Minions (in 103 minutes release) is a 2015 American 3D computer-animated comedy film and a prequel/spin-off to the Despicable Me franchise. Produced by Illumination Entertainment for Universal Pictures, the film was written by Brian Lynch, directed by Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda and produced by Chris Meledandri and Janet Healy. The film was first foreshadowed in the ending credits of Despicable Me 2, where Stuart, Kevin and Bob, three of the Minions, are seen auditioning for the film.
Minions premiered on June 11, 2015, in London and was released in the United States on July 10, 2015 to mixed reviews and has grossed over $433,000,000.
- Doesn't it feel so good to be bad?
- [after seeing Herb's card, reading "I missed you! H."] Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!
- This is torture! [the Minions play with a hangman's noose] Guys, cut it out! This is really unprofessional!
- Minion: [as a primitive caveman is about to hit a bear with a club] No, no, no! Piñata! [the Minions cheers as the primitive hits the bear with a fly swatter, then the bear eats him alive as the Minions screamed in terror]
- Tina: By the time she was 13, she built a criminal empire!
- Frankie Fishlips: [as Scarlet declares that all the villains have one thing in common] WE WERE BORN WITH FLIPPERS! … No? Just me? Okay.
- Scarlet: Do you know who this is? [points at a British Royal portrait]
- Kevin: Uh... la cucaracha?
- Scarlet: This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. I love England. Their music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Anyway. This pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, loved her work. And I really, really, really want her crown!
- Scarlet: Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. RESPECT POWER!
- Stuart: BANANA!
- Scarlet: BANANA!
- Herb: Woah! These guys are pumped!
- Scarlet: Maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story. How does that sound, Bob? Bob?, Bob? [screaming louder] BOB?
- Bob: Bedtime story?
- Herb: That is a groovy idea! I'll get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun!
- [Bob asks Scarlet if she has a good bedtime story]
- Scarlet: Oh, yes. I've got a really really really good bedtime story. [beginning to count the history] Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the 3 piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the 3 little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned… but that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves the princess, so the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown... but the little piggies weren't up to the challenge. They failed their mission, so the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the earth! The end. [Kevin and Stuart are scared] Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you wouldn't disappoint me. [the light turns off while they look Bob sleeping]
- Keeper of the Crown (who's blinded): So… you came for the queen's crown, did ya? Well, you're gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!
- [Kevin, Stuart and Bob laugh because the tower guard is in the wrong direction]
- Kevin: [speaks Minionese mockingly while the keeper gets hit in the head with a cane] Augh, hey!
- Keeper of the Crown: You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do ya?
- Kevin: Uh... si? [the tower guard hits Kevin in the head] Augh!
- Keeper of the Crown: I've been up here for decades… [hits Kevin right between his legs with his cane while he screams] ...Just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen's treasure! [wacks Kevin to the wall with his cane]
- Queen Elizabeth II: [beats up Stuart] Gentleman... do... not... steal... ladies'... crowns...!
- Bob: King Bob!
- [in a spa, with two fire hydrants]
- Stuart: Ah, Claire. Ooh, Tiffany. Mi bellas! Rawr. [kisses them]
- Tina: [playing the guitar; sings "Minions Lullaby"]
- Walter: What do you a favorite song?
- Officer Avacados: Tina Nelson, you're under arrest, take it away.
- Scarlet: [angry] How dare you? [gets hit by a ball] Aaaaaahhhhh! [pounced on by a corgi, who licks her, but Scarlet throws the corgi back onto the floor, scaring the painter.]
- Kevin: [relieved] Scarlet!
- Scarlet: [gets mad at the minions] Don't you "Scarlet" me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown?!
- Herb: I feel used. Not gonna lie.
- Scarlet: You stole my dream. I was going to conquer England someday. There was going to be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. Every moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly it glowed, and everyone who ever doubted me would be watching and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of elegance and class, and you pinheads screwed it up!
- Herb: Scarlet, you're okay!
- Scarlet: [enraged] HE TRIED TO KILL ME!
- Kevin: Uh, no, no... [speaks Minionese]
- Scarlet: Villains, this is no longer a coronation! It is an execution!! GET THEM!!! [The villains charge to seize the Minions; they scream and run away]
- Uh oh.
- Meet Stuart, Kevin & Bob
- Go back to where it all began.
- Before Gru, they had a history of bad bosses
- It's going to be a blast.
- Pierre Coffin — Minions Kevin, Stuart and Bob
- Geoffrey Rush — Narrator
- Sandra Bullock — Scarlet Overkill
- Jon Hamm — Herb Overkill
- Michael Keaton — Walter Nelson
- Allison Janney — Madge Nelson
- Steve Coogan — Professor Flux and a Tower Guard
- Jennifer Saunders — Queen Elizabeth II
- Geoffrey Rush — The Narrator
- Matthew Lillard - Officer Avacados
- Katy Mixon — Tina Nelson
- Steve Carell — Young Felonious Gru
- Hiroyuki Sanada — Dumo the Sumo
- Michael Beattie — Walter Nelson Jr. and Villain-Con Announcer
- Paul Thornley — News Reporter
Encyclopedic article on Minions (film) at Wikipedia