Lupin III

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Lupin III(Nihongo: ルパン三世|Rupan Sansei), also written as Lupin the Third or Lupin the 3rd, is a Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Monkey Punch. It follows the escapades of master thief Arsene Lupin III, the grandson of Arsene Lupin, the gentleman thief of Maurice Leblanc's series of novels.

Quotations from the series[edit]

Lupin The Third Part I[edit]

Episode 2, The Man They Call a Magician[edit]

Jigen: Man, this glass sure can be a pain.

Episode 3, Farewell My Beloved Witch[edit]

Lupin: Linda, my sweet!
Jigen: The hell? Did he just say "Linda, my sweet"? I can't do this...

Lupin: "Attack your prey swiftly and disappear like the wind", right?

Lupin: A nuclear warhead! Linda had to die for something as stupid as this.

Jigen: This is why I keep telling you to be careful of women.
Lupin: Don't nag so much.

Episode 9, Killer Sings the Blues[edit]

Goemon: He's late!
Jigen: [sulking on a chair and frustratedly throwing darts at a heart-shaped target] Yeah. Late.
Goemon: What could he be doing before a job?
Jigen: Hung up on a woman, most likely.
Goemon: If that's the case, what are you going to do?
Jigen: I've had enough. We're through! [He throws a dart at the door just as it's being opened. Lupin catches the dart in his hand. Jigen brightens] You're late!

Episode 11, When the Seventh Bridge Falls[edit]

Lupin: She was such a nice girl.
Jigen: [throwing Lupin out of the boat] Go back there by yourself, then.

Episode 13, Beware the Time Machine[edit]

Lupin: [to Jigen] You sure made one sexy maid, too!

Fukuroko: Well, Inspector, would it make you happy if I were Lupin?
Zenigata: Huh? [He bursts into derisive laughter]
Fukuroko: What if I'd switched places with the real Fukuroko when you left the room earlier? [Zenigata stops laughing] And what if all the cops here... [He reveals his own voice]
Lupin: ... Happened to be my men? [Zenigata sees the cops dropping their masks and grinning. He charges forward]
Zenigata: Lupin! [Lupin blows thick smoke from the cigar] Damn it, Lupin!

[Lupin finds Jigen sitting in the middle of a room cluttered with books, perusing obsessively]
Lupin: Hey, Jigen, will you quit this already? Forget about that loon. [Jigen walks off to the side] Hmph. Fine. I'll just take Goemon with me for this next job. Hey, Goemon! Goemon! [To Lupin's chagrin, Goemon appears from the pile of books, likewise perusing the volumes]
Goemon: What?
Lupin: Well now, Goemon.
Goemon: I'm certain I've heard of Kyousuke Mamou as well.
[Lupin goes to the front room, sits down in an armchair and puts his feet on the table]
Lupin: You gotta be kidding me. Mamou, Mamou, Lupin the 13th, the year two-thousand something... This ain't a sci-fi manga.
[Some time later, Lupin sleeps in the armchair. As though in a dream, he hears Mamou's voice speaking to him]
Mamou: Allow me to explain, Lupin. I have conquered the fourth dimension. Behold. With this time machine, I can traverse the temporal plane, past or future. And I saw it. [A frown forms on the slumbering thief's face] I saw my descendants kill your descendants. It all occurs about nine hundred years from now. [Lupin moans softly] Still don't believe me? Then I'll tell you my date of birth. It's November 18th, 1932.
[Lupin wakes up, and sits up in confusion]
Lupin: November 18th, 1932... Yeesh! What a lousy dream. [He goes to the window and stares contemplatively out of it. Jigen and Goemon enter the room]
Jigen: Hey, Lupin, we found it. Listen up. Kyousuke Mamou, a scientist. Sci-fi author and recipient of the Hugo award. His passion lies in the fourth dimension, especially the study of time and space, but he went mad in 1966.
Goemon: While institutionalised in the city's psychiatric hospital, he declared the world was in crisis, and built a time machine, his version of Noah's Ark. He is currently traveling in time.
Lupin: What's his date of birth?
Goemon: Date of birth? Yes, it's here. November 18th, 1932.
Lupin: [smirking] Quite interesting, Mr. Kyousuke Mamou.

Jigen: [to Fujiko] Lupin's in a bit of a serious mood right now. He's up against a man who travels the fourth dimension, one Kyousuke Mamo. We're afraid of him, too. [Lupin flies into a rage and hurls a machete past them]
Lupin: BULLCRAP! Did I ever say I was afraid? Hell no! You think I'd take that lunatic's threat seriously? [He grabs Fujiko] Come with me, Fujiko dear. [He races off down the road with her in his Mercedes to take her on a date and forget about the lunatic]

[Fujiko watches Lupin sitting dejectedly on a hill outside the church]
Fujiko: Lupin...
[Lupin answers with a groan]
Lupin: It's frustrating, but... this is hopeless.
[He trudges over to Fujiko]
Lupin: Fujiko...
[He kneels in front of Fujiko, buries his face into her and starts crying. Suddenly, he hears church bells ringing and gets an idea]
Lupin: Fujiko... marry me!
Fujiko: What?
Lupin: [desperately] I only have three more days. This is my last wish.
[Fujiko blinks, confused]
Lupin: Please. We'll just do the ceremony. Please, Fujiko.
[He beseechingly puts his hands together]
Lupin: Please.
Fujiko: You really love me that much?
Lupin: Yes!
Fujiko: Then... okay.
Lupin: [spirits lifted] Really? Alright!

Jigen: [shaking Goemon roughly] Hey, Goemon! Why the hell didn't you help him?
Goemon: And what exactly did you do to help?
[Jigen, distraught, buries his face in the table]
Jigen: Lupin... Lupin...
Goemon: Don't cry, Jigen. [Despite this, Jigen starts to cry anyway] I'll avenge him.
[Jigen looks up at Goemon indignantly]
Jigen: Idiot! You're too old-fashioned! He's in the Fourth Dimension! The 29th Century! What can an Edo Period guy like you do? If Mr. Edo Period could do something, Lupin would most likely have done something himself.
[He continues crying into the table]
Lupin: [from behind the aquarium] Edo Period, huh? How insightful of you two. You've given me a great idea.
[Goemon and Jigen stare at Lupin in shock]
Jigen: [eyes streaming with fresh tears] Lupin...
Lupin: Well, you see, I was worried that people would miss me when I was gone, so I hid for a bit. [He chuckles]
Jigen: [angry at Lupin for scaring him] Damn you, Lupin!

Episode 14, The Emerald's Secret[edit]

Lupin: [seeing Zenigata dance with a disguised Fujiko] He's a superb dancer. Very manly, dynamic, simple.

Episode 17, Lupin Caught in a Trap[edit]

Lupin: Oh, come on, Jigen. Don't look so cranky.
Jigen: [defensively] I was born cranky.

Lupin III Part II[edit]

Episode 1, The Dashing Entrance of Lupin III[edit]

[Lupin, Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko sit on a raft in the middle of the ocean after the liner meant to trap them sinks]
Fujiko: It's unbelievable. A billion dollars, it's all gone. Sunk in the ocean, for what? All for revenge. What a waste.
Lupin: I just can't get over it. Old Pops, the constant pain in the rear, who hounded me across seven continents, is gone forever. It's really true what they say in the song, you don't know what you got until it's gone.
Jigen: [crossing himself] Everybody's gotta go sometime. It's all just a long goodbye, Lupin.
Goemon: Zenigata is now with his ancestors.
[All four have a moment of silent prayer]
Lupin: [choking up] Poor Pops.
Zenigata: Lupin, you weasel! We had a deal! Get your butt over here!
[The four of them see Zenigata riding a turtle]
Lupin: [relieved] Pops! Is that you? We thought you were dead! Oh, I could kiss you, ya big lug! Let's get out of here, guys! The chase is on again! Woo-hoo!
[The gang paddles the raft to New York City. Zenigata spurs the turtle forward, but it throws him off]
Zenigata: Wait, Lupin!

Episode 2, A Bouquet of Bills Blossoms in Rio's Sunset[edit]

Jail Security Guard: Hey, knock it off in there! That tapping's driving me crazy!
Lupin: Oh, sorry there, pal. But you're not officially crazy until you go... BLEH! BLEH! BLEH!

Episode 3, Hitler's Legacy[edit]

Lupin: [shivering and sneezing] I still don't get why it took you guys twenty minutes to haul me back on board!
Fujiko: Actually, we could've had you out a lot sooner, lover, but everybody agreed that cold water was exactly what was needed to cure your... voyeurism.
Jigen: In fact, we're gonna keep some handy.
Lupin: Very funny.

Lupin: [about Genhalter] The bad news is he's in East Berlin.
Fujiko: What? East Berlin? Isn't that a little ironic?
Lupin: War's over, guy says, "Hey, they may be Commies, but at least they're fellow homicidal totalitarians."

[Japanese original]
Lupin: Maybe I'll just become a little birdie!

Zenigata: [seized by West Berlin police] Hey, get off me! I almost had him this time, but what the hell do you care?! I know, you're only following orders! "Sieg heil!"

Lupin: [seeing the report cards] This was his secret stash?! He murders half the world and he's ashamed of this?!?

Episode 4, I Can Hear Nessie's Song[edit]

Goemon: For Buddha's sake, Lupin, have some dignity.

[Lupin sees Fujiko being abducted by Dr. Oz]
Lupin: Fujiko! Fujiko, hold on! I'm coming! [He grabs the oars] Come on, Jigen, we gotta help her!
[He starts rowing at speed, causing Jigen to almost fall out and nearly drop the scotch]
Jigen: Hey, hey, hey! The scotch! Who-o-oah!
[Over on the boat, Fujiko feebly protests]
Fujiko: No! Let go of me!
Dr. Oz: Faster! Let's go!
[Lupin rows frantically, inadvertently tossing Jigen up and down]
Lupin: Fujiko! Fujiko! Fujiko!
Jigen: [simultaneously] Uh! Ow! Oh!
Fujiko: Lupin, help!
[Dr. Oz turns the boat around. Lupin approaches it in the rowboat]
Lupin: Don't worry! I'm coming! Here I am!
[He swings at one of the men and hits him on the head]
Jigen: Hey! Take it easy!
[A wave from the boat capsizes Lupin's small rowboat. Dr. Oz's motorboat drives away]
Fujiko: Lupin!
[Lupin and Jigen lie across the capsized boat]
Lupin: Jigen! Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em!
Jigen: [aiming his pistol] Hang on. I can't get a beat on 'em.
Lupin: Come on! They're getting away! Shoot 'em, willya?
[He impatiently hits Jigen over the head with an oar]
Lupin: Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
[He looks over at Jigen, who is lying, dazed, across the capsized boat]
Lupin: Oops. Sorry, pal.

Goemon: [after saving Lupin and Jigen from being taken out by an assassin] It's a good thing that one of us wasn't sleeping on the job.

Lupin suddenly cries out. Jigen shoves him to the ground as bullets rain over them]
Jigen: Damn it! What in the hell is the matter with you, Lupin?
Lupin: Matter?! What's the matter?! Ask my damn butt!
[Lupin has a bear trap on his behind]
Jigen: Ooh, that's gotta hurt. These guys are good. I mean, well, you know.

Goemon: [after pulling a bear trap from Lupin's behind] Ah, the old exploding bear trap in the ass trick. [He throws away the bear trap and it explodes]
Lupin: ANYBODY HERE NOT TRYING TO KILL ME?!
Goemon: Sorry.

Lupin: Help! I'm being eaten by a quaint folk legend!

Lupin: Smart guy like you? You really thought Nessie would be attracted to this tin can?
Dr. Oz: Her mating habits are obscure.
Lupin: I'm guessing yours must be too if you really thought this lame plan would work.
Dr. Oz: You can bait me all you like, but it's all moot since your friend charmed Nessie for me.
Jigen: Thanks a lot, Fujiko.
Fujiko: Don't blame me.
Lupin: It's, uh, kind of funny, you know?
[He and Jigen burst out laughing]
Dr. Oz: What is so amusing?
Fujiko: I happen to have a nice singing voice!
Lupin: It's just that it's not the first of your charms that comes to mind.
Fujiko: Oh God, you're hopeless.
[She knees Lupin in the chin]

Lupin: Fujiko, keep singing! Mother, father, please believe me, every word is true. I just glimpsed a...
[The Loch Ness Monster heads back underwater]
Lupin: Uh-oh, I don't think he likes my rendition very much.

Episode 9, What Do You Think of the Ukiyo-e Blues[edit]

Sharaku: Water. Please, I...
[He grabs Jigen's scotch]
Jigen: No! Don't you drink that! It's not water, it's...
[Sharaku downs the scotch]
Jigen: Don't you...
[Sharaku finishes the scotch and lies back down]
Jigen: Damn it. Just my luck. This he's got the strength to finish.

Episode 10, Steal File M123[edit]

[Lupin and Fujiko are locked in a basement]
Lupin: Well, the good thing is, I don't think it's Hell.
Fujiko: Not a real far cry, though.

Jigen: You know, you're like a friggin' teenager, Lupin. You gotta grow up, man.
Lupin: [petulantly] I am not like a teenager! You guys suck! Go on, take off. Who needs ya? [He hears Jigen and Goemon leaving] It's not fair! Everyone's being mean to me!

Lupin: [as Zenigata] I'd say the acting's a bit over the top, wouldn't you?
Zenigata: I'm not acting, me!

Goemon: [as Zenigata] Hey! What the hell is everybody doing dressed up like me?

Chief: Mr. Zenigata.
Zenigatas: Yes!
[The chief groans]
Zenigata: Listen, I'm the real Zenigata. I should know who the hell I am, shouldn't I?
Zenigata 2: [Lupin] He's lying, sir!
Zenigata 1: [Jigen] They're all lying!
Zenigata 4: [Goemon] Except for me!

Zenigata: Stewardess! Don't let them on there!
Jigen: How did he get out?

Zenigata: Lupin, I know you can hear me.
Lupin: That's a Roger, Red Baron. I'm here.
Zenigata: I know you stole the file from Scotland Yard. Over.
Lupin: Just casing the competition. Over.
Zenigata: You better hand it over. Over.
Lupin: Why don't you roll me in the clover? Over.
Zenigata: YOU GO TO HEEEEEELLLL! Uh, over.

Goemon: So, the belt explodes if I do this?
Lupin: Hey, hey! Not funny.

Episode 11, Wager on the Monaco GP[edit]

Lupin: This is just great! After all the work I put into that stupid race tomorrow!
Jigen: It's your own damn fault.
Lupin: I KNOW!!!

Episode 13, The Great San Francisco Chase[edit]

Lupin hallucination: Aw, you don't wanna kill me. I mean, that'd just be case of murder-suicide, now, wouldn't it, Pops? [He laughs maniacally]

Lupin: I can't believe we were beaten to the punch like that!
Goemon: You really need to let that go, my friend.
Fujiko: Goemon's right, Lupin. You're really losing perspective here. I mean, we just scored the biggest, most beautiful diamond I've ever laid eyes on.
Lupin: And will you love it as much when it retails for five bucks?

Henchman: [smelling Zenigata's breath] Son of a bitch. Smells like something died in here. Guy could use a mint.

Goemon: [knocking out the henchmen] They'll be fine... ish.

Lupin: Anyway, we already know where the microfilm is.
Jigen: Hell of a lot of good that does us. Though some fun pictures do come to mind.

Zenigata: [after the psychiatrist uses a bizarre analogy to describe his depression] I suppose I should be flattered by that, but I guess I'm just too depressed.

Zenigata: You're not real... You're not real... You're not real!
Lupin: Yoo-hoo! [He waggles his tongue at Zenigata. The Inspector screams and runs down the street, leaving a confused Lupin standing there]

Jigen: [while driving after Zenigata] He's driving like a friggin' maniac. [An amused little smile spreads across his face] I gotta admit it, though: It does feel kinda nice to be running his sorry ass ragged for a change.

Lupin: Open wide now, Inspector Sleeping Beauty. [He holds Zenigata's nose. The Inspector sneezes violently, and the microfilm goes flying]

Episode 16, The Two Faces of Lupin[edit]

Zenigata: Lupin likes to think of himself as some sort of a gentleman thief. If he says he'll be here at three o'clock Thursday morning, you can count on it.

Lupin: So someone's running around impersonating me. I mean, what's so hard to grasp? I am something of a celebrity, you know.
Fujiko: He dresses like you, he sounds like you, and he's got your fingerprints.
Lupin: Yeah, but he's not as handsome, according to you.
Fujiko: So what? You're a master of disguise, and I didn't say handsome anyway.

Fujiko: Whatever. You guys stick together, and I'll stick to my principles, like not working with killers.
[She leaves in a huff]
Lupin: [frustrated] What a hypocritical bitch! "Principles", my ass.

Fake Lupin: You know, if this was good enough to con a couple of cons like that, we just might win an Academy Award.
Dr. Normil: Uh-huh. I could be Geffen, and you Katzenberg. But right now, I'd suggest that we check on our little Robert Downey Jr.
[Lupin is slumped over the table, motionless and groaning]
Fake Lupin: This I gotta see. How much of that stuff did you slip in?
[Lupin completely passes out, drifting off into a deep sleep]
Dr. Normil: [with a wicked chuckle] Enough. Yes, and he'll have absolutely no memory of anything that's happened.
Fake Lupin: Yeah, or of anything that didn't happen either.
Dr. Normil: [laughing] Exactly!

[Lupin stands on a tire and puts his head in a noose]
Lupin: It's been fun... 'til now.
[He kicks the tire away, but the second he does, a bullet from a revolver cuts the rope]
Lupin: Damn it! Can't a guy kill himself in peace?!?
Fujiko: Sorry, Lupin, but I just can't let you do this.

[Tied to a chair, Lupin suddenly tenses. Fujiko gasps]
Fujiko: It's midnight, right on the dot!
[Lupin writhes in his seat. Fujiko cocks her gun]
Fujiko: Lupin, sorry I have to do this. We'll be together soon.
Lupin: No, wait! It's a... It's a...
[He sneezes]
Fujiko: [relieved] I knew I was right. You're not a killer. In fact, you're even allergic to death.

Episode 18, The Black Panther[edit]

Lupin: This is great. I mean, this is the ultimate mother of all birthday presents. Can you imagine her reaction when she opens it up? "You're giving me the Black Panther? Oh, Lupin, I love you! Come over here, I want to be your little pussycat!" [He makes kissing sounds near Goemon]
Goemon: First, I'm not a prop for your sexual fantasies. Secondly... [He pushes Lupin away] You don't have it yet.

Zenigata: [showing the hotel clerk a picture of Lupin] This is what he looks like. Well, most of the time, I mean. Sometimes he's a woman, or an eskimo, or... Anyway, have you seen him?

[The gang spies on Conaiseau]
Jigen: It sounds like they're getting ready to hit the road. Yeah, you called it, Lupin.
Lupin: I still can't figure it, though. This guy's nuts. At least with Pops, it's all, you know, pretty damn... predictable.
Zenigata: [suddenly appearing at the window] Well, well!
Lupin: Usually, anyway!
Zenigata: All of you, out of the car now!
Lupin: Well, what can one say to a gracious invitation like that except... Bleh! FLOOR IT!
[The gang drives away]

Naturist Woman: Can't you read? This is a restricted area. Women only. Where's your registration tag?
Lupin: [leering] Gee, I forget. I guess you'll just have to frisk me.
[A woman scratches Lupin's face. He and Conaiseau are chased by a mob of angry women]
Conaiseau: That's no way to charm a lady!
Lupin: Oh, like I'm gonna take lessons from you!

Episode 20, Lupin Up Against the Wall[edit]

Generalissimo Hatler: Mobilize the tanks!
Hess: Ja wohl!
Zenigata: [gagged with tape] Not the tanks, you big gorilla! Can't you see? That's just what he wants! He thrives on chaos!

Zenigata: [through his gag] See you later, Lupin! You'll be hearing from me!

Lupin: I'd been meaning to ask you: How'd that flesh wound of yours heal up?
Fujiko: I'm as good as new.
Lupin: Really? Ooh... [He takes a look between Fujiko's breasts] I'll just...
[Fujiko yelps and slaps Lupin.]
Fujiko: Lupin!
[The young man careens down the hill in his wheelchair]
Lupin: Whoooooa! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, noooooooo!
[He passes Jigen and Goemon. Goemon rests by the trunk while Jigen is on one of the branches. Lupin continues screaming in the background]
Jigen: Hey, we've done all we can for the guy.
Goemon: He's on this own this time.
[Lupin bumps along the dirt path. Zenigata approaches in his path]
Zenigata: Whoa, what's that? [Lupin speeds uncontrollably in his direction] Hey, wait a minute!
Lupin: I can't stop!
[Zenigata runs towards Lupin]
Zenigata: It's Lupin! [He decides it's a good idea to run back in the other direction] Hey! Whoa!
Lupin: Pops! Wait! Please help me!
Zenigata: Hey! Get away from me! Get away from me! What are you doing?
Lupin: Help! Help!
[They crash into each other and fall over]

Episode 23, Witch of the Fourth Dimension[edit]

Chief: Well, give my regards to Speed Racer. I bid you adieu.
Zenigata: [into his hat] Penis!
Chief: Pardon?
[Zenigata turns and hits his head on the door]
Zenigata: Ow. Must have caught a cold or something. [He feigns another sneeze] Asswipe!

French Taxi Driver: Who are you?
Zenigata: [sarcastically] I'm Jerry Lewis!
[He hijacks the taxi]
French Taxi Driver: You've lost weight!

Zenigata: I'm a very grumpy guy.

Jigen: Hey, Goemon.
Goemon: Yes? What? Well?
Jigen: It's Fujiko. She wants to talk to Lupin.
Goemon: Uh-oh.
Jigen: I know. I'm afraid just hearing her voice. It's gonna be enough to make him jump out the window or something.
Lupin: BANZAI!
[a glass window breaks]
Jigen: You know?

Bujiko: Now here's a map, whether you believe it or not. I think it's in some kind of code.
Lupin: That looks like... hieroglyphics!
[Remembering the curse of King Tutankhamun, Lupin becomes very frightened]
Bujiko: What the...? [She tenderly touches Lupin's chin as he trembles] You know, I don't understand what you're saying to me, Lupin, and that really ticks me off.
Lupin: It's the curse of King Tut. I already did that one!

Episode 24, The Phantom Thief Nezumi Kozō[edit]

Lupin: Okay, so who've you ticked off?
Goemon: No one.
Jigen: [to Lupin] He's got a point. I mean, you're the annoying one on this team.

[Japanese original]
Zenigata: Spies are our enemies! 007, James Bond, he's unforgivable!

Jigen: [bursting into Lupin's room] Hey, Lupin, we've got a problem. [To his dismay, he finds the young man snoring away in bed] Oh, man. Look at him. [He opens the curtains, then shakes Lupin gently on the shoulder] Hey, buddy, get out of bed. It's lunchtime. [Lupin sleeps blissfully on] Wouldn't you know it? Dead to the world. I swear to God, this guy could sleep through World War friggin' Three. Sorry, man, but I'm afraid you leave no alternative. Gotta bring out the heavy artillery. Hey, Fujiko! Put on some clothes!
[Lupin wakes up immediately. He springs out of his bed, inadvertently throwing his duvet over Jigen]
Lupin: Huh?! Where?! Tell me! Come on!
Jigen: [throwing the cover off] She's not here, Lupin.
Lupin: What the-? Hey! That's low! I'll get you. Just you wait.

Ratboy: [in disguise, while in the men's room] Uh, well, I, uh, thought I smelled gas...
Zenigata: Oh, yeah?
[He slowly approaches Ratboy, who stands there, terrified. Then Zenigata laughs lightly]
Zenigata: Well, doesn't that, you know, sorta come with the territory?

Lupin: [laughing at the ridiculous situation while also hearing Ratboy's laugh] Oh, brother. Does he always laugh like that?
Jigen: I'm afraid so.

Episode 26, The Rose and the Pistol[edit]

[Jigen starts after the woman's kidnappers]
Lupin: [pinkies cuffed] Hey, Jigen, wait! Give me a hand here!
Jigen: Damn, how the hell did that happen?
[Lupin struggles with the cuffs, which are being held on a long piece of twine by an unconscious Zenigata]
Jigen: Look, handle yourself. I'd better go.
Lupin: Hey! Get back here! [He goes over to Zenigata and fishes for a keyring. He finds to his disappointment that there are lots of keys]

Lupin: I don't dare set foot outside wearing this fleschuganah thing on my pinkie! I mean, what if it's some weird code that says I wanna get spanked by a skinhead or something?

Episode 27, Find the Cinderella Stamp[edit]

Jigen: [while Lupin and Fujiko argue with Alice] OK, now, children, let's just...

[Alice pretends that Fujiko is her mother, so the police ask her to come with them]
Jigen: Call me when you're done, uh, darling.

Lupin: This is bad for our reputation. I mean, if anything, she kidnapped us!
Jigen: Well if you ask me, I'm not sure that's much better for our reputation.

[Jigen pistol-whips the officers holding Lupin]
Jigen: Leave this to me. You go get the girl.
[Lupin runs off down the street after the girl, and Zenigata runs after him]
Lupin: ALIIICE!
Zenigata: LUPIIIN!

Episode 29, Electroshock Pigeon Tactics[edit]

[Lupin's car is out of control]
Jigen: Slow down, would ya?
Lupin: I can't!
Jigen: What do you mean, you can't?
Lupin: Hey, the friggin' brakes are out!
[He presses on the brakes to show Jigen]
Lupin: See?
Jigen: What? Well, don't just tap'em!
Lupin: I'm not just tapping! Look!
Jigen: Then how come it's not stopping?
Lupin: Because... the brakes... ARE OUT!

Jigen: Call me superstitious, but next time you're thinking about that broad, don't actually say her name out loud, okay?
Fujiko: [from down below] Lupin!
Lupin: Huh?
Jigen: No!
Lupin: Hey!
Jigen: Don't say it!
Lupin: It's Fujiko!
Jigen: Aw, crap.

[Zenigata sees Lupin and Jigen floating in mid air]
Zenigata: GOOD GRAVY!
Baron: Let me see!
[He looks through the telescope]
Baron: Ah, you see? Just as I told you. Hmm...
Zenigata: It's the damnedest damn thing I ever saw in my damn life!

Baron: They're falling... They're thrown clear of the car which explodes... when then, they gently float down to earth, bobbing just over the water like pixies.

Fujiko: Will everything be... Well, you know, intent?
Doctor: Ah, yes, I assume you refer to his hoo-hah.

Lupin: Her dot... and his dot... are like one big happy dot!

[Zenigata waits beneath Lupin as he plummets through the air towards the ocean]
Zenigata: Don't worry, Lupin! I'll catch you!
[He grins eagerly]
Lupin: MOMMYYYYY!

Episode 30, The Winds of Morocco are Hot[edit]

Lupin: Listen, Commander, I really wish you all the best with this big bloodbath of yours, but, unfortunately, I'm not going to be sticking around.
Foreign Legion Commander: Ah, I understand. Well, it's up to you. But I should warn you, the only way out of here is up those steps over there.
[He points to a guillotine. Lupin grimly imagines himself being beheaded]
Lupin: [in his imagination] Help me! Ahh! Help! Help me, please! I really don't wanna die! Help me, please! Please, stop! I'm too young to die! And too handsome, and charming, and...
[Back in the real world, Lupin continues to stare at the blade]
Foreign Legion Commander: But, hey, if you have to go, you have to go. I totally respect that.
Lupin: [hopefully] And you're sure that's the only, only way? There's no, like, camel taxi or anything?

Foreign Legion Commander: Such petty rivalries are nothing but a bourgeois luxury, which the true revolutionary must abandon. Plus, I hate you.

Lupin: Damn. I haven't felt so trapped and helpless since the last time I went to Disneyland. But at least when I was at Disneyland, nobody ever forced me to share a teacup with Goofy.
Zenigata: You'll be sharing a cell with rats when I get you back to Japan!
Lupin: Yeah, well, be that as it may... It'll be the land of the setting sun for you if you stick around here and end up in the middle of some revolutionary uprising.
[He imagines himself and Zenigata clinging to each other in the middle of a battlefield, then imagines himself crying over Zenigata's grave as the Inspector floats away as an angel]
Zenigata: But... What about my poor mother?!

Zenigata: [holding Lupin lightly by the back of his jacket] I got you right in the palm of my hand. And I'm not lettin' ya...
Lupin: [pulling himself free] No wonder you never caught me.

Episode 31, Shoot Into the Midnight Sun[edit]

Zenigata: It's ten o'clock. Why is it still light out?
First Swedish Officer: We have a thing here called the midnight sun, and it...
Zenigata: THAT WAS RHETORICAL! THE POINT IS, I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A WEEK!
First Swedish Officer: Ah, well. Here, try this eye mask.
Zenigata: Oh, yeah? Huh. [He ties it around his face, then yawns]
Second Swedish Officer: [not realizing Zenigata is already asleep] I'm guessing you got some tip about Mr. Lupin.
Zenigata: [startled] ARGH! WHERE? DAMN! LUPIN! [He holds up his hands] Whoa! I can't see! What's goin' on?! Hey! Is it... the apocalypse?
First Swedish Officer: It's just the eye mask. You're fine.
[Zenigata pulls up the eye mask]
Zenigata: [sheepishly] Uh... I knew that. [He looks out the back window] Damn midnight sun's a menace!
[He clears his throat and pulls the eye mask back down]
First Swedish Officer: So, what's Lupin doing here?
Zenigata: Well, it isn't really that clear yet. Could be, he's trying to make his way to the North Pole. Yep, it's the closest place to the old midnight sun this time of the year. He'll blast off in a rocket ship and steal it, I tell ya. I just figured it out. He's gonna steal the sun, mama, so he can get away with everything. [The officers exchange confused glances] But I'm not gonna care at all, 'cause it's gonna be... so dark.
[He yawns loudly. The officers shrug. Lupin and Jigen approach the car]
Jigen: Is that Pops in the back seat, blindfolded?
Lupin: Sure looks like it. Poor guy just can't seem to catch a break.
[He gets out a cigarette and goes up to the officers]
Lupin: Hi. How's it going, guys? Mind if I borrow your lighter for a second?
Second Swedish Officer: There's no smoking in our town.
Lupin: [reaching in through the back window] Ah. It slipped my mind.
[He and Jigen walk away laughing. Zenigata wakes up suddenly]
Zenigata: Hey! Wait a minute! Lupin did it! Seen that everything's all dark!
Second Swedish Officer: Inspector, take off your mask.
[Zenigata does so]
Zenigata: I didn't... talk in my sleep or anything, did I?
Swedish Officers: [as Zenigata rubs his eyes] Not a word.

Goemon: So then, what's the plan?
Lupin: What the hell do you think? Plunder.
Goemon: Because?
Jigen: Huh?
Lupin: Just think of the consequences if we didn't do it. One of those girls is going to die, and do you want that on your conscience? I know I don't and... Uh, well...
Goemon: Go on.
Jigen: And because... it's what we do.
Lupin: Uh, yeah.

Lupin: [still digging] 'Cause that was different... The curse was on that mask, so I totally understood... But this is just crazy. I mean, don't come crying to me when I'm sitting on the biggest...

Episode 32, Lupin Dies Twice[edit]

Fujiko: Come on, Lupin, please just let him catch you this one time.
Lupin: So, I guess this means we're going to be giving up together.
Fujiko: It does?
Lupin: Sure! That's the power of love.
Fujiko: I, love you?
Lupin: You see?
Fujiko: I'm not fooling around.
Lupin: 'Cause this is all you need.
Fujiko: You're gonna need a doctor.
Zenigata: [feeling like he's having to come between a pair of squabbling children] Just shut up, you two! Both of ya!

Lupin: [on the phone] And the inscription on the headstone should read: "Here lies poor Lupin, Fujiko-less. At least if she visits, he can look up her dress."

[Zenigata and Fujiko rush to the morgue]
Zenigata: Chief! Fill me in! What have you got here?
Chief: Well, sir, we got a DOA [meaning "Dead on arrival"]. And we got his partners here waiting to be interrogated.
Zenigata: Hold on! Are you saying Lupin's deceased?! Do you think I was born yesterday or something?! Huh?! THE ONLY DUMMMY AROUND HERE IS THE DOA!
[Zenigata, Fujiko and the chief enter the morgue]
Zenigata: [scoffing] The old coffin gambit, Lupin? Come on, you big con artist. [He waves his handcuffs] Alright, open 'er up.
[The mortician opens the coffin. Lupin lies inside, motionless and pale]
Zenigata: That's our guy!
Fujiko: No!
Zenigata: Hey, Lupin! Get up! Come on! Hey, Lupin! Cut it out, willya? Come on! [He shakes the thief's head] I'm not kiddin', Lupin! This isn't funny! [He starts crying] Damn it, Lupin!
Chief: Inspector, please, maybe you should control yourself.
Zenigata: [sobbing] You can't really be dead! I never told you this before, but I love you! What am I gonna do without you? You're my whole reason to live! How could you do this to me? I hate you! No, I don't! I don't! I'm sorry! [He rubs his tear-streaked face against Lupin's] Please don't leave me, Lupin!
Chief: [placing a comforting hand on Zenigata's shoulder] It's alright, Inspector.
[Zenigata furiously handcuffs the officer, then, sobbing hysterically, tears out of the building, firing his pistol into the air]
Zenigata: Puma! I'll get you, you son of a bitch!

[Zenigata is arrested and thrown in a cell with Jigen and Goemon]
Jigen: Yo, Pops!
Zenigata: Yo yourself, you damn bastard! I oughta...
[He tackles Jigen]
Jigen: What the... hey!
Zenigata: What the hell kind of a partner are you anyway? How could you just let him go and die like that?!

[Lupin wakes up from the drug-induced coma needed to fake his own death]
Lupin: Mommy.
[He yawns]
Lupin: What a nap.
Fujiko: Are you all right?
Lupin : [sitting up with a rose in his hand and an amorous expression on his face] You tell me.
[He leans in to kiss Fujiko and she slaps hm]
Lupin: Hey, what the hell kind of greeting is that? I mean, especially after that touching tribute that I gave you on my headstone.
Fujiko: [sarcastically] Yeah. Real romantic.
[Lupin takes a look at the headstone]
Lupin: [forgetting part of his phone conversation with the mortician] Hey! That's just crass!

Lupin: I wanted to see that face. Just once before I say... Hasta la bye bye!

Episode 34, Lupin Becomes a Vampire[edit]

Fujiko [as a storm rages on mount Onihime] No way to get up that mountain tonight. Only an idiot would dare to attempt it.
[Cut to Zenigata clutching onto a steep mountainside in the pouring rain]
Zenigata: What the hell am I doing up here?! I'M SCARED OF THUNDER! I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!

Jigen: Wait a minute, Lupin, you were bitten by that bitch, weren't you?
Lupin: Something... [He takes off his fake neck] ... just happened to come between us.

Zenigata: Feel kind of cheesy about this. Last time I prayed, it was for a two-wheeler.

Episode 40, Operation Missilejack[edit]

Security System: Please state today's code phrase.
Chief: I want my daddy and mommy, I'm scared and I want to go home.
[Lupin, who is disguised as the Chief's pet tiger, looks up at the Chief in confusion and astonishment]
Security System: Voice print code and phrase confirmed.

Fujiko: [running a finger around Zenigata's face] I've been having the naughtiest dreams about you, you know that? And you know what I'm doing to you in those dreams? [She rips the plaster off of Zenigata's nose] This!
[Zenigata screams through gritted teeth. Around a corner, Lupin tries to stifle giggles]

Episode 41, Find Princess Kaguya's Treasure[edit]

Jigen: Hey, I know you guys think I'm a misogynist, but it's not exactly a red-letter day for your side of the argument.

Jigen: [seeing the mermaid] Is that a shark? If it is, it's got a great rack.

[Lupin charges out of the tent, swinging a baseball bat. He swings at the yeti, but it dodges, and Lupin falls on his face in the snow. He swings again and again at the yeti, but it backs away and keeps dodging. He falls into a snowdrift and swings the bat around blindly]
Lupin: Where'd you go, you son of a bitch?! You can't hide from me!
[He hits the yeti's leg. It cries in pain. Lupin looks up out of the snowdrift and beams triumphantly]
Lupin: [mockingly] Not so scary now, are you, you big ape? Aww, you want your mommy? Big wussy. Look at you. You should be ashamed of yourself.
[A tear forms in the yeti's eye]
Lupin: [realizing he's not using the right tone] Uh, no, wait, I mean... That's wrong. [He holds out the bottle to the yeti's eye] Just let it out, baby. No need to be stoic. That's right. You have yourself a good cry. Come on. It's all right. [Several frozen tears fall into the bottle. He looks at the frozen tears] Wow, that's not really a whole lot. Might have to hit you again. [The yeti bawls. An avalanche starts, and Lupin runs down the mountain] Damn it! Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone?!

Jigen: [seeing the frozen Lupin] That can't be comfortable.

Kaguya: [seeing the frozen Lupin] What happened? Is he...?
Sherpa: He'll be fine. But he said to give this to you. [He hands Kaguya the bottle with the frozen tears in it]
Kaguya: And you're sure that these are the tears of the Yeti?
Sherpa: I saw it. And the curse of the Yeti came down on him swiftly.
Kaguya: That's so... sweet.
[She kisses Lupin on the cheek. The young man blushes so furiously that steam rises from his head and shoulders]

Lupin: [after being thawed out on a spit] Just great! You think you know a guy, then you turn around and he tries to eat you!

Lupin: [about Kaguya] Goemon, look, I know she lied to us and everything, but come on. Cut her a break. Have a heart.
Goemon: I'm not angry with her, it's that damn Fujiko I want to kill!

Lupin: Hey!! Fujiko!!
Fujiko: Lupin, I can't share it with you! I don't know if there's enough for two!
Lupin: I don't want any! Do you know what it is?! Do you?!?
Fujiko: Yeah, an eternal youth potion of some kind. Why else would she want it?
Lupin: You idiot! Kaguya had that created for her very sick husband! He's in a coma!
[Fujiko gasps, horrified, at the terrible thing she's done]

Jigen: [seeing Fujiko get her comeuppance] It's not real harsh, maybe, but it sure as hell's funny.

Fujiko: [pounding on Lupin's hotel door] Lupin! Come on! I still can't sleep! Hey, come on! Wake up! Hey, Lupin! Open the door!
[Lupin sits up in bed]
Lupin: Aw man, when the hell's this potion ever gonna wear off?
Fujiko: I know you're in there! Let me in!
Lupin [burying his head back under the covers] I'm too tired to appreciate the irony.

Episode 42, Lupin becomes a Bride[edit]

Fujiko: I never thought of you as the golddigger type, but it suits you somehow.

Onabes: Alright, I warned you, Mr. Zenigata. Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you leave the ship.
Zenigata: [as he is dragged away by security] No! Mr. Onabes! Please! Hey! I can explain! This is all her fault! I mean, his fault! You see, she's...

Onabes: Amore!
Lupin: What does that mean?
Onabes: It means: "I want you, I must have you! Let me take you and start a family!"
[He tackles the flabbergasted Lupin]
Onabes: I absolutely refuse to let you up, Miss Mary, unless you promise to marry me!
Lupin: WHAT? That's impossible!
[Onabes forcefully kisses Lupin]
Lupin: Damn it!
[He slaps Onabes, then flips him over in a judo grip]
Lupin: Just snap out of it!
Onabes: Oh yes, flip me like a hamburger, baby!
[Lupin covers his mouth and flees]

Lupin: I'm not even a friggin woman!
Onabes: Oh well, nobody's perfect.
[Realizing he can't win, Lupin jumps down from the mast and lands on the deck. His makeup is now a mess]
Lupin: All right! You win! I give up! But premarital sex is out of the question!

Jigen: He's a guy, Lupin, and you're a guy! And if you were that kind of guy, well, you could have friggin' told somebody!

Episode 48, Lupin Laughs while the Alarm Bell Rings[edit]

[Zenigata is woken by the telephone and answers it]
Zenigata: Zenigata.
Lupin: Hey, man. How's it hanging?
Zenigata: I was just...
Lupin: I refer to that big wad of drool hanging from your chin, you slacker. Then again, in your dreams is the only place you'll ever catch me.

Lupin: [sneezing] You know, I think the whole thing went pretty well.
Jigen: [sneezing] And that was really the best plan you could think of?
Lupin: Gotta keep your eye on the prize. After all, the whole idea was to divert his attention. Remember that. And that's what counts.
Goemon: Because now, Zenigata's gonna be practically living on that boat until they recover our bodies.
Lupin: Exactly. [He sneezes again]

[One of the money bags gets stuck in a pulley]
Jigen: Son of a bitch. Wouldn't you know it? Last one?
Lupin: Stay cool, man. We'll get it. Easy does it now.
[As they try to get the back through, one of the suction cups on the ceiling comes loose]
Jigen: Damn piece of crap.
[The suction cup unsticks, but Lupin and Jigen pull on the rope before the bag hits the floor. They sigh with relief]

Zenigata: [fearing the worst about Lupin] Good heavens, what have I done?

Episode 53, The Mad Fantoma Mark III[edit]

[Lupin and Jigen stand face to face in their living rooms, hands at the ready]
Lupin: So, this is it, huh? It's come to this.
Jigen: Yep. 'Fraid so, Lupin.
Lupin: Think you can take me on?
Jigen: You said it yourself a million times, Lupin. I'm the quickest draw on the planet.
Lupin: Next to me, that is.
Jigen: Oh, man, this will be sweet.
[Goemon gives the signal, and the two draw their remote controls. The TV switches back and forth between footage of a Brief Encounter-like soap opera and what looks like Django]
Goemon: I think we really need to get a second TV.
Lupin: Hey, I've never missed a single episode of Housewives Theater in fifteen years and I'm not starting now.
Jigen: That's too damn bad, pal. There's a first time for everything. Anyway, it's Spaghetti Western Sunday on Channel 5.
[Lupin and Jigen continue switching between channels]
Jigen: Dang!
Lupin: No, no, there it is!
Jigen: We're watching this!
Lupin: Hey! No!
Jigen: Would you come on?
Lupin: There!
Jigen: What are you...?
[The TV goes to static]
Lupin: No!
Jigen: What the...? Oh, that's just great.
Lupin: Stop it! Wonderful. Now look what you've done.
Jigen: Yeah? You started it.

Episode 58, The Border is the Face of Farewell[edit]

Zenigata: [with a tear in his eye] These Russkies aren't very friendly, are they?

Lupin: [previewing the next episode] This next one's just too weird for words. It's sort of 'Twilight Zone' meets 'House of Wax' meets an exhausted writing staff under deadline pressure.

Episode 59, The Mysterious World of Madame X[edit]

Zenigata: [covered in glue] Mother said there would be days like this. Just not this many. Good thing I'm so undauntable, 'cause this kind of thing could really drive you crazy!

Jigen: Something's not right.
Goemon: It just isn't like him.
Jigen: I know. It's been two days now without even a word, and usually the problem is you can't shut him up.

Lupin: Uh, Goemon?
Goemon: You need to remain calm.
Zenigata: All right, you guys calm down. I'll freak out!
[He runs away]

Episode 61, The Flying Zantetsuken[edit]

Lupin: [tipsy on bourbon] Come on, you knew we were drunks when you married us!
Jigen: [also happily wasted on the bourbon] You know the truly great part? I don't care if I ever get better!
Fujiko: [smiling craftily] Don't you tempt fate. It can be cruel.

Zenigata: [answering the phone] Good morning. Zenigata speaking. WHAT?! IN A HOTEL IN BROAD DAYLIGHT?! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!
Lupin: [disguising his voice with an accent] The point is, he's here now. Aloha.

Zenigata: [while visiting Goemon in jail] Goemon, I don't know what's bugging you, but you haven't eaten for a week and that's not good for ya. I went to a lot of trouble to get that Japanese food brought in here. Please! Tell me you're not trying to starve yourself. That would be really bad for your health and my conscience.

Lupin: Hey, uh, Goemon? You know, technically, boneheaded stunts don't count as harakiri.

Episode 62, The Sound of the Devil's Bells Call Lupin[edit]

[Zenigata sees Lupin exit carrying a bunch of weapons]
Zenigata: Uh, listen. Uh, you'd better come along with me right now.
Lupin: Pops, I can't play right now. Sorry. Gotta go. Take care.
Zenigata: Wait! Lupin! Hey!
[Lupin springs into his Mercedes]
Zenigata: Not so fast, wise guy! [He launches himself at the car and throws his handcuffs forward. As Lupin drives off, Zenigata finds that he's handcuffed several sticks of lit dynamite. He realizes what it is and runs off] Help! Somebody help!
[The dynamite explodes as Lupin drives off down the road]

Lupin: So that's it, Gemarschaft. Looks just like any other peaceful, boring village. [He drives further into the seemingly empty village, gets out and looks around] Hmm, did I say peaceful? More like comatose.

Lupin: I gotta admit, I did have an unusually peaceful sleep last night. [He pulls out a pair of earplugs] Modern technology's really a wonderful thing.

[Sister Lavinia seemingly shoots Lupin's head off, and to her surprise he starts running off without it]
Lupin: Sorry, sister. Didn't mean to lose my head. Toodles!

[Lupin blasts the bubble with a couple of missiles from his Mercedes]
Lupin: And that is that. [To his astonishment, the bubble reforms] Aw, man. That may not be that.

Lupin: Okay, pal. Catch me if you can. [The bubble emerges underwater] Damn! I didn't mean it!

Lavinia: So, Lupin, do you see now that it's futile to try to escape from here?
[Lupin stands up in a daze and knocks on his head several times]
Lavinia: Last chance, now. Would you care to accept our invitation and join our brotherhood?
[Lupin scowls defiantly]
Lupin: You heard me, sister. No-one's gonna tell me how to live my life.

Jigen: Why do I feel like I just had a real bad dream?
Lupin: Hey, Jigen, I was living in your bad dream.

Episode 69, The Woman the Old Man Fell in Love With[edit]

Lupin: Hey, guys. Shouldn't we be out stealing something, or running for our lives, or, uh... I dunno, something? I feel like I'm in a rest home here.

Lupin: Whoa! Get a load of this! It's Pops, and he's being chased by somebody. And there's a girl with him, and she's hot! What the hell is wrong with this picture?
Jigen: Well, if you're right, it's the end of the frigging world!

[Japanese original]
Lupin: By the way, Pops, how come you're going out of your way like this for her?
Zenigata: Well, it's because...
Lupin: You're in love with her, aren't you?
Zenigata: [blushing furiously] D-d-don't be ridiculous! I'm a public servant!
[He gives Lupin a playful shove. Lupin points to Laura]
Lupin: [grinning mischievously at Zenigata] There she is!
Zenigata: [bashfully covering his face with his hat] Oh, come on, Lupin!

Jigen: Pops. I... We tried. I'm sorry. Anyway, Lupin's alive. Look, if you wanna get those bastards, hop in.

Goemon: I, Goemon Ishikawa, say to you: Ha ha!

Episode 71, Lupin vs. the Shinsengumi[edit]

[Lupin drives past a police car, laughing]
Police Officer: The guy in the convertible that just went by seemed kinda strange.
Zenigata: [resting in the front passenger seat] Let him go. I'm not in this one.
[He gives his colleague a little smile, then yawns]
Police Officer: 'Kay.

Episode 72, The Skateboard Murder Mystery[edit]

[Lupin swerves through a blockade, but one of Bolonco's men fires a couple of canisters of knockout gas into the car]
Lupin: I always thought I missed my true calling as a stunt driver in action movies, you know? [He sees Jigen coughing] Huh?
Guard: Well that oughta knock 'em out.
[Boronco arrives in on his skateboard]
Bolonco: How'd everything go, Officer?
Guard: Just like a dream.
[Boronco goes over to Lupin and Jigen, who are completely knocked out]

Lupin and Jigen: [playing a clapping game] Eighty eight days now in the spring, summer's upon us so everyone sing: Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker's man, bake me a cake as fast as you can!
[They push the halves of the truck apart and dive out of it]

Jigen: Huh. I never heard of a football coming with a timer. [He places the football to his ear] Hmm...
Goemon: Jigen! They don't!
Jigen: [panicked] Friggin' hell! That means that this thing... This thing here is a...
[The football explodes]
Lupin: Damn! That's it! That little Boronco brat has picked the wrong playmate this time!
Goemon: If you keep thinking of him as just as a kid, then he's gonna keep on playing with you until he wins!

[thanks to Lupin and Fujiko's squabbling, the group ends up losing the Eye of Solomon]
Goemon: I'm reconsidering my membership in this whole enterprise!
Jigen: Can you reconsider mine, too?

Zenigata: Stop! You're under arrest, Lupin! You hear me? Just pull over now... Or not! I gotta admit, I really love the chase.
Lupin: I sure wish he'd reconsider his role in this whole enterprise.

Episode 74, The Terrifying Chameleon Man[edit]

Lupin: [about the diamond] Now I can't seem to decide if I should let Pops lick this thing or not.
Fujiko: Can we vote on it?

[Lupin walks by covered in yellow flowers, humming to himself]
Jigen: Hey, what's with the Woodstock get-up, nature boy?
Lupin: Shh! It's just camouflage. Don't tell her, okay?
[Lupin lies down on the ground and hides among the flowers, waiting for Fujiko]
Goemon: [sighing] He never stopped being a kid.

Episode 78, Diamonds Gleaming in the Robot's Eye[edit]

Lupin: [drowsily answering the phone] The number you've dialed is no longer in service. Check your telephone directory or the information operator for the correct number and go to hell. [He hangs up, but the phone rings again and falls off the dresser. Lupin slithers out of bed and lies half out of it with his mouth near the reciever] You've reached Lupin's mouth. His brain is still asleep. Oh, then you prefer to speak to somebody else? Okay. JIGEN!! PHONE!! IT'S FOR YOU!!!

[Japanese version]
Zenigata: Hey, taxi! [the taxi stops] I'm the police. Follow that car!
Taxi driver: OK.
[Zenigata struggles to get the taxi door open. The driver then strips and throws his clothes on him. He hands his gun to Zenigata and points upward, before getting into a starting position. Zenigata points the gun in the air and fires it. A Union Jack pops out and the driver runs off]
Zenigata: Hey, wait! What are you doing?
[Zenigata stares, nonplussed, as the driver runs down the street]

Baby: And just 'cause Gavotte let the doctor go doesn't mean he isn't gonna rub you guys out. [to Jigen] And you, I'm gonna pluck that beard off your face myself before he kills ya!

Lupin: [about the dismantled robot] Well, why don't we get to work on old Humpty Dumpty?
Fujiko: That doesn't sound good. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.
Lupin: Don't worry. I've done this twice before.
Goemon: You've assembled a robot?
Lupin: Nah. A ship and a tank.
Fujiko: A ship and a tank?
Goemon: That's really quite impressive.
Lupin: Yeah, used to spend all my allowance on those hobby kits of model ships and tanks.
Goemon: Huh?
Fujiko: You mean you've been talking about model airplanes and toys?
Lupin: [after completing the robot] Sure. Keeps a young man's hands out of trouble.

Episode 79, Funeral March for Lupin[edit]

Jigen: [hearing that the concert will have a jeweled baton] You know, Lupin, I don't know if I've told you, but I've been a big classical music fan ever since I was a kid.
Lupin: What? You've always been a ballads kind of guy.

Lupin: [nervously twiddling his thumbs] I never told you about this, Fujicakes, but I very nearly took up the bassoon.
[Fujiko blows smoke in his face]
Fujiko: And I very nearly took up with a baboon.
[She throws her cigarette holder into Lupin's mouth]
Lupin: Very funny.

Lupin: [to Jigen, who is snoring in the seat next to him] Didn't you mention you were a fan of all this classical crap?
[Jigen nods sleepily. Lupin yawns and dozes off as well]
Fujiko: [to Goemon] But they could stay up all night for some kung-fu epic.

Lupin: Looks like Pops is getting serious.
Jigen: Better hope so, 'cause if that ain't serious, I don't know what serious is.

Zenigata: [after his hypnosis is over] Huh? Why the hell'd I pull this out?

[Goemon notices the couch he damaged while under hypnosis]
Goemon: What in the world did I just do?
Jigen: Nothing, just tried to Cuisinart us to death, pally!

Lupin: [about Kyoransky] Does he replace all those chandeliers every time he kills somebody?

[Lupin is about to explain his plan to defeat Kyoransky]
Lupin: Anyway, take a look at this.
[He pulls out a ladle]
Jigen: Okay, I don't understand.
Goemon: It's a straining ladle for cooking.
Jigen: I know that, but what are you gonna do? Challenge Kyoransky to a bake off?

Kyoransky: My father was Momanitt Mulchy. When he was alive, he was a master jeweler. But you killed him in cold blood.
Lupin: I only kill in self-defense, which means I don't regret it.

Lupin: You see, I figured out how it is you managed to control with that glittering baton of yours. It emits a high-pitched sound, like a dog whistle. But, you see, the thing is, yours only produces a single tone, whereas mine, on the other hand, has, um... One, two, three... Boy, there's a lot.

Zenigata: You wanna fill me in on what just happened here?

Episode 80, The Last Meal is a Cup Ramen[edit]

Lupin: Who put all this pepper in here?

Warden: After him! Lupin has escaped! Don't let him get away!
Zenigata: [gleefully sarcastic] Yes, what a shame! Lupin has escaped!

Episode 82, The Rescue Pops Operation[edit]

Zenigata: Damn it, Lupin! I'm going to get killed because of you. I'm totally going to haunt you.
[Lupin turns on a transmission]
Lupin: I don't mind being haunted by a cute girl. Not sure about you, Pops. And I really feel for you guys, having to take care of a klutz like Pops!

Zenigata: Lupin! Do you want to make a fool out of me, Zenigata? I absolutely refuse to be exchanged as a hostage by the likes of you!
[He kicks stuff around like an angry toddler. He finds a stick of dynamite that rolled out, then picks it up with his teeth and throws it into the fireplace. The terrorists panic and run for cover. Zenigata stands in the middle of the room, eyes shut tight, sweating profusely and bracing himself for death. No explosion comes. Zenigata's still alive. He looks behind his shoulder and sees that the dynamite was actually a dud with a microphone hid inside. One of the terrorists faints. The men angrily pile on Zenigata as he sinks, crying, to his knees]
Zenigata: Shut up!
[He kicks them away]
Zenigata: I'm such a failure, I can't even die properly!
[He cries and kicks his feet pathetically]

Napoleon: The reason why I decided to conquer the world was that it was too noisy for me to sleep in. [The gang looks at him, shocked] Quite ironic that I found the ideal place in that underground prison.

Lupin: [tapping the face of Napoleon, who is disguised as him] Wow, what a heavy sleeper.

Lupin: [disguised as Napoleon] Inspector Zenigata, why don't we make a deal? I hate Lupin for putting me through this. How would you like to capture him yourself?
Zenigata: I'll take you up on that offer!
[He rams into Lupin and shoves him into a bush]

[Zenigata sees the helicopter exploding in the distance, as Lupin, who is disguised as Napoleon, stands next to him]
Zenigata: L... Lupin...
Lupin: What's the matter? Aren't you pleased?
Zenigata: [sniffling] I'm sad because a good man has died.
Lupin: A good man?
[Another explosion occurs. Zenigata breaks into a run]
Zenigata: Lupin, if you're alive, let's fight again.
[The smoke from the wreckage billows out. Zenigata stops suddenly. Lupin runs up beside him. As the musical cue 'Zenigata March' plays in the background, Zenigata stares in disbelief. He starts to cry and sinks to his knees]
Zenigata: L... Lupin... We were on different sides of the law, but I liked you.
[He collapses and beats the ground, sobbing. Lupin smiles warmly]
Lupin: [in thought] I like you, too.

Jigen: Love isn't allowed in a man's world.
Lupin: Come on, Jigen, don't be so mean.

Episode 84, Leave Revenge to Lupin[edit]

Jigen: [answering the phone] Huh?
Joe of Spade: Jigen! I'm being chased! Help me! This is Joe!
Jigen: Joe? What's the matter? Where are you?
Joe of Spade: I'm in Maria's restaurant.
[Joe's two pursuers kick the door open. Joe draws but isn't able to fire. He backs away in terror]
Jigen: [over the phone] Joe, answer me! What's the matter with you, Joe?
Male voice: [over the phone] Go to hell, you idiot!
[From over the phone comes the sound of gunfire]
Jigen: JOE!
[Jigen's panicked cries wake Lupin, who sleepily shuffles out of his room, clutching a pillow. The international thief and criminal looks profoundly innocent standing in the doorway like this]
Lupin: Jigen, what's going on?
Jigen: Damn it, my hero's going to get killed.
Lupin: [half-asleep] Huh...?
Jigen: He's a man named Joe of Spade... Lupin, will you go to Marseille with me?
[Lupin responds with a loud yawn]
Lupin: It's the middle of the night...
[Jigen carries Lupin over his shoulder into the Mercedes and drives into the night with him in the front passenger seat]

[Lupin appears in Joe's teleporter. His hair crackles with static and he wears a dazed expression]
Joe: Lupin! What are you doing here?
[He curiously walks over to Lupin to closely inspect him. The young man rolls out, curled up in a tight ball, in the middle of the room. Slowly, he unfolds his legs, then his arms, rolling onto his back, and then a sitting position. He sets his head straight, then pinches his cheek, then his nose, then his ears, then feels his eyes, his head and chin, squishes his cheeks, feels his mouth, and finally slaps his face before shaking his head. He sits, still in a daze, and blinks. He looks around]
Lupin: Oh, Joe! That means the electric waves have successfully transmitted me!

Episode 97, Find the Treasure of Lupin the First[edit]

[While Lupin is kissing Fujiko, he swallows something]
Lupin: Did you just feed me something?
Fujiko: [coyly] You're right.
Lupin: [giggling] It's a potency drug, right?
Fujiko: It's the opposite.
Lupin: The opposite?
Fujiko: It'll make you sleep like a log.
Lupin: Sleep like a...
[He tumbles out of the bed and passes out]

[Lupin, Jigen and Goemon are handcuffed to a tree branch by Zenigata]
Lupin: Hey, Zenigata, what are you going to do with us?
Zenigata: I'm not going to do anything.
Lupin: You're not going to do anything? What do you mean? Why won't you arrest us?
Zenigata: According to the findings from the ICPO investigation, three men suspected as killers are riding the airship Paradise, which is on a goodwill mission. One of the men is from America, one is from Britain and the third is from the USSR. And the target seems to be you, Lupin the Third.
Lupin: Thanks for the information. But Pops, why are you going out of your way to help us?
[Zenigata says nothing, but turns and silently walks away. He stops suddenly]
Zenigata: I heard they have strange killing techniques. Be careful.
Lupin: Now I understand why you showed us your capture technique.
Zenigata: [suddenly acting like a tsundere] You idiot! What kind of policeman would do such a thing?... Good luck anyway.
Jigen and Goemon: Good luck?
Lupin: [smiling warmly] He's too nice to be a policeman.

Episode 98, The Day the Old Man Died[edit]

Lupin: Sure would be nice, going up to Heaven with Pops, hand in hand.

[Zenigata wakes up underwater and surfaces in the Seine]
Lupin: Good grief! Pops is alive!
Zenigata: Lupin! You're under arrest!
Lupin: What's going on here?
Jigen: No idea.
Goemon: [hearing Truffaut's men] They're coming.
[The gang jumps into the river. Lupin knocks Zenigata out with a stick as he does so]
Lupin: You play dead now, Pops.

Zenigata: Lupin... Thank you.

Episode 128, The Old Woman and the Thievery Contest[edit]

[Lupin barges into Jigen and Goemon's room. The two men wake up squealing like little girls. There's a short, awkward pause. Lupin goes to the end of Goemon's bed and looks at him curiously]
Goemon: [blushing and clearing his throat] It seems I've had a bad dream.
Jigen: [trying to look casual] Me, too.
[Lupin leaves, knowing his partners don't have the diamond]

[The gang stand on each other's shoulders so that their lunatic friend can reach a diaper on a laundry line]
Jigen: When I find that old lady, I'll show her who's boss.
Goemon: [standing on Jigen's shoulders] I came to Broadway for this?
Fujiko: [standing on Goemon's shoulders] The four of us had to be mobilized for that?
Lupin: [standing on Fujiko's shoulders] Just a bit more... there... just a bit more...
[He manages to grab the trivial thing]

Lupin: That old bag is trying to make the article more interesting. She siphoned the gas out of the tank. We're out of gas!
Jigen: [laughing lightly and pushing his fedora further down his face] That old biddy. I'm beginning to like her.

Episode 129, In Jigen, I Saw the Kindness of a Man's Soul[edit]

Guard: At the moment, the president is taking a nap. Until he wakes up, please wait in the waiting room.
Jigen: OK. By the way... [He hits the guard with a tranquilizer dart] Why don't you take a nap as well?

Lupin: I really ought to go there myself, but Pops is hot on my tail right now.
Zenigata: Grrr... Woof!

[A group of men in brown uniforms burst in on Jigen, who is sitting in a hotel room, holding a beverage glass and wearing a nightgown and a nightcap]
Jigen: Well, I don't recall calling for room service.
Janaican Police Chief: Has a woman come into this room?
Jigen: What woman? Sorry, man, but I'm a woman-hater.
Janaican Police Chief: If you're lying, you're in big trouble. Search the place!
[The men trash the room while Jigen calmly sits and has a drink. Fortunately, they don't notice the broken window the woman swung in through]
Janaican Officer: Damn it, she got away!
[The men leave as Jigen holds the door open for them]
Jigen: [to the chief] Thank you for coming. Why don't you have a drink with me?
[The chief ignores him and leaves. Jigen kicks the door shut in a huff]

Fujiko: [disguised as a pilot] We're carrying too many people. One person has to get off or we're going to crash.
Lupin: [fighting a thumb war with Zenigata] That's what he says. What are you going to do, Pops? I don't want to get off.
Zenigata: [also fighting the thumb war] I don't want to get off here either.

Episode 139, Steal Everything From Lupin[edit]

Zenigata: [disguising himself as a woman] Lupin has a weakness for women.
[He applies the lipstick. The white face paint and colorful clothes honestly make him look more like a clown. He answers his walkie-talkie]
Officer: Inspector, Lupin is here.
Zenigata: Alright, I understand. [He puts on a girlish voice] I'll be right there.

Jigen: [seeing Mr. Steel as Lupin grope a woman in the park] He's really trying to act like Lupin, isn't he?
Lupin: I'm not as bad as that.

[Mr. Steel in Lupin's body tries to chat up a disguised Zenigata]
Goemon: His taste is as bad as yours.
Lupin: Don't be silly. I wouldn't try and pick up Old Man Zenigata if I was offered.

Lupin: This is the first time I've disguised myself as myself. It's really strange.

[Zenigata faints from the confusion of having his body transported into Mr. Steel's]
Dr. Changer: Poor thing. With his brain it's difficult to understand what's going on, you see.

[as Zenigata, in the dying Mr. Steel's body, chases his own body, Lupin drives past in the Mercedes]
Lupin: Pops! Work harder, will you?
Zenigata: L-Lupin!
[Lupin accelerates, and so does Mr. Steel]
Zenigata: Wait!
[Gradually he slows to a walk and finally collapses, dropping his handcuffs. It's curtains for Zenigata... probably]

Episode 140, Wolf Run, Pig Fall Down[edit]

Lupin: Look at Pops bragging up there.
Jigen: Go ahead and let him.

Jigen: Thanks for catching up, Pops.

Jigen: That fish could beat Jaws.
Lupin: I oughta turn 'im into a canned salmon.

Lupin: Animal instincts really are a wonderful thing.

Episode 142, The Big Favorite Disappeared at the Grand Race[edit]

Lupin: Pops, where's your parachute?
Zenigata: I don't need it to arrest you!
Lupin: Let go, Pops!
Zenigata: No way in hell!
[They float down past Red Arrow, who kicks Zenigata, sending him falling into the water, taking Lupin's pants with him]

Fujiko: You've done it, Lupin!
Lupin: Yes, but he eats like a horse, pardon the expression.

Episode 145, Wings of Death: Albatross[edit]

[Lupin prepares to exchange the detonator for Fujiko]
Lonebach: One...
Lupin: Two...
[Fujiko reveals herself to be Zenigata in disguise]
Zenigata: Three!

[Zenigata searches Lupin, emptying his false foot]
Lupin: Pops, is that big aeroboat going to fly?
Zenigata: Umm... it's going to try and fly over the Mediterranean sea today.
Lupin: Oh, I see... It's the plug for the Albatross, huh? [Zenigata grabs his face, thinking it's a mask to be searched] Ow! Ow! Stop it!
Zenigata: Oh, it's in here?
[Zenigata pulls off a fake hairpiece from Lupin's head]
Lupin: I don't know.
[Zenigata looks in bewilderment as the hairpiece starts to fizzle, and finds out too late that it's a flash grenade]

Lupin: Fujiko. Fujiko.
[Fujiko awakens]
Fujiko: Lupin.
Lupin: You're not hurt?
[Fujiko finds she's lying in the rubble, sandwiched between Jigen and Zenigata, who are unconscious]
Fujiko: I know you look serious but this really must be some kind of joke to you!

[Lonebach floats through the air with Zenigata clinging to him]
Zenigata: I've never seen an atom bomb like this.
Lonebach: These bombs are real, I tell you!
Zenigata: Then let them explode!
Lonebach: No! No way!

Episode 151, The Arrest Lupin Highway Operation[edit]

Zenigata: I'll catch Lupin even if I have to go into the cage with him.

Lupin: Yo, Pops, are you alright down there?
Zenigata: [poking his head through the bars] Lupin, how dare you! Don't move! I'm going to get you right now! [He realizes his head is stuck and manages to pull it back through the bars. The barge starts moving] Stop that!
Lupin: Next time, pick a better trap for me! [He laughs loudly]
Zenigata: [angrily shooting at Lupin] You think it's so funny to make a fool of me?

Episode 154, The Hexagon's Great Legacy[edit]

Fujiko: [disguised as a messenger] Inspector, I've got news for you.
Zenigata: Regarding Lupin?
Fujiko: Yes. He's targeting a bank at the Hexagon City.
[Zenigata laughs eagerly and snatches his coat]
Zenigata: Give it.
[He dashes out the door]

Zenigata: Wait there, Lupin. I'll use my bonus money to buy you a grave.

Episode 155, Farewell my beloved Lupin[edit]

"Zenigata": And this cutie... I mean, the girl is?

Lupin: The real Pops should be at the airport by now.

Zenigata: How stupid can a guy be to impersonate Lupin?

English Dub Bloopers[edit]

Jigen: I still say that broad is nothing but trouble, but God damn it, has she got great tits or what?

Jigen: It says right here, "Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot..."

Lupin: Sounds like someone thinks he might not measure up.
Jigen: Oh, that's ridiculous, man! I have a fourteen-inch doggy dick and don't you forget it!

Dr. Normil: Gentlemen.
Jigen: Hey, this guy's got a dick for a head.
Dr. Normil: I can see you've been talking about me already.

Jigen: You just tripped over my dick.

Jigen: There's a sign up ahead. It says Go Fuck Yourself.

Lupin: Nothing like a tall glass of juice after a near-fatal sauna.
Jotarou: Excuse me, but I thought you might like to know that you now have no choice but to lick my sweaty fucking testes.

Lupin: Stop it! Turn it off, please!
Jotarou: And then, when you couldn't beat my father fair and square, you cheated!
Lupin: Hah! I could have broken into that safe blindfolded, but I didn't! And you know why? It was out of compassion for your father, you bald fuck!
Jotarou: That's a desperate lie. I'm not a bald fuck, I wax!

Zenigata: Dickhead, you'd better be positive about this.
Dr. Normil: I hate it when people call me that. I'M VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY HEAD! Bastard!
Zenigata: [in thought] Sure you are... penis with ears.

Lupin, the incorrigible Lupin[edit]

Episode 34, Manhattan Crisis[edit]

[Lupin and Jigen shelter together in a safe while Zenigata searches among the rubble]
Lupin: Looks like we have nowhere to go.
Jigen: [dazed] You got that.

Episode 38, The Little Mermaid[edit]

Jigen: Fujiko, in your vocabulary the word friends is just a synonym for money.

About Lupin III[edit]

  • Interviewer: Lupin’s charming isn’t he…
  • Monkey Punch: In a word, he’s all about “freedom”, isn’t he. I think this makes him a reflection of what we’d like to be ourselves.
  • Actually, it's kind of interesting. I think men and women in general as... rather than saying tease, say they enjoy each other. They use their attributes; Fujiko uses her beautiful body and her sex appeal as a weapon and Lupin uses his cunning and his wit as a weapon and they like going at it with each other in a fun sense. Not necessarily lovers, not necessarily husband and wife, but more just having fun as man and woman with each other and using their weapons against each other, but in an enjoyable way. That's how I think of that.
  • When I started drawing Lupin thirty-six years ago, I was really only supposed to draw him for 3 months. It was more of only a contract project. At the end of that 3 months, it became popular and I continued drawing it for 10 years. And over that time, I never expected that I'd be invited to America multiple times, to attend these conventions, have so many fans and people that have read my works and have come to talk to me and express their gratitude. It's really an amazing feeling and at the same time it's bizarre in a way. I don't understand the popularity. I'm happy for it, but I don't understand it.
  • I would probably have to say as far as inspirations are concerned, maybe some of the more famous mystery works, just worldly mystery works. I think they probably helped me out creating my stories quite a bit.
    Even things like, you know, Treasure Island or Monte Crisco, I think even those works influenced me quite a bit. I even enjoyed reading about D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers. It might be my own analysis, but I even feel that Lupin might be very similar to D'Artagnan. M'lady the character that comes out from the D'Artagnan stories, I think that person might even be similar to Fujiko. So, those kinds of works I really think they did affect me at an early age.

External links[edit]

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