worry! I'm coming! Here I am!
[He swings at one of the men and hits him on the head]
Jigen: Hey! Take it easy! I'm getting seasick!
[A wave from the boat capsizes Lupin's small rowboat. Dr. Oz's motorboat drives away]
Fujiko: Lupin!
[Lupin and Jigen lie across the capsized boat]
Lupin: Jigen! Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em!
Jigen: [aiming his pistol] Hang on. I can't get a beat on 'em.
Lupin: Come on! They're getting away! Shoot 'em, willya?
[He impatiently hits Jigen over the head with an oar]
Lupin: Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
[He looks over at Jigen, who is lying, dazed, across the capsized boat]
Lupin: Oops. Sorry, pal.

Goemon: [after saving Lupin and Jigen from being taken out by an assassin] It's a good thing that one of us wasn't sleeping on the job.

Lupin suddenly cries out. Jigen shoves him to the ground as bullets rain over them]
Jigen: Damn it! What in the hell is the matter with you, Lupin?
Lupin: Matter?! What's the matter?! Ask my damn butt!
[Lupin has a bear trap on his behind]
Jigen: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. These guys are good. I mean, well, you know.

[Goemon pulls at the bear trap on Lupin's behind]
Lupin: Ow! Easy, Goemon!
Goemon: Transcend it.
[Goemon pulls the thing free, ripping off the back of Lupin's pants in the process]
Lupin: "Transcend it", my ass!
Goemon: Ah, the old exploding bear trap in the ass trick. [He throws away the bear trap and it explodes]
Lupin: ANYBODY HERE NOT TRYING TO KILL ME?!
Goemon: Sorry.

Zenigata: Yep, that sedative would stop a Brahman bull. Prepare to be roped, tied and branded, little dogie. You can sleep it off on your way to prison, on a nice long flight. Not much legroom, but you won't notice. [He imagines wheeling a suitcase through the airport, with a dazed Lupin crammed inside. Zenigata imagines himself getting out a syringe] A little more? Just say no to drugs, kids. [He imagines himself injecting Lupin with the liquid and the thief passing out/ Back in reality, he searches for where to aim]
Zenigata: Head... neck... shoulder... heart... [He sets the crosshairs on Lupin's navel] Ah, perfect! There we go.
[He fires the tranquilizer dart. Goemon rushes in and deflects the dart]
Zenigata: Huh? [The dart hits Zenigata's forehead] Ow!!
British Officer: You alright, sir?
[Zenigata sits there, stunned. A dazed smile forms on his face]
Zenigata: Yyyyeeeeessss, just fiiine.
British Officer: Inspector Zenigata! [Zenigata yawns] Bloody hell. [Zenigata falls over backwards and passes out] Now what do I do?

Jigen: Uh, Lupin? I take it back. What I said about Nessie.
Lupin: You? Yeah. Gimme a break.
Jigen: No, really. I've been skeptical about the whole thing, but I'm starting to come around to your point of view.
Lupin: Oh, really? And what brought about this conversion?
Jigen: Oh, I don't know. Probably this fifty-foot sea serpent here.
Lupin: Yeah, yeah. Very... [He turns around and finds that Jigen is absolutely correct]

Lupin: Help! I'm being eaten by a quaint folk legend!

Dr. Oz: What a touching tableau. I'm all choked up.
Jigen: Not enough, if you ask me.
Dr. Oz: I'd say that beard disqualifies you from weighing in on matters of taste.
Jigen: Hey! Come on down here and say that!

Lupin: Smart guy like you? You really thought Nessie would be attracted to this tin can?
Dr. Oz: Her mating habits are obscure.
Lupin: I'm guessing yours must be too if you really thought this lame plan would work.
Dr. Oz: You can bait me all you like, but it's all moot since your friend charmed Nessie for me.
Jigen: Thanks a lot, Fujiko.
Fujiko: Don't blame me.
Lupin: It's, uh, kind of funny, you know?
[He and Jigen burst out laughing]
Dr. Oz: What is so amusing?
Fujiko: I happen to have a nice singing voice!
Lupin: It's just that it's not the first of your charms that comes to mind.
Fujiko: Oh God, you're hopeless.
[She knees Lupin in the chin]

Lupin: Fujiko, keep singing! Mother, father, please believe me, every word is true. I just glimpsed a...
[The Loch Ness Monster heads back underwater]
Lupin: Uh-oh, I don't think he likes my rendition very much.

Episode 5, I'll Show You How to Transport Gold Bullion[edit]

Lupin: You keep trying, Pops. At least the law of averages is on your side, if nothing else.

Lupin: Walking all night, starving to death, I can't take another step... Whoa, a restaurant! Woo-hoo!

Episode 6, Is the Leaning Tower of Pisa Standing?[edit]

Lupin: Of course it's leaning, Jigen. It's just, after all that chianti, you are, too.
Jigen: Oh.

Zenigata: Lupin! [He finds he's sitting on a dolphin's back. It dives into the water] Hey! [It dives back out again] Whoa! Cut it out! I'm on official business here! Whoa! [And it dives in and out again] Stop! I'm serious! [And again] I'll get you for this, Lupi- [And again] How do you turn this thing off?

Episode 7, Tutankhamun's 3,000 Year-Old Curse[edit]

Jigen: I know we're superstitious, but are we this superstitious?

Goemon: The sun sets, and the sun rises again.
Jigen: The same sun the Pharaohs worshipped thousands of years ago.

Fujiko: No, you didn't bring out the concubine in me. [Lupin is crestfallen] You were goofy. You should have seen yourself.
Lupin: Damn!

Episode 8, The Venice Superexpress[edit]

Zenigata: Guess we're sharing this compartment. Come on, sit down.
Lupin: Uh, no, man. It's like, you know... later! [He opens the next door, and finds Fujiko changing] Yeah! [She throws her shoe at him]
Fujiko: Dirty hippy!
[Zenigata peers out the doorway of his compartment. Lupin, seeing him, quickly gets up, whistles to himself with feigned innocence and hastily ducks into his own compartment]
Zenigata: I could swear I heard a woman scream out here. [He heads to Fujiko's compartment and peers inside] Excuse me, but I thought... [Fujiko screams and throws her other shoe at Zenigata] Oww. [He reveals a shoe print on his face from where Fujiko hit him]

Episode 9, What Do You Think of the Ukiyo-e Blues[edit]

Sharaku: Water. Please, I...
[He grabs Jigen's scotch]
Jigen: No! Don't you drink that! It's not water, it's...
[Sharaku downs the scotch]
Jigen: Don't you...
[Sharaku finishes the scotch and lies back down]
Jigen: Damn it. Just my luck. This he's got the strength to finish.

Episode 10, Steal File M123[edit]

[Lupin and Fujiko are locked in a basement]
Lupin: Well, the good thing is, I don't think it's Hell.
Fujiko: Not a real far cry, though.

Jigen: You know, you're like a friggin' teenager, Lupin. You gotta grow up, man.
Lupin: [petulantly] I am not like a teenager! You guys suck! Go on, take off. Who needs ya? [He hears Jigen and Goemon leaving] It's not fair! Everyone's being mean to me!

Lupin: [as Zenigata] I'd say the acting's a bit over the top, wouldn't you?
Zenigata: I'm not acting, me!

Goemon: [as Zenigata] Hey! What the hell is everybody doing dressed up like me?

Chief: Mr. Zenigata.
Zenigatas: Yes!
[The chief groans]
Zenigata: Listen, I'm the real Zenigata. I should know who the hell I am, shouldn't I?
Zenigata 2: [Lupin] He's lying, sir!
Zenigata 1: [Jigen] They're all lying!
Zenigata 4: [Goemon] Except for me!

Zenigata: Stewardess! Don't let them on there!
Jigen: How did he get out?

Jigen: [seeing Zenigata on his and Lupin's tail] Butt pain at six o'clock.

Zenigata: Lupin, I know you can hear me.
Lupin: That's a Roger, Red Baron. I'm here.
Zenigata: I know you stole the file from Scotland Yard. Over.
Lupin: Just casing the competition. Over.
Zenigata: You better hand it over. Over.
Lupin: Why don't you roll me in the clover? Over.
Zenigata: YOU GO TO HEEEEEELLLL! Uh, over.

Goemon: So, the belt explodes if I do this?
Lupin: Hey, hey! Not funny.

Lupin: Who wants chicken nuggets!?

Episode 11, Wager on the Monaco GP[edit]

Jigen: Goemon, are you in?
Goemon: Hmm... Why not? I'll give it a try.
Jigen: Are you saying you've never been before?

Lupin: This is just great! After all the work I put into that stupid race tomorrow!
Jigen: It's your own damn fault.
Lupin: I KNOW!!!

Lupin: I can't believe I lost all that money.
Fujiko: Yeah? Well, that was my money, you big dumb jerk!
[She scratches his face]
Lupin: Help! She's gonna kill me!
[He flees down the promenade, with Fujiko in pursuit]
Fujiko: You wish! Killing's too good for you!

Episode 12, A Present for the President[edit]

Zenigata: But I'm telling you, I'm the only one in the world who can capture this guy!
Bordeaux Chief: I know what you are saying, but then why have you not captured him?
[Zenigata hesitates]

Bordeaux Chief: Just follow me, Inspector Origami.
Zenigata: Hey, the name's not Origami, it's Zenigata!

[Fujiko notices Lupin watching her get in the wine barrel]
Fujiko: Grow up, will you? [Lupin giggles. As Fujiko gets into the barrel, she sees Goemon watching her] You, too?
Goemon [guiltily] Uh, me? Uh, I didn't see a thing.

Bordeaux Chief: It's all up to you, Inspector Epiglottis.

Bordeaux Chief: I know my job, Inspector Terra Cotta.

Zenigata: I knew you were settin' me up, Lupin. You had no idea where the bottle was, but I turned the tables on you, Lupin! I had him take me to the wrong place, and now you're hoist on your own whatever you call it.
Lupin: [annoyed] "Petard", it's called a damn petard!

[Lupin is drunkenly driving the gang back to the hideout]
Jigen: You sure you're okay to drive?
Lupin: Oh, sure. I'm fine. Just fine. Little bit of alcohol like that isn't going to affect me.
Fujiko: [sitting in the back with Goemon] Lupin, cut it out!

[Lupin and Goemon are seriously hungover]
Jigen: You guys are a couple of lightweights.
Lupin: Come on, man, keep it down, willya?
Jigen: Ah, geez...
Goemon: You know, just for the record, I've never been hungover from drinking sake.
Lupin': Gee, you think maybe that's cause it TASTES LIKE CRAP?!

Bordeaux Chief: Ah, here you are, my dear good friend and colleague, Inspector Pennsylvania. Mon ami. [He vigorously pumps the hungover Zenigata's arm] Merci. Thanks to you, the bottle is perfectly safe with us. [He slaps Zenigata on the back]
Zenigata: Hey, Lieutenant, you think you can get my name right if I promise not to throw up on your shoes?

Lupin: [in disguise, offering to kiss Zenigata on the cheek] 'Allo! What about me?
Zenigata: Uh, no thanks. Gotta run. Bye!

Zenigata: [to a flight attendant he doesn't realize is Fujiko in disguise, gesturing suggestively] I'll take whateeeever you're serving.
Fujiko: [going behind a curtain] Ugh.
Zenigata: Oh, miiiiss?
Fujiko: [politely] I'll be right back. [to Lupin] Let's get this over with. Now he's flirting with me!

Lupin: [in a note to Zenigata] "Dear Inspector: In recognition of your nearly successful efforts, here's some really cheap crap. HA!"

Bordeaux Chief: You are twice the hero, Inspector Sanitation.
Zenigata: Um, well, I mean, uh...
Bordeaux Chief: Modest, too!

Reporter: Inspector, you know Lupin and his gang better than anyone. Why would they pass up a chance to steal a priceless historical artifact in favor of a crate full of dolls intended as Christmas presents for underprivileged children?
Zenigata: It's really baffling, that's all I can say.
Lupin Gang: What'd he say?!

Episode 13, The Great San Francisco Chase[edit]

Lupin hallucination: Aw, you don't wanna kill me. I mean, that'd just be case of murder-suicide, now, wouldn't it, Pops? [He laughs maniacally]

Lupin: I can't believe we were beaten to the punch like that!
Goemon: You really need to let that go, my friend.
Fujiko: Goemon's right, Lupin. You're really losing perspective here. I mean, we just scored the biggest, most beautiful diamond I've ever laid eyes on.
Lupin: And will you love it as much when it retails for five bucks?

Henchman: [witnessing Zenigata talking in his sleep about Lupin] The boss was right. This guy is seriously obsessed.

Henchman: [smelling Zenigata's breath] Son of a bitch. Smells like something died in here. Guy could use a mint.

Henchman 2: Anyways, all's I'm saying is, great game plan, great team, great execution.
Boss: And, uh, speaking of execution, you know what happens to guys who double-cross me, right?
Henchman 2: Eh, we did it. I swear. Here, look. We even took a picture when we finished.
[He hands the boss the picture. The boss is so shocked his voice slips]
Lupin: Zenigata?! He's the guy??

Goemon: [knocking out the henchmen] They'll be fine... ish.

Lupin: Anyway, we already know where the microfilm is.
Jigen: Hell of a lot of good that does us. Though some fun pictures do come to mind.

Zenigata: [after the psychiatrist uses a bizarre analogy to describe his depression] I suppose I should be flattered by that, but I guess I'm just too depressed.

Zenigata: You're not real... You're not real... You're not real!
Lupin: Yoo-hoo! [He waggles his tongue at Zenigata. The Inspector screams and runs down the street, leaving a confused Lupin standing there]

Jigen: [while driving after Zenigata] He's driving like a friggin' maniac. [An amused little smile spreads across his face] I gotta admit it, though: It does feel kinda nice to be running his sorry ass ragged for a change.

Jigen: Admit it, you were blinded by diamonds and you betrayed us... just like a typical woman.

Lupin: Open wide now, Inspector Sleeping Beauty. [He holds Zenigata's nose. The Inspector sneezes violently, and the microfilm goes flying] What...? Hey! It's not in there! What's going on?
Fujiko: Wh... Wha...?
Jigen: [whistling and pointing to show the direction the microfilm flew in and then pointing to the ocean] Mmm... hm. Ker-plop.

Lupin: So, Pops, I hear you talk about me in your sleep!
Zenigata: Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Episode 14, The Great Caribbean Adventure[edit]

Lupin: Title!

Goemon: When a fever like that proves impervious to every stratagem of Western medicine, it's time for a little Jiryu-toh.
Lupin: What the hell is Jiryu-toh?
Goemon: It's a broth of pregnant earthworms.
[Lupin gags]
Lupin: Oh man, you gotta be kidding me.

Zenigata: Hey, that looked like them! Naw, it can't be. My brain's just rattled from this damn donkey ride. I mean, lots of people go hang-gliding into remote drug cult temples all the time and then... OH! IT IS HIM!

Lupin: You're not fooling me! I saw "The Wizard of Oz" 100 times!
Black Magician: Alright, very well, then. Just trying to have a little fun, for heaven's sakes.

[The ruby has poor Zenigata hypnotised]
Zenigata: My darling, you're so smooth and silky and stuff. Even smoother than mommy, and don't tell her, but I think you even smell a little better. It'll be our little secret...

Episode 15, The Great Detectives Take to the Sky[edit]

[Zenigata rushes to the blimp as the gangway starts to close]
Zenigata: Hey, hold it! I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!
Announcer: And we almost forgot Inspector Zenigata of Interpol.
[Zenigata dives for the steps but misses. He jumps at the gap in between the steps]
Zenigata: Damn it all, I just...
[He lifts himself onto the steps, and they close, almost crushing him]
Announcer: As did everyone else, apparently.

Gabriel: Lupin only has until midnight to steal this treasure. After that, not even the greatest thief in the world could pull it off.
Lupin: [as Sherlock Holmes III] Quite brilliant, really. I must say. It's got me pondering the best orifice for my stamp collection.
Zenigata: Uh... No way. I'm not gonna touch that one. Three hours left.
Gabriel: So, come on. Candyland? Moustrap? Hungry Hippos?

Jigen: [as Archer] Why don't you just slip me a mickey? I mean, you got anything a little peppier? You know, like... [He drums on a bottle and hums a tune before falling over backwards]

Zenigata: Just give it up. There's no way out of this this time, Lupin. We're puttin' you on ice for good and I got your mittens right here. [He pulls out a pair of handcuffs]
Lupin: That's very kind, but you might wanna save those for that cold day in hell when I admit defeat.

Lupin: [previewing the next episode] Oh, man, how did I get so ugly? And mean? Is that really me? Something funny's going on and I don't mean ha-ha funny like this. It's shocking. It's exciting. It's smack-me-up-the-head-and-call-me-Patsy. Catch you later!

Episode 16, The Two Faces of Lupin[edit]

Zenigata: Lupin likes to think of himself as some sort of a gentleman thief. If he says he'll be here at three o'clock Thursday morning, you can count on it.

Zenial: What could you possible want, ma cherie?
Fujiko: To feel loved, of course, mon petit escargot.
Zenial: [confused] Your little... snail?

Lupin: So someone's running around impersonating me. I mean, what's so hard to grasp? I am something of a celebrity, you know.
Fujiko: He dresses like you, he sounds like you, and he's got your fingerprints.
Lupin: Yeah, but he's not as handsome, according to you.
Fujiko: So what? You're a master of disguise, and I didn't say handsome anyway.

Fujiko: Whatever. You guys stick together, and I'll stick to my principles, like not working with killers.
[She leaves in a huff]
Lupin: [frustrated] What a hypocritical bitch! "Principles", my ass.

Fake Lupin: You know, if this was good enough to con a couple of cons like that, we just might win an Academy Award.
Dr. Normil: Uh-huh. I could be Geffen, and you Katzenberg. But right now, I'd suggest that we check on our little Robert Downey Jr.
[Lupin is slumped over the table, motionless and groaning]
Fake Lupin: This I gotta see. How much of that stuff did you slip in?
[Lupin completely passes out, drifting off into a deep sleep]
Dr. Normil: [with a wicked chuckle] Enough. Yes, and he'll have absolutely no memory of anything that's happened.
Fake Lupin: Yeah, or of anything that didn't happen either.
Dr. Normil: [laughing] Exactly!

[Lupin stands on a tire and puts his head in a noose]
Lupin: It's been fun... 'til now.
[He kicks the tire away, but the second he does, a bullet from a revolver cuts the rope]
Lupin: Damn it! Can't a guy kill himself in peace?!?
Fujiko: Sorry, Lupin, but I just can't let you do this.

[Tied to a chair, Lupin suddenly tenses. Fujiko gasps]
Fujiko: It's midnight, right on the dot!
[Lupin writhes in his seat. Fujiko cocks her gun]
Fujiko: Lupin, sorry I have to do this. We'll be together soon.
Lupin: No, wait! It's a... It's a...
[He sneezes]
Fujiko: [relieved] I knew I was right. You're not a killer. In fact, you're even allergic to death.

Lupin: [disguised as Dr. Normil] Aha! There he is! Look!
Zenigata: Give me those. [He snatches the binoculars, nearly accidentally strangling Lupin, who still has the binoculars cord around his neck]

Fujiko: Old Pops is going to be really disappointed, but at least he didn't go empty-handed, you know?

Episode 17, Aim for the Oildollar[edit]

Jigen: Okay, Goemon. You take his right leg, I'll take his left one.
[They grab Lupin, hold him upside down and shake him]
Lupin: Ooh! Ooh! Hey! Guys! Easy! Ow! Ooh! Uh! Ooh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!

[Jigen paces back and forth across the room]
Goemon: We did everything we could. You know that, Jigen.
Jigen: Yeah, I know, I know.
Fujiko: Poor Lupin.
Lupin: [from the bathroom] Oh! Atlantic Ocean!
[He emerges feebly from the bathroom]
Jigen: What happened? Are you all right?
Lupin: Yeah. I'm fine. [He presents the bomb Lawrence made him swallow] But that horse laxative almost did me in.

Goemon: Shut up and have some dignity, for god's sake. [Fujiko blows a raspberry at him] Real mature.

Lupin: What? But, hey! What about all the money?
Fujiko: Hey, I wasn't exactly in a strong bargaining position or anything.
Lupin: Yeah, but, couldn't you... You know...
Fujiko: What, take on the whole group of them in alphabetical order?
Jigen: Well, it's not like it'd be the first time or anything.

Episode 18, The Black Panther[edit]

Lupin: This is great. I mean, this is the ultimate mother of all birthday presents. Can you imagine her reaction when she opens it up? "You're giving me the Black Panther? Oh, Lupin, I love you! Come over here, I want to be your little pussycat!" [He makes kissing sounds near Goemon]
Goemon: First, I'm not a prop for your sexual fantasies. Secondly... [He pushes Lupin away] You don't have it yet.

Zenigata: [showing the hotel clerk a picture of Lupin] This is what he looks like. Well, most of the time, I mean. Sometimes he's a woman, or an eskimo, or... Anyway, have you seen him?

[The gang spies on Conaiseau]
Jigen: It sounds like they're getting ready to hit the road. Yeah, you called it, Lupin.
Lupin: I still can't figure it, though. This guy's nuts. At least with Pops, it's all, you know, pretty damn... predictable.
Zenigata: [suddenly appearing at the window] Well, well!
Lupin: Usually, anyway!
Zenigata: All of you, out of the car now!
Lupin: Well, what can one say to a gracious invitation like that except... Bleh! FLOOR IT!
[The gang drives away]

Naturist Woman: Can't you read? This is a restricted area. Women only. Where's your registration tag?
Lupin: [leering] Gee, I forget. I guess you'll just have to frisk me.
[A woman scratches Lupin's face. He and Conaiseau are chased by a mob of angry women]
Conaiseau: That's no way to charm a lady!
Lupin: Oh, like I'm gonna take lessons from you!

Episode 20, Lupin Up Against the Wall[edit]

Zenigata: [to Lupin] You're coming with me! [Fujiko knocks him out] Ow.
Fujiko: Clumsy me.

Generalissimo Hatler: Mobilize the tanks!
Hess: Ja wohl!
Zenigata: [gagged with tape] Not the tanks, you big gorilla! Can't you see? That's just what he wants! He thrives on chaos!

Zenigata: [through his gag] See you later, Lupin! You'll be hearing from me!

Lupin: I'd been meaning to ask you: How'd that flesh wound of yours heal up?
Fujiko: I'm as good as new.
Lupin: Really? Ooh... [He takes a look between Fujiko's breasts] I'll just...
[Fujiko yelps and slaps Lupin.]
Fujiko: Lupin!
[The young man careens down the hill in his wheelchair]
Lupin: Whoooooa! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, noooooooo!
[He passes Jigen and Goemon. Goemon rests by the trunk while Jigen is on one of the branches. Lupin continues screaming in the background]
Jigen: Hey, we've done all we can for the guy.
Goemon: He's on this own this time.
[Lupin bumps along the dirt path, yelping. Zenigata approaches in his path]
Zenigata: Whoa, what's that? [Lupin speeds uncontrollably in his direction] Hey, wait a minute!
Lupin: I can't stop!
[Zenigata runs towards Lupin]
Zenigata: It's Lupin! [He decides it's a good idea to run back in the other direction] Hey! Whoa!
Lupin: Pops! Wait! Please help me!
Zenigata: Hey! Get away from me! [Zenigata runs down a hill shoulder with Lupin bouncing close behind] Get away from me! What are you doing? Let go of me!
Lupin: Help! Help!
[They crash into each other and fall over]

Episode 23, Witch of the Fourth Dimension[edit]

Chief: Well, give my regards to Speed Racer. I bid you adieu.
Zenigata: [into his hat] Penis!
Chief: Pardon?
[Zenigata turns and hits his head on the door]
Zenigata: Ow. Must have caught a cold or something. [He feigns another sneeze] Asswipe!

French Taxi Driver: Who are you?
Zenigata: [sarcastically] I'm Jerry Lewis!
[He hijacks the taxi]
French Taxi Driver: You've lost weight!

Zenigata: I'm a very grumpy guy.

Jigen: Hey, Goemon.
Goemon: Yes? What? Well?
Jigen: It's Fujiko. She wants to talk to Lupin.
Goemon: Uh-oh.
Jigen: I know. I'm afraid just hearing her voice. It's gonna be enough to make him jump out the window or something.
Lupin: BANZAI!
[a glass window breaks]
Jigen: You know?

Bujiko: Now here's a map, whether you believe it or not. I think it's in some kind of code.
Lupin: That looks like... hieroglyphics!
[Remembering the curse of King Tutankhamun, Lupin becomes very frightened]
Bujiko: What the...? [She tenderly touches Lupin's chin as he trembles] You know, I don't understand what you're saying to me, Lupin, and that really ticks me off.
Lupin: It's the curse of King Tut. I already did that one!
Bujiko: But it's kind of cute, you know?

Episode 24, The Phantom Thief Nezumi Kozō[edit]

Lupin: Okay, so who've you ticked off?
Goemon: No one.
Jigen: [to Lupin] He's got a point. I mean, you're the annoying one on this team.

Goemon: Huh? There's a light on. This guy's brazen.

Rat Boy: And I didn't just bathe in there, either.

Goemon: What's this?
Rat Boy: Well, with books, it usually helps to open them up.

Goemon: Whoa, what's all this?
Rat Boy: Well, it's your ancestor, Goemon the Tenth, having a bad hair day, apparently.

Rat Boy: If that doesn't tell you how close they were, then maybe I could draw you a picture.
Goemon: Uh, no, that's alright.

Zenigata: Holy crap, where is he, damn it all?! [He opens the door, smashing the Chief] Chief, are you here?!

Chief: Cause if we do fail... It's... [He makes a throat-slicing motion and a gagging noise]
Zenigata: Don't worry about it, Chief. This one's a no-brainer.

Jigen: [bursting into Lupin's room] Hey, Lupin, we've got a problem. [To his dismay, he finds the young man snoring away in bed] Oh, man. Look at him. [He opens the curtains, then shakes Lupin gently on the shoulder] Hey, buddy, get out of bed. It's lunchtime. [Lupin sleeps blissfully on] Wouldn't you know it? Dead to the world. I swear to God, this guy could sleep through World War friggin' Three. Sorry, man, but I'm afraid you leave no alternative. Gotta bring out the heavy artillery. Hey, Fujiko! Put on some clothes!
[Lupin wakes up immediately. He springs out of his bed, inadvertently throwing his duvet over Jigen]
Lupin: Huh?! Where?! Tell me! Come on!
Jigen: [throwing the cover off] She's not here, Lupin.
Lupin: What the-? Hey! That's low! I'll get you. Just you wait.

Jigen: Hey, hey Romeo. We only got till tomorrow at noontime.
Lupin: Thanks, mom. Don't wait up for me now. I can let myself in.

Officer: This guy was drunk and disorderly, Inspector. Put up quite a fight on the way here.
Zenigata: THEN LOCK HIM UP! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, MAKE YOU A POT OF COFFEE?! GO ON! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Ratboy: [to his mouse] Okay, Liza. Make me proud.

Ratboy: [in disguise, while in the men's room] Uh, well, I, uh, thought I smelled gas...
Zenigata: Oh, yeah?
[He slowly approaches Ratboy, who stands there, terrified. Then Zenigata laughs lightly]
Zenigata: Well, doesn't that, you know, sorta come with the territory?

[Jigen is woken by the sun's glare]
Jigen: Crap! [He checks his watch] Huh? How the hell did I sleep so late? Damn it. Some kind of a lookout. I must be getting old, or something. [He hears Lupin's laughter behind him] Lupin! Listen, man. I have no idea know how this happened. I mean, one minute, I'm scoping out the plaza down there, and the next thing I know...
Lupin: [calming him down] It's okay. Ratboy's been working for us all night.
Jigen: What? The rat? Working for us?
Lupin: Yeah, and he's not half bad, either. I mean, you know, for a super-annoying, ugly little pimple-beaked freakazoid. So, that crate pretty comfortable?

Lupin: [laughing at the ridiculous situation while also hearing Ratboy's laugh] Oh, brother. Does he always laugh like that?
Jigen: I'm afraid so.

Episode 25, The Coming of the Iron Lizards[edit]

Jigen: Uh, Lupin?
Lupin: Yeah?
Jigen: Knock, knock.
Lupin: Who's there?
Jigen: Land shark!

Lupin: [disguised as a guard] Admittedly, it's all a bit Coyote and Road Runner, but it works.

Fujiko: Quit staring down my slip and pull me up!

Zenigata: Well, at least he's alive. Thank goodness for that.

Episode 26, The Rose and the Pistol[edit]

[Jigen starts after the woman's kidnappers]
Lupin: [pinkies cuffed] Hey, Jigen, wait! Give me a hand here!
Jigen: Damn, how the hell did that happen?
[Lupin struggles with the cuffs, which are being held on a long piece of twine by an unconscious Zenigata]
Jigen: Look, handle yourself. I'd better go.
Lupin: Hey! Get back here! [He goes over to Zenigata and fishes for a keyring. He finds to his disappointment that there are lots of keys]

Lupin: I don't dare set foot outside wearing this fleschuganah thing on my pinkie! I mean, what if it's some weird code that says I wanna get spanked by a skinhead or something?

Episode 27, Find the Cinderella Stamp[edit]

Jigen: [while Lupin and Fujiko argue with Alice] OK, now, children, let's just...

[Alice pretends that Fujiko is her mother, so the police ask her to come with them]
Jigen: Call me when you're done, uh, darling.

Lupin: This is bad for our reputation. I mean, if anything, she kidnapped us!
Jigen: Well if you ask me, I'm not sure that's much better for our reputation.

[Jigen pistol-whips the officers holding Lupin]
Jigen: Leave this to me. You go get the girl.
[Lupin runs off down the street after the girl, and Zenigata runs after him]
Lupin: ALIIICE!
Zenigata: LUPIIIN!

Episode 29, Electroshock Pigeon Tactics[edit]

[Lupin's car is out of control]
Jigen: Slow down, would ya?
Lupin: I can't!
Jigen: What do you mean, you can't?
Lupin: Hey, the friggin' brakes are out!
[He presses on the brakes to show Jigen]
Lupin: See?
Jigen: What? Well, don't just tap'em!
Lupin: I'm not just tapping! Look!
Jigen: Then how come it's not stopping?
Lupin: Because... the brakes... ARE OUT!

Jigen: Call me superstitious, but next time you're thinking about that broad, don't actually say her name out loud, okay?
Fujiko: [from down below] Lupin!
Lupin: Huh?
Jigen: No!
Lupin: Hey!
Jigen: Don't say it!
Lupin: It's Fujiko!
Jigen: Aw, crap.

[Zenigata sees Lupin and Jigen floating in mid air]
Zenigata: GOOD GRAVY!
Baron: Let me see!
[He looks through the telescope]
Baron: Ah, you see? Just as I told you. Hmm...
Zenigata: It's the damnedest damn thing I ever saw in my damn life!

Baron: They're falling... They're thrown clear of the car which explodes... when then, they gently float down to earth, bobbing just over the water like pixies.

Fujiko: Will everything be... Well, you know, intent?
Doctor: Ah, yes, I assume you refer to his hoo-hah.

Lupin: Her dot... and his dot... are like one big happy dot!

Fujiko: [tossing the bubble maker up and down in her hand] So tell me, did you invent this, or did you steal it?
Lupin: Well, I guess that depends on which one would really impress you.
Fujiko: I guess... I'd have to say if you invented it.
Lupin: [leaning in for a kiss] Okay, then let's just say that I invented it, shall we?
Fujiko: [holding up the pin-like tracking device Lupin planted in her hair] Okay.
[She pops the bubble she and Lupin are in. Lupin begins to plummet towards the ocean and frantically claws at the air. Fujiko grows a new bubble for herself]
Fujiko: Then you can just make yourself a new one.
Lupin: But, Fujiko...!
Fujiko: [mockingly] What? You didn't lie, did you?
Lupin: Of course I diiiid!
[Zenigata waits beneath Lupin as he plunges in his direction]
Zenigata: Don't worry, Lupin! I'll catch you!
[He grins eagerly]
Lupin: MOMMYYYYY!
[As Lupin nears the ocean's surface, Zenigata leaps out of the ocean at him]

Episode 30, The Winds of Morocco are Hot[edit]

Lupin: Listen, Commander, I really wish you all the best with this big bloodbath of yours, but, unfortunately, I'm not going to be sticking around.
Foreign Legion Commander: Ah, I understand. Well, it's up to you. But I should warn you, the only way out of here is up those steps over there.
[He points to a guillotine. Lupin grimly imagines himself being beheaded]
Lupin: [in his imagination] Help me! Ahh! Help! Help me, please! I really don't wanna die! Help me, please! Please, stop! I'm too young to die! And too handsome, and charming, and...
[Back in the real world, Lupin continues to stare at the blade]
Foreign Legion Commander: But, hey, if you have to go, you have to go. I totally respect that.
Lupin: [hopefully] And you're sure that's the only, only way? There's no, like, camel taxi or anything?

Foreign Legion Commander: Such petty rivalries are nothing but a bourgeois luxury, which the true revolutionary must abandon. Plus, I hate you.

Lupin: Damn. I haven't felt so trapped and helpless since the last time I went to Disneyland. But at least when I was at Disneyland, nobody ever forced me to share a teacup with Goofy.
Zenigata: You'll be sharing a cell with rats when I get you back to Japan!
Lupin: Yeah, well, be that as it may... It'll be the land of the setting sun for you if you stick around here and end up in the middle of some revolutionary uprising.
[He imagines himself and Zenigata clinging to each other in the middle of a battlefield, then imagines himself crying over Zenigata's grave as the Inspector floats away as an angel]
Zenigata: But... What about my poor mother?!

Zenigata: [holding Lupin lightly by the back of his jacket] I got you right in the palm of my hand. And I'm not lettin' ya...
Lupin: [pulling himself free] No wonder you never caught me.

Foreign Legion Commander: [attracted to a disguised Zenigata] What would I have to pay for her?
Lupin: Trust me, you don't want her.
Foreign Legion Commander: Why not?
Lupin: Uh, well... I mean, it's just... [Zenigata makes a show of cuddling up to Lupin] You know... I love her so much. [He fake sobs]
Foreign Legion Commander: Alright, get going.
Lupin: Thank you. What a nice man.

Episode 31, Shoot Into the Midnight Sun[edit]

[An exhausted Zenigata knocks on the door of a Swedish police car]
Zenigata: Zenigata, with Interpol. Would you give me a lift?
First Swedish Officer: Ja, sure.
Zenigata: I'm beat. [He gets in] It's ten o'clock. Why is it still light out?
First Swedish Officer: We have a thing here called the midnight sun, and it...
Zenigata: THAT WAS RHETORICAL! THE POINT IS, I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A WEEK!
First Swedish Officer: Ah, well. Here, try this eye mask.
Zenigata: Oh, yeah? Huh. [He ties it around his face, then yawns]
Second Swedish Officer: [not realizing Zenigata is already asleep] I'm guessing you got some tip about Mr. Lupin.
Zenigata: [startled] ARGH! WHERE? DAMN! LUPIN! [He holds up his hands] Whoa! I can't see! What's goin' on?! Hey! Is it... the apocalypse?
First Swedish Officer: It's just the eye mask. You're fine.
[Zenigata pulls up the eye mask]
Zenigata: [sheepishly] Uh... I knew that. [He looks out the back window] Damn midnight sun's a menace!
[He clears his throat and pulls the eye mask back down]
First Swedish Officer: So, what's Lupin doing here?
Zenigata: Well, it isn't really that clear yet. Could be, he's trying to make his way to the North Pole. Yep, it's the closest place to the old midnight sun this time of the year. He'll blast off in a rocket ship and steal it, I tell ya. I just figured it out. He's gonna steal the sun, mama, so he can get away with everything. [The officers exchange confused glances] But I'm not gonna care at all, 'cause it's gonna be... so dark.
[He yawns loudly. The officers shrug. Lupin and Jigen approach the car]
Jigen: Is that Pops in the back seat, blindfolded?
Lupin: Sure looks like it. Poor guy just can't seem to catch a break.
[He gets out a cigarette and goes up to the officers]
Lupin: Hi. How's it going, guys? Mind if I borrow your lighter for a second?
Second Swedish Officer: There's no smoking in our town.
Lupin: [reaching in through the back window] Ah. It slipped my mind.
[He and Jigen walk away laughing. Zenigata wakes up suddenly]
Zenigata: Hey! Wait a minute! Lupin did it! Seen that everything's all dark!
Second Swedish Officer: Inspector, take off your mask.
[Zenigata does so]
Zenigata: I didn't... talk in my sleep or anything, did I?
Swedish Officers: [as Zenigata rubs his eyes] Not a word.

Goemon: So then, what's the plan?
Lupin: What the hell do you think? Plunder.
Goemon: Because?
Jigen: Huh?
Lupin: Just think of the consequences if we didn't do it. One of those girls is going to die, and do you want that on your conscience? I know I don't and... Uh, well...
Goemon: Go on.
Jigen: And because... it's what we do.
Lupin: Uh, yeah.

Lupin: [still digging] 'Cause that was different... The curse was on that mask, so I totally understood... But this is just crazy. I mean, don't come crying to me when I'm sitting on the biggest...

Episode 32, Lupin Dies Twice[edit]

Fujiko: Come on, Lupin, please just let him catch you this one time.
Lupin: So, I guess this means we're going to be giving up together.
Fujiko: It does?
Lupin: Sure! That's the power of love.
Fujiko: I, love you?
Lupin: You see?
Fujiko: I'm not fooling around.
Lupin: 'Cause this is all you need.
Fujiko: You're gonna need a doctor.
Zenigata: [feeling like he's having to come between a pair of squabbling children] Just shut up, you two! Both of ya!

Lupin: [on the phone] And the inscription on the headstone should read: "Here lies poor Lupin, Fujiko-less. At least if she visits, he can look up her dress."

[Zenigata and Fujiko rush to the morgue]
Zenigata: Chief! Fill me in! What have you got here?
Chief: Well, sir, we got a DOA [meaning "Dead on arrival"]. And we got his partners here waiting to be interrogated.
Zenigata: Hold on! Are you saying Lupin's deceased?! Do you think I was born yesterday or something?! Huh?! THE ONLY DUMMMY AROUND HERE IS THE DOA!
[Zenigata, Fujiko and the chief enter the morgue]
Zenigata: [scoffing] The old coffin gambit, Lupin? Come on, you big con artist. [He waves his handcuffs] Alright, open 'er up.
[The mortician opens the coffin. Lupin lies inside, motionless and pale]
Zenigata: That's our guy!
Fujiko: No!
Zenigata: Hey, Lupin! Get up! Come on! Hey, Lupin! Cut it out, willya? Come on! [He shakes the thief's head] I'm not kiddin', Lupin! This isn't funny! [He starts crying] Damn it, Lupin! It can't be true!
Chief: Inspector, please, maybe you should control yourself.
Zenigata: [sobbing] You can't really be dead! I never told you this before, but I love you! What am I gonna do without you? You're my whole reason to live! How could you do this to me? I hate you! No, I don't! I don't! I'm sorry! [He rubs his tear-streaked face against Lupin's] Please don't leave me, Lupin!
Chief: [placing a comforting hand on Zenigata's shoulder] It's alright, Inspector.
[Zenigata furiously handcuffs the officer, then, sobbing hysterically, tears out of the building, firing his pistol into the air]
Zenigata: Puma! I'll get you, you son of a bitch!

[Zenigata is arrested]
Zenigata: Hey! Wait, I ... [The officers throw him into cell with Jigen and Goemon] Ow.
Jigen: Yo, Pops!
Zenigata: Yo yourself, you damn bastard! I oughta...
[He tackles Jigen]
Jigen: What the... hey!
Zenigata: What the hell kind of a partner are you anyway? How could you just let him go and die like that?!

[Lupin lies in his casket. Six feet above him, we hear the voices of the mortician and Fujiko]
Mortician: It should be wearing off by now.
Fujiko: And you're sure there's no chance he could have suffocated?
[Inside the casket, a light turns on. We hear Lupin's heartbeat steadily growing louder]
Mortician: A body in this kind of suspended animation requires very little oxygen.
[Lupin exhales, then opens his eyes]
Fujiko: You'd better be right about that.

[Lupin's casket is unearthed, just as the drugs he needed to fake his own death have worn off]
Lupin: Mommy. [He yawns] What a nap.
[Fujiko lifts off his casket lid and greets him with a knowing smile]
Fujiko: Are you all right?
Lupin : [sitting up with a rose in his hand and an amorous expression on his face] You tell me. [He leans in to kiss Fujiko, surreptitiously placing the flower into her shirt, and she slaps hm] Hey, what the hell kind of greeting is that? I mean, especially after that touching tribute that I gave you on my headstone.
Fujiko: [sarcastically] Yeah. Real romantic.
[Lupin takes a look at the headstone]
Lupin: [forgetting part of his phone conversation with the mortician] Hey! That's just crass!

Lupin: I wanted to see that face. Just once before I say... Hasta la bye bye!

Episode 34, Lupin Becomes a Vampire[edit]

Lupin: [stealing a gold statue] I'd like to thank the Academy and all the little people who made this possible, especially a certain Inspector... [He stops short when he sees a large black wolf in front of him] Uh... You don't really want me. I just wet myself.

[Jigen and Fujiko are hanging up garlic all over their hideout]
Goemon: Oh, come on, guys! This is the pits, literally. I mean it's starting to smell like Pavarotti's armpits in here.
Jigen: Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that, pal, but when it comes to vampires, I don't take any chances.
[He gives Goemon a chained cross]
Jigen: I mean, I know your family's been Shinto for like ten generations...
Goemon: Longer.
Jigen: But that doesn't mean crap to a vampire.
Goemon: You know, there's something very offensive about that.

Fujiko: [as a storm rages on mount Onihime] No way to get up that mountain tonight. Only an idiot would dare to attempt it.
[Cut to Zenigata clutching onto a steep mountainside in the pouring rain]
Zenigata: What the hell am I doing up here?! I'M SCARED OF THUNDER! I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!

Jigen: Wait a minute, Lupin, you were bitten by that bitch, weren't you?
Lupin: Something... [He takes off his fake neck] ... just happened to come between us.

Zenigata: Feel kind of cheesy about this. Last time I prayed, it was for a two-wheeler.

Episode 36, Expose the Secret of Tsukikage Castle[edit]

Jigen: But a loon like that, I mean, this treasure could turn out to be a bunch of sumo wrestler bobblehead dolls or a big ball of tinfoil, y'know?
Goemon: It's possible. But it's said that among his possessions was a sword, called Tsukikagemaru.
Lupin: I have no idea what that means, Jigen...
Goemon: I just explained that to you, it's a sword!
Lupin: ... But it sounds important to him, so whaddya say?

[Lupin sits at the table trying to decipher a code while the blinded Jigen rests in the mattress and Goemon sits at the table with Lupin, trying not to fall asleep]
Lupin: Let's see, I've tried adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing... I don't know, what else can you do with a number? [He yawns and falls on his back] Truth be told, math was never my best subject. I was always more of a... [He yawns again] ... More of a recess kind of guy.

Fujiko: Hard at work, I see. So, how's it going?
Lupin: Not well at all.
Goemon: Because you are not trying.
Lupin: Hey, you're sitting there like a Buddha! I'm working my ass off!

Zenigata: A flying crow will always... Uh, never mind.

Zenigata: Who the hell's the new woman in your gang?! I thought you only had eyes for Fujiko!
Lupin: I swear, I don't know what you mean!
Zenigata: You can't fool me, Lupin! I just saw Fujiko in Tokyo, vamping some rich stud.
Lupin: What? What? But, but, uh...!

Jigen: Hey, don't blow a gasket there, Pops!
Zenigata: I'll blow whatever the hell I want to! [He gets hit in the head by a falling gold coin. He catches it in his hands as he lies on the ground] Hey, wow!
[More gold coins fall on top of him]
Lupin: [pouting] Aww... it's just not fair.

Episode 37, Find the Treasure of Genghis Khan[edit]

Lupin: It's really not over 'til the fat lady sings. [He jumps off the roof] And I don't mean you either!

Priest': Hey! Get off my bike!
Zenigata: Shut up!
Priest: Don't tell me to shut up!
Zenigata: I'll tell you whatever I want to!
Priest: Oh, yeah?!
Zenigata: Yeah!
Priest: You shut up!
Zenigata: Shut up!
Priest: You shut up!
Zenigata: You...!

Episode 40, Operation Missilejack[edit]

Security System: Please state today's code phrase.
Chief: [in a completely serious tone] I want my daddy and mommy, I'm scared and I want to go home.
[Lupin, who is disguised as the Chief's pet tiger, looks up at the Chief in confusion and astonishment]
Security System: Voice print code and phrase confirmed.

Fujiko: [running a finger around Zenigata's face] I've been having the naughtiest dreams about you, you know that? And you know what I'm doing to you in those dreams? [She rips the plaster off of Zenigata's nose] This!
[Zenigata screams through gritted teeth. Around a corner, Lupin tries to stifle giggles]

Episode 41, Find Princess Kaguya's Treasure[edit]

Fujiko: You ever heard of anything so ridiculous in your life? [She sees Lupin staring deliriously ahead and gibbering with Kaguya's bottle resting on his tongue and hearts in his eyes] Ugh. Ask a stupid question.

Kaguya: Nice little streak, but all good things come to an end.
Jigen: Well, if the end I'd be coming to is yours, then hey, count me in.

Fujiko: Now it's a dragon's liver. What is she, some kind of refugee from a friggin' fairy tale? Well, she'll regret not inviting me to the ball.

Jigen: Here, mer-y-mer-y-mer-y maid. I don't even know what any of these damn things is supposed to look like.

Jigen: [seeing the mermaid] Is that a shark? If it is, it's got a great rack.

Fujiko: Now, for the last time, do you want to know where Lupin is or not?
Zenigata: Of course. I flew all the way over here, didn't I? Start talking.
Fujiko: The Himalayas.
Zenigata:... The what?
[Out in the Himalayas, Lupin walks up the mountain with his guide, merrily singing]
Lupin: Edelweiss, edelweiss, you look happy to greet me. Edel- uh, uh... [He sneezes]

Goemon: [exiting a dragon's mouth, carrying its liver] Wait a minute. Did I leave my wallet in there?... Crap.

[Lupin charges out of the tent, swinging a baseball bat. He swings at the yeti, but it dodges, and Lupin falls on his face in the snow. He swings again and again at the yeti, but it backs away and keeps dodging. He falls into a snowdrift and swings the bat around blindly]
Lupin: Where'd you go, you son of a bitch?! You can't hide from me!
[He hits the yeti's leg. It cries in pain. Lupin looks up out of the snowdrift and beams triumphantly]
Lupin: [mockingly] Not so scary now, are you, you big ape? Aww, you want your mommy? Big wussy. Look at you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
[A tear forms in the yeti's eye]
Lupin: [realizing he's not using the right tone] Uh, no, wait, I mean... That's wrong. [He holds out the bottle to the yeti's eye] Just let it out, baby. No need to be stoic. That's right. You have yourself a good cry. Come on. It's all right. [Several frozen tears fall into the bottle. He looks at the frozen tears] Wow, that's not really a whole lot. Might have to hit you again. [The yeti bawls. An avalanche starts, and Lupin runs down the mountain] Damn it! Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone?!

Jigen: Hey, so what happened with the whole retreaty fasting thing?
Goemon: Uh, well, I got hungry, and... Hey, I'm stuck out here. Could you give me a lift?
Jigen: Hop in. I'm in sort of a hurry.

Kaguya: [seeing the frozen Lupin] What happened? Is he...?
Sherpa: He'll be fine. But he said to give this to you. [He hands Kaguya the bottle with the frozen tears in it]
Kaguya: And you're sure that these are the tears of the Yeti?
Sherpa: I saw it. And the curse of the Yeti came down on him swiftly.
Kaguya: That's so... sweet.
[She kisses Lupin on the cheek. The young man blushes so furiously that steam rises from his head and shoulders]

Goemon: [seeing the frozen Lupin] That can't be comfortable.

Jigen: Hey, I know you guys think I'm a misogynist, but it's not exactly a red-letter day for your side of the argument.

Lupin: [after being thawed out on a spit] Just great! You think you know a guy, then you turn around and he tries to eat you!

Lupin: Wow, a real sleeping prince... just like Tchaikovsky's!

Lupin: [about Kaguya] Goemon, look, I know she lied to us and everything, but come on. Cut her a break. Have a heart.
Goemon: I'm not angry with her, it's that damn Fujiko I want to kill!

Lupin: Hey!! Fujiko!!
Fujiko: Lupin, I can't share it with you! I don't know if there's enough for two!
Lupin: I don't want any! Do you know what it is?! Do you?!?
Fujiko: Yeah, an eternal youth potion of some kind. Why else would she want it?
Lupin: You idiot! Kaguya had that created for her very sick husband! He's in a coma!
[Fujiko gasps, horrified, at the terrible thing she's done]

Lupin: Yeah, it sucks being deceived like that, but at least it was all for a good cause.
Goemon: Yes, well, perhaps that is true, but still, the act of betrayal by Fujiko was unforgivable and merits the very harshest punishment.
Jigen: Here, here!
Fujiko: Lupin, I think he really means it!
Lupin: She's sorry! Really! She's learned her lesson this time, haven't you, Fujicakes?
[Fujiko starts hiccuping, then flaps her arms uncontrollably. The potion has given her an unbelievably high amount of energy, like a caffeine buzz]
Lupin: Uh...
Jigen: It's not real harsh, maybe, but it sure as hell's funny.

[Lupin is in his hotel room, sleeping peacefully. Fujiko pounds on his door]
Fujiko: [from outside] Lupin! Come on! I still can't sleep! Hey, come on! Wake up! Hey, Lupin! Open the door!
[Lupin sits up in bed]
Lupin: Aw man, when the hell's this potion ever gonna wear off?
Fujiko: I know you're in there! Let me in!
Lupin [burying his head back under the covers] I'm too tired to appreciate the irony.
Fujiko: Come on, Lupin!

Episode 42, Lupin becomes a Bride[edit]

Fujiko: I never thought of you as the golddigger type, but it suits you somehow.

Zenigata: Looks like it's just you and me. [Lupin jumps over the railing, does a somersault in the air and grabs the hook to swing to the other side of the hull] LUPIIIIN! Damn it all, get back here! You're under arrest!

Onabes: Alright, I warned you, Mr. Zenigata. Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you leave the ship.
Zenigata: [as he is dragged away by security] No! Mr. Onabes! Please! Hey! I can explain! This is all her fault! I mean, his fault! You see, she's...

Onabes: Amore!
Lupin: What does that mean?
Onabes: It means: "I want you, I must have you! Let me take you and start a family!"
[He tackles the flabbergasted Lupin]
Onabes: I absolutely refuse to let you up, Miss Mary, unless you promise to marry me!
Lupin: WHAT? That's impossible!
[Onabes forcefully kisses Lupin]
Lupin: Damn it!
[He slaps Onabes, then flips him over in a judo grip]
Lupin: Just snap out of it!
Onabes: Oh yes, flip me like a hamburger, baby!
[Lupin covers his mouth and flees]

Lupin: I'm not even a friggin woman!
Onabes: Oh well, nobody's perfect.
[Realizing he can't win, Lupin jumps down from the mast and lands on the deck. His makeup is now a mess]
Lupin: All right! You win! I give up! But premarital sex is out of the question!

Jigen: He's a guy, Lupin, and you're a guy! And if you were that kind of guy, well, you could have friggin' told somebody!

Episode 44, The Vanishing Special Armored Car[edit]

Lupin: [as Zenigata] I do admit to sort of a perverse admiration.
Zenigata: Admiration, my ass! Why don't you just admit it?! You ARE in love with the guy! And you always have been, haven't you? You big egomaniac!

Jigen: Friggin' birds can't get close to that thing, and I don't think I can pull off the backless look, either. I mean, not that it doesn't look absolutely stunning on you or anything, but it does take a certain androgynous quality, you know?
Lupin: I swear, I'll beat you with your own hat. [Jigen laughs]

Lupin: Man, sure could have used Goemon's Zantetsu sword this time, huh?
[Jigen sees a figure sitting on a crate]
Jigen: Hmm?
Lupin: I said, Goemon's sword would have come in handy!
[Jigen recognizes the figure as Zenigata]
Jigen: Huh?
Lupin: I know, it's a bummer, but it's no use crying over spilled milk. We just gotta...
Jigen: Lupin! You'd better get up here!

Zenigata: What's the matter, Lupin? Don't tell me I've stumped ya! I don't think I can take the shock! [He laughs, then starts suffocating]

Lupin: Yeah, that man's the last of a dying breed, Jigen.
Jigen: You can say that again.
Lupin: Kind of like u... ah... ah, ah, ah... [He sneezes]
Jigen: Serves you right. I mean, uh, didn't your mama ever tell you not to go out without your pants on?
[Lupin sees he's only wearing his boxers]
Lupin: Oh, man.
[They laugh]

Episode 48, Lupin Laughs while the Alarm Bell Rings[edit]

[Zenigata is woken by the telephone and answers it]
Zenigata: Zenigata.
Lupin: Hey, man. How's it hanging?
Zenigata: I was just...
Lupin: I refer to that big wad of drool hanging from your chin, you slacker. Then again, in your dreams is the only place you'll ever catch me.

Lupin: [sneezing] You know, I think the whole thing went pretty well.
Jigen: [sneezing] And that was really the best plan you could think of?
Lupin: Gotta keep your eye on the prize. After all, the whole idea was to divert his attention. Remember that. And that's what counts.
Goemon: Because now, Zenigata's gonna be practically living on that boat until they recover our bodies.
Lupin: Exactly. [He sneezes again]

[One of the money bags gets stuck in a pulley]
Jigen: Son of a bitch. Wouldn't you know it? Last one?
Lupin: Stay cool, man. We'll get it. Easy does it now.
[As they try to get the back through, one of the suction cups on the ceiling comes loose]
Jigen: Damn piece of crap.
[The suction cup unsticks, but Lupin and Jigen pull on the rope before the bag hits the floor. They sigh with relief]

Zenigata: [fearing the worst about Lupin] Good heavens, what have I done?

Lupin: [previewing the next episode] Next time I fall in love with Jackie O. Or maybe not. I don't know. My head hurts. It kind of looks like her and sure looks like love. Walking in the rain, putting on a little show for perverts with binoculars. Oh, he's not? He's trying to kill me? Actually, you know, that kind of adds a touch of kink. Anyway, catch you later in Snake Charmer.

Episode 50, Lupin Whom I Loved, Part 1[edit]

Cornelia: The constellations of the winter sky are dominated by the brilliant and dynamic figure of Orion. Legend has it, he was a powerfully built young huntsman of exceptional skill, whose love for the daughter of the treacherous king nearly spelled his doom.
[As the audience the planetarium in rapt attention, Lupin sits in his seat, bored out of his mind and nearly falling asleep. He yawns]
Lupin: If only Fujiko were here. This would be a very romantic date, but... Oh, well. It oughta begin in a minute.

Jigen: So, did you have the beef or the fish? That's what you get for being the inside man.

[Fujiko sees a flame beside her as she's driving and tries to light her cigarette with it]
Fujiko: Thanks.
[She turns around and sees that it was a zombie who lit the flame]

Lupin: Our hearts were beating like crazy.
Jigen: This before or after you left the cell?
Lupin: Just let me finish, willya?

Lupin: I don't know which is worse, that she's alive and doesn't remember me, or that she's here.

[Japanese original; Jigen gives up fighting the zombies and makes a run for it]
Goemon: Jigen, where are you going?
Jigen: Don't make me say what would hurt my pride!
Goemon: Are we running away?
Jigen: What choice have we got?

[English dub]
Goemon: Jigen, wait! Where are you going?
Jigen: I have absolutely no friggin' idea!
Goemon: You mind if I come along?

Episode 53, The Mad Fantoma Mark III[edit]

[Lupin and Jigen stand face to face in their living rooms, hands at the ready]
Lupin: So, this is it, huh? It's come to this.
Jigen: Yep. 'Fraid so, Lupin.
Lupin: Think you can take me on?
Jigen: You said it yourself a million times, Lupin. I'm the quickest draw on the planet.
Lupin: Next to me, that is.
Jigen: Oh, man, this will be sweet.
[Goemon gives the signal, and the two draw their remote controls. The TV switches back and forth between footage of a soap opera and what looks like Django]
Goemon: I think we really need to get a second TV.
Lupin: Hey, I've never missed a single episode of Housewives Theater in fifteen years and I'm not starting now.
Jigen: That's too damn bad, pal. There's a first time for everything. Anyway, it's Spaghetti Western Sunday on Channel 5.
[Lupin and Jigen continue switching between channels]
Jigen: Dang!
Lupin: No, no, there it is!
Jigen: We're watching this!
Lupin: Hey! No!
Jigen: Would you come on?
Lupin: There!
Jigen: What are you...?
[The TV goes to static]
Lupin: No!
Jigen: What the...? Oh, that's just great.
Lupin: Stop it! Wonderful. Now look what you've done.
Jigen: Yeah? You started it.

Episode 58, The Border is the Face of Farewell[edit]

Zenigata: [with a tear in his eye] These Russkies aren't very friendly, are they?

Lupin: [previewing the next episode] This next one's just too weird for words. It's sort of 'Twilight Zone' meets 'House of Wax' meets an exhausted writing staff under deadline pressure.

Episode 59, The Mysterious World of Madame X[edit]

Zenigata: [covered in glue] Mother said there would be days like this. Just not this many. Good thing I'm so undauntable, 'cause this kind of thing could really drive you crazy!

Jigen: Something's not right.
Goemon: It just isn't like him.
Jigen: I know. It's been two days now without even a word, and usually the problem is you can't shut him up.

Lupin: That crazy lady's gonna turn us all into wax figures. Even Fujiko. They got her upstairs, locked up.
[His eyes fill with tears]
Jigen: Hey, don't! Come on! Get a hold of yourself.

Zenigata: Bet you haven't even tried the most obvious thing.
[He reaches for the doorknob]
Lupin: No! Hold it, Pops! Wait!
[Zenigata turns the doorknob and starts to sink into the floor]
Zenigata: Help me! Please!
Jigen: What the hell's going on here, Lupin?
Lupin: Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens all the time around here. She's like some kind of evil witch.
Jigen: [lifting Zenigata out] That's just great. Either of you guys wanna lend a hand?

Lupin: Uh, Goemon?
Goemon: You need to remain calm.
Zenigata: All right, you guys calm down. I'll freak out!
[He runs away]

Episode 61, The Flying Zantetsuken[edit]

Lupin: [tipsy on bourbon] Come on, you knew we were drunks when you married us!
Jigen: [also happily wasted on the bourbon] You know the truly great part? I don't care if I ever get better!
Fujiko: [smiling craftily] Don't you tempt fate. It can be cruel.

Zenigata: [answering the phone] Good morning. Zenigata speaking. WHAT?! IN A HOTEL IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!
Lupin: [disguising his voice with an accent] The point is, he's here now. Aloha.

[Goemon tries to hang and shoot himself at the same time]
Lupin: No, Goemon, stop!
Jigen: Take it easy, man.
Goemon: She may have put the sleeping pills in the drink, but it was I who kept asking for more. And now the sword, my very soul as a samurai, is gone!
Lupin: I egged... you on!
Goemon: It doesn't matter! The responsibility is solely my own! Don't force me to live in shame, Lupin! That's worse than death to me! [He sobs]

Zenigata: [while visiting Goemon in jail] Goemon, I don't know what's bugging you, but you haven't eaten for a week and that's not good for ya. I went to a lot of trouble to get that Japanese food brought in here. Please! Tell me you're not trying to starve yourself. That would be really bad for your health and my conscience.

Lupin: Hey, uh, Goemon? You know, technically, boneheaded stunts don't count as harakiri.

Episode 62, The Sound of the Devil's Bells Call Lupin[edit]

[Zenigata sees Lupin exit carrying a bunch of weapons]
Zenigata: Uh, listen. Uh, you'd better come along with me right now.
Lupin: Pops, I can't play right now. Sorry. Gotta go. Take care.
Zenigata: Wait! Lupin! Hey!
[Lupin springs into his Mercedes]
Zenigata: Not so fast, wise guy! [He launches himself at the car and throws his handcuffs forward. As Lupin drives off, Zenigata finds that he's handcuffed several sticks of lit dynamite. He realizes what it is and runs off] Help! Somebody help!
[The dynamite explodes as Lupin drives off down the road]

Lupin: So that's it, Gemarschaft. Looks just like any other peaceful, boring village. [He drives further into the seemingly empty village, gets out and looks around] Hmm, did I say peaceful? More like comatose.

Lupin: I gotta admit, I did have an unusually peaceful sleep last night. [He pulls out a pair of earplugs] Modern technology's really a wonderful thing.

[Sister Lavinia seemingly shoots Lupin's head off, and to her surprise he starts running off without it]
Lupin: Sorry, sister. Didn't mean to lose my head. Toodles!

[Lupin blasts the bubble with a couple of missiles from his Mercedes]
Lupin: And that is that. [To his astonishment, the bubble reforms] Aw, man. That may not be that.

Lupin: Okay, pal. Catch me if you can. [The bubble emerges underwater] Damn! I didn't mean it!

Lavinia: So, Lupin, do you see now that it's futile to try to escape from here?
[Lupin stands up in a daze and knocks on his head several times]
Lavinia: Last chance, now. Would you care to accept our invitation and join our brotherhood?
[Lupin scowls defiantly]
Lupin: You heard me, sister. No-one's gonna tell me how to live my life.

Jigen: Why do I feel like I just had a real bad dream?
Lupin: Hey, Jigen, I was living in your bad dream.

Episode 65, Lupin's Enemy is Lupin[edit]

Lupin: Anyway, we'll find out as soon as we break in there.
Jigen: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah. Great plan. We break into the place. Don't know why I didn't think of that.
Lupin: This from a man who just came from dining on curry fit only for the immortals. We're blessed. It'll be a piece of cake.
[Jigen laughs]

Jigen: What the...? Where did my hand go?
Lupin: [panicked] Your hand?!
[Jigen's hand emerges from its sleeve]
Jigen: [relieved] Had me worried there.
Lupin: [angrily punching Jigen in the stomach] Jigen, don't you ever do that to me again!
Jigen: Sorry, man.

Mr. X: Damn it! How did you know I wasn't the real Lupin?
Jigen: 'Cause the real Lupin would never say something all sappy and noble like "Kill me if you're my friend." He'd be squealing for his life like a little girl.

Lupin: [imitating Mr. X] And our long story comes to a happy ending! [He cackles]
Jigen: [drawing his gun, thinking Mr. X tricked him into killing Lupin] Bastard!
Lupin: Kidding! Kidding! Just messin' with ya!

Episode 66, Shooting Orders![edit]

Jigen: Speaking of accuracy, I noticed something about that gun that Beauty was waving around yesterday. It's got a venturi built on it, and that's used for cooling the barrel so that the heat won't affect your aim. It's state of the art. Your Walther P-38 was originally manufactured all the way back in the 1930s. All I'm saying is, Beauty's got a .44 Colt A. Python that was made only a few years ago, and that's the difference. You do the math, Lupin.

Lupin: The sun, it's setting. [He coughs] Seems kind of early for it. But I guess it's... [He coughs again] ... Just my time. [He faints]
Fujiko: [thinking he died] No, it isn't, Lupin! It's not your time yet!

Lupin: Listen to you guys! Bitch, bitch, bitch! Look at me! What the hell's going on? I'm fine, so what's with the funeral? Well?!

Jigen: Was it, uh, supposed to work like that?
Lupin: I'm not a chemist or anything, you know, but I think I might've added a little too much explosive. Probably shouldn't do that kind of thing when you're in a bad mood.

Episode 69, The Woman the Old Man Fell in Love With[edit]

Zenigata: Some billionaire bites the big one, so what? Would he care if I died?

Lupin: Hey, guys. Shouldn't we be out stealing something, or running for our lives, or, uh... I dunno, something? I feel like I'm in a rest home here.

Lupin: Whoa! Get a load of this! It's Pops, and he's being chased by somebody. And there's a girl with him, and she's hot! What the hell is wrong with this picture?
Jigen: Well, if you're right, it's the end of the friggin' world!

[Japanese original]
Lupin: By the way, Pops, how come you're going out of your way like this for her?
Zenigata: Well, it's because...
Lupin: You're in love with her, aren't you?
Zenigata: [blushing furiously] D-d-don't be ridiculous! I'm a public servant!
[He gives Lupin a playful shove. Lupin points to Laura]
Lupin: [grinning mischievously at Zenigata] There she is!
Zenigata: [bashfully covering his face with his hat] Oh, come on, Lupin!

Fujiko: Lying on that alleviates your stomach thing?
Cabane: I didn't get to where I am today by taking a lot of stuff for granted. Get what I mean? I ain't movin' until I unlock this!
Fujiko: What a big pain in the butt.
Cabane: Hey! Speak up, I can't hear you!
Fujiko: Oh! Uh, never mind. Just some girl stuff, is all.
[The camera pans down to reveal that "Fujiko" has hairier legs than usual]

Jigen: Pops. I... We tried. I'm sorry. Anyway, Lupin's alive. Look, if you wanna get those bastards, hop in.

Goemon: I, Goemon Ishikawa, say to you: Ha ha!

Episode 71, Lupin vs. the Shinsengumi[edit]

[Lupin drives past a police car, laughing. The police officer notices him and turns to Zenigata, who is resting in the front passenger seat]
Police Officer: The guy in the convertible that just went by seemed kinda strange.
Zenigata: Let him go. I'm not in this one.
[He gives his colleague a little smile, then yawns]
Police Officer: 'Kay.

Episode 72, The Skateboard Murder Mystery[edit]

Jigen: You didn't... I mean, you wouldn't...?
Lupin: Aw man, you too? Look, I friggin' saved the guy!
Jigen: Yeah, good luck convincing Boronco's men of that.
Lupin: [grumbling] D'ah, friggin... d'ahh! [He sees the blockade] Hey, they've already blocked the street off! Hang on, Jigen!
[Lupin swerves through the blockade, but one of Boronco's men fires a couple of canisters of knockout gas into the car]
Lupin: I always thought I missed my true calling as a stunt driver in action movies, you know? [He sees Jigen coughing] Huh?
Guard: Well that oughta knock 'em out.
[Boronco arrives in on his skateboard]
Bolonco: How'd everything go, Officer?
Guard: Just like a dream.
[Boronco goes over to Lupin and Jigen, who are completely knocked out]

Lupin and Jigen: [playing a clapping game] Eighty eight days now in the spring, summer's upon us so everyone sing: Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can!
[They push the halves of the truck apart and dive out of it]

Jigen: Huh. I never heard of a football coming with a timer. [He places the football to his ear] Hmm...
Goemon: Jigen! They don't!
Jigen: [panicked] Friggin' hell! That means that this thing... This thing here is a...
[The football explodes]
Lupin: Damn! That's it! That little Boronco brat has picked the wrong playmate this time!
Goemon: If you keep thinking of him as just as a kid, then he's gonna keep on playing with you until he wins!

Scientist: Excuse me, Boronco, but this is the fake sapphire you ordered.
Boronco: There's no way he could have...?

[thanks to Lupin and Fujiko's squabbling, the group ends up losing the Eye of Solomon]
Goemon: I'm reconsidering my membership in this whole enterprise!
Jigen: Can you reconsider mine, too?

Zenigata: Stop! You're under arrest, Lupin! You hear me? Just pull over now... Or not! I gotta admit, I really love the chase.
Lupin: I sure wish he'd reconsider his role in this whole enterprise.

Episode 73, Flowers and Storms and a Thieves' Race[edit]

[Lupin throws his empty food box out of the car]
Jigen: Hey, hey! Set an example, will ya? There's kids watching.
Lupin: What are you saying? I put it in the trash.
[Lupin's trash is seen carelessly disposed on top of a garbage truck]

Tokumitsu: Tokumitsu here, reporting live from the scene of the crispy carnage that earlier today thrilled audiences around the world. And a spellbinding barbecue it was, too. Oh, but don't just take my word for it. We have a badly wounded survivor of the tragedy with us. Perhaps I can get him to talk to us. Pardon the interruption, but on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, how much pain are you in? [The wounded man gives a dying groan] Well, thank you very much, and best of luck from all of us on your imminent death.

Jigen: All this co-piloting's kinda exhausting. Think I'll take me a little nap. You can wake me up when we get to heaven. And if we end up in the other place, just let me sleep.

Episode 74, The Terrifying Chameleon Man[edit]

Lupin: [about the diamond] Now I can't seem to decide if I should let Pops lick this thing or not.
Fujiko: Can we vote on it?

Lupin: [playing cards with a dozing Jigen] Pathetic. Can't even beat him asleep.
Goemon: [waiting for the mysterious lurker to arrive] I think we may be waiting for Godot.

Fujiko: Buy a Q-tip, will you? That's really gross. Better luck next time.
Lupin: Huh...? Of all the friggin'... Earwax?!? [He sits on his bed, angrily pulls off his shoes and tosses them out the room, inadvertently hitting the two chameleon men]

Lupin: It's alright, it's just a party favor. Happy New Year.

Jigen: [while watching Zenigata chase after insects] Real shame you had to whittle down that diamond. It's three months of bug-eating for him.
Goemon: I don't know. I think he enjoys feeling like a kid again.
[Lupin walks by covered in yellow flowers, humming to himself]
Jigen: Hey, what's with the Woodstock get-up, nature boy?
Lupin: Shh! It's just camouflage. Don't tell her, okay?
[Lupin lies down on the ground and hides among the flowers, waiting for Fujiko]
Goemon: [sighing] He never stopped being a kid.

Episode 75, Fujiko Doesn't Look Good in a Wedding Dress[edit]

Fujiko: Lupin, it's me. What the hell's going on? Where am I?
Lupin: Finally! Damn, you're a heavy sleeper. What do you mean, where are you? You're in Hafner's mansion.

[During a gunfight, Jigen gets his hat shot off]
Jigen: Damn it!
[He tries to retrieve it but a hail of bullets keeps him away]
Goemon: Sorry, but you're going to have to finish this one without your hat! Now come on!
Jigen: They've got no idea what terrible fury they've just unleashed...

Jigen: Great. Friggin' chlorine's gonna bleach my hat.

Fujiko: I'm still in mourning, you know. And I've got assets to go through.

Episode 76, Do You Know Shakespeare?[edit]

Jigen: Yeah, just my luck. Snow in Venice, of all places. I'll bet the sun comes out the minute I drag my sorry ass out of here.
Angelica: Excuse me, are you all right?
Jigen: Yeah, I always talk to myself.

Jigen: Turns out the car was hers. A nice one. A Rolls. I mean, I owe her something for blowing it up.
Goemon: I can't help feeling there's more to the story.
Lupin: [grinning mischievously] And we got a whole lot of extra time. Come on, Jigen. Cough it up.
Jigen: [shyly] It's just... Look, I've told you the part I'm okay talking about.

[Angelica searches the ruins and starts off at a run]
Jigen: Hey, Angelica, wait! Where are you going? [Angelica sees bodies crushed beneath the rubble]
Angelica: Oh, God... It's too horrible! [She runs through the ruins]
Jigen: [deeply concerned and afraid for Angelica's life] Wait! There may be unexploded bombs! Angelica, please stay where you are! Angelica, listen to me! It's not safe! [Angelica doesn't listen to Jigen and keeps running] Hey! Just come back! You'll get hurt! [Angelica accidentally steps on a bomb. Jigen runs towards her] Angelica! Angelica! Damn it!
[Angelica opens her eyes]
Angelica: Don't swear.
Jigen: Why would someone like you ever become a nun anyway? Gotta help me with that. I mean, as I recall, your family was loaded. You were practically royalty.
Angelica: Well, it's only fair I tell you, since you influenced my decision. But I'm happy, believe me. After you left, I was empty. So I devoted myself to God. Now I'm finally feeling his promise of peace has fulfilled in me. I'm in your arms again. I lived to see the doctor rescued. May you know peace, Jigen, my love. [She dies in his arms]
Jigen: No! Angelica!
[He cradles her body, sobbing]

Zenigata: Sorry, sir, about your game.
President: Bugger off.
[the President and his assistant enter the helicopter]
Zenigata: [confused] Uh, you just... [They slam the helicopter door] You go on ahead, sir. I'll take care of everything.

Jigen: [at Angelica's grave] All my skills, and I couldn't save ya. I'll have to live with that, but I doubt I'll come to any kinda peace with it. Pray for me.

Episode 78, Diamonds Gleaming in the Robot's Eye[edit]

Lupin: [drowsily answering the phone] The number you've dialed is no longer in service. Check your telephone directory or the information operator for the correct number and go to hell. [He hangs up, but the phone rings again and falls off the dresser. Lupin slithers out of bed and lies half out of it with his mouth near the reciever] You've reached Lupin's mouth. His brain is still asleep. Oh, then you prefer to speak to somebody else? Okay. JIGEN!! PHONE!! IT'S FOR YOU!!!

[Lupin, Jigen and Goemon carry the robot up the stairs]
Jigen: I don't get it. None of Gavott's people seem to be anywhere around the place.
Lupin: Got a problem with that?

Lupin: I mean, even if a thing like this worked, what would anyone use it for? You wouldn't happen to have a giant paperclip on you, would you? [He tests it] Not much of a super electro-magnet.

Jigen: Huh. "Dr. Pot's Patented Automatic Nose Blower. To activate, just hold in front of face." [A tiny hand comes up out of the box] Hey, get a load of this. It's cute. [The hand picks up a tissue and pinches Jigen hard on the nose] Oww! Ahh! Gahh! Damn it! [He pulls the box to try and get the thing off]

Baby: And just 'cause Gavotte let the doctor go doesn't mean he isn't gonna rub you guys out. [to Jigen] And you, I'm gonna pluck that beard off your face myself before he kills ya!

Lupin: [about the dismantled robot] Well, why don't we get to work on old Humpty Dumpty?
Fujiko: That doesn't sound good. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.
Lupin: Don't worry. I've done this twice before.
Goemon: You've assembled a robot?
Lupin: Nah. A ship and a tank.
Fujiko: A ship and a tank?
Goemon: That's really quite impressive.
Lupin: Yeah, used to spend all my allowance on those hobby kits of model ships and tanks.
Goemon: Huh?
Fujiko: You mean you've been talking about model airplanes and toys?
Lupin: [after completing the robot] Sure. Keeps a young man's hands out of trouble.

Episode 79, Funeral March for Lupin[edit]

Jigen: [hearing that the concert will have a jeweled baton] You know, Lupin, I don't know if I've told you, but I've been a big classical music fan ever since I was a kid.
Lupin: What? You've always been a ballads kind of guy.

Lupin: [nervously twiddling his thumbs] I never told you about this, Fujicakes, but I very nearly took up the bassoon.
[Fujiko blows smoke in his face]
Fujiko: And I very nearly took up with a baboon.
[She throws her cigarette holder into Lupin's mouth]
Lupin: Very funny.

Lupin: [to Jigen, who is snoring in the seat next to him] Didn't you mention you were a fan of all this classical crap?
[Jigen nods sleepily. Lupin yawns and dozes off as well]
Fujiko: [to Goemon] But they could stay up all night for some kung-fu epic.

Lupin: Looks like Pops is getting serious.
Jigen: Better hope so, 'cause if that ain't serious, I don't know what serious is.

Zenigata: [after his hypnosis is over] Huh? Why the hell'd I pull this out?

[Goemon notices the couch he damaged while under hypnosis]
Goemon: What in the world did I just do?
Jigen: Nothing, just tried to Cuisinart us to death, pally!

Lupin: [about Kyoransky] Does he replace all those chandeliers every time he kills somebody?

Fujiko: [finding that Lupin had secretly removed her underwear] Stupid adolescent...

[Lupin is about to explain his plan to defeat Kyoransky]
Lupin: Anyway, take a look at this.
[He pulls out a ladle]
Jigen: Okay, I don't understand.
Goemon: It's a straining ladle for cooking.
Jigen: I know that, but what are you gonna do? Challenge Kyoransky to a bake off?

Kyoransky: My father was Momanitt Mulchy. When he was alive, he was a master jeweler. But you killed him in cold blood.
Lupin: I only kill in self-defense, which means I don't regret it.

Lupin: You see, I figured out how it is you managed to control with that glittering baton of yours. It emits a high-pitched sound, like a dog whistle. But, you see, the thing is, yours only produces a single tone, whereas mine, on the other hand, has, um... One, two, three... Boy, there's a lot.

Zenigata: You wanna fill me in on what just happened here?

Episode 80, The Last Meal is a Cup Ramen[edit]

Goemon: How come grifters never think they'll get grifted?

Lupin: Who put all this pepper in here?

Warden: After him! Lupin has escaped! Don't let him get away!
Zenigata: [gleefully sarcastic] Yes, what a shame! Lupin has escaped!

Episode 82, The Rescue Pops Operation[edit]

Zenigata: Damn it, Lupin! I'm going to get killed because of you. I'm totally going to haunt you.
[Lupin turns on a transmission]
Lupin: I don't mind being haunted by a cute girl. Not sure about you, Pops. And I really feel for you guys, having to take care of a klutz like Pops!

Zenigata: Lupin! Do you want to make a fool out of me, Zenigata? I absolutely refuse to be exchanged as a hostage by the likes of you!
[He kicks stuff around like an angry toddler. He finds a stick of dynamite that rolled out, then picks it up with his teeth and throws it into the fireplace. The terrorists panic and run for cover. Zenigata stands in the middle of the room, eyes shut tight, sweating profusely and bracing himself for death. No explosion comes. Zenigata's still alive. He looks behind his shoulder and sees that the dynamite was actually a dud with a microphone hid inside. One of the terrorists faints. The men angrily pile on Zenigata as he sinks, crying, to his knees]
Zenigata: Shut up!
[He kicks them away]
Zenigata: I'm such a failure, I can't even die properly!
[He cries and kicks his feet pathetically]

Napoleon: The reason why I decided to conquer the world was that it was too noisy for me to sleep in. [The gang looks at him, shocked] Quite ironic that I found the ideal place in that underground prison.

Lupin: [tapping the face of Napoleon, who is disguised as him] Wow, what a heavy sleeper.

Lupin: [disguised as Napoleon] Inspector Zenigata, why don't we make a deal? I hate Lupin for putting me through this. How would you like to capture him yourself?
Zenigata: I'll take you up on that offer!
[He rams into Lupin and shoves him into a bush]

[Zenigata sees the helicopter exploding in the distance, as Lupin, who is disguised as Napoleon, stands next to him]
Zenigata: L... Lupin...
Lupin: What's the matter? Aren't you pleased?
Zenigata: [sniffling] I'm sad because a good man has died.
Lupin: A good man?
[Another explosion occurs. Zenigata breaks into a run]
Zenigata: Lupin, if you're alive, let's fight again.
[The smoke from the wreckage billows out. Zenigata stops suddenly. Lupin runs up beside him. As the musical cue 'Zenigata March' plays in the background, Zenigata stares in disbelief. He starts to cry and sinks to his knees]
Zenigata: L... Lupin... We were on different sides of the law, but I liked you.
[He collapses and beats the ground, sobbing. Lupin smiles warmly]
Lupin: [in thought] I like you, too.

Jigen: Love isn't allowed in a man's world.
Lupin: Come on, Jigen, don't be so mean.

Episode 84, Leave Revenge to Lupin[edit]

Jigen: [answering the phone] Huh?
Joe of Spade: Jigen! I'm being chased! Help me! This is Joe!
Jigen: Joe? What's the matter? Where are you?
Joe of Spade: I'm in Maria's restaurant.
[Joe's two pursuers kick the door open. Joe draws but isn't able to fire. He backs away in terror]
Jigen: [over the phone] Joe, answer me! What's the matter with you, Joe?
Male voice: [over the phone] Go to hell, you idiot!
[From over the phone comes the sound of gunfire]
Jigen: JOE!
[Jigen's panicked cries wake Lupin, who sleepily shuffles out of his room, clutching a pillow. The international thief and criminal looks profoundly innocent standing in the doorway like this]
Lupin: Jigen, what's going on?
Jigen: Damn it, my hero's going to get killed.
Lupin: [half-asleep] Huh...?
Jigen: He's a man named Joe of Spade... Lupin, will you go to Marseille with me?
[Lupin responds with a loud yawn]
Lupin: It's the middle of the night...
[Jigen carries Lupin over his shoulder into the Mercedes and drives into the night with him in the front passenger seat]

Chief: Lupin III is a thief who was born in France. He has a clear head, and he's the grandson of Arsene Lupin. He's bound to be patriotic.
Zenigata: Yes, he may be, slightly...

[Lupin appears in Joe's teleporter. His hair crackles with static and he wears a dazed expression]
Joe: Lupin! What are you doing here?
[He curiously walks over to Lupin to closely inspect him. The young man rolls out, curled up in a tight ball, in the middle of the room. Slowly, he unfolds his legs, then his arms, rolling onto his back, and then a sitting position. He sets his head straight, then pinches his cheek, then his nose, then his ears, then feels his eyes, his head and chin, squishes his cheeks, feels his mouth, and finally slaps his face before shaking his head. He sits, still in a daze, and blinks. He looks around]
Lupin: Oh, Joe! That means the electric waves have successfully transmitted me!

Episode 87, When the Devil Beckons to Lupin[edit]

[The gang finds Lupin lying asleep in the middle of the road]
Fujiko: [cradling him] Lupin! Hang on!
Goemon: There's only one way to wake up from hypnosis. [He kicks Lupin squarely in the behind]

Peter: Have you even met the Gestapo? They're devils. They're barely even human!
Lupin: [jokingly] I thought you were the devil.
Peter: Shut up! Give me the diamond!

Lupin: Stop it, Peter!
Peter: Welcome, Lupin. I'll kill you along with the rest.
[He gets out a lighter. Lupin pulls out the Dragon's Tear]
Lupin: So you don't want the Dragon's Tear?
Peter: I have no need for that. From the beginning, all I wanted was to kill every one of those bastard Nazis.
Lupin: [drawing his Walther] I can't let you do that!
[They pause for a long time. Peter nears the lighter close to the fuse. Lupin shoots it away, then shoots one of the ropes. One of the stakes goes flying and impales Peter. The horrific sight causes Lupin to avert his eyes. The balloon floats away with Peter still impaled on the stake. Lupin and his gang sadly watch the balloon]

Episode 89, Play the Thieves' Symphony[edit]

[Fujiko has seen Lupin dozing in his seat while listening to Beethoven's Eroica]
Fujiko: Lupin, since when were you a fan of classical music?
Lupin: Well, Eroica is a good lullaby, you know?

Jigen: [muted] Goemon, what's going on?
Goemon: [muted] I don't know, but there are fleas around. I feel itchy.

Lupin: It's a silencer that silences all sound! Now we're almost in the nuclear safe.
Jigen: Anyway, you can take a bath now.

Jigen: Hey, why don't you go out for a walk? Huh? [Lupin ignores him] I guess not.

Jigen: No matter what kind of art it may be, I don't appreciate it.

Lupin: Pops?
Zenigata: Don't call me "Pops". I'm not your relative, Lupin.

Zenigata: [mouth full of balloon] Wawawd! I wiw wewwewew wis.

Lupin: Music isn't all about ballads.

Episode 97, Find the Treasure of Lupin the First[edit]

[While Lupin is kissing Fujiko, he swallows something]
Lupin: Did you just feed me something?
Fujiko: [coyly] You're right.
Lupin: [giggling] It's a potency drug, right?
Fujiko: It's the opposite.
Lupin: The opposite?
Fujiko: It'll make you sleep like a log.
Lupin: Sleep like a...
[He tumbles out of the bed and passes out]

[Lupin, Jigen and Goemon are handcuffed to a tree branch by Zenigata]
Lupin: Hey, Zenigata, what are you going to do with us?
Zenigata: I'm not going to do anything.
Lupin: You're not going to do anything? What do you mean? Why won't you arrest us?
Zenigata: According to the findings from the ICPO investigation, three men suspected as killers are riding the airship Paradise, which is on a goodwill mission. One of the men is from America, one is from Britain and the third is from the USSR. And the target seems to be you, Lupin the Third.
Lupin: Thanks for the information. But Pops, why are you going out of your way to help us?
[Zenigata says nothing, but turns and silently walks away. He stops suddenly]
Zenigata: I heard they have strange killing techniques. Be careful.
Lupin: Now I understand why you showed us your capture technique.
Zenigata: [suddenly acting like a tsundere] You idiot! What kind of policeman would do such a thing?... Good luck anyway.
Jigen and Goemon: Good luck?
Lupin: [smiling warmly] He's too nice to be a policeman.

[Lupin watches a walking doll grow into a giant]
Lupin: A monster puppet? You scared me! [He flees through the doorway] Don't, don't, don't! [The doll crashes through, breaking down the wall] I don't like such big women. Don't come near. [He's backed against another wall. The doll tries to make a grab for him] Don't get closer! I beg you, don't! I'm afraid of huge women. [The doll slips and falls on top of him] No, I'm suffocating. I'm gonna die here. Please, help!
Rasputan: This is the special dummy I had prepared for you.
[The doll shrinks back to its normal size]
Lupin: Suffoca... Huh?
[He watches the doll walking as Rasputan laughs]

Episode 98, The Day the Old Man Died[edit]

Lupin: Sure would be nice, going up to Heaven with Pops, hand in hand.

[Zenigata wakes up underwater and surfaces in the Seine]
Lupin: Good grief! Pops is alive!
Zenigata: Lupin! You're under arrest!
Lupin: What's going on here?
Jigen: No idea.
Goemon: [hearing Truffaut's men] They're coming.
[The gang jumps into the river. Lupin knocks Zenigata out with a stick as he does so]
Lupin: You play dead now, Pops.

Goemon: [to Truffaut] I feel sorry for the officer you killed. His parents are still alive.
Zenigata: [in tears] He was my shooting teacher at ICPO! A very kind officer! That's why he used the tranquilizer bullet on me.

Zenigata: Lupin... Thank you.

Episode 104, The Most Dangerous Golden Bed[edit]

Butler: May I ask who this is?
Zenigata: I'm the man on this card.
[He presents his business card, which has the name "Kouichi Zenigata" written on it]
Zenigata: I'm Inspector Zenigata from Japan!
[He dutifully salutes]
Morgan: I didn't ask the Japanese police to assist me.

Episode 106, You're a Cat, I'm a Dried Tuna[edit]

Vivian: [to the camera] Oh, I shouldn't have lied.
Zenigata: What were you saying just now?
Vivian: Uh, nothing...

Lupin: Why would I steal a pencil-eating cat?

Lupin: My life needs excitement, not cuteness.

Goemon: It's just a kids' newspaper.

[Jigen whittles at a pencil, meowing]
Jigen: Meow, I said! [He puts the shavings underneath a basket as a trap] Can I really catch it this way? [He goes to hide behind a chimney and waits. Some time later, the cat still hasn't arrived and Jigen, bored from the wait, is fast asleep]

Bucky: A famous person wasting time for a lost cat must be very rich.

Goemon: I can't do something this silly anymore.
Fujiko: Me neither.

Lupin: [putting the cat in a letterbox] Post! [The young man hides in an alleyway as Bucky, Butcher and Vivian run past. A mailman drives by Lupin on a motorcycle and hands him a package. He opens it and the cat emerges. It jumps onto his shoulder affectionately] Why me?

Lupin: Stop the noise! [He makes faces at the cat, like a parent would to a baby]

Lupin: You're a strange cat. How is this tasty? [He tries one of the "pencil shavings" and finds it to have a familiar taste. He inspects the shavings closer] This is dried tuna.

Zenigata: I don't care about the cat.

Zenigata: Alright, let's retreat.
Vivian: This is... Mr. Dorogata, that's my cat! Please, search harder!
Zenigata: The name's Zenigata.

Episode 110, Hot Shot, This Is Fujiko[edit]

Lupin: Jigen, I'll take one for you.
Jigen: Maybe it's better if I've had a shower first?
Lupin: It doesn't make a difference anyway.
[He takes a picture of Jigen. A photo comes out. Lupin looks at it with surprise]
Jigen: What? What's on it?
[He finds to his bewilderment that it's a photo three minutes into the future of him in the shower, completely nude]

[On a nudist beach, Zenigata, in boxers, cringes before a trio of women]
Woman 1: Come on and take your clothes off. It's the rules here.
Woman 2: A person is most beautiful when they're in the nude.
Woman 3: That's right. [She pulls on Zenigata's boxers] Here, put this on.

Episode 112, Goemon's Close Call[edit]

Lupin: You went through this for my sake.
Goemon: If I betrayed my comrades, I'd rather die.
Lupin: [stroking Goemon's hair] You're a fool. A real fool!
[He hugs Goemon tightly and cries]

Lupin: [previewing the next episode] "My only goal is to arrest Lupin." Bah! And now Old Man Zenigata is playing Chuushingura to arrest me! The next one is "Operation Chuushingura". See ya!

Episode 113, The Name of the Operation is Chuushingura[edit]

[Lupin and Jigen are munching away on biscuits at a kabuki play when they notice Goemon clutching his Zantetsuken and crying, enthralled by the play. Lupin, looking displeasedly at Goemon, is about to take another bite of his biscuit when Jigen yanks it away, and Lupin ends up biting his own teeth]
Lupin: Ouch! What did you do that for? [He reaches for his biscuit again but Jigen slaps his hand away and points at the weeping Goemon. Lupin leaves the theater] Just like kids, coming to watch Chuushingura every year. Are the Japanese idiots?

Zenigata: How could they sack you, chief?
Chief Asano: It doesn't matter, Zenigata. I alone doomed myself. As a law keeper, I shouldn't use violence.
[Zenigata silently bursts into tears]
Chief Asano: But if I knew this would happen, I'd have trashed that minister.
Zenigata: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped you.
Chief Asano: Doesn't matter. You must go on.

[On a boat, Kira complains to a blind drunk Lupin]
Kira: I'm very old, of course I'm degenerated. Why must I be treated as the bad guy?
Lupin: Old man, don't cry. Here's another cup.
Kira: Ooishi Kuranosuke, I hate you.
Lupin: Don't look so mean.
Kira: Right. The topic is the treasure.
Lupin: Is there really a treasure?
Kira: Of course there is. I, Kira Kozuenosuke, used my degenerate ways to gather this treasure.
Lupin: If we were meant to meet, I'll investigate it for you.

[The plane Lupin is flying is low on fuel]
Lupin: We're out of gas.
Fujiko: There's a gas station over there.
Lupin: This isn't a car!

Kira: My hands are cold because... I'm a ghost.
[After a second, Lupin bursts out laughing]
Lupin: [pounding the table] "I'm a ghost"! That's a good one.
[His friends watch in astonishment as the man literally vanishes into thin air]

Lupin: [drunk and talking in his sleep] Can't take more...

Lupin: Let's see how serious they are. [He holds up a white flag. The officer shoots it] They're serious.

Zenigata: [imitating Oishi] Comrades of mine, our time has come!
Police: Yes!
[Zenigata tries to bang the drum but smashes the skin instead]
Zenigata: Oops.
Officer: He's taking this act too much to heart.

Lupin: [in a flirtatious pose] Ginger ale later!

Episode 121, The Treasure My Grandfather Left Behind[edit]

Lupin: What the hell is all this sheep doing here?
Gregoire: Don't be irritated. It's not good for your health. You know, count sheep when you can't fall asleep? I suggest you take a nap till they all leave.
Lupin: Don't talk bullshit. [He yells at the sheep] Hey, go on! Shoo! Come on! I need that statue!

[Jigen sees Lupin sitting in the middle of the courtyard. Butterflies circle around his head]
Jigen: Lupin! [He rushes forward and shakes the dozing Lupin by the head] Wake up, Lupin!
Lupin: Three billion, six hundred and fifty seven million, six thousand...
Jigen: [smacking Lupin lightly on the head to wake him up] What kind of talk is that? We know the guy's real identity now.

Episode 126, Together with Lupin to Hell[edit]

Lupin: Could you keep this for me? [He tosses Goemon a brooch] Just take it for me as my parting gift. I could be killed by Fujiko's tricks. [Goemon gives a smile of understanding, pockets the item and leaves]

[Lupin removes the tape from a bound Jigen's mouth]
Jigen: Lupin, you jerk! Have I ever betrayed you? What's the big idea?
Lupin: If I didn't, you wouldn't come with me.
Jigen: Stop the car! I don't want to take part! [Lupin sprays Jigen with knockout gas] Lupin, I'll remember this...
[He passes out in the front passenger seat]
Lupin: I'll wake you when you get there. Sweet dreams.

Lupin: What now, Jigen?
Jigen: Dunno.

Lupin: Let's use rock-paper-scissors to see who'll decide. [Jigen scoffs] As I thought...

Jigen: [thinking Lupin had died] He was a lady-killer, spineless, irritating, but to die like this...
[a stone is hurled at his head. Lupin emerges from one of the corner pockets]
Lupin: [indignantly] Who's a spineless irritating lady-killer?!

Lupin: Damn, the water's coming in. Go-Goemon... GOEMON!! [The stone behind Lupin and Jigen is sliced and they fall out backwards] Goemon, are you dead, too?
Goemon: That would be troublesome.

Episode 128, The Old Woman and the Thievery Contest[edit]

[Lupin barges into Jigen and Goemon's room. The two men wake up squealing like little girls. There's a short, awkward pause. Lupin goes to the end of Goemon's bed and looks at him curiously]
Goemon: [blushing and clearing his throat] It seems I've had a bad dream.
Jigen: [trying to look casual] Me, too.
[Lupin leaves, knowing his partners don't have the diamond]

[The gang stand on each other's shoulders so that their lunatic friend can reach a diaper on a laundry line]
Jigen: When I find that old lady, I'll show her who's boss.
Goemon: [standing on Jigen's shoulders] I came to Broadway for this?
Fujiko: [standing on Goemon's shoulders] The four of us had to be mobilized for that?
Lupin: [standing on Fujiko's shoulders] Just a bit more... there... just a bit more...
[He manages to grab the trivial thing]

Lupin: That old bag is trying to make the article more interesting. She siphoned the gas out of the tank. We're out of gas!
Jigen: [laughing lightly and pushing his fedora further down his face] That old biddy. I'm beginning to like her.

Episode 129, In Jigen, I Saw the Kindness of a Man's Soul[edit]

Guard: At the moment, the president is taking a nap. Until he wakes up, please wait in the waiting room.
Jigen: OK. By the way... [He hits the guard with a tranquilizer dart] Why don't you take a nap as well?

Lupin: I really ought to go there myself, but Pops is hot on my tail right now.
Zenigata: Grrr... Woof!

[A group of men in brown uniforms burst in on Jigen, who is sitting in a hotel room, holding a beverage glass and wearing a nightgown and a nightcap]
Jigen: Well, I don't recall calling for room service.
Janaican Police Chief: Has a woman come into this room?
Jigen: What woman? Sorry, man, but I'm a woman-hater.
Janaican Police Chief: If you're lying, you're in big trouble. Search the place!
[The men trash the room while Jigen calmly sits and has a drink. Fortunately, they don't notice the broken window the woman swung in through]
Janaican Officer: Damn it, she got away!
[The men leave as Jigen holds the door open for them]
Jigen: [to the chief] Thank you for coming. Why don't you have a drink with me?
[The chief ignores him and leaves. Jigen kicks the door shut in a huff]

Fujiko: [disguised as a pilot] We're carrying too many people. One person has to get off or we're going to crash.
Lupin: [fighting a thumb war with Zenigata] That's what he says. What are you going to do, Pops? I don't want to get off.
Zenigata: [also fighting the thumb war] I don't want to get off here either.

Episode 139, Steal Everything From Lupin[edit]

Lupin: [watching Mr. Steel carry Fujiko off] I ain't gonna let my body have all the fun without me.

Zenigata: [disguising himself as a woman] Lupin has a weakness for women.
[He applies the lipstick. The white face paint and colorful clothes honestly make him look more like a clown. He answers his walkie-talkie]
Officer: Inspector, Lupin is here.
Zenigata: Alright, I understand. [He puts on a girlish voice] I'll be right there.

Jigen: [seeing Mr. Steel as Lupin grope a woman in the park] He's really trying to act like Lupin, isn't he?
Lupin: I'm not as bad as that.

[Mr. Steel in Lupin's body tries to chat up a disguised Zenigata]
Goemon: His taste is as bad as yours.
Lupin: Don't be silly. I wouldn't try and pick up Old Man Zenigata if I was offered.

Lupin: This is the first time I've disguised myself as myself. It's really strange.

[Zenigata faints from the confusion of having his body transported into Mr. Steel's]
Dr. Changer: Poor thing. With his brain it's difficult to understand what's going on, you see.

[as Zenigata, in the dying Mr. Steel's body, chases his own body, Lupin drives past in the Mercedes]
Lupin: Pops! Work harder, will you?
Zenigata: L-Lupin!
[Lupin accelerates, and so does Mr. Steel]
Zenigata: Wait!
[Gradually he slows to a walk and finally collapses, dropping his handcuffs. It's curtains for Zenigata... probably]

Episode 140, Wolf Run, Pig Fall Down[edit]

Lupin: Look at Pops bragging up there.
Jigen: Go ahead and let him.

Jigen: Thanks for catching up, Pops.

Jigen: That fish could beat Jaws.
Lupin: I oughta turn 'im into a canned salmon.

Lupin: Animal instincts really are a wonderful thing.

Episode 142, The Big Favorite Disappeared at the Grand Race[edit]

Lupin: Pops, where's your parachute?
Zenigata: I don't need it to arrest you!
Lupin: Let go, Pops!
Zenigata: No way in hell!
[They float down past Red Arrow, who kicks Zenigata, sending him falling into the water, taking Lupin's pants with him]

Fujiko: You've done it, Lupin!
Lupin: Yes, but he eats like a horse, pardon the expression.

Lupin: Pops, I'm leaving him with you. Take care of Red Pig.

Episode 145, Wings of Death: Albatross[edit]

[Lupin prepares to exchange the detonator for Fujiko]
Lonebach: One...
Lupin: Two...
[Fujiko reveals herself to be Zenigata in disguise]
Zenigata: Three!

[Zenigata searches Lupin, emptying his false foot]
Lupin: Pops, is that big aeroboat going to fly?
Zenigata: Yes, today they will test it.
Lupin: I see, that's the story behind that Albatross spark plug thing. [Zenigata grabs his face and pulls hard] Ow! Ow! Stop it!
Zenigata: Oh, it's in here?
[Zenigata pulls off a fake hairpiece from Lupin's head]
Lupin: It's not my fault.
[Zenigata looks in bewilderment as the hairpiece starts to fizzle, and finds out too late that it's a flash grenade]

Lupin: Fujiko. Fujiko.
[Fujiko awakens]
Fujiko: Lupin.
Lupin: You're not hurt?
[Fujiko finds she's lying in the rubble, sandwiched between Jigen and Zenigata, who are unconscious. Lupin, meanwhile, is hanging upside down. The four of them look like a tangled mess]
Fujiko: I know you look serious but this really must be some kind of joke to you!

[Lonebach floats through the air with Zenigata clinging to him]
Zenigata: I've never seen an atom bomb like this.
Lonebach: These bombs are real, I tell you!
Zenigata: Then let them explode!
Lonebach: No! No way!

Episode 148, The Target is 555 Meters[edit]

Lupin: The building lights all look like little diamonds from up here.

Lupin: OK, Goemon, I'm good and ready.

Episode 151, The Arrest Lupin Highway Operation[edit]

Zenigata: I'll catch Lupin even if I have to go into the cage with him.

Lupin: Yo, Pops, are you alright down there?
Zenigata: [poking his head through the bars] Lupin, how dare you! Don't move! I'm going to get you right now! [He realizes his head is stuck and manages to pull it back through the bars. The barge starts moving] Stop that!
Lupin: Next time, pick a better trap for me! [He laughs loudly]
Zenigata: [angrily shooting at Lupin] You think it's so funny to make a fool of me?

Episode 152, Jigen and a Hat and a Pistol[edit]

Fujiko: Jigen, what happened to your hat?
[Jigen blushes and hides behind Lupin]

[The gang finds Zenigata hiding in a bush with a recording device, sobbing]
Lupin: Well, now. Pops, what are you crying about?
Zenigata: Lupin, I've never been so touched like I am today. I really respect Jigen's decision. He is a man among men.
Lupin: What?
Zenigata: Listen, Lupin. I'll let you go until Jigen does his job. Go for it, Jigen! I'm rooting for you!
[He marches away, singing the theme to Star of the Giants]

Episode 154, The Hexagon's Great Legacy[edit]

Fujiko: [disguised as a messenger] Inspector, I've got news for you.
Zenigata: Regarding Lupin?
Fujiko: Yes. He's targeting a bank at the Hexagon City.
[Zenigata laughs eagerly and snatches his coat]
Zenigata: Give it.
[He dashes out the door]

Zenigata: Wait there, Lupin. I'll use my bonus money to buy you a grave.

Episode 155, Farewell my beloved Lupin[edit]

"Zenigata": And this cutie... I mean, the girl is?

Lupin: The real Pops should be at the airport by now.

Zenigata: How stupid can a guy be to impersonate Lupin?

English Dub Bloopers[edit]

Jigen: I still say that broad is nothing but trouble, but God damn it, has she got great tits or what?

Jigen: It says right here, "Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot..."

Lupin: Sounds like someone thinks he might not measure up.
Jigen: Oh, that's ridiculous, man! I have a fourteen-inch doggy dick and don't you forget it!

Dr. Normil: Gentlemen.
Jigen: Hey, this guy's got a dick for a head.
Dr. Normil: I can see you've been talking about me already.

Jigen: You just tripped over my dick.

Jigen: There's a sign up ahead. It says Go Fuck Yourself.

Lupin: Nothing like a tall glass of juice after a near-fatal sauna.
Jotarou: Excuse me, but I thought you might like to know that you now have no choice but to lick my sweaty fucking testes.

Lupin: Stop it! Turn it off, please!
Jotarou: And then, when you couldn't beat my father fair and square, you cheated!
Lupin: Hah! I could have broken into that safe blindfolded, but I didn't! And you know why? It was out of compassion for your father, you bald fuck!
Jotarou: That's a desperate lie. I'm not a bald fuck, I wax!

Zenigata: Dickhead, you'd better be positive about this.
Dr. Normil: I hate it when people call me that. I'M VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY HEAD! Bastard!
Zenigata: [in thought] Sure you are... penis with ears.

Lupin III Part III[edit]

Episode 1, The Gold is Beckoning Lupin[edit]

[Lupin sees a phone ringing in a shark's mouth. He answers it]
Lupin: Call me back. I'm busy.
Fujiko: Oh, dear. The Lupin I know wouldn't act so cold.
Lupin: Who's that? Oh, Fujiko.
Fujiko: I'm in San Francisco, and I need your help.
Lupin: Oh, you're in Frisco? Right, I'm on my way. [As he hangs up, the shark bites him on the hand. A wave crashes onto him. As it turns out, he was dreaming, and the wave that hit him was water from a vase he knocked over while trying to put the receiver back. He lies half out of his bed, still holding the receiver]

Jigen: You said you were stuck to the seat with super glue? Be careful not to peel your back.
Lupin: I have to hurry and help Fujiko.
Jigen: [dismantling the bomb] In Chinatown? [He pulls out the connecting wire] Right, got it.
[Lupin flexes his back, but the bomb is still stuck to him and the entire back of his clothes is torn off]
Lupin: Guess not.

Episode 2, Expose the Great Trap[edit]

Lupin: Whoever touches this bubble when it bursts instantly loses their short-term memory.
[He lets the bubble float and walks away]
Jigen: Hmph. Ridiculous. [The bubble bursts on the brim of Jigen's hat, and he stares ahead in a trance. Lupin steals the gun Jigen was cleaning and swaps it with an ice cream cone. Jigen breaks out of the trance and rubs a handkerchief on the ice cream] Huh? What the...? [Lupin laughs, and Jigen throws the ice cream into his mouth]

Lupin: Here you go, back-ash-wards.

Director Aran: ICPO approved the use of six tons of pure gold for this operation. And the operation failed. Naturally we have to take the blame for it.
Zenigata: [crying] Because of my failure... I apologize.
Director Aran: You don't have to apologize to me. What's done is done. And you're not an Inspector anymore. Forget about Lupin and go back to Japan.
Zenigata: Director Aran, thank you for everything during my time in the force. [He walks away in tears]

Zenigata: You damn interloper! Mind your own business! Not mine!

Episode 4, Telepathy is Love's Signal[edit]

Lupin: [over the phone] Fujiko dear!
Fujiko: [in the bath] Lupin, I won't see you any more.
Lupin: Sorry. Just wait for me. Kissy kissy!
Jigen: Calling Fujiko again?

Episode 6, Lupin has Come With a Tank[edit]

Lupin: Geez, where's he off screwing around? At this rate, we'll find the pearly gates before we find the Megas treasure.

Episode 9, the Copy-Man Becomes Expensive[edit]

[Zenigata is stuck on a magnet, with Budweiser pinned between them. He strains to pull himself loose]
Dr. Budweiser: Ouch! Let go of me!
Zenigata: Sorry, doctor. I'm doing the best I can. [He tries to pull himself away] Damn you, Lupin! He tricked me into wearing a suit of armor because of this magnet. [He gets his right arm free] Damn it, I can't get loose! [His left arm is now free as well. He continues trying to heave himself away. Some time later, Zenigata is fully free. He runs out of the safe and looks around] Alright, Lupin! You're mine! [He sees a glass case with smouldering ashes coming from it] He tricked us with this smoke, saying that it's poisoned gas! Wait a minute! He made us believe that he left through the tunnel... But he's actually probably gone to the roof!

Episode 10, Lay a Plot with the Treasure[edit]

Goemon: I was distracted again. I must improve my mind.
Lupin: [wearing a chef's hat and apron and holding a frying pan] Thanks a lot. I couldn't find the can opener, so it was a big assist.

Jigen: Still, what a flake. Doesn't this guy know about libel laws?

[Lupin has just told Jigen he heard that the Minister needs Arsene Lupin's treasure for something]
Jigen: [scoffing] Ridiculous. I heard the Minister of Justice is going to run for President. He's just using you as campaign fodder.
Lupin: Yeah, it seems like it.

Jigen: By the way, why does the Minister have your grandpa's treasure?
Lupin: Well, the story I heard is that is that grandpa was screwed over by some broad. And she was the Minister's mother.
[Jigen laughs]
Jigen: That's hilarious. It's just like you and Fujiko.

Lupin: You eat a lot. How many stomachs to you have?
Jigen: Don't be silly. It's natural to get hungry after exercising.

Jigen: Don't you think this jailbreak looks too easy?
[In the back seat, Zenigata looks nervous]
Lupin: What? That just means that my plan was perfect.

Zenigata: Minister, you don't have to go about this in a roundabout way. If you leave it to me, I can arrest Lupin right now!
Minister: Inspector Zenigata, if you really could arrest him so easily, Lupin would have been in prison long ago.
Zenigata: Huh? Well... Yes, but...
Minister: Suppose you arrest him. If Lupin then escaped from jail, it would hurt my presidential campaign. Listen, you must not try to arrest Lupin without my permission.
Zenigata: Yes. I, I... I understand, sir!

Lupin: Hey, Pops, you better scram! That dome's gonna blow!

Zenigata: That's our Lupin... I knew something like this would happen!

Episode 13, Play a Joke on the Variation[edit]

Zenigata: Well? Isn't it cosy, wrapped in my super Lupin-catching flypaper?

Lupin: [sticking an exploding bag to Zenigata's face] You'd better not peel it off too hard or your skin will come off.

Jigen: What Lupin needs is rest. He's completely exhausted, in both mind and body.

["Fujiko" drives Lupin to Madame Luisa's castle]
"Fujiko"': Madame Luisa, the billionaire widow, is holding a big party. There will be a lot of rich ladies there. Those vain creatures are like moving jewelry shops. You can collect their jewels with those fingers of yours. [Lupin is asleep and hasn't been listening] Lupin? Lupin? Lupin! [Lupin, wearing a woman's dress and bandages on his head, finally wakes up. The symbol of a hand with a curved index finger is reflected in his left eye.] Understand? Our share will be 70-30. [Lupin sees the castle and stares at it as though in a trance]

Zenigata: I caught Lupin and lived!

Lupin: Welcome to the peep show!

Episode 16, The Poisonous Golden Apple[edit]

Jigen: Got a cold?
Lupin: No, it just happens when Pops talks about me.

Guard: Ah, Inspector, look out! It's dangerous to lean over so much! This is shark infested water!
Zenigata: [arrogant and insistent on searching for Lupin] You fool! If you're scared of a shark, you can't arrest Lupin! [The boat leans to the side, sending Zenigata falling over the railing and towards the water. Lupin throws a rope out with a wooden block attached to it, causing the Inspector to dangle just above the water. He sees the guard is right, and there are indeed sharks in the water] Hey! Get away! Stay back! [The sharks jump at Zenigata] I'm not tasty! Don't come! Help! Pull me up!
Lupin: [pulling Zenigata up] Geez, what a troublesome old man you are!
Jigen: You're too nice. It'd make the job easier if you left him as shark bait.

Lupin: Hey, Pops, that's too violent for prime time!

[Zenigata sees Lupin ride away on a shark]
Zenigata: What?! He trained a shark?! That's a Nobel Prize-level trick!
[Out on the sea, Lupin still thinks he's riding a shark-shaped boat]
Lupin: Huh? I can't control it. What happened to this machine? [The shark dives out of the water] Huh? Th... This is a real shark! [The shark dives in and out of the water] Whoa! He-help me! [It dives in and out again] Jigen!

Zenigata: Prince Adam, this woman is part of Lupin's gang!
Prince Adam: She isn't. Fujiko is my governess!
Zenigata: Your governess? Fujiko? [He bursts out laughing]

[Zenigata bends the bars of the cage he's trapped in]
Lupin: Wow, you really are a gorilla. Time to scram!

Lupin: Pops, you didn't sleep last night, did you? You'd better take a nap!
[The tired Inspector watches Jigen drive Lupin away]
Zenigata: Wait, Lupin...
[His all-night vigil takes its toll and he falls asleep on the ground]

[Lupin appears at the door. He looks dishevelled and exhausted]
Lupin: How do I look? Am I sexy?
[He collapses]
Fujiko: Oh, Lupin, what's happened to you? You look so thin!
Jigen: The apple is actually a laxative to help with bulimia.
Fujiko: That figures. After all the trouble to get it, it turned out to be a laxative.

Episode 17, Are You Really Getting Married?[edit]

Jigen: See? It's just like I said.

Lupin: So, Pops, can you do me one last favor?
Zenigata: W-what? Why are you being so polite?
Lupin: Well, you know, you're going to have us executed, so... I was wondering... Could you marry Fujiko and I first?
Fujiko: Lupin...
Lupin: Please, I beg you, Pops.
[Zenigata thinks about it]
Fujiko: I'd like to ask that of you as well, Inspector Zenigata. [to Lupin] To tell you the truth, I've loved you all the time.
Lupin: Fujiko... [to Zenigata] See? Please, Pops. I beg you.
Zenigata: Fine, I got it. I'll see what I can do.

Episode 23, The Beirut Mobile Bank Operation[edit]

Bank manager: This is my secretary.
Fujiko: [disguised as a secretary] I was just bringing you drinks.
Zenigata: [with an upturned glass on his head] So I see.

Zenigata: They brushed me off with some tissues. What do they take us for at Interpol?
[He sniffs them]
Zenigata: Hey, these smell pretty nice. Guess that's normal for a posh bank...

Computer: Physical characteristic: Bow-legged.
Lupin: That's none of your business!

Lupin: Settle down and have one last smoke.
[He genially hands Zenigata a cigarette. The Inspector sits down and takes the cigarette. Lupin lights it]
Computer: Smoking is forbidden.
[It sprays water in Zenigata's face]

Episode 24, Sleep Peacefully, My Friend[edit]

Lupin: [cornered and out of bullets] Stupid Jigen!
[Jigen arrives in a helicopter]
Jigen: If you don't like me, I can flee solo.
Lupin: Please don't, Jigen-san.

Episode 26, A Ghost in New York[edit]

[Goemon has fished out a skeleton from the Hudson river]
Goemon: An unidentified corpse. And floating down the Hudson river. Poor fellow. I wish you a speedy journey. [As he starts to leave, the skeleton grabs his hakama] What are you doing? Stop haunting me or I'll slash you! [The skeleton winks flirtatiously. Goemon yells. He watches as the skeleton vanishes in a puff of smoke] A host? An illusion? He looks at the bamboo flowerpot he had laid on the ground with trepidation]

Lilly: I do love older men.
Goemon: O-O-Older men?

[Lupin catches one of the quintuplets in his arms]
Lupin: [with hearts in his eyes] Hey, it's the cute babe from before! Seriously, what's your number? I've got to know! [She pushes Lupin away and slaps him]

Episode 29, Let's Go to the Honey-Moon[edit]

Jigen: [hearing Fujiko and Lupin plan to get married] Hmph. You should take a walk before you break his heart.

Goemon: [seeing a Daruma doll seemingly moving on its own] What power!

Zenigata: Open, sesame.
Door: Please go away.
Zenigata: [pounding the door] Open up! Open up! ... Open, carrot.
Door: Please go away.
Zenigata: Open, tomato. Open, green pepper! Open, potato! Open, burdock!
Door: Please go away.
Zenigata: Radish! Cabbage! Celery! Sweet potato!

Goemon: Mr. Robot, please tell me how to cast my chi. [The robot flees in the other direction] Mr. Robot! Please! [Goemon blocks its path] Please... I beg you! Please teach me!

Zenigata: I always knew she'd stab you in the back. You were betrayed by the woman and your pals and it left you ruined. You felt defeated, and your thoughts turned to suicide. [Lupin yawns] But then you heard a divine voice saying "Don't be hasty. [Lupin removes the handcuffs and plays with them] Is that right, Lupin? [Lupin yawns again. Tears form in his eyes] Don't cry. Here you are. [He hands Lupin a handkerchief. He blows his nose] There's an old proverb about not shooting the bird who turns to you for help. Right? You know it? [He sees Lupin has placed the handkerchief over his hands and removes it, with his handcuffs back on his wrists]

Episode 32, 10 Million Dollar Key[edit]

[Zenigata has arrested Lupin for stealing a hamburger. Lupin lies on his prison bed while Zenigata drunkenly sits before his cell]
Zenigata: I've been chasing you for ten years. And all that time I've never had a day of rest. Turning my back on my home, leaving my country, forsaking women... all to chase you!
Lupin: [turning away] You don't get to pin the lack of girlfriends on me.
Zenigata: B-b-By the way... [He falls onto his side] By the way... Why... Of all the shameful things you've done, Lupin... Why'd it have to be over a hamburger? This is beyond pathetic.
[He passes out. Lupin looks over at Zenigata with a smile]
Lupin: You really are a big softy, Pops.

Zenigata: Robbing a local bank? [He sneezes] Talk about lowering your standards.

Jigen: American cops aren't pushovers like the ones in Japan.

Lupin: There's no point in having a car as an ornament you can't drive.

Lupin: Everyone needs a break. Even master thieves.

Lupin: The President seems better suited to riding a horse than a car.

Lupin: Well, that saved us some trouble. They stole the car themselves.

Zenigata: Damn that Lupin! If I ever arrest him, I'll give him my cold!
Lupin: [to himself, in the other room] That must be Pops!

Zenigata: [reading Lupin's letter] "Your beloved Lupin", my ass.

Zenigata: I came here to have breakfast... I mean, arrest you.

Lupin: [after Fujiko steals the car] Oh, whatever.

Lupin: "Ron"? "Zeni"? What are you, poker buddies?

Episode 33, A Boy Genius Plays a Dangerous Game[edit]

Lupin: Oh, it's Pops. It's weird seeing him play tag in a place like this after so long.

Zenigata: Lupin, are you after the boy, too?
Lupin: As if! Like I'd get mixed up in something like this!

Zenigata: Freeze!
Lupin: No way!

[At the New York ICPO headquarters, a poorly Zenigata sneezes loudly]
Zenigata: [sneezing loudly] I will definitely catch Lupin... even if I have to sacrifice my life. [He sneezes again]
Chief: I don't care about Lupin, Zenigata. It seems you don't understand how important this invention is. Anyway, bring back that boy Mikhail. [Zenigata blows his nose] He wants to use this invention to help starving people Africa and Asia. [Zenigata doesn't listen. He stows away his tissue, then takes out a piece of folded paper] That was the late Professor Kazanov's dying wish. If it winds up in corporate hands or those of a single government... [He realizes Zenigata is distracted] Are you listening, Zenigata? [Zenigata sneezes white powder into the chief's face]

Episode 34, Manhattan Crisis[edit]

Zenigata: [harried] ICPO hate putting people up on travel. They're so damn stingy on expenses.

Lupin: You say "pure love", but you mean "pure gold", don't you?

Zenigata: If I arrest Lupin know, they wouldn't know what to do with me! That's why I let him go on purpose.

Lupin: Sorry, I'm... Huh? You're still mad?
Goemon: You woke me up from a nap. How could I be in a good mood after that?
Jigen: Try taking your anger out on the mafia guys.

Lupin: I wish I could act like Elliot Ness!

Thug: Who are you?
Goemon: We're the Shinsengumi! What? Oh no, Lupin's stupidity has rubbed off on me.

Fujiko: Where's Goemon?
Jigen: He went off to crash.
Fujiko: How can he sleep when there's eight million dollars waiting for him?

Jigen: Hey, Lupin. Did you order this thing?
[Lupin finds that there's a grenade on the sandwich tray. He and Jigen race out the diner. Lupin presses his back to the door. The diner blows up. When the smoke clears, Lupin is unharmed, still with his back to the door. He stares ahead, face blank and numb with terror]
Lupin: Delicious.

[Fleeing from the mafia, Lupin and Jigen run into a couple of policemen doing a stop-and-search]
Lupin: Officer! Help! Help! Help! H- [He finds himself staring down the barrel of a cop's gun] Eh? [He quickly dodges before the cop fires and he and Jigen continue running down the street. The suspected felon fires at them along with the cops] Are they mafia, too?
Jigen: Guess so.

Lupin: How many people are in the goddamn mob?!
Jigen: Just assume it's everybody!

Lupin: Help us, Pops!
[The mafia follow him and Jigen out of the manhole and chase them down the street]
Zenigata: I'll help you when I've arrested you.

[Lupin and Jigen shelter together in a safe while Zenigata searches among the rubble]
Lupin: Looks like we're stuck here for a while.
Jigen: [dazed] Guess so.

Goemon: I'm tired. Bye.

[Zenigata sits before two wooden crosses he made for Lupin and Jigen]
Zenigata: Why did you die and leave me on my own, Lupin? I... I loved chasing you. [He buries his face in his fist and cries]
Lupin: Hey, Pops! What's up? Did someone die?
Zenigata: Lupin! You're alive? [He dodges as Fujiko drives past him]
Fujiko: Lupin! Wait for me!
Zenigata: [overjoyed] Freeze, Lupin! You're under arrest!

Episode 38, The Little Mermaid[edit]

Jigen: Fujiko, in your vocabulary the word friends is just a synonym for money.

Wallace: Mr. Lupin is waiting for you. Please hurry.
[He hands the Zantetsuken to Goemon]
Goemon: Thank you. [Two officers run up to him. He imitates Zenigata] You fools! Hurry up and find him! He's escaped!
Officers: Yes, sir!
[Wallace and Goemon smile, then walk away. As they do so, Zenigata, lying under the rubble, flicks a tracking device onto the Zantetsuken]

Lupin: I can't go to heaven having been betrayed by my beloved Princess, can I?

[Lupin is carried off by a dolphin who is in love with him]
Lupin: I don't wanna live underwater! Help me! Jigen? Goemon? Fujiko? Pops?!

Episode 39, The Gold To My Rival[edit]

Zenigata: Darn you, Lupin... Huh? I feel sleepy. [He muzzily makes out a group of masked men breaking into the armored car] Hey, wait! [A man grabs Zenigata by the arm and holds a knife to his throat] You're not Lupin's gang. [He bites the man's hand, causing him to scream in pain and lose his aqualung, and judo-throws him] Don't underestimate me. I, Zenigata, am not so easily... [He collapses by the wall, sedated by the gas and sound asleep]

Zenigata: The culprit wasn't Lupin this time. He...
Chief: I don't want to hear excuses! Zenigata, hurry up and find that gold, no matter who took it!
Zenigata: [saluting] Understood, sir.

Forensic scientist: This is a "survival knife". It's used by special forces.
Zenigata: Special forces...
Forensic scientist: [pointing to an engraving on the knife] Look at this.
Zenigata: Hmm, it's got an engraving.
Forensic scientist: Yes. It's the serial number of the soldier who owned it.
Zenigata: I see. [He dashes to the door] Thanks a bunch. You've been very helpful.
[As he leaves, Jigen emerges from the locker]
Jigen: I see. The gold robbers were special forces.
Lupin: Yeah. No doubt.
Jigen: [taking the knife] Still, he's not very bright to drop it.
Lupin: Now, shall we go?
Jigen: Right.
[Lupin pulls off his mask just as Zenigata comes back in. He hastily pulls it back down]
Lupin: W... What do you want?
Zenigata: Huh? I thought I heard voices in here. Is everything OK?
[He searches Lupin and stares suspiciously at him]
Lupin: N... No, I'm just mumbling to myself. What do you want?
Zenigata: Oh, right, right. Could you give me back the knife?
Lupin: The knife? [He fumbles around for it] Knife, knife, where is that thing...? [Jigen's arm emerges from behind Lupin's coat with the knife] Oh, here.
Zenigata: Ah, thanks. [He stands, wondering why the forensic scientist just grew a third arm. Lupin hastily shoves him out the door]
Lupin: You got what you wanted, so get out and let me work! [He shuts the door] Phew. That was a close call.

Lupin: Thieves don't work during playtime.

Zenigata: "Cool my head"? Asshole.

Jigen: By the way, Lupin, what is this?
Lupin: It's a missile.
Jigen: What?!
Lupin: I "borrowed" it from the armory!
Jigen: Get me off this thing!
[The missile crashes into a forest. The men emerge in one piece from a pond]
Lupin: You still alive, Jigen?
Jigen: Our partnership is over.

Jigen: [clinging awkwardly to an airborne plane] That's it! No more team-ups!
Lupin: But aren't you comfortable?

Episode 41, A Night Under Martial Law[edit]

Goemon: It was careless of you to abandon us for a woman.
Jigen: Lupin's habits are rubbing off on me.

Jigen: [holding Lupin's face in a caressing manner to examine the scratch on his cheek] Is that a new wound?
Lupin: Yes, very new.
[The two men gaze at each other and share a smile]
Goemon: Idiots.
[Lupin and Jigen touch each other's faces, then laugh]

Episode 44, Our Papa is a Thief[edit]

Goemon: [disguised as a construction worker] At least we're lucky this isn't Japan. No one I know will see me like this.

Lupin: (loudly singing) For the sake of my honey, I'm old-fashioned, aren't I? For the sake of the jewels, yeah-ho!

Jigen: [raising his voice to a chicken-like squawk] Damn, Lupin! You finally got someone knocked up!
Goemon: [to the flabbergasted Lupin] It is rather unlike you to leave evidence behind.
Lupin: It's a lie, it's a lie, it's a lie! I've. Been. Framed! I've never met this Mary!
Jigen: [leaning into Lupin's face] You sure about that?
Lupin: Pretty sure.

Goemon: You are a man of the world, aren't you?
Lupin: [sheepishly] Well... a bit...

[Lupin calls Fujiko]
Fujiko: I told you, we're not teaming up.
Lupin: It's not that. I need a woman's nursing hand. [He sees Mark and Vivian playing with Lupin's Walther and Jigen's Magnum] Shut up! That's not a toy! [He and Jigen snatch their weapons back]
Fujiko: [hearing the commotion of children] Lupin, are you hiding in a kindergarten?
Lupin: No. OUCH!
[Over in a truck, Zenigata listens in on the conversation]
Fujiko: Well, I'm too busy to help, plus I don't want to.
Lupin: Please, Fujicakes! We're in an apartment in the East Village!
Fujiko: No!
[She hangs up]

Zenigata: [crying] I didn't know that thieves with children even existed! On the contrary, I...
Lupin: Don't cry on me, Pops!
Zenigata: Having spent my life chasing this fool, I never even found a wife! I don't even have any darling children! My fate won't allow it!
Lupin: What snapped in Pops?
Jigen: Apparently he wants a family.
Goemon: Poor soul.
Jigen: This is our chance to run.
[They back away from the poor, lonely Inspector and make a break for it]
Zenigata: I want a wife! I want kids!

Goemon: No matter how we look at it, there's no way Jigen or I have children.
Jigen: Right. No chance of that there. Though in your case...
Lupin: Please, stop talking like that.

Fujiko: We both need to escape!
Lupin: [sarcastically] Thanks for thinking of me!

Jigen: You look good in drag.
Goemon: Shut it already.

Episode 46, Soaring on Scrap Wings[edit]

Lupin: [imitating Fujiko] "Lupin, I want the Hina dolls. Let's have a Hina doll party, just you and me." Let's light the lantern! Lantern, lantern!
Jigen: [scoffing] Too silly for me.

[The plane crashes, with Zenigata inside]
Jigen: Aw man, the old man finally bit it.
Fujiko: I feel a bit sorry for him.
Lupin: [devoutly clasping his hands together as he floats into the sea] Well, he's got a special reservation on his arrival in heaven.

Zenigata: I'm glad you saved my life, but the problem is we can't communicate.

About Lupin III[edit]

In a word, he’s all about “freedom”, isn’t he. I think this makes him a reflection of what we’d like to be ourselves. ~ Monkey Punch
He's a nice man
But he's cool
You know, he uses Walther
Yeah
The machine cries,
"Bang bang."
Yeah, he's the Lupin the Third.
Nice man
Yeah, he smiles
And he gets angry... sometimes.
But... he's a groovy guy. ~ Tokyo Movie Kikabuku
  • [A] crazy, groovy 1960s world of dynamite and backstabbing, hippies and gangsters.
    • Jason Thompson. "Manga: The Complete Guide". New York, New York: Del Rey. (October 9, 2007). p. 196.
  • [A] fascinating homage to Mad magazine and a four star example of comics as pure comedy.
    • Jason Thompson. "Manga: The Complete Guide". New York, New York: Del Rey. (October 9, 2007). p. 196.
  • Interviewer: Lupin’s charming isn’t he…
Monkey Punch: In a word, he’s all about “freedom”, isn’t he. I think this makes him a reflection of what we’d like to be ourselves.
  • Lupin
    He's a nice man
    But he's cool
    You know, he uses Walther
    Yeah
    The machine cries,
    "Bang bang."
    Yeah, he's the Lupin the Third.
    Nice man
    Yeah, he smiles
    And he gets angry... sometimes.
    But... he's a groovy guy.
    • "Nice Guy Lupin", composed by Takeo Yamashita and performed by Charlie Corsey, written by Tokyo Movie Kikabuku, (January 30, 1972)

"Interview Monkey Punch" (November 13th 2003)[edit]

Monkey Punch, "Interview Monkey Punch", Anime News Network, (November 13th 2003)

  • Actually, it's kind of interesting. I think men and women in general as... rather than saying tease, say they enjoy each other. They use their attributes; Fujiko uses her beautiful body and her sex appeal as a weapon and Lupin uses his cunning and his wit as a weapon and they like going at it with each other in a fun sense. Not necessarily lovers, not necessarily husband and wife, but more just having fun as man and woman with each other and using their weapons against each other, but in an enjoyable way. That's how I think of that.
  • When I started drawing Lupin thirty-six years ago, I was really only supposed to draw him for 3 months. It was more of only a contract project. At the end of that 3 months, it became popular and I continued drawing it for 10 years. And over that time, I never expected that I'd be invited to America multiple times, to attend these conventions, have so many fans and people that have read my works and have come to talk to me and express their gratitude. It's really an amazing feeling and at the same time it's bizarre in a way. I don't understand the popularity. I'm happy for it, but I don't understand it.
  • I would probably have to say as far as inspirations are concerned, maybe some of the more famous mystery works, just worldly mystery works. I think they probably helped me out creating my stories quite a bit.
    Even things like, you know, Treasure Island or Monte Crisco, I think even those works influenced me quite a bit. I even enjoyed reading about D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers. It might be my own analysis, but I even feel that Lupin might be very similar to D'Artagnan. M'lady the character that comes out from the D'Artagnan stories, I think that person might even be similar to Fujiko. So, those kinds of works I really think they did affect me at an early age.

External links[edit]

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